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InvisibleDemonic_Chronic
The Plague Doctress
Trans-female


Registered: 08/10/08
Posts: 4,199
Loc: PNW Flag
Found out my grandmother died today...
    #18751775 - 08/24/13 02:21 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Woke up to a bunch of missed calls, last night my dad told me they transferred her to a hospital in Louisville and she refused to be put on life support.( I would do the same)
Well this morning at around 9am she passed.. Now shes in the land of the DMT spirits, along with my cousin who died last year in a car accident. He was like my brother, we shared so much in common.
My grandmother was literally the nicest person I ever knew, she couldnt harm a fly. She had a heart of gold and would give anything to help someone out.
Been crying all day and all day yesterday..

Just bought a dip stick drug test to see If im clean from weed bc. I really wanna smoke a fucking bowl.. Have a probation meeting Thurs.
Called my P.O to see if I can reschedule till next thurs. because Ill be down in the most southern part of my state then Ill have to come back and do another 2 hour drive on thursday. Honestly at this point I dont care..
Im prescribed amphetamines and Benzos so they cant say anything about me testing positive for those two. I highly doubt they will throw me in jail for testing positive for weed, prolly just some extra drug classes.. I just need something to take this stress off and I have like 5% body fat. Im pretty good at passing drug tests, dipstick isnt that hard.

At this point I dont care, If they throw me in prison whatever I cant get through this sober and I dont want to eat a bunch of Kpins.

Fuck my life Shroomery...

DC


--------------------
The Real violence, the violence that I realized was unforgiveable
Is the violence that we do to ourselves
When we are too afraid to be, who we really are.


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Offlinejvm
I knew the pieces fit!
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 2,031
Loc: Cleveland, Ohio Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18751804 - 08/24/13 02:28 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Hey man. I am sorry for your loss but as you said, remember that her spirit is in a whole different realm right now. I've vaporized herbs like damiana,chamomile, lavender and wormwood for similar psychological calming effects like cannabis. Even better when mixed together if you do choose to smoke which is alright man but it might not be the best interest of your future just for a little mild escape. :dancingbear:


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InvisibleDemonic_Chronic
The Plague Doctress
Trans-female


Registered: 08/10/08
Posts: 4,199
Loc: PNW Flag
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: jvm]
    #18751960 - 08/24/13 03:08 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Just fuck it all.

C ya everybody im gunna go all :tron:

DC


--------------------
The Real violence, the violence that I realized was unforgiveable
Is the violence that we do to ourselves
When we are too afraid to be, who we really are.


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Offlinedontknow
It's all in the reflex


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 3,889
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18751967 - 08/24/13 03:10 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Sorry to hear about this.. just don't do anything rash.
everything will be alright. :hug:


--------------------
:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

:tripping2: :shroomer:  :trippinballs: :shroomin:

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.”
Albert Einstein


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OfflineShroomPuncher
The FunGuy
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 988
Loc: Mother Earth
Last seen: 6 months, 17 days
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18752125 - 08/24/13 03:49 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I'm very sorry for your loss, bro. I highly advise not smoking. I've taken a lot of risks while on probation and you'll just end up causing yourself more stress by worrying about going to prison... trust me, it's no fun. And if you think that's stress, wait until you're in prison for something as simple as failing a drug test.. Whether they send you to jail, prison, or just some extra drug classes, not worth the risk. Your grandmother seems like a very genuine human being. What would she advise you to do?


At least wait until after your PO visit. Hope all turns out well for you.


--------------------
Hunting Psillies?
Want a sig or avatar made? Message me. [Prints in exchange would be nice, but not required]

Disclaimer: I in no way engage in violent acts against mushrooms, nor do I support or advocate such behavior. :mushroom2:


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,485
Loc: Texas
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: ShroomPuncher]
    #18752131 - 08/24/13 03:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Very sorry to hear, DC. I've already lost both of my grandmothers.


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleMagicman69
All About the Benjamins
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/29/13
Posts: 6,876
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Niffla]
    #18752202 - 08/24/13 04:07 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Both my Grandmas passed too, but I feel my Moms mother. She's my guardian angel I think


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InvisibleDemonic_Chronic
The Plague Doctress
Trans-female


Registered: 08/10/08
Posts: 4,199
Loc: PNW Flag
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Magicman69]
    #18753950 - 08/25/13 03:05 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks everyone, decided not to smoke.
drank a half gallon of mead and now me and the girl are bumpin molly.

DC


--------------------
The Real violence, the violence that I realized was unforgiveable
Is the violence that we do to ourselves
When we are too afraid to be, who we really are.


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InvisibleRustifer
prestige worldwide
Male


Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic] * 1
    #18753975 - 08/25/13 03:22 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I covered up dealing with my fathers death with benzos heroin and more. now 7 years later, my life is a mess because of this. Get off that shit before it fucks you too bro.


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Onlinelifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 16,712
Last seen: 30 seconds
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic] * 1
    #18753995 - 08/25/13 03:40 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

DC,
relax man.
I know death can cause weird emotions to surface, it's okay.
Just don't do anything illegal from this point on and you're fine.  At least til ur off probation.


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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OfflineLed Zeppelin
Tripper


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 3,962
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Rustifer]
    #18753998 - 08/25/13 03:43 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

the molly will help ya open up :thumbup:

glad you didnt go the heroin and benzo route like Rustifier was talking about. I know a guy whos dad ODd on fentanyl and hes been drowning in H and bars for so long now


Edited by Led Zeppelin (08/25/13 03:45 AM)


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InvisibleDemonic_Chronic
The Plague Doctress
Trans-female


Registered: 08/10/08
Posts: 4,199
Loc: PNW Flag
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Led Zeppelin]
    #18754013 - 08/25/13 03:51 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Never touched heroin in my life, never will. Only opiate I will do is Opium.

DC


--------------------
The Real violence, the violence that I realized was unforgiveable
Is the violence that we do to ourselves
When we are too afraid to be, who we really are.


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OfflineLed Zeppelin
Tripper


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 3,962
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18754017 - 08/25/13 03:52 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Demonic_Chronic said:
Never touched heroin in my life, never will.




good idea! :thumbup:


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OfflineConstantine
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/01/11
Posts: 4,643
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18754111 - 08/25/13 05:26 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Sorry to hear that brother.

She's in a better place now :hug: :heartpump:


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InvisibleRustifer
prestige worldwide
Male


Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Constantine]
    #18754160 - 08/25/13 06:09 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I'm afraid that benzo's are by far the bigger contributing factor towards my situation, due to my chronic pain, opiates have become necessary and actually unsafe for me to w/d from now.


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
well oiled machine
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18754940 - 08/25/13 11:59 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

hey man, i'm currently going through a very painful loss myself. i know all you want to do is say 'fuck it', the world is cruel, NOTHING MATTERS. but that's not what your loved one would want. please don't be self destructive and do things you may regret.


--------------------


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Invisiblethizzlemaniac
राम राम
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/27/12
Posts: 2,240
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18755030 - 08/25/13 12:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Grandmas are always the nicest people and it sux when they pass.  I have on left, one who I never got to talk to much growing up cuz my mom didn't (still doesn't) like her (my dads mom).  It's a shame but we talk on the phone now all the time about gardening and she inspires me like none other.  She goes around helping people all the time and making things for them, like Jesus or something.  It's hard to feel negative emotions when I talk to her so I call when I'm pissed off or feeling down, and it's really great that we at least have that now.  I don't know what I'll see her next, but shes almost 67 and I'm afraid I might never get to again.

My other grandma was like the healthiest person ever and died from cancer :sad:


--------------------
Hi how are you? How high are you?



:aum:


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OfflineLed Zeppelin
Tripper


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 3,962
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Rustifer]
    #18756323 - 08/25/13 06:11 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rustifer said:
I'm afraid that benzo's are by far the bigger contributing factor towards my situation, due to my chronic pain, opiates have become necessary and actually unsafe for me to w/d from now.




im curious as to why you think the opiates are unsafe to withdrawal from? obviously benzos are unsafe to w/d from if your doing enough but opiate withdrawal wont kill ya, youll just wish you were


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Onlinelifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 16,712
Last seen: 30 seconds
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Led Zeppelin]
    #18756574 - 08/25/13 07:11 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Led Zeppelin said:
Quote:

Rustifer said:
I'm afraid that benzo's are by far the bigger contributing factor towards my situation, due to my chronic pain, opiates have become necessary and actually unsafe for me to w/d from now.




im curious as to why you think the opiates are unsafe to withdrawal from? obviously benzos are unsafe to w/d from if your doing enough but opiate withdrawal wont kill ya, youll just wish you were




:whathesaid:


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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InvisibleMagicman69
All About the Benjamins
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/29/13
Posts: 6,876
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #18756589 - 08/25/13 07:14 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Be strong brother..death is a part of life. It sucks, but we all must one day embrace it. So I try not to worry :smile:


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InvisibleKilgore Trout
Yachts on the reg

Registered: 07/09/12
Posts: 9,863
Loc: Metro City, USA
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18756632 - 08/25/13 07:21 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I'm very sorry for your loss, OP.

I was just over at my grandparent's house for a rib cookout last night, and my grandpa was acting strange. He was lying inside on the couch while all of his friends and family where outside having a good time. He said he thought he drank too much, but I should have known better. Before I left, I went in and talked with him about hunting this fall, and about my new job; he said he was proud of me and before I left, he gave me a hug and said "I love you very much, pal." like he always did.

I got a call from my aunt this morning telling me he died a few hours later of a massive heart-attack. :sad:

If you need to talk at all OP, I'm here for you.


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
Re: Found out my grandmother died today... [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #18756644 - 08/25/13 07:23 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Demonic_Chronic said:
Woke up to a bunch of missed calls, last night my dad told me they transferred her to a hospital in Louisville and she refused to be put on life support.( I would do the same)
Well this morning at around 9am she passed.. Now shes in the land of the DMT spirits, along with my cousin who died last year in a car accident. He was like my brother, we shared so much in common.
My grandmother was literally the nicest person I ever knew, she couldnt harm a fly. She had a heart of gold and would give anything to help someone out.
Been crying all day and all day yesterday..

Just bought a dip stick drug test to see If im clean from weed bc. I really wanna smoke a fucking bowl.. Have a probation meeting Thurs.
Called my P.O to see if I can reschedule till next thurs. because Ill be down in the most southern part of my state then Ill have to come back and do another 2 hour drive on thursday. Honestly at this point I dont care..
Im prescribed amphetamines and Benzos so they cant say anything about me testing positive for those two. I highly doubt they will throw me in jail for testing positive for weed, prolly just some extra drug classes.. I just need something to take this stress off and I have like 5% body fat. Im pretty good at passing drug tests, dipstick isnt that hard.

At this point I dont care, If they throw me in prison whatever I cant get through this sober and I dont want to eat a bunch of Kpins.

Fuck my life Shroomery...

DC





I feel you OP..my grandmother refused a PACEMAKER and died 4 months later. She was like my mom. It hurts me more than the death of my brother. I certainly know where you are coming from and ill throw some thoughts up to my higher essence for you brother.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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