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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
The downward spiral of my life, again?
    #1823128 - 08/17/03 04:54 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

to start this off, from jan 15 to nov 17 2001 i was sent off for treatment by my parents. from nov 14-17 i was homeless, wandering the streets of mexico (thats where the place was) hoping my rents would send me a ticket home. they did. i was constantly smoking pot, and being a defiant asshole. i couldnt keep a group of friends for more than 2 years it seemed. in some ways i am greatful for the expierence, and in other ways i am not.

regardless i feel that i am in my old loop again, i see alot of the things that used to happen, and things i used to do happening again.
For one i always want to be altered. i have smoked weed daly for about a year, and have recently been ading more things to it, manily drinking. It seems i just want to get messed up, thats really not a way to live. but then again, i think were all going to die from a big bomb or some other politically motivated thing before my life would have naturally ended anyways. but in the end all i really want is some companionship in this wacky world. just someone to be with. yet i am too shy to do anything about it. ARGh. i know im just filing this page with my problems, but i figured someone wout there would have some advice for me.
i really have no direction in life. what am i going to do?
if anyone could share some insight, i would apreciate it.



--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #1823179 - 08/17/03 05:08 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

since i've done the "downward spiral" the "coil of life"
is ready to "spring up"... :smile: u can allow it to happen...
don't be so hard on yourself, right now this very instant
is a new moment and u have the power to make a change right
now, so go for it... and if u can't/don't, no worries !
u'll find yourself in the next moment ! all we have is this
moment...and that's plenty and abundant with possibilities.
Imagine that u're in a Role Playing Video game and u've just been
dropped into the role of "zippoz" who seems to have a
particular life situation. So just enjoy and play the game :smile:
no worries :smile:


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: lucid]
    #1823198 - 08/17/03 05:14 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

yeah i do enjoy myself in the moment, but it seems like it is going nowhere.
i had this feeling that this weekend would change things for me.
maybee i should eat some shrooms,i think that was part of the reset i saw happening this weekend.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #1823269 - 08/17/03 05:35 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

No NO NO !!
No Shrooms for u in your state !
but I shouldn't be telling u what to do, that's just
my advice.
Meditate instead. Ponder, Ruminate, Dilerbate, Consider...
then realize it's all just endless thinking which leads
no where and that your awareness is what u truely are and
that is where u will find peace...
Remember u can't buy peace n understanding at 5 bucks a hit :wink:


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #1823270 - 08/17/03 05:35 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

No NO NO !!
No Shrooms for u in your state !
but I shouldn't be telling u what to do, that's just
my advice.
Meditate instead. Ponder, Ruminate, Dilerbate, Consider...
then realize it's all just endless thinking which leads
no where and that your awareness is what u truely are and
that is where u will find peace...
Remember u can't buy peace n understanding at 5 bucks a hit :wink:
It's all in u :smile:


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #1823471 - 08/17/03 06:50 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

What are you going to do?

Whatever you can!

What can you do?

Well, first you can admit that you are addicted to non-sobriety..

You can stop doing so many drugs. You can buy books instead of drugs and read instead of DO drugs.. You can find some sober friends who are willing to help keep you from substance abuse.

You can go to college and get a degree, too.

You can also continue doing drugs, increase the frequency and types of drugs, and remain on the same path you're on until it spits you back into a mexican gutter in an even worse state than before.

Remember, though lol this is just my opinion I haven't been through any of this hehe


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: Strumpling]
    #1823553 - 08/17/03 07:16 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

if you havent been there you really dont have any room to speak.
no offense but its the truth.
i do go to college and i get good grades. its jsut that life seems empty


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #1823591 - 08/17/03 07:31 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

nobody has been you before so why are you asking for help if you won't take words from people who haven't gone through the exact same thing?

Nobody has been in that situation but you, so I guess everybody should shut up and let this guy figure shit out on his own?

lol YOUR WELCOME for caring dude..

I was attempting to say that I'm not you and haven't experienced precisely what you have, naturally, so to make of my comments what you will.

life IS empty when you're looking for emptiness.

I had tried to say that I haven't gone through exactly what you have - I didn't say what I HAVE gone through, and it appears that you assumed my life's been all sober, blissful ignorance. I'm done with this thread, my fellow addict.


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


Edited by Strumpling (08/17/03 07:39 PM)


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OfflineRespectTheFungus
Fungus Fan

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 720
Loc: In a spore
Last seen: 11 years, 29 days
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: Strumpling]
    #1823874 - 08/17/03 08:58 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

Maybe try to find some friends that you REALLY relate to, hang out with em and talk to them about things that are getting you down. If your really feeling horrible, dont eat some shrooms, but if this is kind of a mild thing, then i say you should trip. It may give you some insight.


--------------------
"With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know."



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Offlinegnrm23
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 08/30/99
Posts: 6,481
Loc: n. e. OH, USSA
Last seen: 2 months, 21 days
Re: The downward spiral of my life, again? [Re: RespectTheFungus]
    #1825328 - 08/18/03 08:01 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

most people who set specific limits (even if entirely arbitrary) on their alcohol/drug use run into far fewer problems...
(ex: no cocktails before 4 PM; limit of 1 joint per day; etc...)
~
as to the old existential dilemma, well... i guess everybody is, in one way or another, trying to figure out answers to "the big questions" --- whence did i come from, whither am i bound, and what am i supposed to do in the meantime ??? :wink: ...
~
~
eat well
sleep soundly
exercise your body
stretch your mind
cultivate your spirit
engage with the world
~
ymmv...


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care


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