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OfflineSpacerific
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Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying?
    #18748194 - 08/23/13 05:26 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

So 5 days ago I started noticing I spent way, way too much time indoors alone, and things started getting real depressive, real fast.

Decided to really go for it and make a change, spend time outside, meet new people, be active. Which I did. Out of the blue this 18yo chick approached me with some rollerskating question (I was on skates, she was learning) and we sort of hit it off. Spent the evening together chilling, then met the next evening and I was pleased with how things were progressing. Good response from her all around, chill and fun times, a lot of skin contact to break the ice. Next day I said I'm not going out as I have a slight fever and have some stuff to do, but I definitely would like to see her, and we'll meet the next day. Next day the vibe was a bit weird on her end, she just shook her head when I wanted to give her an awesome welcome hug, and the whole evening was weird, for some unclear unspecified reason.

I said all right, I'm going about my business as this isn't working for me, and we'll talk some other day. She asked me to please stay, talk etc. Which I did, reluctantly, in a totally non-wuss manner. So up to there it was all legit. Told me she has these feelings for me that kind of surprised her, butterflies in her stomach etc (she never had a bf before) and she's confused because she wasn't expecting them, whatever. This totally was not congruent with the fact that when I wanted to kiss her later, she was practically unkissable. Like wtf? Everything went to complete crap before the evening was over, and as far as I'm concerned this girl is now unsalvageable. It's all FUBAR. My thought process about her got really messed up, the math of the whole interaction doesn't work any more, I don't see any way to make this one work properly. So this would be a pretty clear fail on my part I guess. Not sure if the girl was even datable to begin with (18 yo virgin, no previous bf, probably a world of stress, blue balls and masturbation for whoever starts climbing that mountain :lol:).

Today when I finally processed that she's gone from my radar and I now need a new victim, I felt completely like crap all day long. I think I put too many eggs in one basket way too fast, not giving her enough hoops to jump through, to make sure she meets my preferences or is even functional enough to trust with anything.

This is what I needed some feedback about. It's a good thing I got out there and tried some stuff, right? I mean the loser solution is to be secluded indoors not even trying. Right? I know that's what the theory says, just emotionally I don't feel it like that at the moment. Hoping this emotional crap will blow over in a day or two, as the whole city seems to be teaming with jailbait this summer :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Spacerific] * 1
    #18748201 - 08/23/13 05:28 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

live and learn

doesn't kill you only makes you..... wiser (sometimes)


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Sheekle]
    #18748216 - 08/23/13 05:34 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, plan to get out again tomorrow, start the whole thing all over again. I definitely need some fresh friends, more social contact, not to mention some vitamin D from the sun  :sunny:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Offlinekoods
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Spacerific]
    #18748381 - 08/23/13 06:23 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Well, at least it only takes you a few days to realize something is unsalvageable.

Dealing with other people isn't worth it. You should just be content that you only have deal with yourself.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleCounterCulturest
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Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 3,662
Loc: Nesting on modems
Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: koods]
    #18748717 - 08/23/13 07:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Your odds are certainly higher getting a date being outdoors and socializing with girls than it is indoors all by yourself. I can guarantee that.

I remember reading some story on here about so and so who took this approach. He would appraoch X amount of girls a day and basically just straight up ask them out by the end of the conversation and he made up some funny math equation based on his past experiences with asking girls out and said that if he asked X amount of girls out, probability says that X amount will say yes. So he asked out like 20 girls a week and wound up with a guaranteed 2 dates a week. It was entertaining but apparently it worked :lol: makes sense to me. Maybe give this a shot.

You any good on those roller blades ?


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: koods]
    #18748722 - 08/23/13 07:53 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Dealing with other people isn't worth it.



You should find better people to add into your life


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleCounterCulturest
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: CounterCulturest]
    #18748756 - 08/23/13 08:01 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

How often do you get out exactly, OP ? Do you do psychedelics ?


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Offlinekoods
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Sheekle]
    #18748793 - 08/23/13 08:09 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

koods said:
Dealing with other people isn't worth it.



You should find better people to add into your life



You're all fatally flawed.

I'm just joking around to deal with some butthurt


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


Edited by koods (08/23/13 09:10 PM)


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OfflineReginaldPMcpoop
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Registered: 06/30/13
Posts: 645
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Spacerific]
    #18748867 - 08/23/13 08:25 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

My interaction with potential friends is like a Lennard-Jones Potential. At first I seem to attract people when they don't know me very well. Then we get somewhat close and my repulsive nature repels them. Then they sit at a distance in a familiarity well: not close enough to really be friends, but not far enough away to ignore them in the hallway which only leads to stumbling and awkward conversations.

Maybe if I was more polarized personality wise I would attract or repel people more strongly and I would therefore have a better idea of who should be my friend and who should stay my stranger.



--------------------
:bananadance:


Edited by ReginaldPMcpoop (08/23/13 08:28 PM)


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: CounterCulturest]
    #18748938 - 08/23/13 08:42 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

CounterCulturest said:
Your odds are certainly higher getting a date being outdoors and socializing with girls than it is indoors all by yourself. I can guarantee that.

I remember reading some story on here about so and so who took this approach. He would appraoch X amount of girls a day and basically just straight up ask them out by the end of the conversation and he made up some funny math equation based on his past experiences with asking girls out and said that if he asked X amount of girls out, probability says that X amount will say yes. So he asked out like 20 girls a week and wound up with a guaranteed 2 dates a week. It was entertaining but apparently it worked :lol: makes sense to me. Maybe give this a shot.

You any good on those roller blades ?



I haven't planned it quite like that, with the number of mandatory convos a day, though I know of this approach, since I did delve into some PUA materials over the years. That's how I came to actively force myself to hang out in public spaces, even though I may not feel like it. Straight up being there will make some things happen sooner or later.

With the skates I'm decent I'd say, been skating a few years now. I have a pair of K2 Frontman, that in theory I could use to jump off things, but I've seen enough youtube fail videos to know not to :lol: A few slalom tricks and knowing how to do double push is about all I need for my leisure time.

Quote:

CounterCulturest said:
How often do you get out exactly, OP ? Do you do psychedelics ?



Well not often enough, that's for sure. I fancy myself a painter, or at least student of the arts, but for months (years?) now, all manner of doubts about my skills and direction of my art have been plaguing my thoughts. Gone are the days of art school, when teachers would say "do this" and we'd all happily compete to make a good rendering in the allotted time, or I'd make cheerful youtube videos about it. Without a nice context surrounded with fellow artists, I am certainly not thriving. Not liking my art leads to lower self esteem, to which my natural response is to isolate indoors. Hence the problem.

I do psychedelics, when I am out at psy festivals I feel like a full human being again, but here in this particular town, back living with my mom in this house at the edge of it, where every human contact requires 15 minutes by car, it's easy to get thrown off track. I drive this car that was given to me, I feel that I haven't earned it, and I know of no other psychedelics users here. Had a nice online business last year, one that I made myself from the ground up (not art related) but once it was up and running well and became routine, I just bailed on it, hence this crappy living situation until I find something to pay the bills again.

I have no problems painting outdoors in the city when I have good ideas, usually convos spring up that way without me even doing anything, but alas with my current art issues, that's become a huge challenge to accomplish. The last painting that I didn't feel like setting on fire was this one:



Problem is that it was made 8 months ago. Nothing good since.

The current project is to prep some psy paintings and psy t-shirts with UV paint, for this goa party in september. So far I got the UV textile paints, and wasted 5 days with this girl.

Writing this all down, my feeling is that I should find a balance, outdoors to meet people and generally have enough input for ideas etc, and then some focused, determined hours in the studio, to get these ideas down on canvas, textiles, whatever. Feel like complete crap at the moment, popping a melatonin pill and hitting the sheets. Hoping for a fly day tomorrow.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Offlinekoods
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: ReginaldPMcpoop]
    #18749000 - 08/23/13 08:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

ReginaldPMcpoop said:
My interaction with potential friends is like a Lennard-Jones Potential. At first I seem to attract people when they don't know me very well. Then we get somewhat close and my repulsive nature repels them. Then they sit at a distance in a familiarity well: not close enough to really be friends, but not far enough away to ignore them in the hallway which only leads to stumbling and awkward conversations.

Maybe if I was more polarized personality wise I would attract or repel people more strongly and I would therefore have a better idea of who should be my friend and who should stay my stranger.






I know exactly what you mean, however, maybe part of your problem is you describe your friends with a mathematical formula.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OfflineBlack_Sunset
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: koods]
    #18749378 - 08/23/13 10:29 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Sorry, maybe I'm lost. What was wrong with her? She just has issues that were holding her back. She wanted you and she wants a bf and to experience all that and was just shy because she has never done that - it's terrifying for some people!!! Then you just get weirded out and bail? Fuck that sucks for her she is probably not going to recover from that one for a while. GG


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Black_Sunset]
    #18749408 - 08/23/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Black_Sunset said:
Sorry, maybe I'm lost. What was wrong with her? She just has issues that were holding her back. She wanted you and she wants a bf and to experience all that and was just shy because she has never done that - it's terrifying for some people!!! Then you just get weirded out and bail? Fuck that sucks for her she is probably not going to recover from that one for a while. GG



lol these thoughts passed my head briefly as well


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Sheekle]
    #18750515 - 08/24/13 08:31 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

No I didn't bail on her, in fact I think I did my part quite right. A lot of skin contact in non-perv areas, chill stories, hanging out, playing with her huge immense dog that was always around and providing entertainment, dirt and drool over everything, what have you. Throughout this I had the feeling that yes, this is a girl that needs to be handled more slowly and patiently, which I was fully prepared to do.

Since she told me she has weird butterfly feelings and other girl crap, that's my cue that I was doing some things right. And also that I could move in for a kiss that evening, which after 3 long evenings together doesn't strike me as moving too fast. I built that comfort level for 3 days, this is not the Middle Ages to need 3 months or years.

To this I received more resistance, and frankly this is getting ridiculous. This is summer, time to play, be joyous and fresh and in full bloom, hug and dance and rollerskate together in the parks, picnic on the grass, not be masochistic with stuck up ... whatever the hell she is. The only thing I can think of that I didn't do, to send my point across, is have her give me a nice friendly massage or two, to point out how I like to interact with humans. I like skin contact. I like being SHOWN if I'm doing things right, not fucking told verbally. If I wanted to hear things verbally I could have Ivona tell me whatever I want :lol:

So all in all it's OK, I get how I didn't know any of this stuff (tactile vs verbal for instance) when I was her age, I get how it may have been on me to lead the interaction more clearly, at this point I'm just annoyed with this ungrateful brat. There's a limit to how many bitch shields, female tests and resistance I'm prepared to overcome, there are healthy levels for that, and then there's just plain old being stupid and wasting time. The one thing that provides me some satisfaction now is knowing that this girl will be unsatisfied and alone for a loooooooooong time as far as boys go. The only suckers stupid / wuss enough to stand for this kind of crap for long enough, will be impossible to respect later, once in a relationship. There seems to be a solid reason why this girl lasted for 18 years without a boyfriend.

But I digress. It's Saturday, sunny, I need to be out there finding some quality girls to have a connection with.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Spacerific]
    #18751125 - 08/24/13 11:34 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
The one thing that provides me some satisfaction now is knowing that this girl will be unsatisfied and alone for a loooooooooong time as far as boys go.



:girlofdisapproval:


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinekoods
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Sheekle] * 1
    #18751928 - 08/24/13 02:59 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

You sound crazy impatient, OP.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: koods]
    #18752178 - 08/24/13 04:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I don't think I'm impatient, more like I don't tolerate mixed signals too much. If I need to be patient, I'll be patient. I just need consistent signals in that direction, which is definitely not what I got. Maybe in girl language it's OK to tell a guy you have feelings for him, repeatedly, and then that no, it's not ok to kiss and let's just be friends, in my language it isn't.

Anyway, that deal went sour, so moving on.

Today I got out, scouted out some nice areas of that park where I could go paint / make custom t-shirts / make some UV bracelets, then I chatted up these girls regarding the fact that I need a girl hand to know how long I should make this bracelet I was working on. Spent some time talking to them as I was finishing the bracelet, then I mentioned I have these textile paint markers and one of them offered her sneakers as a canvas to try things out. I needed to break the ice with these things anyway so I went for it. Turned them to hippie flower power psychedelic sneakers :lol:

Nothing will come of it, that wasn't really the point, main thing is they've certainly taken my mind off Miss Difficult for a change. Which is good, my thought process was getting way out of control regarding her, complete with anger, rage, sadistic rape and murder fantasies and things that are obviously out of proportion. Emotions can be really strange sometimes :shrug:

Same plan tomorrow - get out, just be out there doing creative things, as opposed to being alone indoors.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineKGB Is Go
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: koods]
    #18752277 - 08/24/13 04:32 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Poor girl. Good on her for being true to her feelings and not doing what she didn't feel comfortable with. Hope she's not too affected by the experience.

Quote:

koods said:
You sound crazy impatient, OP.



Yeah, and kind of immature, selfish and sexist, to be frank. Like a bit of a douche.

Your confidence is admirable and good on you for getting out there, but it sounds as though your playing it like a game, and essentially trying to use the women and treating them like objects. Your posts suggest you don't have much respect for women or their emotions. I don't know what kind of 'quality' girls you're going to 'connect' with with that attitude.

Your post in Clara's thread about the ibogaine after her brother just died were pretty insensitive too. I don't mean to be an arsehole here or lecture you, but you might want to take a look at this issue if you want to really connect with people and have genuine relationships...


--------------------
"The guy went axe-happy on a trout farm, he killed 60 fish."


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: KGB Is Go]
    #18752468 - 08/24/13 05:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

KGB Is Go said:
Poor girl. Good on her for being true to her feelings and not doing what she didn't feel comfortable with. Hope she's not too affected by the experience.

Quote:

koods said:
You sound crazy impatient, OP.



Yeah, and kind of immature, selfish and sexist, to be frank. Like a bit of a douche.

Your confidence is admirable and good on you for getting out there, but it sounds as though your playing it like a game, and essentially trying to use the women and treating them like objects. Your posts suggest you don't have much respect for women or their emotions. I don't know what kind of 'quality' girls you're going to 'connect' with with that attitude.

Your post in Clara's thread about the ibogaine after her brother just died were pretty insensitive too. I don't mean to be an arsehole here or lecture you, but you might want to take a look at this issue if you want to really connect with people and have genuine relationships...



I read you about the Ibogaine, probably should have kept my mouth shut on that one, just keep on browsing. I still find it impossible to relate to people who don't try these solutions (ibogaine, aya) for alcoholism or heroin, but yeah, should have kept it to myself that time.

Poor girl? How exactly is this a "poor girl" situation? I liked the girl. I consistently showed up and gave it my best shot. In return I got massively mixed signals, contradictory responses of all sorts. I don't like you, fuck off - that I can understand and is perfectly fine. Let's just be friends, that I can understand as well. I'll move on and try my luck elsewhere, perfectly fine. I have feelings for you let's just be friends, that to me is contradictory. The kind of contradictory I can't really make sense of. 18 isn't 5. One should IMO be able to present some sort of coherent feedback to the world, about what one is feeling, if anything. Anyway after that interaction I found out what I needed to know, namely that I don't really vibe well with that girl, the stress/fun ratio is completely crap there.

My plan is to simply get out there, find any sort of female person that I like to spend time with, and who likes spending time with me. It should be a positive experience most of the time, on both sides, or otherwise stress and frustration I can find by myself just fine. I don't get how this is sexist and selfish :shrug:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineKGB Is Go
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Re: Better to try and fail, or stay indoors not even trying? [Re: Spacerific]
    #18752906 - 08/24/13 08:00 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Sorry, mate. We have different expectations and ways of dealing with people, I guess. It just seemed rude to me to expect her to give in to your desires so quickly, and for you to refer to her as "Miss Difficult" and "ungrateful brat" etc. and to her emotions as 'girl crap'. Also your aggressive thoughts toward her seem way over the top for a girl you've just met.

I get bugged by some guys' attitude toward women whereby they have certain expectations on what they will receive from a girl and if these expectations aren't met, the guy become cruel toward her. This seems very selfish to me. I thought I was picking up that vibe from what you'd written. Having (what seems to me) minimal respect for her emotions, using the term 'girl crap' seemed sexist to me, though perhaps it isn't quite that.


--------------------
"The guy went axe-happy on a trout farm, he killed 60 fish."


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