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PhytoExtractum Shop: Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder

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MDMA + LSD
    #18712126 - 08/15/13 10:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

So I've taken mdma for the first time a few months ago. Judging by how I felt during and after it, I mentally set myself a timer, that I'll take it once every 2 years or so.

Then I go to this festival, there's this girl there I used to be with last year, having some serious issues about this other girl I'm kinda with now, and general girl drama is happening. I'm not even with this new girl, we're just fwb and we live in different countries. Anyway. The group decides to take MDMA, and since I've seen it's good for communication and clearing blockages and pent up emotions, I decide to join in. Anything for last year's girl, which is actually very nice. I figure it'll help if I communicate with her under md.

I find out that at least one guy in the group wants to take mdma and then lsd, aka candyflip, which I had never heard of before. I figure yes, I'll do that as well. MDMA will be boring as hell otherwise, it's not really my thing. 

I took the MD, it kicked in, did some talking with the current girl, which was quite boring and useless, to me at least. The talk I mean. Last year's girl was totally refusing to communicate in any way, always being busy with other people, avoiding eye contact etc. I figured fine, I would never think to bother or interrupt someone else during a trip if they need their space. Later on she told me she saw me and new girl on MDMA, and she cried her brains out, because she felt alone, left out etc. Like wtf? :facepalm: She was the main reason I even took the damn thing. Girls are impossible to understand sometimes :shrug:

During the chat with new girl, something (internally) tells me to disconnect, focus on my chest and plexus, follow that area, be aware of how and when tension forms there. Then try to figure out why. What's under the plexus pressure, what event or trauma from the past, what fear, etc. Explore the deeper layers, find and understand causes for each break in the flow of air. It was like my connection between my head and the chest area, that's something that I've neglected for years, and that's a fantastic source of confidence, guidance and manly ... dude ... presence, for lack of a better word :lol:

It took no more than 10-15 minutes to significantly raise my level of selfishness, self-absorption and general fuck all of y'all attitude. It's been like that for several days now. It's like the rhythm of my breath in that plexus area, a calm sustained even rhythm, has taken over as a new prime directive in most things I do. External goals aren't OK if they bring my rhythm off balance, external people are deemed useless and dismissed / avoided if they mess with my rhythm and pleasant flow of air. I have this feeling that I've become much more of an a-hole after that mdma event, even though I haven't expressed it outwardly yet. I'm seeing new communication options that weren't really there before. Cutting people off, saying nothing, dismissive looks, gestures and simply walking away mid-convo, are now perfectly valid and on the table, far more than before. If my plexus / chest area says you suck, or this convo sucks, or your voice has no nice vibe to it, then bye.

The LSD kicked in later, and by my judgment it was way too weak. Could have used double or even triple dose. Especially at a festival, I'm looking for a mindblasting trip, a major reset, and this definitely wasn't it. A few CEV's and some interesting vibes and that was it. Rating of the LSD part: meh. Maybe I still had some tolerance from the previous trip about a week before.

After this I think I'll just reset my MDMA timer to several years, I'll probably hit it again if and only if I have a meaningful long term relationship, to deepen the connection. I think. Straight up psychedelics seem way more useful to me personally. Will keep an eye on this newly developed a-hole side of my personality that I connected with, and keep following my chest area quite closely. Awareness of breath is key.

Has anybody else had similar experiences, becoming more internally focused?


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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