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TictocWang
MMMMUSHROOMS



Registered: 01/29/13 
Posts: 281
Loc: EVERYWHER
Last seen: 11 months, 10 days
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Do i suffer from psychosis or At least did I at one point???? *DELETED*
#18731666 - 08/20/13 10:49 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by tomo231Reason for deletion: similar reason
-------------------- WHAT IF LIFE WAS ONE BIG TRIP AND WHEN YOU DIE YOU RETURN BACK AS AN ALIEN HOLDING A BONG ON ANOTHER PLANET WITH UR FRIENDS CIRCLED AROUND YOU SCREAMING HOW WAS IT DID YOU FEEL IT
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Do i suffer from psychosis or At least did I at one point???? [Re: TictocWang]
#18732700 - 08/20/13 02:54 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well first thing, you're a bit narcissistic or 'big headed'. This doesn't help, this is part of growing up; that big egos and pride just get in the way. It's working for the betterment of everyone and everything that makes you a happy person. If you're good looking it's great and you should be happy but don't pride yourself on it, it's unattractive, isn't a good feeling and gets in the way of further understanding of life.
Second, it sounds like psychosis/schizophrenia, yes. If you automatically relate everything to yourself there is some brain chemistry problem.
Low regularity in dosing with drugs, like every 3 months or something, is probably never going to cause schizophrenia unless you are susceptible, but intense dosing like you have done in my observations of my little drug circles almost inevitably leads to a brain chemistry problem.
Some people like to say drugs don't even cause brain damage but things like amphetamines definitely do, especially if you're on them constantly. I mean, hello, this is your fucking brain, it's not there to be pumped full of compounds, it's there as part of your being so you can live life. So you might have done some damage that has led to a permanent brain chemistry problem.
All my old drug circle friends are all fucked up, psychotic or depressed, now.
If you're a responsible person it's really only hallucinogens that are interesting and only in very irregular doses. Going crazy with drugs is a sure fire way to destroy yourself and your life.
You should probably get medicated and abstain from further drug use.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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TictocWang
MMMMUSHROOMS



Registered: 01/29/13 
Posts: 281
Loc: EVERYWHER
Last seen: 11 months, 10 days
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Re: Do i suffer from psychosis or At least did I at one point???? [Re: circastes]
#18734068 - 08/20/13 08:10 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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*maybe yes, maybe no .... I guess you could only judge weather or not I had a big head if you met me in person and then I would happily accept you opinion about me but I will say that this is not something that I have strung together all on my own im in no way claiming or bragging about my pride on weather or not im good looking at all as I am only telling you the truth ... im the exact opposite condition now and this has lead my fellow friends and family to think that yea maybe he dose have problems...
And yes it is all a part of growing up for sure but I have grown up its been a solid 3 years since I took hard drugs IE , Ecstasy ,speed or even a LSD .. I just don't do drugs or even drink alcohol anymore .. I mean I might have a beer or three on a Friday Arv but that is the extent of that.
Marijuana has probes been the hardest addiction to kick and the mushrooms Well thats another hole different avenue in which after 3 to 4 years of chronic anxiety not wanting to leave the house for social activity's sometimes work, but Ive always really worked as this is a must and something we all have too do but if i had the choice and didn't have to go anywhere I wouldn't of hey .
mushrooms is what brought me to this sight about 8 to 9 months ago to be exact and I was really close to taking my own life or at least thinking about it anyways .. when I would reunite with fellow friends or even the closest of mates I would have theses mad anxiety attacks to the point were I would just leave with out telling them ,saying goodbye or anything.. my heart would race over the fact of just being seen in the condition that I was in and this just escalated as time went on...
a really close friend then gave me this article on mushrooms and there supposed healing power against anxiety, depression , and just a way embrace what you have in life and get the utmost best ou ta what you have been delt ... so I came here read a Lott and tried to understand what mushrooms would actually do to me and the difference between that an LSD which had experienced before ...
I then proceeded to acquire some spores and eventually had my first successful grow and experience on mushrooms ... and WOW . it was great after my second experience my anxiety was completely gone . it was totally eradicated and I have not had a single anxiety attack since i had my first mushroom trip ..
my concern however is still the fact that no mater how confident, how accepting i am of myself now these days .. I still come into contact with these types of ignorant, jealous, and overall just unaccepted people who will still try to get the beta of me even when im trying my best to keep myself from feeling the way i do.
sure it might be in my head maybe I am fucking crazy but I just cant see how anyone in this world can advocate or justify some of the terms used in my day to day world about how they would nek themselves over such irrelevant terms, issues or even little things in life if you catch my drift... they bring such a negative outlook on things that you would never consider taking your life over and just the overall ignorance that they have for the little things and people is beyond me I think ...
maybe I have grown to such an extent that I never use any negative terms about anyone . I now can catch up with long old time friends and there overall ignorance towards other people is crazy and how they will constantly write off or belittle other people all just for a laugh or to make them selves feel beta in some way im not quite sure ... this has lead them to say to me man you've changed ... like your quite dude, like have a laugh .. but really I find it in no way funny at all how they demoralize people who might have the slightest issue and I feel like pointing out some of there issues that they might have and say well you cant do this or you in no way can sit there and say that shit about such a wonderful kind hearted having a go sort of guy and it really fucking pisses me off ...
I deleted my last post as again I tried to vent just what has happened to me in the past and to relay some of my previous experiences with people and what I have come to perceive about peoples initial reactions towards a first impression and after 8 years of meting new people time and time again .. you soon realize the ones who are more accepting or more understanding and just generally nice ... but yea i would be kidding myself to say the least that over the past i have not met dozens of people who were jealous in some way and has tried to get the beata of me by conveying illicit and fuct up unmeaning full no point at all views on such issues which then thinks how the fuck can they say that over something so little and makes me relate that to ... MAN they must be talking about me ...
ANY WAYS I am quite a nice understanding do anything for anyone type of guy and always have been ... I am sorry if I came across big headed or narcissistic but again that's just something that average people tend to say to other people who strive to do there best in every area in there life .... and no not meaning you but yea really stop and think about it and what I have wrote
CRAZY maybe???? but sometimes I truly wish for insanity as then I would have an excuse ))
-------------------- WHAT IF LIFE WAS ONE BIG TRIP AND WHEN YOU DIE YOU RETURN BACK AS AN ALIEN HOLDING A BONG ON ANOTHER PLANET WITH UR FRIENDS CIRCLED AROUND YOU SCREAMING HOW WAS IT DID YOU FEEL IT
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Re: Do i suffer from psychosis or At least did I at one point???? [Re: TictocWang]
#18735846 - 08/21/13 04:54 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hey tomo231, I really wish that you hadn't deleted your other post because you are anything BUT big-headed ---you sound like a really beautiful person, and FULL of courage!!" I am aware what you mean about being in a gang of people who are obmixious--fukin horrible and putting down others. I toked for many many many years, and was VERy psychologically addicted to it, and so felt i HAD to bear individuals and groups of people I didn't really like in order to always have contacts so I could get my drug. So I know what putting up with dickheads can feel like, and it takes real courage not to con-form to their idiocy, and be the one that they point the finger at and claim YOUR weird, too 'soft', not a 'laugh' etc etc.
Recently I saw this really moving documentary about this kid who was gay and was bullied, and ended up killing himself, and you saw his dad going into schools to talk to the children there. It was REALLY moving. He said to them that they must not put up with other kids saying bad things about others, like calling them names 'faggot' etc. Because many DO---they dont speak out, because of the fear of standing up against such abuse, and that is why people who are targeted feel so bad because they are faced with the bullying AND apathy, and feel totally isolated and feel their only escape is killing theirself. TERRIBLE.
So glad to hear how magic mushrooms helped heal your anxiety. Have you ever written up any trip reports about that? I am REALLY interested in all that and collect this database where I file such things.
My encouragement is to keep speaking out when you see fit, and also when you can A-VOID such unintelligent and un-loving company, even if it means being alone.
Edited by zzripz (08/21/13 04:57 AM)
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