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InvisibleThorA
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Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints
    #1832958 - 08/20/03 12:21 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I think if we would have more constructive discussions if people followed a few simple steps to give suggestions, criticisms, and yes for complaints.

Lets take an example in real life. A man sits down to complain to a chef about his meal.

Scenario #1

Customer: "You are doing a terrible job, this food is done all wrong and I could do a better job. Maybe you are too lazy or something, but I demand you make me a chef or make some serious changes"
Chef: "I do my best and work hard to prepare those meals. How dare you criticize me when you have no idea the work that goes into this! How dare you sir!"

Scenario #2

Customer: "Hi, thanks for sitting down with me to discuss my meal. I know you must work really hard and I'm sure you do an excellent job here. I was impressed with the speed of service and the presentation of my food. However I was somewhat dissapointed with the meal itself, I felt it was lacking proper seasoning and a little bland. Maybe its just me and my own personal taste, but I wanted to know what you thought about this particular dish and what you hope your customers get out of it."
Chef:"Thank you for the compliments and yes I do take very seriously any concerns my customers have. Sometimes a meal isn't done properly and its important that I be made aware of it. So thank you for taking time to talk to me. I feel this meal is meant to be very slightly seasoned in order to bring out the natural subtle taste of the food, and I can see how people who enjoy more seasoned food might be dissapointed. Maybe a note on the menu for this meal stating that its a subtle and has little seasoning to let people know beforehand how it is presented."

Well this little lesson makes the point that you get about 10000 times further in life when you have to complain or make suggestions to improve something by simply being polite and respectful of the person you are speaking to.

If you choose the 1st route you get mainly defensive responses and you get often nowhere but angry.

I find it VERY interesting that people yell at someone and then get upset when that person responds in a negetive manner. You teach others how to respond to you, if you are polite and respectful; you will get much further in life.

Do onto others as you would have the do onto you. Truer words have not been spoken.

So please if you have a beef, let us know, but please try to avoid being rude/offensive/disrespectful. Even if you have the right to be, don't. It takes a lot of class to not be the asshole when you have every right to be.

If you truly feel the ultimate goal of your post in this forum is to enduce change, then consider using the most effective form of communication when dealing with a complaint/criticism/suggestion, because if you feel that you are promoting change by being disrespectfull/rude/inconsiderate, then you are only kidding yourself that this approach will get you anywhere but frustrated.

Please consider this, its tough to work hard on something you care about only to have people be rude when they find something to point out and complain about. Remember we are all human, we all make mistakes, and we all want to do better. Remember, how you choose to behave makes a big difference in how you are recieved.

Thanks for reading  :grin: 


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OfflineBruiser
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1832970 - 08/20/03 12:24 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Bravo!  You are the best Thor ever. Not some imitaion Thor, no sir!  :grin:
/Stands up, claps, and whistles

Great post. 


--------------------
-I put the chrome to your dome


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,186
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1833035 - 08/20/03 12:54 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Not to mention, the Chef can spit in your food.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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OfflineMurex
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1835637 - 08/21/03 12:40 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I found a severed penis in my pasta! :blush:


--------------------
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?



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Anonymous

Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1836288 - 08/21/03 07:47 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

- Post History Deleted Upon User's Request -


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InvisibleThorA
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: ]
    #1836794 - 08/21/03 12:26 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

My suggestion is to always try to do better for myself, being better includes putting up with crap but not letting it get to me (which of course I don't do perfectly).. But I will always strive to be better, and to do better.

'Settling' or 'putting up with' are not words I like in life. If no one in the world but myself tries to be nicer and respectfull to others, then I'm satisfied that at least I'm doing my part.


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InvisibleThorA
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: ]
    #1836805 - 08/21/03 12:28 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Mr_Mushrooms said:
While all that is true I don't think that the staff should have to be sucked up to in order to do what they are here to do.  Sure, in a perfect world it would be nice if people were respectful.  But that ain't the way it is.




The point of this post was not about people sucking up, its quite clearly about how it is in our imperfect world right now, rudeness gets you nowhere, politeness/respect gets you far.

Nobody is saying suck up to get something, only the simplest and most obvious method of communication where you respect the person you are speaking to or they will not respect what you have to say.

I don't know where you live but where I live people I deal with daily are by far mostly all respectful and courteous. But then again I live in Canada :wink:


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Anonymous

Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1837088 - 08/21/03 01:52 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

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Offlineneuro
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1841025 - 08/22/03 04:22 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

>> But then again I live in Canada

Canada?! There's nothing in Canada except hookers and hockey players!


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InvisibleJellric
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1841658 - 08/22/03 08:09 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

I find it VERY interesting that people yell at someone and then get upset when that person responds in a negative manner. You teach others how to respond to you, if you are polite and respectful; you will get much further in life.





This is similar to when someone cuts you off in traffic, you honk then they flip you off and start yelling obscenities. They don't want to acknowledge their mistake so they project the negativity onto you. If you respond in kind, they feel justified in their negative response. Any further attack on their part they now see as self-defense.

That's why it's so important to remain calm in confrontation when the other party is not, because doing so only leaves one person yelling and looking like an ass.


--------------------
I AM what Willis was talkin' bout.


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InvisibleThorA
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Jellric]
    #1847349 - 08/25/03 03:47 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Exactly. You have two choices in that situation, the common one is to respond and give into your anger. The other is to blow it off and let it go since its not worth the energy to get upset over.

Life is much better if you blow off pointless things like bad drivers, otherwise life is full of aggrivation.

What I find most common amongst angry people is that they think its their duty to be mad under circumstances where their expectation of others is broken.

Sadly happyness is not sweating others actions, and for most people this is a hard lesson to learn.


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Anonymous

Post deleted by Papaver [Re: Thor]
    #1847473 - 08/25/03 05:07 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)



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InvisibleThorA
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: ]
    #1847487 - 08/25/03 05:18 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Well my response to that is this:

If you suggest something and it doesn't go anywhere; well it is possible that people do not agree or feel the suggestion isn't the best one.

We have plenty of suggestions, but if we implemented every suggestion we would not have a smoothly running BB as we have today.

Say for example you feel strongly about a suggestion, besides posting in this forum you can PM admins privately, keep bumping your suggestion thread, etc.. All are very effective means and do not require you to be an asshole about it :smile:

Every individual has their own unique opinion on how best to run this site, and its important to understand that not all suggestions will be realized, thats simply how decision by comittee works.


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OfflineFliquid
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1850726 - 08/26/03 08:58 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Nice..


--------------------
:dancing: My latest music! :yesnod:


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InvisibleEffedS
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1866592 - 08/30/03 07:58 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Great thread! 5 shrooms.

*golf clap*


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Invisibleafoaf
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1878770 - 09/03/03 09:02 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

can I be the one to suckle your asshole next, thor?

: \


--------------------
All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.


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InvisibleThorA
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: afoaf]
    #1879743 - 09/04/03 01:36 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

afoaf said:
can I be the one to suckle your asshole next, thor?

: \ 




I insist :wink:

Why is it that its sucking up if they agree with me?  :rolleyes: :shake: :rolleyes:

 


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Invisibleafoaf
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1880968 - 09/04/03 01:33 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

don't be so sensitive, mein furor.


--------------------
All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.


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InvisibleThorA
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: afoaf]
    #1881048 - 09/04/03 02:11 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

afoaf said:
don't be so sensitive, mein furor.




Thats it your banned!

Its true though mang, for as long as I've been an admin someone always says "quit sucking up to Thor" if people agree with me.


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Offlineshirley knott
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Re: Courtesy and Respect - Lessons in the art of complaints [Re: Thor]
    #1881801 - 09/04/03 06:26 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

i agree sir.

that's cos we're all scared of you. :blush: :crazy: Thor's coming! :ooo: :tongue: :laugh: :smile: :grin: 


--------------------
buh


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