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I guess I'm a loveless romantic.
    #18307994 -

So back in high-school this girl and I used to skip class and smoke quite often. She was intimidating and had a mouth of a sailor. Always acts like a hard ass. After four years shes the only girl I hold the same relationship with. No fighting no drama. Just allot of talking. And she's a cute Itallian. Anyways, she's been coming around alot lately. Like even if I'm home alone she'll call me up and come over we'll spend hours talking about anything or go out and get lost in the park.

I've asked her on a date once. Just to see. I was trying to get my mind off another girl and get myself back out there. She rejected me without explanaition... That was months ago. Idk if I should do something or try again because I'm enjoying this girl and keep getting stuck in my head...

I don't think she takes the idea of me as her man seriously. When she heads out and I walk her to the door or car she rarely hugs me. Just a quick "peace" or "Ill call you tomorrow" Im not used to women doing that so I've got mixed feelings here.

I'm probably just thinking too much. I wouldn't want to fuck up the friendship or any chance of something hapening on its own. Which usually take forever with my track record.

Uhhhg need advice or means of a distraction.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18308031 -

Dont do it, it'll fuck ur relationship upafterwards. Done that


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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Smokey-hitz]
    #18308218 -

I would personally say to do it. Fuck it. Didn't hurt my relationship with my best chick friend, in fact it helped it. We dated for a short time, she broke my heart and now we're better friends than ever. Depends how mature the two of you are iI suppose. :shrug:


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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: metalfaith]
    #18308269 -

You're already in the friend zone mate. Don't pursue it! you will fuck up a good friendship and a possible sexual relationship. Here's the 'kick' If you actually care about this girl, you'll have to forget about her and move on to get her. If you don't care about her, you'll move on naturally and she'll eventually want you, even though you don't desire her.
It's cruel, but falling into the friend zone is normally due to neediness and that's just how it works.
The worst part is, if you are able to overcome the obstacles i mentioned, you may find that you in fact don't desire you're original intention and thus unconsciously admit her original 'undesires' were for good reason, (mentioned form a man with experience in this particular catch 22).


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Edited by Magenta (05/23/13 08:51 AM)

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Magenta]
    #18308297 -

Man I know exactly what you mean...

I'm being pulled in different directions by every girl I'm attracted to at the moment. It's weird. I work hard not to be friend zoned. But this girl is my friend so I'm not too worried. I just hate it when I start thinking about someone when I shouldn't be... Loveless romantic.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18309130 -

Some women are weird man. My current gf was near impossible for me to read, but after finally making a move things became clear real quick. Talking to her is really the only thing you can do. Sit her down and tell her how you feel about her. Make it clear you still want to be friends regardless of her response, but make it a real discussion. 4 years is a damn long time to keep a platonic relationship that close. Most friends kind of just drift in and out with time, but it sounds like you guys are pretty close.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #18309168 -

when you are alone with her, flirt with her more and make her laugh. then when a good time comes, kiss her and see how she reacts.

that kiss will let her know your intentions clearer than words ever could. talking about it doesn't do much in those situations... you gotta take a risk by getting physical and cross that threshold

maybe before the kiss say something about you digging her more than a friend, then go in for it.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18309731 -

I agree with Anon2. if you decide you want to pursue it, please, for the love of your loveless romanticism, do not sit her down and talk to her right now. Either just jump in and kiss her, or slowly flirt more and more with her until you creep up on her without her even knowing. My guess is that it's a dead end, but that wouldn't stop me from making sure. It's all about living and learning.


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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: metalfaith] * 2
    #18309952 -

Quote:
creep up on her without her even knowing


I agree, that's the only way this will work out.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: metalfaith]
    #18309956 -

It sounds like she might be using you for weed... watch out for ppl like that dude

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Adolin]
    #18310048 -

if she wanted to date you, she would've by now.  you're not her type, thats why you're friends.


:shrug:  probably?

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Adolin]
    #18310404 -

Gresh said:
It sounds like she might be using you for weed... watch out for ppl like that dude


Lol at this point I owe it to her. I've been gangless for a long time and she smoked me up so much.

I anticipated that as a response but I promise you that isn't an issue.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18311589 -

Survey Says: game over.  :gameover:


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There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: mpd]
    #18313158 -

Don't do it, it is not going to benefit you.  Just be her friend.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: memes]
    #18313182 -

meams said:
if she wanted to date you, she would've by now.  you're not her type, thats why you're friends.


:shrug:  probably?


This is probably true. Some things are as black and white as they seem.

Doesn't mean I can't flirt and see how it goes :shrug:

I can't be straight forward with this girl. So I'll just take my time and enjoy what I have going now.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18313224 -

She'll hit me up sometimes and I'd have to explain how I have plans with this girl later and idk if she'd get along with her. That's happened a few times. But I've always ended up blowing off my prior engagements just to have her around for a bit longer. And she knows this.

Then those awkward moments, "bye" and just walks away. She knows I want to be closer to her. Hell, she still comes around damn near every day. This is why women confused the hell out of me. Maybe she wants to figure my feelings out for her self. Maybe if I take it slow my small actions will reflect and something will come of it. Maybe nothing is going on and I'm being too hopeful of something going my way for once.

Maybe I'm just that damn cool :shrug:

But I don't like easy. I wouldn't be able to stay with a girl for a long period of time if it was easy to get there. I choose my women carefully. The ones who choose me typically are...  :crazy2:  So I like a challenge. And timing is everything.

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18315009 -

OP: You've been friendzoned. There's no coming back from friendzone.


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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Patlal]
    #18318604 -



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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Black_Sunset]
    #18318634 -

Ouch...

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Re: I guess I'm a loveless romantic. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18324978 -

Use the concept of pre-selection. Make her want you by showing her that other women want you. In other words, move on, and date other women. It's the only logical thing to do.
If you don't you will fall into a frustrating downward spiral of malice and jealousy.


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