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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically
    #18733409 - 08/20/13 06:03 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

I'm just drowning.

All I have left of my once-bustling social life are sporadic connections with some of those I knew only before I fell too hard into drugs, but no real friendships.

I'm stuck at my parents house for another semester to retake my class from last summer, but I can't even get into it at the university I need to retake it at, so I'm looking at a semester scooping fries at McDonalds... and for nothing.

I'm $3,000 in debt working for nearly minimum wage. I used to make almost $20 an hour.

I finally got the courage to take steps out of this debt and list things on eBay, but now I can't list anything without a credit card. Tried putting in my debit; declined. Checked my bank account: $3 overdrawn. There goes $35, or 4.7 hours of my life at McDonalds. Turns out it was for Mac and Cheese cause there was pretty much no vegetarian food left at my house.

And now all this crap I dug up, dragged out, and photographed is just adding to my stress while I bask in the realization that 5 more hours of this, the only life I'll ever get, are going to be pissed into bank overdraft fees while one of my best ways to accelerate getting out of debt is put on hold.

I'll just go out with my friends to get my mind of this. Oh wait... :feelsbadman:

It was a nice thought.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18733428 - 08/20/13 06:10 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Just had to vent I guess :shrug:. Sorry.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox] * 1
    #18733474 - 08/20/13 06:18 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

put that shit on craigslist, goddamnit.  ebay sucks, nobody uses that shit anymore


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: memes]
    #18733489 - 08/20/13 06:20 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

meams said:
put that shit on craigslist, goddamnit.  ebay sucks, nobody uses that shit anymore




I already listed 3 things on Craigslist.

The rest of it would get much more money on eBay and sell faster Citation: st1ll is actually the mortal god of eBay WHEN HE CAN FUCKING USE IT

Frustrating.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18733578 - 08/20/13 06:37 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

you've got your health!



i'm having a minor panic attack right now becuase my chest feels tight.... so, just be happy you're not experiencing that anxiety!

:awebig:


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: memes]
    #18733600 - 08/20/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

meams said:
you've got your health!



i'm having a minor panic attack right now becuase my chest feels tight.... so, just be happy you're not experiencing that anxiety!

:awebig:




I get my liver test results back tomorrow in regard to months of DXM abuse :shrug:

I hope your chest quits feeling tight and that all your dreams come true though! :hug:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18733627 - 08/20/13 06:45 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

GL with the test results man.  a good friend at work recently had a super sketchy biopsy done - and it came out OK.  Hope that continues on with you

:thumbup:


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: memes]
    #18734519 - 08/20/13 09:42 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

meams said:
GL with the test results man.  a good friend at work recently had a super sketchy biopsy done - and it came out OK.  Hope that continues on with you

:thumbup:




Thanks man.

All I know about liver enzymes is relative to getting high or talking psychiatrists out of certain meds, so if I've got damage at least I don't know exactly why I should be worried about it! Knowledge is power, but ignorance is FREEDOM!!!


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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OfflineThe5thElement
Smile Friends :)
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 4,675
Loc: Canada Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18735504 - 08/21/13 02:15 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

I know you want to go to school and stuff but maybe you should try to get some sort of skill that would earn you more money :shrug:

I did my time working for next to nothing and imo it's a waste of time man, I mean seriously your going to spend 8 hours a day or more working for jack shit, what's the point?

Getting a skill that will earn you more money isn't as easy as it sounds but it's defiantly worth pursuing that way you can actually get somewhere faster financially and save up and then go to school or whatever you decide to do.


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Offlinegeckomage
The Magical Gecko
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/24/12
Posts: 51
Last seen: 6 years, 8 days
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18738358 - 08/21/13 04:07 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Hey brother. I just typed up everything i would like to say to you in a post i made in the philosophical debate seciton and i now believe i have placed it in the wrong place. so i'll move or re-post it over here too. But search The power of the human mind - how to get your ant to guide your elephant! i forget what exactly i called it but it's somewhere along those lines. i apologize for my laziness but if you read it i have a feeling it'd really help you. :smile:

i hope things start looking brighter for you soon, i was in that same boat man. you CAN get out. you just gotta believe you can. If you needa vent or talk about anything feel free to inbox me. i'll get back to ya eventually :wink:


--------------------
‎"If the words 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on." -Terence McKenna

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."
-Albert Einstein

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
- Scott Adams


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InvisibleMasked
The Nutter
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Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox] * 1
    #18741132 - 08/22/13 07:39 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

100 % of your problems are caused by you, i'm sorry to say stillnox.

If you accept this responsibility, then your next question is WHY?

Make a list.

Just make sure at the top is:

1. Because i'm dependent on an assortment of drugs.  They are doing more harm then good and I just can't see it.  Must go sober.

Life is tough, no doubt.  You need to work hard towards your goals and accept responsibility for the mistakes you make.

When I was 18 I struggled as well and I was on my own.  I sometimes spent weeks eating only mr.noodles.  But I always had beer and weed.  Shows where my priorities were :facepalm: 

Like I said in an earlier thread...i foresee an unhappy end to your current path.  It's not what I wish for you, but you don't seem to have the desire to make the life changing decisions you need.

Or I might be being to dramatic and your just a punk kid that will eventually grow up and find your way eventually :smirk:

good luck bud.  Just try to remain positive


--------------------
.


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18741473 - 08/22/13 09:38 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

You should make a plan for yourself and slice it up into smaller more attainable goals. Divide and conquer. You should also cut down your cost of living as much as possible.


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #18747718 - 08/23/13 03:05 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

geckomage said:
Hey brother. I just typed up everything i would like to say to you in a post i made in the philosophical debate seciton and i now believe i have placed it in the wrong place. so i'll move or re-post it over here too. But search The power of the human mind - how to get your ant to guide your elephant! i forget what exactly i called it but it's somewhere along those lines. i apologize for my laziness but if you read it i have a feeling it'd really help you. :smile:

i hope things start looking brighter for you soon, i was in that same boat man. you CAN get out. you just gotta believe you can. If you needa vent or talk about anything feel free to inbox me. i'll get back to ya eventually :wink:




Thanks dude! :vibin:


Quote:

Masked said:
100 % of your problems are caused by you, i'm sorry to say stillnox.

If you accept this responsibility, then your next question is WHY?

Make a list.

Just make sure at the top is:

1. Because i'm dependent on an assortment of drugs.  They are doing more harm then good and I just can't see it.  Must go sober.

Life is tough, no doubt.  You need to work hard towards your goals and accept responsibility for the mistakes you make.

When I was 18 I struggled as well and I was on my own.  I sometimes spent weeks eating only mr.noodles.  But I always had beer and weed.  Shows where my priorities were :facepalm: 

Like I said in an earlier thread...i foresee an unhappy end to your current path.  It's not what I wish for you, but you don't seem to have the desire to make the life changing decisions you need.

Or I might be being to dramatic and your just a punk kid that will eventually grow up and find your way eventually :smirk:

good luck bud.  Just try to remain positive




Crap reply!!! :megacrankey:


Quote:

JesusGoneRogue said:
You should make a plan for yourself and slice it up into smaller more attainable goals. Divide and conquer. You should also cut down your cost of living as much as possible.




Good suggestion... Imma do this! :psychsplit:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
Female User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18747903 - 08/23/13 03:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Dude - how many people do you know ARENT in some kind of debt? If it makes you feel better I'm at about $30k in debt medical wise.

You keep letting yourself get all frazzled over things, chill out mannggg.


--------------------


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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male


Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: VivaLaMushie] * 1
    #18747967 - 08/23/13 04:09 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Turn your life towards Christ....He will help you :bored:


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18748127 - 08/23/13 05:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:manofapproval:


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: Almond Flour] * 1
    #18748134 - 08/23/13 05:07 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Almond Flour said:
Turn your life towards Christ....He will help you :bored:



:paradis:


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InvisibleFunkMasterShroom
Stranger
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Registered: 03/05/09
Posts: 1,379
Loc: Canada
Re: Feels like drowning... stuck financially, friendships-wise, academically [Re: st1llnox]
    #18761552 - 08/26/13 09:35 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Hey st1llnox,

If you are drowning, take a deep breathe, stop for a minute and just breathe.
The focus of your mind is the key, to utilize your conscious will-power.
When you're all filled up like that and you feel the need to vent, take a minute and breathe.
Stop and feel what you are feeling, pay close attention and sense how it feels, the texture, the edge, the pressure.. Etc..
Remember that as long as you can think, and act, you can find a way to overcome almost anything.
Take that feeling, bring up all your feeling, bring it way up into yourself, and use that feeling to catalyse an action..
For when you have really had enough, when you really feel it, you will not vent, nor complain, nor worry, because you know that you cannot change it, or that you will change it.

May the Source be with You.


--------------------
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

"Adapt.
Adjust.
Accommodate."

"Professional help is being thought." - Bill Hicks

It would be hilarious... if it wasn't so sad...


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