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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Konyap]
    #18665253 - 08/05/13 08:29 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

If my teenager hit me because of something dumb, like taking away their cell phone to teach them some discipline, I am not laying there and taking it. If you go around hitting people, you better be prepared to learn a damn important life lesson: You will be getting your ass handed back to you.

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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #18665269 - 08/05/13 08:32 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

:derail:

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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Konyap]
    #18665271 - 08/05/13 08:32 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

:lolsy:

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InvisibleDr. Crapsghetti
Peer Educator
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/16/13
Posts: 602
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
    #18665355 - 08/05/13 08:55 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

How do you have the freedom to do all of this? I have to find work, go to school, get a career and pay off debts. If I smoked crack all of the time, I'd have no time to take care of these things.

I've dropped out of school before and tried to make it on my own. It wasn't a good experience and I could barely feed myself. I had to steal food from my work just so I could eat.

I've also been arrested and had to do time just for drinking. Now, it's even harder for me to find a job. All I have is school and that's my only way out of a life of labor. I think you're playing with death here and should evaluate the consequences of your actions.

What you're saying, if true, is not a joke.


--------------------

Edited by Dr. Crapsghetti (08/05/13 09:03 PM)

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Offlinedetest86
Psychonaut


Registered: 03/08/11
Posts: 689
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Dr. Crapsghetti]
    #18665370 - 08/05/13 09:00 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

speedballing is dangerous.

soma and crack... dangerous..... and uh, um. eh.......uhhhhhhhh mmm.  why not just take some acid or mushrooms, or hell, ketamine

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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
    #18666033 - 08/05/13 11:34 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:

OH GOD, and we both had THE PERFECT combo of drugs in our system to make sex feel fucking INCREDIBLE. He ate my pussy and fingered me for at least an hour, and I was in ECSTASY having eye-wiggles and it felt like I was cumming the entire time. My body and legs were actually seizuring and shaking the whole time because it felt so intense. I was teaching him and instructing him exactly how to finger and suck me, it was the best head I've gotten in a REALLY long time, that's for damn sure. It's too bad I was having a hard time cumming cause of the drugs, because I would DEFINITELY have squirted had I actually came. He has been begging me and trying to get me so hard to squirt all over his face. Hasn't happened yet, but who knows.

He said he wanted something up his butt and we were all fucked up and started digging around my room trying to find random stuff to stick up there. He grabbed this spray bottle of Raid and was like "This would work" and I was like "....maybe it's not a good idea to stick a can of pesticides up your butt bro." :lol:

Couldn't find anything else with a smooth round edge, so I stuck my vibrating magic bullet in his butthole and then chased it with my fist in there right after it. I was full-on dominating him, spitting on his body and his face, calling him a worthless slut, grabbing him by the hair and smashing his face in the wall, punching him in the chest, slapping his face... he fucking LOVED it too. He squealed out "OOOMMMMGGGGG I LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU" while I was fisting him and doing all this shit. :lol:

I ate his butthole out too and sucked on his balls at the same time, and he was having the same seizure/shaking reaction I did.

This is fucking awesome having him stay at my place, it's like having my own personal sex slave. All I have to do is say I'm horny and he goes down on me and services me. He says he loves sucking on that big swollen steroid clit of mine. And on top of that, he gave me his $1200 audio sound system for letting him stay at my place, I now have subwoofers in my car and am going to be bumping THE SICKEST dnb and liquid dub in it now. :yesnod:





:somagnificent:

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Offlinedetest86
Psychonaut


Registered: 03/08/11
Posts: 689
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: akira_akuma]
    #18675899 - 08/07/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:

OH GOD, and we both had THE PERFECT combo of drugs in our system to make sex feel fucking INCREDIBLE. He ate my pussy and fingered me for at least an hour, and I was in ECSTASY having eye-wiggles and it felt like I was cumming the entire time. My body and legs were actually seizuring and shaking the whole time because it felt so intense. I was teaching him and instructing him exactly how to finger and suck me, it was the best head I've gotten in a REALLY long time, that's for damn sure. It's too bad I was having a hard time cumming cause of the drugs, because I would DEFINITELY have squirted had I actually came. He has been begging me and trying to get me so hard to squirt all over his face. Hasn't happened yet, but who knows.

He said he wanted something up his butt and we were all fucked up and started digging around my room trying to find random stuff to stick up there. He grabbed this spray bottle of Raid and was like "This would work" and I was like "....maybe it's not a good idea to stick a can of pesticides up your butt bro." :lol:

Couldn't find anything else with a smooth round edge, so I stuck my vibrating magic bullet in his butthole and then chased it with my fist in there right after it. I was full-on dominating him, spitting on his body and his face, calling him a worthless slut, grabbing him by the hair and smashing his face in the wall, punching him in the chest, slapping his face... he fucking LOVED it too. He squealed out "OOOMMMMGGGGG I LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU" while I was fisting him and doing all this shit. :lol:

I ate his butthole out too and sucked on his balls at the same time, and he was having the same seizure/shaking reaction I did.

This is fucking awesome having him stay at my place, it's like having my own personal sex slave. All I have to do is say I'm horny and he goes down on me and services me. He says he loves sucking on that big swollen steroid clit of mine. And on top of that, he gave me his $1200 audio sound system for letting him stay at my place, I now have subwoofers in my car and am going to be bumping THE SICKEST dnb and liquid dub in it now. :yesnod:





:somagnificent:





omg.... proof girls are the same as men....

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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: detest86]
    #18675962 - 08/07/13 10:56 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

:atom:  :evolutionofman:  :poke:  :hi5:

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OfflineCamwritesgonzo
The Unflushable Stool
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/12
Posts: 2,333
Loc: On Uranus Flag
Last seen: 6 months, 25 days
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Crystal G]
    #18773646 - 08/29/13 03:27 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
DAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!! The test is making my clit fucking HUUUUUUUUGEEEEE! I just sent these picture to my best friend.

This is the before picture of my clit.



And this is after.



Bear in mind, in both of these pictures, I am not horny so my clit isn't even hard or swollen or aroused. So can you imagine how much bigger and redder it gets when I actually AM horny? Damn son, even my clit has a fucking pump!!!! :lol:  I LOVE IT, I think it's sexy as hell that I have a big clit like that, it looks like I'm horny and ready for penetration 24/7.



Is it weird to say I'd let you lock those muscular legs around my head while I titillate that meaty clitty with my tongue? Squirting girlies make my peter fluff up!


--------------------
"I've always maintained that reality is for those who can't face drugs."-Tom Waits
"I feel the same way about disco as I feel about herpes."-Hunter S. Thompson
A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?

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Offlineurbannerd
W.TheMushroomTip
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 997
Loc: California Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Camwritesgonzo] * 2
    #18773800 - 08/29/13 03:59 PM (10 years, 6 months ago)

^smmmmmmmmooooootth


--------------------
Soaking in the energy of the universe since '91

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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*
Other

Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan Flag
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: urbannerd]
    #18795236 - 09/03/13 04:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Eventually its gonna look like this

http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v




:thumbup:

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OfflineConstantine
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/01/11
Posts: 4,643
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 9 hours
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #18795245 - 09/03/13 04:43 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Well that's just wrong.


--------------------

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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Constantine]
    #18795475 - 09/03/13 05:33 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Constantine said:
Well that's just wrong.



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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #18795743 - 09/03/13 06:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Eventually its gonna look like this

http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v




:thumbup:



:singletear:

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Offlinekoods
Ribbit
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,493
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 11 seconds
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: akira_akuma]
    #18795781 - 09/03/13 06:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Eventually its gonna look like this

http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v




:thumbup:



:singletear:




What the fuck. There's a lot of mismatched genitalia talk on the shroomery today.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

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Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: koods] * 1
    #18864487 - 09/19/13 06:55 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

You know, its funny how my own personal racism takes form. For some reason I just cannot keep it in my head that Crystal G is asian. When somebody does insane, fucked up, crazy shit, I always think of a white girl.

That being said, your BFF having that like quasi-epiphany makes perfect sense to me, especially after coming down from a ton of drugs. I mean, this place isn't exactly where you should go to find perspective on your life. This is like concentrated fuckedupness. And your stories sound made up, I mean I totally believe them because who would make this stuff up, but if somebody asked me how my night was and I wanted to invent some hilarious lie, I couldnt even think of doing the insane, fucked up shit you do.

Like, for me (and I feel like I'm pretty average here) my idea of a super crazy night is I get real drunk with a bunch of people, smoke weed, break a few things while dancing/clowning around, then somebody gets partially naked and runs outside. The shit you do makes that sound like a party for little kids. Its like sin squared. Its like a parents worst nightmare, the kind of shit they don't even cover on Dateline because people would be like "Um, ok, like when the fuck has that happened ever?"

However, having said all that, I agree that Christian guilt is the biggest bullshit ever. Sucking a donkey's dick at one point in your life, then feeling guilty about working in a gay bar? I'm gonna guess that was the comedown talking, but seriously, come on.

Btw, if it makes you feel any better theres a huge difference between getting a dog to lick peanut butter off your puss and sucking a donkey's dick. Like for real, what is that all about?


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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OfflineMr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #18865179 - 09/19/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Eventually its gonna look like this

http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v

:thumbup:





I don't think that is natural.

I doubt that those "bits" belong to a genetic female.

It looks like a really small penis! :laugh:


--------------------
I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.

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OfflineMr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: bloodsheen]
    #18865189 - 09/19/13 09:08 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Its like sin squared.




:datass:


--------------------
I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.

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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*
Other

Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan Flag
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Mr. Material]
    #18865293 - 09/19/13 09:32 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

mistermateriel said:
Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Eventually its gonna look like this

http://imgur.com/a/PvA9v

:thumbup:





I don't think that is natural.

I doubt that those "bits" belong to a genetic female.

It looks like a really small penis! :laugh:




They do, they belong to professional level body builders. 100% female, at least before they started lifting weights.

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OfflineMr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: I Just Fisted My Best Friend's Asshole [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #18865308 - 09/19/13 09:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:

They do, they belong to professional level body builders. 100% female, at least before they started lifting weights.




Interesting... I wonder if they can masturbate with it.

Like inbetween their fingers - not in the conventional way.


--------------------
I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.

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