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Offline1620
Stranger
Registered: 07/09/13
Posts: 207
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Guys help me out :( [Re: deadwk]
    #18552665 - 07/13/13 11:51 AM (10 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
Just know she has proven to be deceiving already, so what makes you think she will tell you the truth? But, you know this girl better than we all do, so do what you thin kis right. Just be warned she has already proven to be untrustful, so what makes you think she'll a)tell you the truth and b)keep up to her promises?

But you have the right idea about setting it straight on what you expect to gain from this relationship.

By dating openly, do you mean she can have sex with whoever she wants, and you can have sex with whoever you want? Is this really what you want? I get the impression that you really like this girl, and want to do anything to be with her.

My honest opinion OP is that you are wasting your time and are just going to get hurt in the future. As much as it might suck to realize this, and have to let go, it might be the right thing to do. I dated a girl like the one you describe, and I tried to keep fixing things, and having her be with just me. All it did was leave me sad and depressed for months.

Sometimes it's better to let go, than to try and keep having something/someone. You're looking for advice on what to do, and the answer is in your own post:
Quote:

It was A telling this guy how much she wanted to sleep with him and how she couldn't wait to be back in bed with him, ON MY BIRTHDAY.





But, what ever you decide to do, good luck! Just be warned of the possible negative outcome. I think there's a reason why everyone is saying to leave her. However we could all be wrong!



no no no not that at all. We were like "secretly dating" and I meant we should tell people we are together if that's the road that gets taken. And I will be careful not to get hurt, and be assured she will be dropped in a second if this ever happens again.

But the thing is I can't help but to believe her when she paints our future. I really do believe that she wants to be with me when this whole thing is over. We talked about raising kids and stuff and how we want our kids to be and shit like that. In my opinion, you just have to trust her when she says things like that. And if she was BSing, I'll know she's just a sociopathic cunt tard, and with that in mind I shouldn't get hurt.

And yea sure I'm sacrificing a lot of pride in doing this but I don't give a shit, if I can turn this into a healthy functioning relationship it will be more than worth it.


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InvisibleBeside the Garden
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Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
Re: Guys help me out :( [Re: 1620]
    #18552883 - 07/13/13 12:49 PM (10 years, 7 months ago)

I don't think you will be sacrificing pride at all if you approach her from a position of strength and love. Deadwalk is right on from his perspective, mine is a little different. I had a similar situation and i walked, not right away but i didn't give the effort i should have and miss her still. That's why i say that this kind of bond is rare and important, you should not be quick to dump it for foolish pride. I still wounder the what if's and think maybe i should call but i don't. Really i think your going to make it easier on your self in the long run if you don't leave questions hanging, she may just be the sociopathic cunt tard, that might be easier to accept but she may also be a genuine girl with life long potential and she really messed up bad. If you don't dig a bit too find out she will remain a lost love that you don't have and think about. Just don't invest top much into her until she begins making a genuine effort, protect your self shes probable got you figured out.

If you went into the trip with that intention you will probably gain some insight, but i cant advice you to do it or not. If you do, just try to stay positive and be objective, and don't call her while tripping or coming down. Sleep on it first.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Guys help me out :( [Re: 1620]
    #18556573 - 07/14/13 10:06 AM (10 years, 7 months ago)

If she cheats on you again, then what will you do?


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Offlinebaraka
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Registered: 07/15/00
Posts: 10,768
Loc: hyperspace Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
Re: Guys help me out :( [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #18556615 - 07/14/13 10:17 AM (10 years, 7 months ago)

She ruined it.  You can never trust her and it will be in the back of your head forever.  I would drop her as much as it hurts.


--------------------
This is the only time I really feel alive.


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Offline1620
Stranger
Registered: 07/09/13
Posts: 207
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Guys help me out :( [Re: baraka]
    #18556817 - 07/14/13 11:19 AM (10 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

baraka said:
She ruined it.  You can never trust her and it will be in the back of your head forever.  I would drop her as much as it hurts.



Possibly, I expected being with him in germany was inevitable.  What I didn't expect was that she would try to concurrently maintain the relationship while she was with me.

Earlier on when she mentioned that she was going to be with this guy and whatever when she goes back to germany, I told her we would just have to end it before she goes. It was a couple weeks later that she changed her mind and said she wasn't going to be with anyone. I think she "changed her mind" because she really wanted to still be with me. From that perspective (and a couple others) I believe her intentions are misguided but pure to her, even if her sense of right and wrong and whatever is a little off base. This kind of thing is very typical to her personality type, this kind of thoughtless and unintentional manipulation, and is very frustrating because I'm very acutely aware of such things in my own actions.

It's hard to describe but I think Beside the Garden is on the same page as me.

What I really need help with is learning to trust her again, while at the same time not being oblivious to red flags (I admit I passed many red flags off as nothing during our time together). In my opinion everything will run smoothly with a delicate balance of those two, but finding that balance may be harder than I think.


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Invisibledeadwk
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Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 8,890
Loc: Canada, eh? Flag
Re: Guys help me out :( [Re: 1620]
    #18557467 - 07/14/13 02:04 PM (10 years, 7 months ago)

I really don't think you can trust her anymore 1620


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