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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice...
    #18733972 - 08/20/13 07:55 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

How does a 23 year old living with his parents in a major metropolitan's suburbia make friends and fall once again into a tribe?



Having a good group of friends is the biggest thing for my well-being on all fronts, as it keeps me grounded and gives me something I want to stay well to be part of.

Buuut with not being in my college town, I don't know anyone. I used to, but between drugs and being mostly across the state for most of the last several years that we could have grown as friends, I don't really have them.


Firstly, any general tips on getting back out there?

I mean, I have some sort of ish friends I could list as jumping-off points but IDK. I've usually freaked them out by overdoing drugs, or (most often) alcohol. Which I need to seriously curtail my affairs with, but it's also the default social standby.

I mean, what I really want is just people I can casually hang out with a lot rather than my "real world" friends who've graduated and gone corporate... they keep to themselves and their GFs/BFs until its the weekend, then they go out to fancy bar areas and drink, and do it again. This kind of social life is neither appealing to me nor compatible

What I need is a couple/few guys I can just go through the experience of life with for the next few months while shooting the shit.

I mean, there's this 17 year old I work with and his 18 year old friend, but it's just weird with them being so young and they're pretty much nothing like me except that they fucked up way earlier in their lives (they go to alternative schools, don't have much intellectually going on, are complete punks, etc.).


What about making a private facebook note with the few acquaintance-type "friends" I have left around here just explaining I'm back in town for the semester and am looking for people to hang out with and was wondering if they'd be willing to help acclimate me to the local social scene?

This begs the questions though:
- Will they think "...well, where was I the last 3 months?" [[[Did St1ll not have any friends this whole time?]]]
- Should I address my propensity towards substance abuse and acknowledge the damage its done to our relationships?
- Along the last question, should I come out and just say "I promise that I won't show up to stuff you invite me to blasted and that I'll keep it cool should beer or other vices surface during whatever outings may come"?
- How should I approach basically begging for people for friendship and help getting into some sort of social sphere?



Thanks in advance, shroomery. This was a very-humbling few paragraphs to type.

I think as much as anything else, it's a matter of my lost confidence and being afraid to just try stuff.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
Happy Mushrooming
Female User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18733980 - 08/20/13 07:56 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

He moves out of his parents house.


--------------------
*
Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
:mushroom2::rainbowdrink:
This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
:twirlyface:

If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all
Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible
Be happy
Be nice
(<3);}


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18733985 - 08/20/13 07:57 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

just say "sup'


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #18733988 - 08/20/13 07:58 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomopotamus said:
He moves out of his parents house.




This is not realistic right now but thanks for the helpful advice I guess?


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,982
Loc: Texas
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Sheekle] * 2
    #18733990 - 08/20/13 07:58 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
just say "sup'




lol


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleLegend
RIP Sasha
Male


Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX Flag
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18733992 - 08/20/13 07:58 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

wish i knew nox, wish i knew.


--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18734000 - 08/20/13 07:59 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

I thought you were going back to school soon now? Did I miss something?


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #18734011 - 08/20/13 08:01 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

psychedelic_Abyss said:
I thought you were going back to school soon now? Did I miss something?




Wasn't ready, have to stay at the local uni to retake my summer class that I let myself get distracted from.

So this is my reality... I am just wanting to make it a good one, ya know?


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Invisibleluvdemboomers
loner with a boner

Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18734035 - 08/20/13 08:04 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Idk what to tell other than if you don't smoke weed, to start smoking weed and finding other people to smoke with. Idk what the norm is for people my age but "hanging out" isn't really appealing to me if it doesn't involve smoking weed.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: luvdemboomers]
    #18734044 - 08/20/13 08:06 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

luvdemboomers said:
Idk what to tell other than if you don't smoke weed, to start smoking weed and finding other people to smoke with. Idk what the norm is for people my age but "hanging out" isn't really appealing to me if it doesn't involve smoking weed.




Wow


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: luvdemboomers]
    #18734045 - 08/20/13 08:07 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Hey, if I could just ask this much....

Could 2 or 3 people PLEASE read my whole post and then reply, especially addressing the facebook idea? Thanks for the input so far guys.

Quote:

luvdemboomers said:
Idk what to tell other than if you don't smoke weed, to start smoking weed and finding other people to smoke with. Idk what the norm is for people my age but "hanging out" isn't really appealing to me if it doesn't involve smoking weed.




This is a key component of what I'm looking for too. Not friendships based on it, but where we can have that bond.

My best friend is leaving for college again in a few days... I'm really nervous already.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #18734051 - 08/20/13 08:07 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

psychedelic_Abyss said:
Quote:

luvdemboomers said:
Idk what to tell other than if you don't smoke weed, to start smoking weed and finding other people to smoke with. Idk what the norm is for people my age but "hanging out" isn't really appealing to me if it doesn't involve smoking weed.




Wow



lol


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18734056 - 08/20/13 08:07 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Could 2 or 3 people PLEASE read my whole post and then reply, especially addressing the facebook idea? Thanks for the input so far guys.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18734057 - 08/20/13 08:08 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

st1llnox said:
, especially addressing the facebook idea? .



yeah don't send them a long thing explaining yourself just be like sup


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineAll We Perceive
Sea Cucumber
Male


Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 10,491
Last seen: 7 months, 29 days
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #18734058 - 08/20/13 08:08 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

try meetup.  there are like 932743247234234 meetups here for pretty much anything imaginable.  lots of interesting cats.  I found my tai chi class on meetup.  :thumbup:


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak


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InvisibleLegend
RIP Sasha
Male


Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX Flag
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18734059 - 08/20/13 08:09 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

st1llnox said:
, especially addressing the facebook idea? .



yeah don't send them a long thing explaining yourself just be like sup




--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: All We Perceive]
    #18734062 - 08/20/13 08:09 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

You can always try craiglist :shrug: I'm sure you'd meet some interesting people to say the least


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: Legend]
    #18734063 - 08/20/13 08:09 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)



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OfflineAll We Perceive
Sea Cucumber
Male


Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 10,491
Last seen: 7 months, 29 days
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: All We Perceive]
    #18734065 - 08/20/13 08:09 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Re your facebook idea, that is not going to work.  People don't respond well to people begging to hang out--especially given your baggage with them.  I would try new avenues... like meetup.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Humiliating to even ask, but I really need advice... [Re: All We Perceive]
    #18734070 - 08/20/13 08:11 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

All We Perceive said:
Re your facebook idea, that is not going to work.  People don't respond well to people begging to hang out--especially given your baggage with them.  I would try new avenues... like meetup.




Yeah spilling your guts on social media is probably the best way to make this situation infinitely worse


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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