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OfflineShamenWarrior
The one within
Male


Registered: 08/30/11
Posts: 165
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
why can't i pee with my pennis?
    #18737022 - 08/21/13 11:30 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

So. I'm trying to detox my urine for the. ua today . but for some reason all the water i consume is comming out of my ass...  :confused: this isn't going to wor if i can't piss... i might be taking a vacation to a cage soon.


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InvisibleDr. Crapsghetti
Peer Educator
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Registered: 07/16/13
Posts: 602
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: ShamenWarrior]
    #18737119 - 08/21/13 11:56 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I made casserole last night and I'm pretty sure I gave myself food poisoning because I can not stop spewing watery shit from outside of my asshole. I suck at cooking. I never should have tried.


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Offlinegeckomage
The Magical Gecko
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Registered: 06/24/12
Posts: 51
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: Dr. Crapsghetti]
    #18738791 - 08/21/13 05:31 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

you obviously have something in your body that your body does not want there. Normally. when you drink fluids. it's filtered through your kidneys to remove any useful nutrients and minerals then is stored in your bladder so you don't have to piss every 5 minutes, then excreted through the penis. now. when you eat solid foods it's mixed with fluids, digested, nurtients are absorbed in your small intestines. then in your lower intestine it actually sucks the moisture out of the solid waste so you don't dehydrate so easily. (then it's filtered through the kidneys and goes out the penis i think). When you are pissing out of your ass. it's because there is something in your body that your body really doesnt want there. so instead of trying to save the water it tries to flush it out the easiest way possible.


so stop doing whatever you're doing. and i'm going to message you something that might just save your ass.


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‎"If the words 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on." -Terence McKenna

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."
-Albert Einstein

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
- Scott Adams


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OfflineShamenWarrior
The one within
Male


Registered: 08/30/11
Posts: 165
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: geckomage]
    #18738971 - 08/21/13 06:13 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

just to sum things up a bit, what happened was the detox drink went straight out my ass, I continued to drink 2 gallons of water, and was only able to piss 3 times. I tested myself first, Came up hot for amphetamines.
There was no way around it, I had to take the test or I'd be just as fucked anyway. So I bought some commercial "detox" drinks, that were only 3 bucks a piece so they couldn't have been what I wished it was. On my last chance, I drank water till I felt like vomiting for about 2 hours, and was only able to piss 3 more times. So, i've already accepted defeat, but a miracle would be nice right about now... THe other guys in the test place told me that the test I took was only for alcohol, but I highly doubt it. Thanks for the info!


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InvisibleDr. Crapsghetti
Peer Educator
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Registered: 07/16/13
Posts: 602
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: ShamenWarrior]
    #18739144 - 08/21/13 07:00 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

If you're pissing out your ass, your body should still be getting detoxed. I am still pissing out of my asshole. I drank some booze and it seemed to help, but my stomach is still raunchy and I am still shitting pulpy apple cider. I don't feel like eating either. Hopefully this passes. I think I might have ate raw shrimp, but I don't know. Maybe it was the chicken.


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: ShamenWarrior] * 1
    #18741464 - 08/22/13 09:37 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:hmm: Maybe shit the water out into the sample


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InvisibleDr. Crapsghetti
Peer Educator
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Registered: 07/16/13
Posts: 602
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: ShamenWarrior]
    #18749228 - 08/23/13 09:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I'm still pissing out my asshole. If it keeps up I'm going to have to go to the hospital. Last night was painful. I was shitting for like 45 minutes and my bowels were all tied up and pretzeled. How's your day going?


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OfflineCan-i-bus
Melting


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 1,161
Loc: WA Flag
Last seen: 2 months, 2 days
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #18749415 - 08/23/13 10:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

JesusGoneRogue said:
:hmm: Maybe shit the water out into the sample




:bigyesnod:


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OfflineYippie
Happystance
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Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 260
Last seen: 8 years, 6 days
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: Dr. Crapsghetti]
    #18753293 - 08/24/13 09:59 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Dr. Crapsghetti said:
I'm still pissing out my asshole. If it keeps up I'm going to have to go to the hospital. Last night was painful. I was shitting for like 45 minutes and my bowels were all tied up and pretzeled. How's your day going?




Yeah, you need(ed) to go to the hospital - renal failure isn't a joke.


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"Just living molecule to molecule"


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InvisibleRustifer
prestige worldwide
Male


Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: Yippie]
    #18753318 - 08/24/13 10:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

What the hell are you doing to yourself? What drugs have you been taking?


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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: why can't i pee with my pennis? [Re: Rustifer]
    #18758197 - 08/26/13 01:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

this thread = WTF


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