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Anonymous #1

Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive?
    #18731374 - 08/20/13 09:00 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

And if yes, why? And was it a flat out lie?

I ask because my whole life I have dealt with low self esteem. I never got much male attention and when I did, I usually brushed it off or told myself that I must be imagining that they thought I was attractive and must have somehow been misreading their signals.

More recently, over the past few years, I've started trying to take better care of myself and my appearance but I still can't shake the low-self esteem mindset.

So the other day I was texting a guy friend who is a mutual friend of mine and my boyfriend. He had just broken up with his girlfriend of 4 years and was having a rough time, and I was trying to give him some advice and trying relate to what he was going through, etc. I was telling him how its easy to know that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else, but it isn't always so easy to implement. I told him how I had been trying to love myself and take better care of myself by going to the gym lately and how it had been making a tremendous difference not only for me, but also the response I was getting from my boyfriend.

His response was "You're attractive, don't second guess yourself lol."

I didn't even ask him what he thought of how I looked. Just mentioned the thing about going to the gym and he volunteered that response. Then he started telling me how his ex was the same way and how she had little confidence. I had seen his ex before and personally thought that she was very pretty.

Anyway its just been bugging me because I just keep wanting to tell myself that he was just saying that to be nice and make me feel better, because I was trying to make HIM feel better and maybe he was just trying to return the favor.

Does this sound like a situation where you'd lie about something like that? I can see lying and telling a girl she is attractive if the guy is desperate to get laid and doesn't really care what the girl looks like. But this isn't really a situation like that and I don't think he'd try to sabotage mine and my boyfriend's relationship seeing as he just got out of a bad relationship himself.

Thoughts?


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Offlineempty space
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18731542 - 08/20/13 10:04 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

You're attractive, don't second guess yourself.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: empty space]
    #18731576 - 08/20/13 10:17 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Very funny. Care to give a serious response?


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18731654 - 08/20/13 10:46 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

. I told him how I had been trying to love myself and take better care of myself by going to the gym lately and how it had been making a tremendous difference not only for me, but also the response I was getting from my boyfriend.




Judging from what you said here (and I don't know the text of your conversation) it would seem that he could tell you have low confidence. And as he said since his ex was the same it was probably quite obvious.

Now on to the question in the subject of the OP: I think it really depends on the person. But I don't think anyone would voluntarily tell someone they are attractive when not prompted unless they meant it. And even if they said it to get in your pants, they still obviously would think you are attractive, otherwise they wouldn't want to.


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Offlineempty space
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18731748 - 08/20/13 11:10 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Very funny. Care to give a serious response?



That was a serious response.

If you are going to the gym and taking care of your body, Im sure that you are attractive. Everybody has features that are beautiful. Its all about realizing that you do have those features and being confident about it. Its about accentuating those features. And having confidence about your sexiness is really sexy too.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: empty space]
    #18733000 - 08/20/13 03:56 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Op....IMHO beauty is a very very subjective subject. One mans junk....another's treasure.:shrug: Our society has been pulverized with skinny , blonde, large breasted trophies as a definition of what beauty should be. It is everywhere...yet, rarely do real people look exactly that way.

So, I guess what I am saying is that by lying....I would only be relating to my opinion of what beauty should be. Personally,and realisticaly,  I think all women are beautiful...that is the truth.:sunny::peace:M


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #18733156 - 08/20/13 04:41 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

I'll never tell a girl she isn't attractive.  So yes, i've lied.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: memes]
    #18733201 - 08/20/13 04:51 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

What if the girl was hideous according to your personal preference? Would you go out of your way to tell her that she was attractive if you could see that she had low confidence or would you try to skirt the issue if it arose?


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InvisibleMasked
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18733302 - 08/20/13 05:29 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

I know who you are and you are sexier then hell.  Believe it :heart:  Truly, you are absoulutely stunning inside and out


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18733329 - 08/20/13 05:38 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Would you go out of your way to tell her that she was attractive if you could see that she had low confidence or would you try to skirt the issue if it arose?




Not an easy thing to dance around, if a girl asks you if you find her attractive.  So the answer is yes.  And seeing that she was obviously self-conscious would make me more inclined to lie and say "yes".

Reaffirming someone's own self-doubt doesn't do them any good.  It just makes the spiral go deeper, faster.


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Offlinesonamdrukpa
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: memes]
    #18733353 - 08/20/13 05:47 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

I wouldn't say I've so much lied in my answer to the question (I've only been asked by attractive women, I think if you're truly not pretty you probably know it and have no reason to subject yourself to the possibility of a depressing answer) as I've pretty much always refused to take it seriously or put any thought into my answer.  Give the person who's fishing what they want and avoid all the bullshit.  It's such a bad question anyway, it only matters if the people you're attracted to find you attractive, and you're not going to find that out by asking someone else.

If you want to reliably find out how attractive you are to the general population though, there are several websites you can submit pictures to where people will rate you.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: memes]
    #18733369 - 08/20/13 05:52 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

If she asks, that is one thing because that is kind of putting you on the spot.  I was asking if you would go out of your way to tell her. Like why would you put your foot in your mouth unnecessarily?

I think I must analyze shit way too much. :facepalm:


Edited by Anonymous (08/20/13 05:53 PM)


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Offlinesonamdrukpa
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18733374 - 08/20/13 05:55 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

No, I've never volunteered such information if it was false.


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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #18733450 - 08/20/13 06:13 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Never. Except for Becky, Becky's a bitch.


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18733460 - 08/20/13 06:16 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I was asking if you would go out of your way to tell her. Like why would you put your foot in your mouth unnecessarily?

I think I must analyze shit way too much. :facepalm:




If she was blatantly insecure and was just exuding desire for a genuine compliment, i'd give her what she thought was a genuine compliment.

otherwise, i wouldn't go out of my way to lie to anyone, ever.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18733611 - 08/20/13 06:43 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

lawl sounds liek ur thinking way 2 deep in2 it


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Sheekle]
    #18734889 - 08/20/13 10:50 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

I've been told that I  "don't look shot out YET, or anything."

Considering everything I've done, I find this to be a compliment. :lol: :thumbup:


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Offlineqman
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Crystal G]
    #18736545 - 08/21/13 09:18 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

If a guy has sex with a women, he is usually attracted to her, so the only way to know for sure, have sex with the man. :dawerp:


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: qman]
    #18736743 - 08/21/13 10:18 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

OP, the only way your gonna get a straight answer from us is if you post a pic of yourself.

But be careful, this is an online forum and you might get harsh answers.

Do you have enough self esteem to live with the answer you may or may not get?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Guys: Have you ever lied to a girl about whether or not she is attractive? [Re: Patlal]
    #18736805 - 08/21/13 10:37 AM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Everyone on this board already thinks shes sexy as hell :p

She has nothing to prove.  I think she was just trying to see if guys normally would fib about it.

I think you are wrong in that she's got some pretty straightforward answers in this thread.  The consensus being that if a guy goes out of his way to say it, it's most likely because they mean it.  The only time some may fib is if they are asked outright by an unattractive woman.

This thread wasn't her attempt to make it a "am I hot or not thread"


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