Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]
Invisiblepsychodelia
Not a cop


Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 2,284
Crush on a girl that's in a relationship
    #18753649 - 08/25/13 12:16 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

There is a girl I like named Lucy. We both go to music college and have mutual musical and non-musical interests. We have talked a lot about some personal things and whatnot and we may even become a duo and do some gigs, she has a great voice. I've been having those warm fuzzy feelings you get when you have a crush whenever I think about her though, and I haven't felt like this about anyone for a long time. The kicker here is that she has a boyfriend she's been with for over a year. Sometimes it feels like she doesn't and we are about to fall in love or whatever but I always realize she already is with someone and seems happy and that she could see me as completely just a friend.

I've been trying to think like that, trying to accept that it can't happen because she is with someone already. But still it blows and I just wish I could tell her my feelings. But I won't because it would put her in a difficult position and would hurt our friendship...

I dunno, shroomery. I'm just venting I guess :shrug:
Have any of you been in this lame, frustrating position? What did you do about it?
My best guess would be to just try and not think about her like that or find someone else to have a crush on? I can't seem to do that though, I really just don't like anyone else like I do her.


--------------------
don't be nervous


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsilosopherr
A psilly goose
Other User Gallery


Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 2 months, 3 days
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: psychodelia]
    #18753667 - 08/25/13 12:26 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Oh god..you've made me realize I don't get crushes anymore.

Count yourself lucky you can at least make new friends. I can't do either.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMasked
The Nutter
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: psychodelia]
    #18753700 - 08/25/13 12:37 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I'm in love with a woman who has been with someone for some time now. So i can relate to the situation, although I can't relate to how you are feeling...if that helps :shrug:

Just enjoy the company and live in the now.  Just enjoy your time with her


--------------------
.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepsychodelia
Not a cop


Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 2,284
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: Masked]
    #18753730 - 08/25/13 12:53 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Masked said:
I'm in love with a woman who has been with someone for some time now. So i can relate to the situation, although I can't relate to how you are feeling...if that helps :shrug:

Just enjoy the company and live in the now.  Just enjoy your time with her




I will... We could have a lot of fun playing music together I guess, I just don't want my deluded brain to ruin it


--------------------
don't be nervous


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinegulper2323
Unknown Landscape Climber
Male


Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,282
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: psychodelia]
    #18753773 - 08/25/13 01:15 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

If you're planning on making a band with her, playing gigs, etc it would be for the best that you just stay friends, because if you had a relationship with her and it turned ugly don't expect her to stick around for the gigs.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepsychodelia
Not a cop


Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 2,284
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: gulper2323]
    #18753797 - 08/25/13 01:25 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

gulper2323 said:
If you're planning on making a band with her, playing gigs, etc it would be for the best that you just stay friends, because if you had a relationship with her and it turned ugly don't expect her to stick around for the gigs.



True, though the gigs would just be for fun and I have my main band
If her and her bf broke up for whatever reason I can't see myself being able to resist asking her out :shrug:


--------------------
don't be nervous


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinegulper2323
Unknown Landscape Climber
Male


Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,282
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: psychodelia]
    #18753813 - 08/25/13 01:38 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Oh, well if it's just going to be a secondary project that you're only doing for fun then I suppose it wouldn't matter too much if you were in a relationship with her. Just don't break up a relationship that has lasted this long, but if they do break up then go for it :awethumb:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepsychodelia
Not a cop


Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 2,284
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: gulper2323]
    #18753822 - 08/25/13 01:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Definitely don't want to break them up, that would be a dick move. But I can always hope.. One day :hahyeahwoo:


--------------------
don't be nervous


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: psychodelia]
    #18753849 - 08/25/13 02:04 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

'Breaking them up' makes no sense. They may break up for whatever reason, but if they do, it'll be them that do it, not you. In the meantime, if you like this person, then spend time with her. Who knows, perhaps she likes you back.

Fun fact: I wouldn't have existed if men had virtuously stepped back from women who are dating someone else. Just to say that if you don't do it, someone else will.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepsychodelia
Not a cop


Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 2,284
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: koraks]
    #18753873 - 08/25/13 02:15 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

koraks said:
'Breaking them up' makes no sense. They may break up for whatever reason, but if they do, it'll be them that do it, not you. In the meantime, if you like this person, then spend time with her. Who knows, perhaps she likes you back.

Fun fact: I wouldn't have existed if men had virtuously stepped back from women who are dating someone else. Just to say that if you don't do it, someone else will.




You're right, the best I can do is hang out with her and see what happens


--------------------
don't be nervous


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: psychodelia]
    #18754129 - 08/25/13 05:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

You never want to be the little coward waiting in the wings for something to go wrong. If you can't be her friend and only that, drop it now, for your own sake. Best case scenario you're a rebound or infidelity, worst case scenario she'll end up finding you creepy. Either deal with it internally or by avoiding her. It's not easy, but it's easier than the alternative, I promise you that much.

Good luck and I really am not trying to be a bastard, but this will not end well if you let those feelings grow.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBallerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: EllisDSox] * 4
    #18754561 - 08/25/13 09:31 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Funny, I'm in love with a girl named Lucy too. :smirk:


--------------------
Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSynthe
Gatorade me, bitch!
Male


Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 7,961
Loc: Three bags of Funyuns Flag
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: Ballerium]
    #18754750 - 08/25/13 10:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Hey me 3! :lsd:


--------------------



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLynnch
Strangerer
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,886
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: Synthe]
    #18754980 - 08/25/13 12:16 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I've been the guy in the wings, next in line, waiting forever for my chance. I've been the guy that broke up a couple and stole a guy's girl. I've even been simultaneously the unrequiting one who just wants to be a friend, and the guy who gets a girl to cheat on her boyfriend. I've lost friends, gained lovers, and everything in between.  This is a tough spot to be in, and there's no way to say for sure how it will end up.

It really comes down to- If you like her, spend time with her. Buying her flowers and confessing your love is a sure way to scare her off, but if you become close enough that you're inseparable- who knows, you could wind up drunk together and she might confess feelings for you.... Or not. But you'll have a really close friend.

If I have one tip though, It takes time- So in the meantime, keep looking for single girls too. Keep the possibility open, but don't waste your time obsessing over it.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepsychodelia
Not a cop


Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 2,284
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: Lynnch]
    #18758347 - 08/26/13 02:45 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Lynnch said:
I've been the guy in the wings, next in line, waiting forever for my chance. I've been the guy that broke up a couple and stole a guy's girl. I've even been simultaneously the unrequiting one who just wants to be a friend, and the guy who gets a girl to cheat on her boyfriend. I've lost friends, gained lovers, and everything in between.  This is a tough spot to be in, and there's no way to say for sure how it will end up.

It really comes down to- If you like her, spend time with her. Buying her flowers and confessing your love is a sure way to scare her off, but if you become close enough that you're inseparable- who knows, you could wind up drunk together and she might confess feelings for you.... Or not. But you'll have a really close friend.

If I have one tip though, It takes time- So in the meantime, keep looking for single girls too. Keep the possibility open, but don't waste your time obsessing over it.




I don't really want to be that guy that makes her cheat or anything. I'm just going to do what your second paragraph says and be her friend, and if she never has feelings for me I'll be okay with that. Thanks for the perspective.


--------------------
don't be nervous


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinenaturesrevolt
StrangerOfAwesome
Male


Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 681
Loc: Missouri Flag
Last seen: 10 months, 17 days
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: psychodelia]
    #18767830 - 08/28/13 09:59 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This situation is quite common. I've learned that pining for someone whom you can't have is often repeated in someone's romantic life due to them feeling they're not adequate enough to try the direct approach.
If this is a rare or first time in your life where you found someone attractive only after getting into friendships with them then I would recommend to ignore it and move on. Because waiting is not healthy. Expecting and hoping for a breakup is not healthy. Still keeping someone on a back burner while not giving your full attention to new Single prospects is not healthy. My suggestion is to forget it and move on. I also noticed that it's been a while for you OP, this could also play into falling for someone who is taken is the "safe" choice for your emotional being.
Music is an intensely emotional affair. To be in music is you putting your intense feelings into your musical arts. While this passion is on display it's often easy to fall for someone displaying these intensities. Be wary of this kind of emotional pull.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepsychodelia
Not a cop


Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 2,284
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: naturesrevolt]
    #18772165 - 08/29/13 08:51 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

naturesrevolt said:
This situation is quite common. I've learned that pining for someone whom you can't have is often repeated in someone's romantic life due to them feeling they're not adequate enough to try the direct approach.
If this is a rare or first time in your life where you found someone attractive only after getting into friendships with them then I would recommend to ignore it and move on. Because waiting is not healthy. Expecting and hoping for a breakup is not healthy. Still keeping someone on a back burner while not giving your full attention to new Single prospects is not healthy. My suggestion is to forget it and move on. I also noticed that it's been a while for you OP, this could also play into falling for someone who is taken is the "safe" choice for your emotional being.
Music is an intensely emotional affair. To be in music is you putting your intense feelings into your musical arts. While this passion is on display it's often easy to fall for someone displaying these intensities. Be wary of this kind of emotional pull.




Interesting, that made a lot of sense. Disappoint though. The way it really went down was I got to know her online and after a month or two developed feelings for her. Only recently been talking with her face to face but it's going well and feels good, although I always try to suppress the feelings since I know I can't have her, I guess that's the unhealthy part? Does this mean my feelings for her aren't genuine and it's just my brain taking a safer option for fear of rejection from someone else that could be available?


--------------------
don't be nervous


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinesonamdrukpa
Wayfarer


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 2,777
Last seen: 3 months, 2 days
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: psychodelia] * 2
    #18773519 - 08/29/13 02:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

The only way to fix a problem like this is to go out and fall in love (or at least bang) another girl.  Seriously.  Unrequited love only gets worse if you let it fester.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineVsnares.Zappa
bend over


Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 3,153
Last seen: 4 months, 10 days
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #18774326 - 08/29/13 05:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

sonamdrukpa said:
The only way to fix a problem like this is to go out and fall in love (or at least bang) another girl.  Seriously.  Unrequited love only gets worse if you let it fester.



THIS :thumbup:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinenaturesrevolt
StrangerOfAwesome
Male


Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 681
Loc: Missouri Flag
Last seen: 10 months, 17 days
Re: Crush on a girl that's in a relationship [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
    #18778723 - 08/30/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

The feelings are real. But the unconscious intentions may be suppressed. Don't think your feelings are fake.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* welp.. i found my dream girl, but EXDIM 763 14 03/19/18 02:34 PM
by mndfreeze
* In An Abusive Relationship, Need To Leave... WeAreMushroom 1,374 19 04/04/18 05:20 PM
by Mr.GuessWork

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, Shroomism, automan, yogabunny, CookieCrumbs
756 topic views. 0 members, 6 guests and 4 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.028 seconds spending 0.004 seconds on 15 queries.