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claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine



Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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My brother passed away this morning
#18738262 - 08/21/13 03:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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hey guys, i'm still in a state of shock right now but my brother passed away late last night/ this morning. i've alluded to his heroin problem here and there on the site when the topic comes up. he was my best friend, i wish i could tell him how much i love him.
he'd been struggling with addiction for several years. over the past year he seemed to get better, he was more active, booking and playing lots of gigs, and our relationship was almost back to normal. i was always suspicious about whether or not he'd been using again though, i know quitting heroin isn't so black and white.. turns out, he was using. . the EMT said this is the third heroin death recently in the area and it's because someone is dealing BAD SHIT. this shouldn't have happened. maybe heroin would have finally go the best of him eventually anyway. but i just can't believe this is real
i just felt the need to tell all my friends here. i love you guys.
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azinuamid


Registered: 08/21/13
Posts: 9
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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I don`t consider myself a friend of yours, since i am new here..but I wanted to give you a big hug i am really sorry for your loss:( i can't imagine what you are going through:(.......be strong!
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: azinuamid]
#18738522 - 08/21/13 04:42 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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so incredibly sorry to hear about your loss clara. it's the drug that keeps on taking. nothing much we can say to help you here, but we love you.


Good luck on the painful road ahead.
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VivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(



Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland
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I'm sorry, clara 
If you ever need someone to talk to or ramble about anything, PM me.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Geeze, that's tough. I've lost both my parents so I know how bad it can be losing a close family member. My condolences.
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happymealplease
Stranger

Registered: 07/14/11
Posts: 535
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: Le_Canard]
#18739888 - 08/21/13 09:24 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's shit. Hang in there.
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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sorry to hear for your loss. I lost my father to alcohol related complications a few years back, and I can tell you, he knows you love him.
It gets easier 
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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urbannerd
W.TheMushroomTip



Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 997
Loc: California
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
#18739956 - 08/21/13 09:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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man thats horrible, so sorry to hear about this.
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Soaking in the energy of the universe since '91
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Spacerific
- - - >


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: urbannerd]
#18740236 - 08/21/13 10:55 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
he'd been struggling with addiction for several years.
Technical question - did you guys get proper Ibogaine treatment and it didn't work for him, or nobody bothered with Ibogaine in the first place?
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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tedthekid
Stranger


Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 452
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: Spacerific]
#18740527 - 08/22/13 12:37 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm really sorry to hear about this... One of my best buddies and roommate ODed in our house a few months ago on heroin. It was really fucked up and took me along time to come to terms with it. He was a good kid, but that drug latches on to peoples' psyches and drags them down inch by inch. Fuck that drug...
I know that shock that you're going through. When I first heard about my buddy, I was driving home from work... My other roommate left me a voicemail and when I heard those words, I went into some sort of out of body experience.. It was like I was floating outside of my car, looking down at me driving, and then I'd cross back over into my body, where everything seemed surreal and hazy.
It's gonna hurt for a while. I dunno if you're looking for advice here, but here's a few things that helped me: Keep care of yourself, and put yourself around people you love, or spend sometime alone if you need. Give it time, too. Much love, and RIP to your bro
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Soularize
slanted and enchanted


Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 1,178
Loc: United States
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: Spacerific] 3
#18740838 - 08/22/13 03:43 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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dude, enough with the Ibogaine. Someone just lost a family member and you wanna get on their case about not taking your advice to try some psychoactive substance??? In a word, insensitive.
to the OP, I am really sorry to hear this news. I hope that you're able to be at peace (as much as is possible). and reflect on all the positive memories you have of your brother.
-------------------- "All but one man died. There at Bitter Creek. And they say he ran awayyy." - A little show called Branded
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ActiasLuna
Day Tripper



Registered: 07/16/13
Posts: 105
Loc: off grid
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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im sure he knows you love him, always remember the good times
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woaronun
symbiont

Registered: 05/30/13
Posts: 534
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 2 days, 19 hours
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
#18740944 - 08/22/13 05:17 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't know you, but still I'm sorry to hear about your loss and wish you strength.
-------------------- ~notice your next breath~
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iarphairc
Stranger Danger



Registered: 06/26/09
Posts: 400
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: Soularize]
#18741005 - 08/22/13 06:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Soularize said: dude, enough with the Ibogaine. Someone just lost a family member and you wanna get on their case about not taking your advice to try some psychoactive substance??? In a word, insensitive.
That was exactly my thought
-------------------- The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant- Maximilien Robespierre
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JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
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Sorry for your loss. Best of luck in coping.
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claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine



Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
#18741561 - 08/22/13 10:04 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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thanks guys. advice is always welcome. i've never dealt with death before (besides my grandpa when i was too young to understand) and it just shouldn't be this way. it's supposed to be me and my brothers through it all. i'm sure someday i'll be able to find strength but for now all i can do is cry and want my brother.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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It's best to get the all the grief out instead of holding it in, so have a good cry or two. It does get better, with time.
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JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
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Everybody has a period of grief and that's perfectly natural. But when the tears run out look back on the good times and hold those closest to your heart.
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart



Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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Clara, I know the feeling. My wife's sister passed away Sunday. We were good friends. Her cause of death was acute alcohol poisoning. Yours and mine are both are in a better place(what ever, where ever that is). Their pain is gone. Get with his/your family and friends what ever. A death hurts a lot of people, but some times it heals things. My condolences... . . .
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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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qman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 1 day, 21 hours
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: vinsue]
#18742835 - 08/22/13 02:53 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sorry for your loss, how old was your brother?
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deCypher



Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: qman]
#18743117 - 08/22/13 04:04 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm so sorry to hear this. Hope you are able to accept his death with as much grace and as little suffering as possible.  
Clara, by "bad shit" do you mean it was cut with something excessively poisonous, or just that it was extremely pure? How long ago was his most recent relapse, do you think?
-------------------- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
 
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claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine



Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: deCypher]
#18743236 - 08/22/13 04:30 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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i'm thinking it was cut with something poisonous but i don't really have all the details yet. over the past month i kind of suspected he was using again.
he was 26. 2 years older than me.
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Masked
The Nutter



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Quote:
claraclairvoyant said: thanks guys. advice is always welcome. i've never dealt with death before (besides my grandpa when i was too young to understand) and it just shouldn't be this way. it's supposed to be me and my brothers through it all. i'm sure someday i'll be able to find strength but for now all i can do is cry and want my brother.

I'm so sorry clara.
I can't even imagine. The best advice is to hold onto what family you do have and spend time with them. Spending lots of time with close friends and family is very helpful through the grief stage. Don't lock yourself away and become isolated from people. Reach out, talk, laugh, cry, repeat as much as necessary.
It just takes times. The thought of him will always be with you, but years from now you won't be crippled by such thoughts. Right now it's normally to be hurting so much. There's not much more advice then that unfortunately. I'm so sorry this happened.
I need to spend some time with my only sister. We aren't very close
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Sham87
mashAllah


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 9,816
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I'm sorry for your loss, we may not really talk on these boards but I wish you and your family the best.
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   ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right...
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balanced
Hakuna Matata



Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 56
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: My brother passed away this morning [Re: Sham87]
#18744434 - 08/22/13 09:04 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm incredibly sorry for your loss.
Like others have said, letting the grief flow is a good thing. The more you accept how you feel about it, the easier it will be to make peace with the reality of the situation. It will help you appreciate his memory in a positive way.
I'm sure it doesn't need to be said, but it's going to be tough. There will be days where it consumes your thoughts. There will be many, many times where you'll come across something small that reminds you of him, and it will be like a slap to the face.
It's cliché, but time heals all wounds. However this will leave one badass mother fucking scar. Let his memory inspire you to be the person you want to be. You never know when your life may end.
You have my condolences, and my messages are always open if you need to let emotions out or just want someone to talk to.
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If I have seen a little further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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I'm so sorry for your loss clara. Hang in there, and lean on anyone/everyone you can.
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