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Beside the Garden


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
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Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke.
#18715746 - 08/16/13 05:54 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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I rent a room from my sister and her husband. This girl, my sisters best friends apartment has just had a change in management and she no longer has the same tolerance as far as payment goes and cant afford her rent. To complicate things she has a kid and there is no father in the picture. My brother in law and her work together and the other day at work she put the offer out that she would pay them an amount that is almost double what I pay for the room i rent, effectively pushing me out.
Now this girl is someone i have always felt protective towards being my sisters best friend. When her ex would verbally and physically abuse her i let it be known to my sister that i would be there to assist however I could and with force if needed, my advice on handling it in an adult manner was sound but unheeded and drama ensued. As it turns out my brother in law stepped in and knocked him out.
The other day she was talking with my sister and I about her living arrangements and how she cant afford to pay rent unless she split the payment in two installments like she had been. I asked if she had an extra $200 at the beginning of the month would that be enough of a leg up for her to stay caught up. She said yeah but it wouldn't matter because she could never have the extra cash in her account without spending it. Well if i didn't stop right there, I was about to offer this girl the money on loan so she didn't have to lose her place. She has the money but is not adult enough to manage it.
So my brother in law told me today what she said at work and i got territorial. He does not seam open to her taking my place but i believe he has the three sum fantasy based on what she has put out there. When asked about the flirtation and innuendos towards him she says its just a joke.
So when she came in with my sister after a concert tonight I confronted her like John Wain and said calmly "So I hear your fixin to take my place" She tried the coy approach like she didn't know what i was talking about but i gave her a look and repeated my self. She then got defensive and flipped her wrist like she didn't have time for this and defaulted to saying "It was just a joke, it was meant as a joke". But it's not a joke how could it be, she is a single mom trying to house her child. She might say it like a joke to test the waters but if the offer took, I bet she would invade on my territory.
During the confrontation my sister jumped to her defense right away saying i was reading to much into it bla bla bla but i don't think I was, she had tangible reason to make a move and i now see she has no consideration for me. Its not just me shes inconsiderate with this behavior reflects in how she interacts with the world. I have witnessed her park in a handicap space, another situation where my sister was quick to defend her saying its just for a minute also something my sister would not do herself. There are other prime examples of selfish disregard and i am now seeing her as a hindrance to my sisters adult development and my enjoyment at home.
The next day I talked to my sister and just laid out my view on it, not a long conversation but concise saying what she was doing was underhanded and even if she played it off as a joke she was really just testing the water. Things seam cool and my arrangements are not under direct threat from her offer but im now aware that a line has been drawn. If there is ever small stuff going on at home this girl may very well be in my sisters ear conspiring, i view this as dangerous because she is the best friend.
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K1ngSp4de
CHUT UP!!!




Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 1,680
Loc:
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Beside the Garden]
#18715784 - 08/16/13 06:03 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Just tell her she can share your bed for free in exchange for sexual favors.
*seem
-------------------- PC Repair and Troubleshooting Forum If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson Si peccasse negamus fallimur et nulla est in nobis veritas.
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anne halonium
jaguarette



Registered: 05/07/13
Posts: 1,908
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: K1ngSp4de]
#18715802 - 08/16/13 06:07 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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get your own place.
relatives are a serious buzzkill on anyone over 12. they are best avoided.
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Edited by anne halonium (08/16/13 06:10 PM)
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: anne halonium]
#18715813 - 08/16/13 06:10 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
anne halonium said: get your own place.
relatives are a serious drag on anyone over 12. they are best avoided.
Seconded.
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urbannerd
W.TheMushroomTip



Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 997
Loc: California
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: anne halonium]
#18715819 - 08/16/13 06:11 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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tell her its haunted after you played with the ouija board a few times
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Soaking in the energy of the universe since '91
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Beside the Garden


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: K1ngSp4de]
#18715825 - 08/16/13 06:13 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well that's why i am here to save up and work things out to get my own place. Right now the situation is not a drag at all, she did offer twice the amount and im still here.
Quote:
K1ngSp4de said: Just tell her she can share your bed for free in exchange for sexual favors.
*seem
Not going to happen
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Mycelium-yum
Stranger


Registered: 08/14/13
Posts: 141
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: urbannerd]
#18715857 - 08/16/13 06:21 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
urbannerd said: tell her its haunted after you played with the ouija board a few times
Acting something along the lines of this might do the trick also.
-------------------- "Before researchers become researchers they should become philosophers.” -Masanobu Fukuoka.
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Beside the Garden


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Mycelium-yum]
#18715907 - 08/16/13 06:37 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mycelium-yum said:
Quote:
urbannerd said: tell her its haunted after you played with the ouija board a few times
Acting something along the lines of this might do the trick also.
There may be some truth in that, I have an attraction and did make a pass months ago. As time goes on i feel less towards her and that coming to be seams unrealistic, we are both attractive but very different.
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K1ngSp4de
CHUT UP!!!




Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 1,680
Loc:
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Beside the Garden]
#18716020 - 08/16/13 07:04 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Beside the Garden said: Well that's why i am here to save up and work things out to get my own place. Right now the situation is not a drag at all, she did offer twice the amount and im still here.
Quote:
K1ngSp4de said: Just tell her she can share your bed for free in exchange for sexual favors.
*seem
Not going to happen
Then DSHSB.
-------------------- PC Repair and Troubleshooting Forum If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson Si peccasse negamus fallimur et nulla est in nobis veritas.
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Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire



Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: K1ngSp4de]
#18717797 - 08/17/13 04:55 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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you should probably start packing your stuff
-------------------- RIP Acidic_Sloth Sunset_Mission said: "larry the scary rex verily scary when thoroughly vexed invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex mercifully massacring memories masterfully relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs" April 24th 2011
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Beside the Garden


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#18717833 - 08/17/13 05:31 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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No dude I don't think its like, but thanks for the good vibes If i leave before my time its because of something i do.
Its just the approach she took that got me like "well damn bitch" I went from feeling protective and at one moment kinda likening her (until i got to know her better) to a progressive state of resentment and animosity.
Really i shouldn't be that upset and im not but i am focused on it. Probably should have kept my awareness and let it slid but i confronted. I mean she would have tried fucking my shit up instead of making adjustment and sacrifices on her end. If it had have gone through i already know the response would have boiled down to "well i have a kid i think im more important". Maybe im going on to much but im venting. exhale
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anne halonium
jaguarette



Registered: 05/07/13
Posts: 1,908
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Beside the Garden]
#18718746 - 08/17/13 12:35 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Beside the Garden said: "well i have a kid i think im more important".
"kid" is a popular word for hostage these days. id move out ,like the place was on fire during a swat team raid.
i think your dealing with a housing desperate sociopath.
i see no good coming out of all this if ya remain there. how the hell can ya grow in such a treacherous environment?
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Edited by anne halonium (08/17/13 12:38 PM)
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Mycelium-yum
Stranger


Registered: 08/14/13
Posts: 141
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Beside the Garden]
#18720808 - 08/17/13 10:07 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Beside the Garden said:this girl may very well be in my sisters ear conspiring, i view this as dangerous because she is the best friend.
Are you in good terms with your sister? Would she really kick you out for her friend? Doesn't she have some sort of social aid because of the kid?
-------------------- "Before researchers become researchers they should become philosophers.” -Masanobu Fukuoka.
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anne halonium
jaguarette



Registered: 05/07/13
Posts: 1,908
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Mycelium-yum]
#18726288 - 08/19/13 07:28 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mycelium-yum said:
Quote:
Beside the Garden said:this girl may very well be in my sisters ear conspiring, i view this as dangerous because she is the best friend.
some sort of social aid because of the kid?
of course she gets ransom money, but the gubbamint is cheap, therfore , to make the balance, she extorts shelter also.
im serious, i think your dealing with a sociopath with a kid. id move immediately.
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Mycelium-yum
Stranger


Registered: 08/14/13
Posts: 141
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: anne halonium]
#18726465 - 08/19/13 08:26 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Ransom money
-------------------- "Before researchers become researchers they should become philosophers.” -Masanobu Fukuoka.
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Beside the Garden


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Mycelium-yum]
#18734023 - 08/20/13 08:03 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Thanks for the replies i was out of town away from my computer for a few days.
Yeah im on good terms with my sister and shes a good persons the type to help a stranger with gas if they run out, she wouldn't kick me out like that. The girl thinking back does show sociopathic tendencies but i wouldn't label her as that, just really immature and self serving. I wouldn't just move ether that would be silly, im just aware of how she is and her level of consideration.
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unknown1123
Experimental

Registered: 05/15/08
Posts: 5,813
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Beside the Garden]
#18734516 - 08/20/13 09:41 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Share the room for a while? Here paying your sis 75% of here offer and you the other 25%.. End up saving more money and in 3 months (likely insane by this time from the kid) you will have the funds to move out
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anne halonium
jaguarette



Registered: 05/07/13
Posts: 1,908
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: Beside the Garden]
#18734614 - 08/20/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Beside the Garden said: sociopathic tendencies but i wouldn't label her as that, just really immature and self serving
is that any less dangerous to your interests? how are ya able to grow with all these drama peeps around?
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Beside the Garden


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
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Re: Does this seam underhanded or like a passing joke. [Re: anne halonium]
#18734976 - 08/20/13 11:05 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Drama will most likely try to throw me off anywhere, this noise wasn't to loud and is the kind that can be dealt with when it comes. Just pissed me off when i heard it. She will still maintain it was a joke, but i wont bring it up again.
Her danger to me now is not moving in but being that voice in my sisters ear. You know If my sis complains about small stuff, this girl could be there out of anger distorting things and engaging her to make it seam bigger, she matters for that reason. She's a small player in my life, someone i wanted to help out but that's over. I will be tolerant and just tighten up on my end, keep up my house hold duties and keep being kind of a nice guy.
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