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Anonymous #1

Friend has a drug problem.
    #18740788 - 08/22/13 03:07 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

How are you supposed to deal with it when your best friend becomes a heroin addict?

Not how I imagined my first post, but I just found out and I'm a wreck. I love this woman more than life itself. I would probably kill myself if she died. Its effed up I know but I've been through 8 deaths in the past 13 years. Yet I can't tell anyone cause she says she will hurt me "mentally and physically". I want to tell someone. I need to tell someone. I'm the only friend she's got, other than whatever **** got her addicted.

She is schizo affective, and on tons of pills. She's been in a psych ward before, 4 times. I could care less if she's in one for life if it keeps her alive.

I just went through this with my sister. She's 100 miles away in rehab at the moment (also for heroin, her 4th time) but she was best friends with this girl. In fact before my sister left for rehab my friend asked her for heroin. She was wasted so I never gave it a second thought. She used to have a lot of anger towards my sister for her addiction but has now fallen into one herself.

What do I do, tell her parents and end our friendship? Tell my parents? They cared for her when her own mother didn't.

She tells me she can stop, doesn't appear to want to. At least not from what I can see. Says shes not addicted, she'll only do it when she's out of her meds and weed. Trying it once or twice turned into doing it when she's out of her meds which turned into doing it 25 times this last month. She went through a phase 5 years ago, when i first met her, where she tried every drug she could get her hands on, and now she's doing it again.

What. The hell. Do I do?


Edited by Anonymous (08/22/13 04:06 AM)


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Anonymous #2

Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #18740931 - 08/22/13 05:11 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Nothing you can do but tell her your there to help her when she's ready to get the help she needs. It sucks, but she's made it clear she doesn't want help, and atm she's just pulling you down. And as for the **** who got her addicted, it sounds like it was mostly her own doing.


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18741395 - 08/22/13 09:34 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Well if you're trained medically, you could always kidnap them, lock em away and brute force em off of it. That's what I would do if someone with a large enough piece of my heart was addicted.

But then again, whose to say they won't just jump right back to it :shrug:

Life's one tough mistress.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #18743778 - 08/22/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah my family and relatives have tried that multiple times with my uncle, and then my sister, didn't work. It could work for my friend but as of yet I haven't said anything to anyone cause her parents would probably just kick her out. My parents might help her but my mother is so stressed out with my sister and her problems I don't think she could handle it at the moment.


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OfflineDudeyourgone
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18744711 - 08/22/13 10:20 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

no heroin addict can quit unless they want to. i am one and keep trying then relapsing. its a horrible vicious cycle. and she is still in denial about her addiction it sounds like shes not ready to quit. but hopefully im wrong


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Dudeyourgone]
    #18745632 - 08/23/13 04:31 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Start saving up and get her to some medicine.



You should believe her about being able to quit when she wants to, about as much as you would believe a smoker of 10+ years. Yes people do quit sometimes, but veeeeeeeeery few of them can do it on their own, even if they really do give it their best and try their hardest.

Get her to some proper medicine, IMO it's the best way to help.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Offlinezzripz
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Registered: 12/23/08
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18745685 - 08/23/13 05:06 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

This is a very complex problem and a real mindfuck as you will find out when I explain. All I can do is respond to your question by telling you what I have learned. What you do with this is up to you. But it involves you researching into it and then getting info to your friend. But at the end of the day, you cannot get her life together and give up ALL the drugs she is destroying her self with, it will be up to her. I know the agony of seeing someone you love self-destructing, but it is always up to the person. However you can try and give them the proper information:

What psychiatrists are telling their 'patients' is lies! This is not to say all of them are aware of this, but their ignore-ance does not make their 'diagnoses' of people any truer.

So for example, they will claim, like they most likely will have with your friend that she is chronically ill and will need ongoing medication. But there is absolutely no medical science to back this up. Now, I am not saying your friend hasn't gone through what she claims. But what the biopsychiatric model (the one that predominates and bullies all people in its 'care' that they are mentally ill and need their toxic pills etc) does is pathologizes natural responses to the diverse problems of living.

If your friend reads ask her to get this book, because it is a true story of the author being told she had mental illness which would need life-long medication. At first like many, she believes this authority, but story shows how she exposes and undermines this major evil scam--which has runied and continues to ruin SO many peoples lives--and comes completely off the toxic crap she was having to take! The Loony-Bin Trip, by Kate Millet

The crucial point is that if your friend could really understand that she is not a defective human being like the shrinks would have her believe, but rather a beautiful sensitive human being this would return a sparkle to her eyes, and encouragement to get off those psych. meds. Here is a source for how to do that:
Harm Reduction Guide To Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs & Withdrawal
(you may be met with disinterest etc, but keep all this info just in case, so if she changes her mind she can get it)

So that is the mental illness myth and its fukin drugs (what a SICK joke! This culture wages a so-called 'war on drugs' yet has its own drug pushers pushing their shit even onto younger and younger children!)

Now the opiates. Have you heard of the sacred African medicines called Iboga? This is a very powerful psychedelic plants that can help people to completely get off opiates!!! But from there they have to help themselves to stay off.

but the first thing is to feel good about yourself, and having a life of abuse and so-called 'supports' telling you your a defective machines that needs chemical is not good for that.


Edited by zzripz (08/23/13 11:25 AM)


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OfflineLuSiD enthusiast
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Registered: 03/14/13
Posts: 4,325
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: zzripz]
    #18745779 - 08/23/13 06:03 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Iboga won't do a thing if she doesn't want to quit. Just like any other method. She has to make the decision, all you can do is inform her and be there to help. Anything else against her will is just one more reason to use.


--------------------
I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed.
Not LSD, you can't get addicted to LSD, it was built by scientists.

I ain't got no demons that gonna get woke.


In erowid we trust.

Just take your damn pills and don't ask any questions, you'll be fine.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: LuSiD enthusiast]
    #18745868 - 08/23/13 06:57 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Oh and OP, if your friend has a drug problem, you may want to know that you too might have a "your friend" problem.

Quote:

She's been in a psych ward before, 4 times. I could care less if she's in one for life if it keeps her alive.



This is one majorly fucked up thing to say about anyone and anything. I don't see how this level of attachment could even be remotely healthy.

You know how on airplanes they advise you put your own oxygen mask on first, BEFORE worrying about others? This actually makes you a more effective helper of your fellow passengers / kids or whatever. Well in the same sense you may want to look at your unhealthy levels of vested interest, possibly dependence, with this particular friend, before attempting to help her with her addictions.

Learn to accept the fact that you DON'T control your friend's life. Deal with yourself, then deal with your friend.

Quote:

Iboga won't do a thing if she doesn't want to quit. Just like any other method.



True. What Iboga / Aya might do is put the friend in a self-reflective situation that would give her more freedom to decide to quit. Also Iboga allegedly offers real help with withdrawal symptoms, so again, offers real maneuver space to decide to quit, in a way that doesn't come together with a horrible withdrawal hell to go through.

Many smokers would be way more likely to quit, if nicotine had no withdrawal associated with quitting.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


Edited by Spacerific (08/23/13 07:03 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Spacerific]
    #18750065 - 08/24/13 02:57 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah I was in a mood... I wouldn't want that for her if possible but her family has explored before the option of a long term stay at a psych ward for her. I am a bit over attached but she's saved my life several times and has been my only close friend for quite some years.

I've looked into ibogaine treatment for her and my sister but its either way too expensive or too hard to come by. Both of our families are broke at the moment. Also seems pretty iffy if she does have a schizophrenia related illness.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18750545 - 08/24/13 08:39 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Yeah I was in a mood... I wouldn't want that for her if possible but her family has explored before the option of a long term stay at a psych ward for her. I am a bit over attached but she's saved my life several times and has been my only close friend for quite some years.

I've looked into ibogaine treatment for her and my sister but its either way too expensive or too hard to come by. Both of our families are broke at the moment. Also seems pretty iffy if she does have a schizophrenia related illness.



See the video I posted above. Ibogaine might be harder, Aya is much much safer. Depending on how you can get it, it might be super cheap or super expensive. At least look into it. For me it was some flying here in Europe and $30 at a Santo Daime church. 100% worth it :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Spacerific]
    #18752506 - 08/24/13 05:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah so I researched some more, asked her about it and explained everything and she's still not down for trying either one. Couldn't give me a straight reason why though. I'm assuming cause she doesn't want to quit. Is it possible to quit using just marijuana? She says when she's craving heroin she just smokes a hit or two of hash oil and a bowl of weed and the craving is gone. Says she's only been trying heroin for a month and I heard somewhere that the less time you've been on the stuff the better the chances of getting off of it...


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OfflineSpacerific
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Male

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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18752729 - 08/24/13 07:08 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Never heard about mj for help with addictions (but you could Google around you know).

What you can use is the awesome power of placebo. Tell her that yes, IT IS possible to quite using hash, definitely try toking instead of injecting.

If people quit using fantasy ideas like Jesus, definitely something that you can actually feel as it works on you, will work that much better. You don't have to believe that it will work, you can really FEEL that it works! :biggrin:

As for trying Aya, have you explained that it's actually good for you AND fun? It's the psychedelic experience of the year. Can you or her name that many things that are healthy AND fun? I don't think she doesn't want to quit, I think it's just fear of the unknown, she's probably thinking it's "more drugs", possibly to get addicted on. Has she even tried psychedelics before, in a good setting?

Tell her the idea is from a dude that drinks no alcohol, doesn't smoke tobacco, doesn't even smoke weed, eats no meat and doesn't even drink coffee (I prefer yerba mate, a green tea that's a slight stimulant). In terms of danger, the heroin she's done already is significantly more risky than all the Ayahuasca she could ever take.

Hmm then again I have no experience with schitzo issues, so you might research if there are any dangers there. I don't see how they could be any, since all human brains are perfectly well used to dealing with DMT each and every night while dreaming.


Edited by Spacerific (08/24/13 07:16 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Spacerific]
    #18753963 - 08/25/13 03:16 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Well I tried what you said but she countered with the statement that heroin and weed are better together, and then laughed. So then we argued and I said everything I had to say and all she had to say was that she had it under control and to not say shit. Right. She said she's been fascinated with it since she was 12, so I fear its a deep rooted addiction even if she hasn't actually done it long. Her alcohol and gambling addicted father left when she was young so that really fucked everything up

She's tried mushrooms before, their her favorite psychedelic. Never did it for spiritual reasons though, it was always just to "get fucked up". She said she's had many bad trips but she'd do them again at the drop of a hat, which tells me she probably hasnt done them in the right setting. She told me she hates trips that leave her with life questions.

The main problem seems to be her meds. She's on lithium, Prozac, klonopin, and an Adderall substitute. She's on the lowest possible dosage for klonopin, but has an addiction to it. She also used to be addicted to adderall. We were gonna try the 2 hits of supposed LSD that I got at hempfest but she doesn't want to stay off her meds long enough to try it. Same excuse with trying ayahuasca. I tried to stress that it was really safe but no luck. She also doesn't like the idea of vomiting during the trip

There's also the problem that we can't trip at her house or mine. Both our parents watch us like a hawk. I suggested maybe taking aya at a park or field, but she says she won't take drugs in public. So our only option is to wait till her parents go out of town for a few days, which may not happen for a while if at all.

She has been my trip sitter for the couple psychedelics I've tried so I may see if she'll trip sit me for aya, that's how she tried salvia.


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Offlinezzripz
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Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18754021 - 08/25/13 03:54 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

she will be full of toxins. And I am afraid if she does not see she has a big problem, which is dangerous, and she needs help, nothing anyone will say will tell her! She has to face a rock bottom.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: zzripz]
    #18754488 - 08/25/13 09:01 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Your friend sounds like the kind of person I would bail on in about 10 seconds, so congrats on sticking with it :lol:

You can't just "take ayahuasca in a field" first off because you won't be able to get or make any, at least not good quality one, and second because the actual ceremony that goes with it is incredibly important.

Anyway you've got your work cut out for you, and I think most of it is on yourself. You can't really force your need for your friend to be healthy, into your friend's head. It's her head. Her life to fuck up if she so desires. You as a friend may have some say in it, but that's absolutely 100% limited.

As Wesley Snipes says in Demolition Man, you can't take away people's right to being assholes :satansmoking:

I hope you realize that there are boundaries to what you can or cannot do in this situation, and have the wisdom to know the difference. Within your boundaries, what you do is helpful. Outside of them, it becomes spam, stupidity, clinging and annoyance. Talk to smokers about how they feel when non-smokers start moralizing and listing health risks :rolleyes:

I'm a nonsmoker, but we've all seen how much good that does.

I hope someone with more Heroin or addiction experience shows up on this thread with some pro advice. Until then, I think most of the suffering is on your end, not your friend's.

Dr. Paul (Dobransky, but you can just Google Dr. Paul) has a series on this, psychological boundaries and how they work, and one of his examples is specifically on a girl who does drugs. It's called Mind OS, see if you can your hands on it.

Best wishes, hope everything turns out well.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Spacerific]
    #18755139 - 08/25/13 01:12 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah I'm starting to drive myself crazy over it, probably affecting my mental health more than hers. I probably just sound like a broken record. Believe me I wish I wasn't so attached. I'd just tell her parents or someone and remove myself from the situation. But... I feel like I'm too invested in the friendship to just walk away. I've just recently started looking into buddhism as a way to be less attached to people and things in general so maybe I'll find something there.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18755393 - 08/25/13 02:32 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Have some Alan Watts, it helps :heart:



--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Anonymous #1

Re: Friend has a drug problem. [Re: Spacerific]
    #18756401 - 08/25/13 06:30 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Good news... my sister just ratted my friend out for doing heroin. Told my father they both got some from the same dealer. Takes some of the stress off my mind now that somebody knows and I didn't have to be the one to say anything. She's not texting me back so either she's too angry to text or more likely her parents found out and took her phone. I'm a little worried that they'll just kick her out though... but hopefully they get her the help she needs.


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