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stevemartin23
Stranger
Registered: 08/23/13
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Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Searching for understanding of my visuals
#18745331 - 08/23/13 01:29 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have recently been undergoing some drastic changes in my visualizations in my minds eye and I was hoping to share them with others in hope that someone can resonate with my experiences
A couple years ago I was convinced I couldn't visualize anything. I would close my eyes, nothing but blackness.
The realization of this was rather scary, I could remember visualizing when I was younger but I had no idea when this blackness began. I have a few memories of being younger and getting frustrated with my mind creating different stories than I was trying to visualize, and I have a theory that this lack of control caused me to suppress my visual skills.
Recently I have been practicing my visualizations. Over the past year I have made some major improvements. I have a much better ability to visualize objects and places, although almost always the images must be in motion and in third point perspective. I have no ability to create static images. Everything is constantly changing and moving.
Even as I have developed this, it is always a struggle and an effort for me to visualize real things. It just feels forced and unnatural.
However, since the very first days of regaining my ability to visualize, what comes to me naturally and easily is pretty unique.
Without any effort or pre-thought, If I am relaxed and in a mood where the creative portion of my brain is flowing, my third eye effortlessly creates vast landscapes of complex geometry and throngs of colors. The images are always moving and flowing, as is the perspective of the images. Nothing is stationary, but there is always some type of harmonious balance between the motion of the colors.
This also often leads to vast landscapes of interlocked objects of various shape and relation. They are also constantly moving and oscillating with one another.
I struggle so hard to visualize a stationary red square but my minds eye has a never ending well of harmonious fluidly moving vast landscapes of oscillating colors, what I am beginning to believe, is forms of energy.
Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone ever heard of anything like this? Could anyone point me in the direction of possibly a better site to discuss this with people?
I wish I could describe the ever changing ever infinite beauty my mind creates.
I am really searching for someone to discuss this with. I am currently on break from college at home and my supply of individuals whom I can discuss topics such as these is low enough for me to being searching for forums.
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Psychotria
Acaciagrapher



Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 532
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: stevemartin23]
#18745401 - 08/23/13 02:08 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hmmm i can see a lot of energy flowing but this has only started happening 2 months ago from psych abuse, basically how your saying visualizing i can do that randomly thinking of one word constantly saying it in my head what happens is whatever the word i was thinking of will become a fade in for a few seconds and fade away, for example if i keep saying tomatoe in my mind it visualizes a tomatoe not some plain tomatoe but usually cartoony or doing something it's wierd (the visualizing only happens before sleep, i believe it is something to do with my alpha state) With the energy i was saying basically i see what a camera sees a lot of tiny tiny specs everywhere and i see some sort of glowing object floating and moving sometimes but barely.
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stevemartin23
Stranger
Registered: 08/23/13
Posts: 2
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: Psychotria]
#18745465 - 08/23/13 02:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thats really interesting that you used the word cartoony. Many real world images I try to visualize end up cartoony in my mind as well. Often the image is kind of small and far away too
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: stevemartin23] 1
#18745497 - 08/23/13 03:03 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think you are in a great place "shut-eye" visually speaking. Honest reporting of visual flux, after images, and oceanic cerebral activity.
you have found your visual cortex, as it is.
it sounds like you are now hunting for a visionary cortical experience, and although it can be in the visual cortex, you will find it in frontal cortex first. and it is best for everyone if it stays there, since when it moves to the visual cortex, and it certainly can, then it is delirium, which is often out of hand, and what you are seeking is more in control.
more mind, and less eye.
yet still visionary.
so I am going to ask you a question or two while you are still looking at this screen, about an elephant (please answer quickly and don't think about it):
what color is the elephant, is it side view, facing you or walking away? is it carrying something?
what environment is it in?
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lolwut
bad motherfucker


Registered: 08/14/10
Posts: 2,782
Loc: back in black
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: redgreenvines]
#18745666 - 08/23/13 04:55 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: I think you are in a great place "shut-eye" visually speaking. Honest reporting of visual flux, after images, and oceanic cerebral activity.
you have found your visual cortex, as it is.
it sounds like you are now hunting for a visionary cortical experience, and although it can be in the visual cortex, you will find it in frontal cortex first. and it is best for everyone if it stays there, since when it moves to the visual cortex, and it certainly can, then it is delirium, which is often out of hand, and what you are seeking is more in control.
more mind, and less eye.
yet still visionary.
so I am going to ask you a question or two while you are still looking at this screen, about an elephant (please answer quickly and don't think about it):
what color is the elephant, is it side view, facing you or walking away? is it carrying something?
what environment is it in?
Pink elephant walking to the right, carrying nothing, environment kind of just in front of me but not transposed onto reality, instead it's in my "mind's eye"
I'd be interested in hearing about the front and visual cortex stuff, since I had some psychosis come my way I've noticed a definite change in the way I process my imagination and often memories - instead of being clear cut and focused they show more "interference" (in the same way as like moving a TV antenna sort of), and instead of having clearly defined boundaries inside my mind as in "yea that happened x years ago at y place" sometimes they are a bit iffy - "i think that was....wait that wasn't anything that was just visual noise resembling a scene of whatever"
Wondering if this is what you're talking about, I haven't had a name for it aside from "remnant psychosis (referring to hallucinations)" and it is getting better day to day.
-------------------- Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth, and taste...
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BlueCoyote
Beyond


Registered: 05/07/04
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Loc: Between
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: stevemartin23]
#18746485 - 08/23/13 10:05 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yes, the visuals represent your thought process, as rgv correctly said, projected onto your visual cortex. I guess one's thoughts are in a flowing state quite naturally, that's why meditation can be, and often traditionally is about getting a catch on one's thought process, so one can better be in control about it. You're on the exactly right way by trying to visualize something static, so you can see the influences of your fluid mind, one can have control over
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: BlueCoyote]
#18749274 - 08/23/13 10:03 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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i think this pink elephant is in frontal cortex entirely coexisting with some visual cortex feed
visual cortex has memory and association, and when you are raging along in hallucination, a good part of the unusual activity is there, while copies of it do go to frontal which is where the attention is at and where most people are logged on, i.e. usually - mostly not paying attention to the sensory now, but to what ever percolates into you attention from senses and memory.
the strongest signals flood out the rest in the frontal cortex for the most part. - the most habituated or repeated - the most expected...
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: redgreenvines]
#18749920 - 08/24/13 01:38 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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my elephant was in battle armor in birds eye view mounted by a transdimensional being with elven ears, fangs, and tail, in a twisting ethereal dimension of undulating green nether which connects worlds...
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: CosmicJoke]
#18750232 - 08/24/13 05:19 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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video gamer stoner philosopher type - I think!
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: redgreenvines]
#18751493 - 08/24/13 01:10 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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moi?
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: CosmicJoke]
#18755098 - 08/25/13 12:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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toi?
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Re: Searching for understanding of my visuals [Re: stevemartin23]
#18777354 - 08/30/13 01:33 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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"For a half hour we waited in silence. Allan felt cold and wrapped himself in a blanket. A few minutes later he leaned over and whispered, "Gordon, I am seeing things!" I told him not to worry, I was too. The visions had started. They reached a plateau of intensity deep in the night, and they continued at that level until about 4 o'clock. We felt slightly unsteady on our feet and in the beginning were nauseated. We lay down on the mat that had been spread for us, but no one had any wish to sleep except the children, to whom mushrooms are not served. We were never more wide awake, and the visions came whether our eyes were opened or closed. They emerged from the center of the field of vision, opening up as they came, now rushing, now slowly, at the pace that our will chose. They were in vivid color, always harmonious. They began with art motifs, angular such as might decorate carpets or textiles or wallpaper or the drawing board of an architect. Then they evolved into palaces with courts, arcades, gardens--resplendent palaces all laid over with semiprecious stones. Then I saw a mythological beast drawing a regal chariot. Later it was though the walls of our house had dissolved, and my spirit had flown forth, and I was suspended in mid-air viewing landscapes of mountains, with camel caravans advancing slowly across the slopes, the mountains rising tier above tier to the very heavens. Three days latter, when I repeated the same experience in the same room with the same curanderas, instead of mountains I saw river estuaries, pellucid water flowing through an endless expanse of reeds down to a measureless sea, all by the pastel light of a horizontal sun. This time a human figure appeared, a woman in primitive costume, standing and staring across the water, enigmatic, beautiful, like a sculpture except that she breathed and was wearing woven colored garments. It seemed as though I was viewing a world of which I was not a part and with which I could not hope to establish contact. There I was, poised in space, a disembodied eye, invisible, incorporeal, seeing but not seen.
The visions were not blurred or uncertain. They were sharply focused, the lines and colors being so sharp that they seemed more real to me than anything I had ever seen with my own eyes. I felt that I was now seeing plain, whereas ordinary vision gives us an imperfect view; I was seeing the archetypes, the Platonic ideas, that underlie the imperfect images of everyday life. The thought crossed my mind: could the divine mushrooms be the secret that lay behind the ancient Mysteries? Could the miraculous mobility that I was now enjoying be the explanation for the flying witches that played so important a part in the folklore and fairy tales of northern Europe? These reflections passed through my mind at the very time that I was seeing the visions, for the effect of the mushrooms is to bring about a fission of the spirit, a split in the person, a kind of schizophrenia, with the rational side continuing to reason and to observe the sensations that the other side is enjoying. The mind is attached as by an elastic cord to the vagrant senses."
http://www.imaginaria.org/wasson/life.htm
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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pure poetry - "and that is not a bad thing"
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