Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!
warning...whining follows... but then that's what this place iz for i can barely type, jus fractured ma hand in a bike accident, so this will be quick and pointless Summery of past 2 years of my life, roughly in chronological order... 1. parents become homeless, they move in wit me n wife 2. wife leaves me 3. parents fighting viciosusly in my home 4. Get mom a car and she has an accident and totals the car - mom ok tho 5. lose my job 6. lose 1/4 million dollars in stocks (pretty much everything i had) 7. lose second job 8. lose work visa in the U.S 9. hit a deer n total my own car 10. have to move to Montreal cuz i found a job there but i don't speak french 11. take shrooms first time, freak out completely get PSTD, Depression, Panic Attacks 12. parents get divorced 13. lose third job 14. react badly to certain Anti-Depressents (Desyrel) 15. Apply for disability get rejected (they say it was self-inflicted due to shrooms). 16. Find out i can't get unemployment benefits - havnt wroked long enough in Canada 17. gianed about 30 lbs since shroom incident 18. have a bike accident, chain slips, i take out someones side mirror have to pay damages 19. have another bike accident, got "doored", i got an appology n a fractured hand 20. No mo prescription insurance so not sure how I'll afford all my meds
so i'm a Depressed, wifelss, friendless (don't know anyone here in Montreal), unemployed insomniac who get's Panic attacks wanna go oot (gotta practice that canadian accent eh?) with me sometime soon to be homeless... gonna run out of the last vestiges of cash shortly so what's my take on all this ?
1. I'm still better off than the poor deer (see 9 above) 2. there are still tree's n flowers out side that are just as beautiful as before my life started to crumble. I can't appreciate em when i'm in the throes of depression/anxiety but that's just me, the tree's n flowers are still intrinsicly beautiful 3. It's all a matter of perspective - altho that's easier said than done 4. the shrooms were the worst thing that ever happened to me (every thing else is trivial in comparison - trust me),...but... maybe the effect will fade and i will return to my normal state of well being (or maybe not... but i will allow that possibility) 5. i've experienced unattached bliss on a few rare occasions while meditating (well before the shroom incident)... and while it's a faded distant memory, i know it existed, so perhaps someday i'll experience it again 6. i don't believe that things will eventuall get better... it is a posssibility and the opposite is also true... and it's also true that things gettting better or worse does not necesarily mean they will affect me, maybe i'll just be happy for no reason at all as i was depressed/panicy for no reason at all after the shrooms. like the Zen story "u so lucky u so happy..." (if u get the reference) 7. i get to whine more comprehensively when my hand heals
there... my 5 minutes of indulgent self-pity
"i exist as i am, that is enough, if no other in the world be aware i sit content and if each and all be aware i sit content
one world is aware, and by far the largest to me, and that is myself, and whether i come to my own today or in ten thousand or ten million years, i can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness, i can wait" Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass