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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
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Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
limbo
    #1822277 - 08/17/03 10:36 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I feel for awhile now I've been trapped somewheres. I don't feel as if I'm really moving in any direction, and everytime I get a burst of motivation it seems very temporary, though I have made some major improvements lately.

I started listening to Dark Side of the Moon this morning for the first time in ages it seems like. I began thinking of a time in my life when things were different... I was innocent I guess, hadn't witnessed a harsh reality; the desperation. Everywheres I feel influenced by reality. (obviously)

It seems like whenever I find a certain groove, another situation comes along and flings me back into the waiting room. I am taking things one day at a time now, chilling out alot, relaxing. Most of the time I feel quite good about life, if not a tad bored and lonely every now and again.

Have you ever just closed your eyes and seen yourself somewhere else, doing something, and you know you just have to get there?

I'm hoping autumn will bring about a good change. i can feel myself almost over the top of this mountain of question and Doubt.


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
Re: limbo [Re: Grav]
    #1822290 - 08/17/03 10:54 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I was having the same problem (with regard to judgement),I felt very stale thinking "is this it?  is this where I've lead myself?" I know its easy to say but just keep going. Situations and circumstances always change and it is hard to try to move through these changes. yeah things are different but I bet in another 5 years, you might look back thinking about when things are different.  hope I made some sense here and not just babbling (lord knows I can do that :smile:)

"I was innocent I guess, hadn't witnessed a harsh reality; the desperation."

I lived with my cranked up mom for years and while I did feel desperation, I'm way more confused about a lot of different subjects with regard to living.  At least you feel good about life and are relaxed, not to say I don't feel good about life, but as you said things pop up and shit changes and for me it is really really hard to just relax.

"Have you ever just closed your eyes and seen yourself somewhere else, doing something, and you know you just have to get there?"

most definately.  there isn't a day that goes by that I don't see myself being somewhere else (for me it's an ego thing though).

Hope the next flow of change will be for the better.  :laugh: 


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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OfflineRhizoid
carbon unit
Male

Registered: 01/23/00
Posts: 1,722
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Last seen: 26 days, 11 hours
Re: limbo [Re: Grav]
    #1822299 - 08/17/03 11:03 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

It seems like whenever I find a certain groove,  another situation comes along and flings me back into the waiting room.



Heh, that sounds like the story of my life. :smile:

Have you considered falling in love with someone? That can sometimes stimulate the motivation muscle.
 


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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,851
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 10 days, 1 hour
Re: limbo [Re: Rhizoid]
    #1822377 - 08/17/03 12:02 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Try to find your groove in ANY situation in life, than you aren't back in the waiting room, but rather you are still out there, living and experiencing...
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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Invisibletak
geo's henchman
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/21/00
Posts: 3,758
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Re: limbo [Re: fireworks_god]
    #1822493 - 08/17/03 01:24 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

LIFE IS FUCKED UP AND SO AM I. I GET BY BECAUSE OF THE DELICATE BALANCE OF FUCKED UPNESS.


--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: limbo [Re: tak]
    #1822717 - 08/17/03 02:56 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

yes, it's all about balance! :laugh:

grav-  good post... i can absolutely relate to the limbo feeling.


--------------------
Namaste.


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: limbo [Re: tak]
    #1822784 - 08/17/03 03:14 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I GET BY BECAUSE OF THE DELICATE BALANCE OF FUCKED UPNESS.

The correct term acccording to Webster is fucked-up-edness


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineGrav
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Re: limbo [Re: Swami]
    #1822896 - 08/17/03 03:47 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Try to find your groove in ANY situation in life, than you aren't back in the waiting room, but rather you are still out there, living and experiencing...

I think I've tried that before... it made me feel like i was distracting myself and missing out on where I was really supposed to be.

I'm not looking for any way out of this... just waiting patiently for the right circumstances I guess.


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: limbo [Re: Grav]
    #1823182 - 08/17/03 05:09 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Grav said:
think I've tried that before... it made me feel like i was distracting myself and missing out on where I was really supposed to be.

I'm not looking for any way out of this... just waiting patiently for the right circumstances I guess.




There is a place where we ares all suspossed to be, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the other places we are inconvienced with on the way...
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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Offlinethe universe
Harbinger ofEldritch Despair
Male

Registered: 03/11/99
Posts: 1,456
Loc: Under your bed
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Re: limbo [Re: Grav]
    #1823430 - 08/17/03 06:33 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Just so you know, the right circumstances NEVER come around. Work through the muck to your goals right now before it's too late.


--------------------
"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world."- J. D. Salinger


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OfflineGrav
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Re: limbo [Re: the universe]
    #1823491 - 08/17/03 06:57 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

i have no muck to work through, there is nothing left to do but chill and wait


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: limbo [Re: Grav]
    #1824763 - 08/18/03 02:14 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

damn dude. I have seen all your posts lately, and it seems the way you describe your life seems to be just the way i feel in mine. Seas and questions of doubt, voices "monologues" in my head. Those different parts of you conflicting. Those quiet moments of motivations, ambience, things seem to subside and you feel alright. And I see myself doing other things and I feel sincerely compeled to get there. I just want you to know, that its been a big help for me, even in all my doubt of my situation it seems that there is still someone who i can relate with on the human condition. I dont really express that when i reply to your posts, but  :thumbup: /


--------------------
What?


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OfflineTavarua
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Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 145
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Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Pay Dues - Souls of Mischief [Re: Grav]
    #1825066 - 08/18/03 04:36 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

This is my faded rendition of a song which inspires me in situations like that which of you speak.

Niggas thinking the road to riches is paved in gold is tripping, it's covered in shit and potholes, barrels, pitfalls.
Near misses and aborted missions, but never forget yall goals and ambitions.
This is your life its more then just a buisiness, ?mmeninish? to diminish mic cuircuits and ?mimic slipp? tismany? witness with this. Im mentally deep let it seep, I seldom sleeps cleverly building survive the streets from pot thieves.
Liven these hip hop fiends even without the plots, mental clocks tuned.
On the horizon we kept rizin, wizening, widening never idling till the day that we can say finally.
I can recall almost dropping the ball, moving at a crawl back against the wall awwnahh, holler'n fuck yall.
Damn near ready to get violent cause we sitting in the cockpit riding on auto pilot.
Seize the controls, you devils siece to control our destiny, we questing off the soul power, sole proprietership, souls pilot this shit.
For all the nights I prayed not for fortune and fame just for mental strength, packing houses for eighths a dank on a makeshift stage, ready to make the shit great.
Down and dirty, six deep in the cypher, one says dro but aint no deal so he can't lightcha?, dont have anywhere too hook mics up we took time to hook minds up and wize up.

Three on a sack, another hot one on a cold one, maybe some A- to King Cobra.
Leasurely stroll up to A Plus' crib, whole trak busted, driver was ?no? acted?, feel this shit, some bunchaniggas stole his shit, still stealin shit cant even stand still with this.
Gotta keep it moving, keep improving, gotta keep in tune with my innerself and remain a student, dont got a secret-its in our nature to progress the only thing stoppin you from takin giant steps is yourself.
Your inhibitions and fears is gremlins fucking up many bitches so get rid of your amendum.
I grab the mic and show them a brace, I got what it takes-you didnt know what it takes is time, patience, mental preperation, documentation of due payments, disregard the defamation sidestep intrepidation.
Kickin sagacious statements with the grace of gayshis, and gaurding engagements harling complacency, spell it on me, the title MC one donned by many up two by few thogh thus is up to my crew doh.
I sit wide open for ya for the fry to rise with nourishment, harness theory to freeze invertabrates assertively, I insert a service ceartanly as a courtesy.
Biohazard third degree burning, so dont shake the green bio blood pulsate so hard it'll make your pulse ache as I throw my tempo tantrum.
Peep the conundrum, its really simple, either ya love her or ya love me cuz ya sayin somethin, hieroglyphics in this function.
Countless sneakers, snipes, little tykes with hopes of cordless mics and bright stage lights.
Battlin these bitch ass MCs, dont need to see them kicken a sad flow down on the streets.
Losing all the women you dug from your first love, man this shit gets rough.
And there is more to pay along the way, you control your fate, make moves and motivate.
Thinnin out that stack a dues is something that ya have to do, kill the attitude grab the tools and start building.
First the basic foundation placement, without the base its all shaken,
there aint nobody'll tell you how to make it.
There are examples, models, using words as mottos to pick and chose what to follow.
Cause mos'shit is bullshit, you got a mind of your own to shovel your pathway, theres no other fast way, evade past mistakes, predict problems, escape paths, cause stakes is high.

Its like that till ya' die, so look alive, start movin and make time.

Pay Dues
Dues Payed


... I tried...





--------------------
Gotta love life cuz life be lovin me


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