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Anonymous #1
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I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole *DELETED* 11
#18617511 - 07/26/13 09:43 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Post deleted by AnonymousReason for deletion: privacy
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#18617539 - 07/26/13 09:52 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Man you're awfully comfortable with your life span, you're like a marmant or something.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#18617543 - 07/26/13 09:53 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Pics or it didn't happen. OK. It happened. Pics anyway?
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods] 10
#18617552 - 07/26/13 09:55 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Oh man. Another glorious story.
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18617553 - 07/26/13 09:55 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Can't hate on crystal G, people like her probably expanded consciousness in the stone ages
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The5thElement
Smile Friends :)



Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 4,675
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Konyap]
#18617570 - 07/26/13 09:59 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
aiyobro said: Can't hate on crystal G, people like her probably expanded consciousness in the stone ages
I thought this was very funny
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18617572 - 07/26/13 09:59 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: Pics or it didn't happen. OK. It happened. Pics anyway?
Fuck I wish I could take pics dude, I was so fucked up I couldn't even work my phone at the time.
My best friend said he really needed to find a way to make some quick money, so we were trying to look up people who needed male escorts on Craigslist. Yea dude, we are both pretty fucking nasty and dirty low-lifes who are pretty much down to do ANYTHING strange for some change. I was like, "Dude if you find a sugar daddy for the right amount of money let me get in on dat!!! He can have both of us, the best of both worlds!" LMFAO
I remember being on a GOOD one too and thinking it would be a brilliant idea to rob the gas station, because I was CONVINCED we would get away with it, but my friend managed to talk me out of it.
So I was on Craigslist on my phone, I remember I clicked on like three links before I gave up and handed my phone to him, because I couldn't even read any of the ads. I could not work my computer or my phone for SHIT, and I can even work my phone just fine on mushrooms, so I was reaaaaaaaaalllllllly fucked up.
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods] 1
#18617591 - 07/26/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: Pics or it didn't happen. OK. It happened. Pics anyway?

Always good to hear from you CG, never a dull post.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Psychotria
Acaciagrapher



Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 532
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18617610 - 07/26/13 10:07 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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--------------------
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VivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(



Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Psychotria]
#18617682 - 07/26/13 10:27 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Crystal
Ive had some serious experience with somas back in high school hahaha those fucking things I swear to God
Hahahahahaja
I'm drunk excuse me
--------------------
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: VivaLaMushie] 5
#18617685 - 07/26/13 10:27 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
VivaLaMushie said: Crystal
Ive had some serious experience with somas back in high school hahaha those fucking things I swear to God
Hahahahahaja
I'm drunk excuse me
yeah, that was totally over the line.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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ch1ck3n.s0up
Troubled Loner



Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
Loc: Hunting Fungi
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods] 1
#18617767 - 07/26/13 10:53 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: Pics or it didn't happen. OK. It happened. Pics anyway?
Um, no pics necessary on this one.
-------------------- "Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station "Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.
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VivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(



Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
#18617913 - 07/26/13 11:52 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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What?
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Nabuca
Stranger



Registered: 03/21/13
Posts: 306
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: VivaLaMushie]
#18618028 - 07/27/13 12:43 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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This thread capped off my night right. Haha...go to it.
--------------------

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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#18618063 - 07/27/13 01:00 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: We went in on a quarter ounce of crack
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Corporal Kielbasa


Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18618074 - 07/27/13 01:04 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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haha
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Anonymous #1
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Oh, and he said the testosterone is making my clitoris suuuuuuuuper big, I mean not big like a mini penis or anything , but it's suuuuuper swollen and looks INCREDIBLY horny. I get off to having such a swole clit lol, it's so fucking sexy!
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Psychotria
Acaciagrapher



Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 532
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18618345 - 07/27/13 03:53 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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--------------------
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Chowder963
954-867-5309



Registered: 01/31/10
Posts: 4,768
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18618393 - 07/27/13 04:22 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#18618433 - 07/27/13 04:45 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
koods said: Pics or it didn't happen. OK. It happened. Pics anyway?
Fuck I wish I could take pics dude, I was so fucked up I couldn't even work my phone at the time.
Sounds like the right state of mind to put your fist into someone's asshole. It wouldn't be the first person to end up not being able to poop normally for the rest of his life this way.
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 4 months, 28 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koraks]
#18618449 - 07/27/13 04:50 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yeah I've heard some pretty serious warnings about anal fisting. You're best bro must be a seasoned veteran
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koraks]
#18618472 - 07/27/13 05:06 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
koods said: Pics or it didn't happen. OK. It happened. Pics anyway?
Fuck I wish I could take pics dude, I was so fucked up I couldn't even work my phone at the time.
Sounds like the right state of mind to put your fist into someone's asshole. It wouldn't be the first person to end up not being able to poop normally for the rest of his life this way.
You're too late to be the party pooper - Crystal already made one.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18618477 - 07/27/13 05:09 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hey, give me some credit, I was pretty damn gentle with his asshole considering my entire fist was up there. I was literally massaging his prostate (and sensually I might add!), not like pumping away with brute force or anything.
And besides, this is the type of humongous shit that he sticks up HIS OWN asshole all the time. I couldn't even fit this in my vagina without it hurting, I don't know how he gets off to stretching his own shit like that 

edit: HOLY JESUS, I just saw a chick getting anally fisted WHILE her rectum was prolapsed. Holy goddamn that was so fucking nasty I think I almost puked a little... WTF...
Edited by Crystal G (07/27/13 05:21 AM)
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18618543 - 07/27/13 05:58 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
edit: HOLY JESUS, I just saw a chick getting anally fisted WHILE her rectum was prolapsed. Holy goddamn that was so fucking nasty I think I almost puked a little... WTF...
Was your arm involved?
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Gorlax



Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,697
Last seen: 13 days, 2 hours
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18618570 - 07/27/13 06:18 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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an entire fist in someone's ass..
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18618585 - 07/27/13 06:26 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said:
Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
koods said: Pics or it didn't happen. OK. It happened. Pics anyway?
Fuck I wish I could take pics dude, I was so fucked up I couldn't even work my phone at the time.
Sounds like the right state of mind to put your fist into someone's asshole. It wouldn't be the first person to end up not being able to poop normally for the rest of his life this way.
You're too late to be the party pooper - Crystal already made one.
That's a really shitty thing to say.
Quote:
Crystal G said: Hey, give me some credit
It's not about you; it's that some people actually read these kind of things and then think the human body is like a rubber doll or something. If anal fisting makes you happy, by all means, go ahead.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koraks] 2
#18618740 - 07/27/13 07:33 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
koods said:
Quote:
koraks said: Sounds like the right state of mind to put your fist into someone's asshole. It wouldn't be the first person to end up not being able to poop normally for the rest of his life this way.
You're too late to be the party pooper - Crystal already made one.
That's a really shitty thing to say.
I don't give a crap!
(We are making puns, aren't we?)
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
Edited by koods (07/27/13 07:34 AM)
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18618805 - 07/27/13 08:05 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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I tried to fist an X once. I was goin at it - from one to two to three to four. never was able to get past the knuckle-region. damn hands!
i wanted to be wrist deep in that shit
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deadwk
00101011


Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 8,890
Loc: Canada, eh?
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: memes]
#18619061 - 07/27/13 09:54 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Fuck yea Crystal!!
Another brilliant post hahahaha
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: memes] 1
#18619062 - 07/27/13 09:54 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 4 months, 28 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#18619461 - 07/27/13 12:01 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Now I've gotten the urge to fist a girl...
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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Apostle
Philanthropist



Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18620051 - 07/27/13 02:56 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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i don't care what anyone says. fisting is hot as fuck.
Goood for you crystal, your stories never cease to give me an erection.Well, except the working out ones, lol.
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 4 months, 28 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Apostle]
#18620058 - 07/27/13 02:57 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hologram said: Goood for you crystal, your stories never cease to give me an erection.Well, except the working out ones, lol.
Those are the hottest ones! I'd love to fuck a girl while she's working on her biceps
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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Apostle
Philanthropist



Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Acaterpillar]
#18620068 - 07/27/13 02:59 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Dr.Dankhead
Uhh...doctor gonzo?



Registered: 03/29/13
Posts: 5,187
Loc: Breathing down your neck
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Psychotria]
#18620083 - 07/27/13 03:02 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychotria said:

--------------------
**need a check up?** **im a Doctor**
         i sometimes wish I was a wormy, wiggling all in the cold dirt...tickle tackle pickle dickle think a mackshift thought of broken words broken gears and words of conundrums..I'm not a weiner doctor so take that shit to dr. Gonz free boob inplant consultations.. Photo required
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GreySatyr
Pagan-Psyche

Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Dr.Dankhead] 2
#18621005 - 07/27/13 07:49 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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I wonder how one would react had they walked in on that with a head full of acid...
-------------------- ...also, go to hell, huh?
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Shroomerited


Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 1,974
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: GreySatyr]
#18621702 - 07/27/13 11:13 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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My life will never be as awesome as yours.
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GreySatyr
Pagan-Psyche

Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Shroomerited] 1
#18623308 - 07/28/13 10:42 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Who wants to smoke crack and fist a guys ass, dude?...
I'm not judging, I'm just saying.
-------------------- ...also, go to hell, huh?
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: GreySatyr]
#18623310 - 07/28/13 10:42 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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I had the shits yesterday and I thought about that guys asshole and I just thought wtf...
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danlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....



Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Konyap]
#18623409 - 07/28/13 11:05 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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You sure know how to have fun crystal! I always wondered if guys who enjoy having large objects shoved up their asses think they are gay or not.
-------------------- "Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"
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robbyberto
Water Boy



Registered: 05/11/06
Posts: 15,502
Loc: Netherlands
Last seen: 29 days, 3 hours
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: danlennon3]
#18623483 - 07/28/13 11:20 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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I can't enough, crystal g. I want to talk to you on the phone some time if that would be cool with you. Zappa will vouch for me. Pris #1 might as well.
-------------------- “People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: robbyberto]
#18623506 - 07/28/13 11:24 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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You want something large up your ass too...?? J/K
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: danlennon3]
#18623512 - 07/28/13 11:26 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
danlennon3 said: You sure know how to have fun crystal! I always wondered if guys who enjoy having large objects shoved up their asses think they are gay or not.
Probably depends entirely on whether or not they're attracted to men in a sexual nature.
Because otherwise, its just sexual stimulation.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18623520 - 07/28/13 11:27 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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hot sex loving chick that could scissor me to death. Crystal, you are one of a kind.
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blitzd
a Stranger


Registered: 07/08/13
Posts: 197
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: akira_akuma] 1
#18624203 - 07/28/13 02:15 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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My horse Able wants in on your BFFs hole. 300 bucks. Meet me at my ranch.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: akira_akuma]
#18624273 - 07/28/13 02:30 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
akira_akuma said: hot sex loving chick that could scissor me to death. Crystal, you are one of a kind.
Is that what Crystal was describing here?
Quote:
It felt so good I was practically seizuring each time in his face.
Or maybe that is kind of a vibrating scissor thing?
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18624331 - 07/28/13 02:43 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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OZA
When the going gets weird.....



Registered: 03/29/12
Posts: 3,808
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18624461 - 07/28/13 03:18 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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LOL Crystal G you're awesome. I love these posts
-------------------- The happiness consists in realizing that it is all a great strange dream.
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danlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....



Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18624737 - 07/28/13 04:36 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said:
Quote:
akira_akuma said: hot sex loving chick that could scissor me to death. Crystal, you are one of a kind.
Is that what Crystal was describing here?
Quote:
It felt so good I was practically seizuring each time in his face.
Or maybe that is kind of a vibrating scissor thing?
One wrong move(or right move depending on how you look at it) and crystal could cut your head off!
-------------------- "Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: blitzd] 2
#18626297 - 07/28/13 10:44 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
blitzd said: My horse Able wants in on your BFFs hole. 300 bucks. Meet me at my ranch. 
Dude, that reminds me, I have to post THE FUNNIEST SHIT ever!!!!
So, my best friend apparently TOTALED his car on the freeway driving back home from my place last time he was here. It's weird, he got a good night's sleep and hadn't taken any drugs since he woke up, so I thought he was totally fine to drive. Apparently his car did a flip and he was going like 80mph on the freeway, and his car is so totaled he can't even repair it or drive it anymore... but of COURSE my best friend walks out of the accident without even a scratch on his body. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!!! That's always the way it is with both of us, I swear... we do the dumbest shit and totally should have died multiple times, but somehow we walk away without ever getting hurt in the process. I don't even know why either of us is still alive, it's not like we're doing anything meaningful with our lives. 
Anyway, when he was at the hospital, his parents showed up and they found out that he had cocaine and benzo's show positive in his blood, so they are basically forcing him into a 3 month rehab program starting Monday.
So, he came over to my place for the weekend to do one last run with me. I didn't want to go in on any crack because I'm trying to stay away from that (no joke, I probably spent like $2 grand on that stuff this past month, it was getting pretty fucking bad dude). So we ended up getting a $20 sack of H and each did one shot. I also did mushrooms and we were both doing whippits.
Well, after he did his shot of H he started opening up to me and telling me THE FUNNIEST FUCKING STORY!!!!!!
He was like, "This one time, when I was 18, my parents sent me to this rehab that was way out in the desert on this ranch. And one night, really late at night, I saw this donkey on the ranch that had a HUUUUUUUUUGE 2 foot long dick!!!! I was staring at that, and I wanted it so bad in my ass, that I walked right up to the donkey and started jacking him off. I even started sucking him off, to try to get him hard! I had a fucking donkey dick in my mouth, dude!!!! I was completely sober too when I did that shit. Can you believe that?" 
I was like, "SO DID YOU TAKE THAT TWO FOOT DICK UP YOUR BUTT OR WHAT!!!!!!!" 
He was like, "No, this fucking horse just came out of nowhere and started butting my hand away with his head. I think it knew what I was doing and didn't like what I was doing to the donkey. He kept cock-blocking me and I was afraid he was going to attack me so I had to step away. FUCK I wanted that dick so bad in my ass you don't even know!!!! It was HUUUUUUUUUGE dude!!!!!!"
I was fucking DYING laughing my ass off at his story, my sides hurt SO FUCKING BAD LMAO'ing to that story. GOD, WHAT THE FUCK. I fucking LOVE my best friend, he is straight up the male version of me. And you know what I said in return?
I was like, "Don't feel bad dude, I remember this one time, in high school, I straight up put peanut butter on my pussy and tried to have my siberian husky lick it off. It didn't feel good at all, but who knows, if shit ended up working out between us, I totally would have been banging my dog on the side all the time! And, I would totally be down to get in on some donkey dick with you! Let's make that shit happen, brah!!!" 
Oh, I have a picture of him shooting up some subutex in his dick too. I might post it after I get out of the shower. Just thought I'd share that hilarious story with you guys. Fuck I am going to miss that guy sooooo much while he's in rehab. 3 months without my BFF and his crazy antics, WTF am I going to dooooooooooooo!!!!!
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G] 4
#18626314 - 07/28/13 10:47 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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I don't know how anyone you know has lived into adulthood.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18626392 - 07/28/13 10:59 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18626395 - 07/28/13 10:59 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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My friend sold crack and he sold like .1's, .2's.
Crystal G banging out seven gram rocks.
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18626422 - 07/28/13 11:03 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
WTF am I going to dooooooooooooo!!!!!
MAYBE YOU SHOULD DON'T
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PanzerCubed




Registered: 11/22/12
Posts: 2,285
Loc: Nauru
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18626492 - 07/28/13 11:16 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: "No, this fucking horse just came out of nowhere and started butting my hand away with his head. I think it knew what I was doing and didn't like what I was doing to the donkey. He kept cock-blocking me and I was afraid he was going to attack me so I had to step away.
Another great thread, cant wait to see what else goes down with you CrystalG
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: PanzerCubed]
#18626535 - 07/28/13 11:27 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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who doesn't like to be shredded into Swiss Cheese?
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: akira_akuma] 3
#18626581 - 07/28/13 11:38 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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DAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!! The test is making my clit fucking HUUUUUUUUGEEEEE! I just sent these picture to my best friend.
This is the before picture of my clit.

And this is after.

Bear in mind, in both of these pictures, I am not horny so my clit isn't even hard or swollen or aroused. So can you imagine how much bigger and redder it gets when I actually AM horny? Damn son, even my clit has a fucking pump!!!! I LOVE IT, I think it's sexy as hell that I have a big clit like that, it looks like I'm horny and ready for penetration 24/7.
Oh, and here's the picture of my best friend shooting subs in his dick. 
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18626635 - 07/28/13 11:50 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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holy Wigglesworth, i'd buy that for a dollar.
looks plump and delectable. (ps: nice shave job.)
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 4 months, 28 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: PanzerCubed]
#18626641 - 07/28/13 11:52 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
PanzerCubed said:
Quote:
Crystal G said: "No, this fucking horse just came out of nowhere and started butting my hand away with his head. I think it knew what I was doing and didn't like what I was doing to the donkey. He kept cock-blocking me and I was afraid he was going to attack me so I had to step away.
Another great thread, cant wait to see what else goes down with you CrystalG 
I think that was the best story I've read from Crystal G. Maybe it's because I used to be a horse caretaker.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Acaterpillar]
#18626654 - 07/28/13 11:55 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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The way the panties are shifted in that first pic, I thought you had an extra verginey growing on your leg.
Quote:
Acaterpillar said:. Maybe it's because I used to be a horse caretaker.
Wink, wink?
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
Edited by koods (07/28/13 11:56 PM)
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 4 months, 28 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18626668 - 07/28/13 11:57 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: The way the panties are shifted in that first pic, I thought you had an extra verginey growing on your leg.

I thought the exact same thing. It took me a few seconds to figure out what was really going on, but I figured it was because of the mxe.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Acaterpillar]
#18626688 - 07/29/13 12:01 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Acaterpillar said:
Quote:
koods said: The way the panties are shifted in that first pic, I thought you had an extra verginey growing on your leg.

I thought the exact same thing. It took me a few seconds to figure out what was really going on, but I figured it was because of the mxe.
I'm surprised I knew it wasn't supposed to be where I thought it was.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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woodstock shaman



Registered: 03/13/10
Posts: 251
Loc: new york
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18626787 - 07/29/13 12:25 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: We went in on a quarter ounce of crack, and I was popping soma's all throughout the night, all in all I must have popped like at least 20 soma's, I was FUUUUUCKKKKKKEDDDDD UP. My best friend said that was THE MOST fucked up he had ever seen me in his life.
And by the way, soma's and crack are THE MOST AMAZING combination ever. It feels even better than heroin and crack. It felt like I took GHB and ecstasy at the same time, I was actually getting eye-wiggles and moaning and panting and even getting empathetic and touchy-feely and wanting to cuddle puddle every time I took a hit of the rock. And of course I was all loose and saying and doing shit I normally wouldn't do sober.
We went down on each other while the other one was taking fat hits of crack. It felt so good I was practically seizuring each time in his face. He stuck a vibrator in me and even though there was no way in hell I could cum, each pump felt like one long SUPER INTENSE orgasm.
I know my BFF likes shit in his butt, and I know he's a size queen who likes BIGGGGGGG shit up his butt. So I put a condom over my entire hand, and started out with two fingers. Two fingers eventually became three, then four, and then I thought, "What the hey" and just SHOVED my entire fist up his asshole. My ENTIRE FIST, CLOSED FIST BY THE WAY, all the way to my wrist, was engulfed deep inside his asshole.
I was soooo surprised by how EASILY it slid in there LMFAO!!!!!! I was like, "BRO YOU HAVE THE LOOSEST BUTTHOLE EVER" 
Bro LOVED IT too! I can't believe it didn't even hurt him! That dude has an amazing asshole that was meant for porn. He was squealing and moaning so hard with ecstasy, he didn't even realize that my entire fist was actually up his asshole until I told him and he looked down. He was like, "HOLY SHIT!!!!!!" 
Wow. That was my first time ever fisting somebody, and I'm honored that my best friend was a part of it.
Yeah, disgusting.
-------------------- ZEITGEIST
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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This thread, so far, in one picture:
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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PanzerCubed




Registered: 11/22/12
Posts: 2,285
Loc: Nauru
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18627221 - 07/29/13 03:57 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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minus the lube and your spot on
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: PanzerCubed]
#18627226 - 07/29/13 04:11 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
PanzerCubed said:

minus the lube and your spot on
Wanna know another secret? He doesn't have his arm in the horse's ass.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18627322 - 07/29/13 05:48 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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great thread. got even better
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mindapparatus
Familiar Stranger



Registered: 08/05/12
Posts: 225
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: memes]
#18628354 - 07/29/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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I need to be a part of this one too
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ravenfeeder
Wherever I May Grow



Registered: 01/29/13
Posts: 238
Loc: South Africa
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: mindapparatus]
#18628685 - 07/29/13 12:40 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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You deserve a slow and painful death
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: ravenfeeder]
#18628846 - 07/29/13 01:15 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
ravenfeeder said: You deserve a slow and painful death 

Slow painful deaths for everybody!
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Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18629461 - 07/29/13 03:07 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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yer a maverick G
--------------------
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blitzd
a Stranger


Registered: 07/08/13
Posts: 197
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Hakim0777]
#18629499 - 07/29/13 03:15 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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DAYUM thats DRASTIC.
Can your BFF not get a prostate orgasm anymore from having all this ass abuse?
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Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: blitzd]
#18629516 - 07/29/13 03:18 PM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Anal abuse: the best kind of abuse
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Hakim0777]
#18632363 - 07/30/13 02:42 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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So I guess my best friend has refused to go to rehab, and is going to try to make it on his own somehow with no car. His whole family's cut him off and refuses to talk to him. He's already found a job in the city that I live in, and this city's bus systems are so good he won't need a car. So I'm letting him stay at my pad for about a month until he can save up money to rent a room somewhere. I know these weekly motels that only cost $125 a week to stay at, it's the perfect place for somebody with no furniture or belongings.
He seems pretty determined to get his life back on track and stay sober and just do steroids, so hopefully we won't be getting fucked up too much around each other.
We're going to be hitting up a tranny bar this Thursday. I'll definitely have to post updates once we get there.
Oh BTW, I texted him the picture of the dude fisting the horse's ass, and his response was: "OMFG that's awesome!!!!!!!! hahahahhaahhaha"
He said he wants to take it easy on his butthole too, because he wants to be able to shit normally still when he's 30. He said that on tweak he would DESTROY his butthole for HOURS, he would literally be stretching shit so fat in there that eventually his asshole would tear and start bleeding. LOL WTF!!!!!! Hard to believe he's still only in his early 20's and way younger than me, that dude is going to be the gnarliest grandpa someday.
Edited by Crystal G (07/30/13 02:50 AM)
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18632510 - 07/30/13 05:15 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: Hard to believe he's still only in his early 20's and way younger than me, that dude is going to be the gnarliest grandpa someday. 
Ive met a few people with the "go hard" mentality. Your friend seems to have it. You too.
Mindfuck Grandpa is here to tell stories again!
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: memes]
#18632525 - 07/30/13 05:33 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
meams said:
Quote:
Crystal G said: Hard to believe he's still only in his early 20's and way younger than me, that dude is going to be the gnarliest grandpa someday. 
Ive met a few people with the "go hard" mentality. Your friend seems to have it. You too.
Mindfuck Grandpa is here to tell stories again!
God, we would be the worst parents ever. Every story I would tell my teenager would begin with "So mommy was a big slut in high school..."
My kid would be like some nerdy little typical Asian dweeb that's super into studying, and I'd probably be one of those parents that's way fucking cooler than their kids. I'd be driving them somewhere and point to this park and be like, "Dude, I tag-teamed two trannies right there!" They'd be like "MOM, STOPPPP, OMFG YOU'RE SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING!!!!" 
The scary thing is, my best friend actually has a baby. Had her at age 21 with an 18y/o chick. He never sees his kid, because I guess the mom wants nothing to do with him.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18633105 - 07/30/13 10:09 AM (10 years, 7 months ago) |
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It would be even better if the kid was conceived with one of the trannies in the park
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89] 1
#18641494 - 07/31/13 09:03 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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OMG YES. So of COURSE the first thing me and my BFF do is go on a 2-day crack and soma binge the second he comes over. I just filled a 90-count soma prescription like a week ago and somehow I only have 40 left now. It's cool, I only went through like 50 in a week. 
OH GOD, and we both had THE PERFECT combo of drugs in our system to make sex feel fucking INCREDIBLE. He ate my pussy and fingered me for at least an hour, and I was in ECSTASY having eye-wiggles and it felt like I was cumming the entire time. My body and legs were actually seizuring and shaking the whole time because it felt so intense. I was teaching him and instructing him exactly how to finger and suck me, it was the best head I've gotten in a REALLY long time, that's for damn sure. It's too bad I was having a hard time cumming cause of the drugs, because I would DEFINITELY have squirted had I actually came. He has been begging me and trying to get me so hard to squirt all over his face. Hasn't happened yet, but who knows.
He said he wanted something up his butt and we were all fucked up and started digging around my room trying to find random stuff to stick up there. He grabbed this spray bottle of Raid and was like "This would work" and I was like "....maybe it's not a good idea to stick a can of pesticides up your butt bro."
Couldn't find anything else with a smooth round edge, so I stuck my vibrating magic bullet in his butthole and then chased it with my fist in there right after it. I was full-on dominating him, spitting on his body and his face, calling him a worthless slut, grabbing him by the hair and smashing his face in the wall, punching him in the chest, slapping his face... he fucking LOVED it too. He squealed out "OOOMMMMGGGGG I LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU" while I was fisting him and doing all this shit. 
I ate his butthole out too and sucked on his balls at the same time, and he was having the same seizure/shaking reaction I did.
This is fucking awesome having him stay at my place, it's like having my own personal sex slave. All I have to do is say I'm horny and he goes down on me and services me. He says he loves sucking on that big swollen steroid clit of mine. And on top of that, he gave me his $1200 audio sound system for letting him stay at my place, I now have subwoofers in my car and am going to be bumping THE SICKEST dnb and liquid dub in it now. 
And today, we were shopping for food at the grocery store today and walked by the seafood section and he said (in a pretty loud voice) to me "Wanna stick those crab legs up my butt?" And some middle-aged dude totally heard him and looked at both of us with this NASTY look shaking his head at us. LMFAO
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18641636 - 07/31/13 09:39 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: He seems pretty determined to get his life back on track and stay sober and just do steroids, so hopefully we won't be getting fucked up too much around each other.
Quote:
Crystal G said: OMG YES. So of COURSE the first thing me and my BFF do is go on a 2-day crack and soma binge the second he comes over. 
Haven't even read the rest of the update. This was too good not to simulquote
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18641698 - 07/31/13 09:54 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
He said he wanted something up his butt and we were all fucked up and started digging around my room trying to find random stuff to stick up there. He grabbed this spray bottle of Raid and was like "This would work" and I was like "....maybe it's not a good idea to stick a can of pesticides up your butt bro."

These threads are too damn good
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18641711 - 07/31/13 09:57 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
and sucked on his balls
That shit is one of my favorites :nod: I'm not a big fan of blowjobs but the balls love being played with
You guys are crazy though, sometime or another someone's going to spontaneously combust or get struck by lightning. Have you done appropriate sacrifices to the old gods? Maybe try killing a goat before your next escapade
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18641740 - 07/31/13 10:05 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
And today, we were shopping for food at the grocery store today and walked by the seafood section and he said (in a pretty loud voice) to me "Wanna stick those crab legs up my butt?" And some middle-aged dude totally heard him and looked at both of us with this NASTY look shaking his head at us. LMFAO 
now thats funny
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: memes]
#18641849 - 07/31/13 10:30 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Crystal g your threads are awesome ur a real character
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Sheekle]
#18642115 - 07/31/13 11:56 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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I found Crystal G's heaven
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Konyap]
#18642581 - 08/01/13 05:04 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Oh yeah, I forgot to add that he actually had an orgasm while my fist was in his butt. And no joke, there was SO MUCH AIR stuck up his butt that he let out THE GNARLIEST and juiciest ass-queef afterwards, I just about died hysterically laughing when he pushed it out. YES SO AWESOME LOL!!!!
Oh, and we both spent some time looking up elephant, donkey, and horse penis pictures, and came across this photo of this cop getting rammed LOL. I can only imagine this is like my best friend's fantasy.
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18642609 - 08/01/13 05:27 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Wow that picture is gross
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Constantine
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)



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Re:Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89] 1
#18642695 - 08/01/13 06:19 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
He seems pretty determined to get his life back on track and stay sober and just do steroids
I am tempted to add this quote to my signature
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Psychotria
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18644393 - 08/01/13 03:00 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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koods
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18644416 - 08/01/13 03:04 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: Oh yeah, I forgot to add that he actually had an orgasm while my fist was in his butt. And no joke, there was SO MUCH AIR stuck up his butt that he let out THE GNARLIEST and juiciest ass-queef afterwards, I just about died hysterically laughing when he pushed it out. YES SO AWESOME LOL!!!!
Oh, and we both spent some time looking up elephant, donkey, and horse penis pictures, and came across this photo of this cop getting rammed LOL. I can only imagine this is like my best friend's fantasy.

That cop is lucky the horse is white (mostly)
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blitzd
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18650380 - 08/02/13 04:36 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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^^ Thats what most cops deserve anyway.
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urbannerd
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18651044 - 08/02/13 06:58 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: I can only imagine this is like my best friend's fantasy.

dont let him do that haha he'll end up like the guy from the "2 guys 1 horse" films and get rammed so hard it tore through to his stomach and died.
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Soaking in the energy of the universe since '91
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: urbannerd]
#18651656 - 08/02/13 08:52 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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So I came across quite a bit of money this weekend and didn't have jack shit to do for the next 2 days, so my BFF and I went in on like 5g of rock. Everything was going good until he started coming down around 9am.
Wow man, he started freaking the fuck out. He was straight up telling me how guilty he feels as a Christian for doing all this fucked up shit with me. He was like "What the fuck am I doing, I'm fucking doing drugs all the fucking time and I have a 1 year old daughter, I feel like the stuff that I do with my butthole is wrong because sodomy is condemned in the bible, I don't want to work as a bartender at the gay bar anymore because it's fucking shameful and I have pride as a straight man, I am such a scumbag and dirtbag who lies to everybody and steals money from my parents who bend over backwards for me... I mean JESUS CHRIST, I just survived a car accident that should have killed me, my car did 3 flips on the freeway and the entire top of the car was crushed and all my windows shattered, and I'm fucking laughing in god's face by smoking crack like this, bla bla bla... God my life is so messed up. I miss my daughter so much, I almost want to settle down and make another baby just to replace her." Just an hour long rant of all the shit that has gone wrong with his life and how he has done absolutely nothing productive since age 15.
I was like, "Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my friend?" Honestly some of the shit he was spewing straight up SURPRISED me, because this is the guy that's usually down for ANYTHING. And he has guilt and shame about it?!?!!??!? WTFFFFF
I told him, "I don't see anything wrong with parents doing drugs as long as they don't do it in their kids' presence and the kid has a sitter while you play. And the stuff you are doing with your butt isn't wrong, sodomy also includes oral sex and sex outside of marriage. And who cares, you're just a fucking bartender at a bar, who cares if it's a gay bar or not and whether your parents will disown you or not. But yea, the stealing from your parents is pretty scummy dude... As for staying sober, yea we really should be more productive with our lives."
He had a major freakout and called his uncle crying about how he's in this strange new city with no car and no money and how everything is so messed up because he has no family here. His uncle had to come and pick him up, so I guess he's living with his uncle now? Oh well, my roommates were starting to hate him after a week of him staying anyway. He is one of the most loudest, obnoxious motherfuckers, and he would stay up till 4am being obnoxiously loud and waking up the roommates constantly. I'm pretty sure they've heard our late night conversations about sucking off donkey dick, fucking trannies, shooting H, and smoking crack while we are smoking out on the front porch. Wonder what my roommates think of me now.
Edited by Crystal G (08/02/13 10:36 PM)
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18651670 - 08/02/13 08:54 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: and I'm pretty sure they've heard our late night conversations about fucking donkeys, fucking trannies, shooting H, and smoking crack while we are smoking out on the front porch." 
Yeah that's always a pain, having roommates. At least you got one less on your hands
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The5thElement
Smile Friends :)



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18652700 - 08/03/13 12:47 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sounds like things just kinda came down on him at once, he was probably ignoring a lot of stuff thats been bothering him. I don't think he should feel bad about sodomy though 
Although I'm not cheering him on to stick a bottle of raid up his ass either
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: The5thElement]
#18653066 - 08/03/13 03:57 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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I mean this is the same dude who bragged about fucking a Jewish girl while watching Schindler's List, and then bragged again about going through an 8-ball of coke while partying in Vegas and getting rammed by a tranny hooker with an 8-inch dick. The dude is sick and perverted as hell, but he feels shame about working as a bartender at a club because it's a gay club? I swear religious people are so fucking weird and hypocritical man, I will never understand it. It's like Ted Haggart, that politician who's against gay marriage and then buys male escorts to party and play on tweak with.
Edited by Crystal G (08/03/13 04:11 AM)
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Chowder963
954-867-5309



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18653119 - 08/03/13 04:39 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Just curious? Do you ever think about getting clean and living a less crazy lifestyle or do you love it and will never stop? You have some pretty interesting things to say lol..
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Chowder963] 1
#18653138 - 08/03/13 04:54 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Chowder963 said: Just curious? Do you ever think about getting clean and living a less crazy lifestyle or do you love it and will never stop? You have some pretty interesting things to say lol..
I go through phases. I get clean for a few years and live a pretty mundane and boring life. Then something inside of me snaps and I fall back into old habits for a bit. I just can't see myself ever settling down with a husband and kids after the lifestyle I've lived, I mean come on. Would I even be happy with so much responsibility? Maybe if it was a swinger marriage and my husband loved the drugs too. But that would just end in a complete disaster. Although I guess a normal marriage could easily end in disaster as well.
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Chowder963
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G] 1
#18653146 - 08/03/13 04:58 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well good luck, sounds like once you do a random cleanup you should meet a nice guy who will be there for you to keep you into having a steady life.
But theres nothing wrong with just wanting to party, the crack thing that you said though kinda threw me off. Thats not really all that great.
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Chowder963] 1
#18653169 - 08/03/13 05:23 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Chowder963 said: But theres nothing wrong with just wanting to party, the crack thing that you said though kinda threw me off. Thats not really all that great.
Yea, recently I am doing it way more often than I should be. I tend to get into these phases where I isolate and don't want to socialize with any of my friends and go out and be productive, and instead get high all alone. Like I'm escaping from something or something, but I don't know what. My best friend is the only one I do hard drugs with. I don't even know why I do it, I'm so much more outgoing and have an unafraid, outgoing personality when I'm sober. Crack just gives me anxiety and makes me withdraw into myself and turn into an introvert. I don't like it. I am missing something in my life but I can't pinpoint exactly what it is. I guess I am still getting over my last serious breakup, because I think about him all the time when I do crack. What he would think, and how heartbroken he would be, and all that. We went through some SERIOUS shit that I can't ever speak publicly on the forums. And that is the most blunt truth you will ever hear from me.
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OZA
When the going gets weird.....



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G] 1
#18654200 - 08/03/13 11:55 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Meh I think anybody in that guy's position would eventually have the same breakdown. You can't just keep going that hard. Some of the shit you say that he does is straight up weird. Is there a chance he's chasing you as something more than a FWB? Some guys get lost in love and just take a peak outside in the middle of it all and realize how fucked up the situation is. As I'm sure you know, we're not the most rational people when we like a girl.. Reading through a bit of the thread, it kind of seems a bit like that. Maybe not, he does seem fucked up in general.
Anyway, good luck with your whole situation. Crack is no way of getting over a breakup. I know people say don't trip when you're getting over somebody, but maybe having a light trip with a good platonic friend could help you sort your issues out a bit.
-------------------- The happiness consists in realizing that it is all a great strange dream.
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: OZA]
#18656866 - 08/04/13 12:16 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
OZA said: Meh I think anybody in that guy's position would eventually have the same breakdown. You can't just keep going that hard. Some of the shit you say that he does is straight up weird. Is there a chance he's chasing you as something more than a FWB? Some guys get lost in love and just take a peak outside in the middle of it all and realize how fucked up the situation is. As I'm sure you know, we're not the most rational people when we like a girl.. Reading through a bit of the thread, it kind of seems a bit like that. Maybe not, he does seem fucked up in general.
The dude is definitely not in love with me and definitely would not date me. I mean the guy is pretty racist (according to him, Asians and blacks are the coolest and funniest, while he hates Arabs and Mexicans the most). Even though he would fuck any decent-looking girl of any race, I doubt he would actually ever consider dating or settling down with somebody outside of his race. Plus he tells me all the time he does not want to date for a LONG time, because he has such a hard time getting along and finding common interests with normal women. He's more of a "hit it and quit it" kinda guy.
I can understand why he feels guilt about his daughter and parents, that is pretty scummy, the fact that he's a deadbeat dad and stole like $6 grand from his own parents. Shit, if I was his mom, I would have knocked him the fuck out years ago. I mean 6 grand??!?!?? And he spent it all on CRACK!??!?!? My mom would beat the fucking shit out of me if I took 20 bucks out of her pocket. The guy deserves to get an ass-whooping of a lifetime, but his parents are sissy suburban white folks who apparently don't do that. lol. White people, man. That's one thing I always envied growing up, is not having white parents, precisely for that reason. hahahaha
No joke, if I was his mom, shit would go down exactly like this. I've even told him numerous times, "Dude, if I was your mom, I would beat THE FUCK out of you." He even admits, "I know, and I totally deserve it too."
But some of the other stuff didn't make sense to me, like feeling shame about liking stuff up his butt or working at the gay bar. He was even telling me stuff like "My parents would disown me if they ever found out I was working at a gay bar, even as a bartender. And I can't help but feel shame. I would be so disappointed if any of my kids turned out gay." I mean damn, he kinda almost offended me with that comment. It's amazing the effects religion has psychologically and sexually on people, making them feel guilty about things they really don't need to be tripping at all about.
Edited by Crystal G (08/04/13 12:38 AM)
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18657122 - 08/04/13 01:44 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Not sure what you mean by white parents, if white was akin to soft the globe wouldn't be violently dominated by white people 
His parents are weak is all, if anyone stole 6k from me I would tie their ass upside down from the ceiling and beat the shit out of them.
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18657157 - 08/04/13 02:00 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm talking about a specific class of white people. Not the trailer park kind that beats the fuck out of their kids. I'm talking about upper-crust, cushy white parents. You know the kind I'm talking about.
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18657187 - 08/04/13 02:17 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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I know the type that's not a racial issue though, whatever it is. Soft people from the suburbs 
Not sure if you're suggesting I'm from a trailer park, but people come in more than two flavors. The demonstrably cruelest of humans are in positions of power
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18657212 - 08/04/13 02:32 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said: I know the type that's not a racial issue though, whatever it is. Soft people from the suburbs 
Not sure if you're suggesting I'm from a trailer park, but people come in more than two flavors. The demonstrably cruelest of humans are in positions of power
Obviously I am joking about the stereotypes, I am not racist like my friend is. Obviously abuse and violence exists in all classes and races. I'm just making the stereotypes in this post so you get a vague idea of what his parents are like IRL. My mom fits the tiger mom hardass stereotype too; my dad on the other hand, is not at all like a typical Asian parent.
And no, I was not suggesting you were from a trailer park at all. I have no idea what you or your parents are like.
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18657220 - 08/04/13 02:35 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Obviously I am joking about the stereotypes, I am not racist like my friend is. Obviously abuse and violence exists in all classes and races. I'm just making the stereotypes in this post so you get a vague idea of what his parents are like IRL.
And no, I was not suggesting you were from a trailer park at all. I have no idea what you or your parents are like.
I know you're not racist, but I talk to myself and think in the same tedious manner as my responses have been 
Those soft suburban types irk me
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18657237 - 08/04/13 02:45 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Repertoire89 said: I know you're not racist, but I talk to myself and think in the same tedious manner as my responses have been 
Those soft suburban types irk me
Yea, his parents are the types that listen to Fox News and Rush Limbaugh. Boring church-goer types. I have no idea how such parents ended up producing a kid like him. He says his parents were always great to him growing up, and never once laid a hand on him except a few times, he received a light slap on the butt from his dad if he was really bad. It really doesn't make sense to me why he turned out the way that he did. How did he turn into this amoral, experimental, risky, sex and drug fiend? Who does all the stupid shit he does and then just feels guilt and shame about everything he does later on because he's a hardcore Christian? It makes no sense to me whatsoever.
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18657274 - 08/04/13 03:06 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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As I see it we have
Abusive parents Soft parents Parent's who discipline their kids
When I was growing up we'd get savage beatings sometimes, but only when we deserved it and it would keep us in line. The worst kids I've been around were all spoiled, not enough beatings.
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18657379 - 08/04/13 04:51 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well, define worst. What exactly do you mean by worst? Tendency to be ungrateful and entitled? Or tendency to commit crime, particularly violent acts?
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18657385 - 08/04/13 04:53 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Tendency to be rotten inside, ungrateful, disloyal. Its not a universal truth, but among the children I have unfortunately been exposed to the worst were pampered
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Anonymous #2
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18657864 - 08/04/13 08:58 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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I think smacking your kid in the back of the head is just as good of a solution as a savage beating.
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Anonymous #2]
#18657953 - 08/04/13 09:29 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Depends on what they've done, smacking your kid in the back of the head for kicking another kid in the face doesn't send them any kind of message
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koods
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89] 1
#18657982 - 08/04/13 09:39 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said: As I see it we have
Abusive parents Soft parents Parent's who discipline their kids
When I was growing up we'd get savage beatings sometimes, but only when we deserved it and it would keep us in line. The worst kids I've been around were all spoiled, not enough beatings.
Only when you deserved savage beatings? There is no justification whatsoever for savage beatings... Or, beatings of any kind for that matter.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods] 1
#18658103 - 08/04/13 10:20 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said:
Only when you deserved savage beatings? There is no justification whatsoever for savage beatings... Or, beatings of any kind for that matter.
You must have seen very little of the dark side of life to think there are no justifications for beating
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Lynnch
Strangerer



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18658262 - 08/04/13 10:59 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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It's kind of sad that the kids that got beat are always the ones defending the behavior. Of course you thought you deserved it, you were a kid and didn't know anything else.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Lynnch]
#18658457 - 08/04/13 11:55 AM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Uhhhh don't buy birthday presents, send away from dinner table, kick out at 18. If they say something that's ment to offend slap them in the back of the head.
It's not you can go around beating other peoples children....
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koods
Ribbit



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18658647 - 08/04/13 12:37 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
Quote:
koods said:
Only when you deserved savage beatings? There is no justification whatsoever for savage beatings... Or, beatings of any kind for that matter.
You must have seen very little of the dark side of life to think there are no justifications for beating
Beatings are the dark side of life.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods]
#18658718 - 08/04/13 12:51 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Wouldn't trade my early days for anyone else's
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Repertoire89]
#18665165 - 08/05/13 08:08 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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I wouldn't hit a small child, but I see nothing wrong with beating a rambunctious teenager. I'm talking about the kind that go on Maury and brag about beating their parents and prostituting themselves for a cheeseburger and all this shit.
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Konyap

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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18665177 - 08/05/13 08:11 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Crystal G



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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Konyap]
#18665253 - 08/05/13 08:29 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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If my teenager hit me because of something dumb, like taking away their cell phone to teach them some discipline, I am not laying there and taking it. If you go around hitting people, you better be prepared to learn a damn important life lesson: You will be getting your ass handed back to you.
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Konyap

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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G] 1
#18665269 - 08/05/13 08:32 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Konyap

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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Konyap]
#18665271 - 08/05/13 08:32 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Dr. Crapsghetti
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18665355 - 08/05/13 08:55 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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How do you have the freedom to do all of this? I have to find work, go to school, get a career and pay off debts. If I smoked crack all of the time, I'd have no time to take care of these things.
I've dropped out of school before and tried to make it on my own. It wasn't a good experience and I could barely feed myself. I had to steal food from my work just so I could eat.
I've also been arrested and had to do time just for drinking. Now, it's even harder for me to find a job. All I have is school and that's my only way out of a life of labor. I think you're playing with death here and should evaluate the consequences of your actions.
What you're saying, if true, is not a joke.
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Edited by Dr. Crapsghetti (08/05/13 09:03 PM)
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detest86
Psychonaut


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speedballing is dangerous.
soma and crack... dangerous..... and uh, um. eh.......uhhhhhhhh mmm. why not just take some acid or mushrooms, or hell, ketamine
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akira_akuma
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18666033 - 08/05/13 11:34 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
OH GOD, and we both had THE PERFECT combo of drugs in our system to make sex feel fucking INCREDIBLE. He ate my pussy and fingered me for at least an hour, and I was in ECSTASY having eye-wiggles and it felt like I was cumming the entire time. My body and legs were actually seizuring and shaking the whole time because it felt so intense. I was teaching him and instructing him exactly how to finger and suck me, it was the best head I've gotten in a REALLY long time, that's for damn sure. It's too bad I was having a hard time cumming cause of the drugs, because I would DEFINITELY have squirted had I actually came. He has been begging me and trying to get me so hard to squirt all over his face. Hasn't happened yet, but who knows.
He said he wanted something up his butt and we were all fucked up and started digging around my room trying to find random stuff to stick up there. He grabbed this spray bottle of Raid and was like "This would work" and I was like "....maybe it's not a good idea to stick a can of pesticides up your butt bro."
Couldn't find anything else with a smooth round edge, so I stuck my vibrating magic bullet in his butthole and then chased it with my fist in there right after it. I was full-on dominating him, spitting on his body and his face, calling him a worthless slut, grabbing him by the hair and smashing his face in the wall, punching him in the chest, slapping his face... he fucking LOVED it too. He squealed out "OOOMMMMGGGGG I LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU" while I was fisting him and doing all this shit. 
I ate his butthole out too and sucked on his balls at the same time, and he was having the same seizure/shaking reaction I did.
This is fucking awesome having him stay at my place, it's like having my own personal sex slave. All I have to do is say I'm horny and he goes down on me and services me. He says he loves sucking on that big swollen steroid clit of mine. And on top of that, he gave me his $1200 audio sound system for letting him stay at my place, I now have subwoofers in my car and am going to be bumping THE SICKEST dnb and liquid dub in it now. 
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detest86
Psychonaut


Registered: 03/08/11
Posts: 689
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: akira_akuma]
#18675899 - 08/07/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
akira_akuma said:
Quote:
Crystal G said:
OH GOD, and we both had THE PERFECT combo of drugs in our system to make sex feel fucking INCREDIBLE. He ate my pussy and fingered me for at least an hour, and I was in ECSTASY having eye-wiggles and it felt like I was cumming the entire time. My body and legs were actually seizuring and shaking the whole time because it felt so intense. I was teaching him and instructing him exactly how to finger and suck me, it was the best head I've gotten in a REALLY long time, that's for damn sure. It's too bad I was having a hard time cumming cause of the drugs, because I would DEFINITELY have squirted had I actually came. He has been begging me and trying to get me so hard to squirt all over his face. Hasn't happened yet, but who knows.
He said he wanted something up his butt and we were all fucked up and started digging around my room trying to find random stuff to stick up there. He grabbed this spray bottle of Raid and was like "This would work" and I was like "....maybe it's not a good idea to stick a can of pesticides up your butt bro."
Couldn't find anything else with a smooth round edge, so I stuck my vibrating magic bullet in his butthole and then chased it with my fist in there right after it. I was full-on dominating him, spitting on his body and his face, calling him a worthless slut, grabbing him by the hair and smashing his face in the wall, punching him in the chest, slapping his face... he fucking LOVED it too. He squealed out "OOOMMMMGGGGG I LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU" while I was fisting him and doing all this shit. 
I ate his butthole out too and sucked on his balls at the same time, and he was having the same seizure/shaking reaction I did.
This is fucking awesome having him stay at my place, it's like having my own personal sex slave. All I have to do is say I'm horny and he goes down on me and services me. He says he loves sucking on that big swollen steroid clit of mine. And on top of that, he gave me his $1200 audio sound system for letting him stay at my place, I now have subwoofers in my car and am going to be bumping THE SICKEST dnb and liquid dub in it now. 

omg.... proof girls are the same as men....
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: detest86]
#18675962 - 08/07/13 10:56 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Camwritesgonzo
The Unflushable Stool



Registered: 06/09/12
Posts: 2,333
Loc: On Uranus
Last seen: 6 months, 25 days
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
#18773646 - 08/29/13 03:27 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: DAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!! The test is making my clit fucking HUUUUUUUUGEEEEE! I just sent these picture to my best friend.
This is the before picture of my clit.

And this is after.

Bear in mind, in both of these pictures, I am not horny so my clit isn't even hard or swollen or aroused. So can you imagine how much bigger and redder it gets when I actually AM horny? Damn son, even my clit has a fucking pump!!!! I LOVE IT, I think it's sexy as hell that I have a big clit like that, it looks like I'm horny and ready for penetration 24/7.
Is it weird to say I'd let you lock those muscular legs around my head while I titillate that meaty clitty with my tongue? Squirting girlies make my peter fluff up!
-------------------- "I've always maintained that reality is for those who can't face drugs."-Tom Waits "I feel the same way about disco as I feel about herpes."-Hunter S. Thompson A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?
 
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urbannerd
W.TheMushroomTip



Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 997
Loc: California
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Camwritesgonzo] 2
#18773800 - 08/29/13 03:59 PM (10 years, 6 months ago) |
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^smmmmmmmmooooootth
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Soaking in the energy of the universe since '91
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: urbannerd]
#18795236 - 09/03/13 04:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Eventually its gonna look like this
http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v
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Constantine
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)



Registered: 05/01/11
Posts: 4,643
Loc:
Last seen: 4 days, 9 hours
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#18795245 - 09/03/13 04:43 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well that's just wrong.
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Constantine]
#18795475 - 09/03/13 05:33 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Constantine said: Well that's just wrong.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#18795743 - 09/03/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said: Eventually its gonna look like this
http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v

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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: akira_akuma]
#18795781 - 09/03/13 06:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
akira_akuma said:
Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said: Eventually its gonna look like this
http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v


What the fuck. There's a lot of mismatched genitalia talk on the shroomery today.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods] 1
#18864487 - 09/19/13 06:55 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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You know, its funny how my own personal racism takes form. For some reason I just cannot keep it in my head that Crystal G is asian. When somebody does insane, fucked up, crazy shit, I always think of a white girl.
That being said, your BFF having that like quasi-epiphany makes perfect sense to me, especially after coming down from a ton of drugs. I mean, this place isn't exactly where you should go to find perspective on your life. This is like concentrated fuckedupness. And your stories sound made up, I mean I totally believe them because who would make this stuff up, but if somebody asked me how my night was and I wanted to invent some hilarious lie, I couldnt even think of doing the insane, fucked up shit you do.
Like, for me (and I feel like I'm pretty average here) my idea of a super crazy night is I get real drunk with a bunch of people, smoke weed, break a few things while dancing/clowning around, then somebody gets partially naked and runs outside. The shit you do makes that sound like a party for little kids. Its like sin squared. Its like a parents worst nightmare, the kind of shit they don't even cover on Dateline because people would be like "Um, ok, like when the fuck has that happened ever?"
However, having said all that, I agree that Christian guilt is the biggest bullshit ever. Sucking a donkey's dick at one point in your life, then feeling guilty about working in a gay bar? I'm gonna guess that was the comedown talking, but seriously, come on.
Btw, if it makes you feel any better theres a huge difference between getting a dog to lick peanut butter off your puss and sucking a donkey's dick. Like for real, what is that all about?
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#18865179 - 09/19/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said: Eventually its gonna look like this
http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v

I don't think that is natural.
I doubt that those "bits" belong to a genetic female.
It looks like a really small penis!
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: bloodsheen]
#18865189 - 09/19/13 09:08 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
bloodsheen said: Its like sin squared.
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Mr. Material]
#18865293 - 09/19/13 09:32 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
mistermateriel said:
Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said: Eventually its gonna look like this
http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v

I don't think that is natural.
I doubt that those "bits" belong to a genetic female.
It looks like a really small penis! 
They do, they belong to professional level body builders. 100% female, at least before they started lifting weights.
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Mr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#18865308 - 09/19/13 09:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said:
They do, they belong to professional level body builders. 100% female, at least before they started lifting weights.
Interesting... I wonder if they can masturbate with it.
Like inbetween their fingers - not in the conventional way.
-------------------- I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.
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