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Anonymous #1
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Sexuality as an Identity
#18078222 - 04/08/13 05:44 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Is it normal for a 21-year-old to feel extremely uncomfortable about his sexuality?
Maybe it's just the fact that I've been taking adderall for like 10 days straight now, but I have been reflecting a lot upon the girls that I have been involved with in the past (mostly to my chagrin) and wondering if there is something wrong with me as a human being that could explain why I am compelled to continue chasing after awful women that I don't actually like.
I know a lot of physically attractive girls and I consistently go through these phases where I try to come up with an elaborate scheme to convince them to sleep with me. Only once did one of them agree to play along, but when the time came for me to make any sort of move, I choked. I want to believe it was because I felt like what I was doing was wrong, but I'm not even sure if that's the reason why I blew it.
I think it's just that I have created this identity for myself as a player who should be able to get any girl he wants. The truth is that I can't stand being around most women - especially the ones that I am consistently trying to coerce into sleeping with me. There are only two girls that I have ever had a really incredible intimate connection with, and both of those experiences came spontaneously and effortlessly. Unfortunately, neither of them live anywhere near me so those stories came to an end fairly abruptly.
I guess what I want to know is why the fuck is it that I feel so compelled to have an ego about my sexuality? Is this normal? Is it healthy? Is this a conditioned trait that I can learn to eradicate? Or am I just over-thinking it?
The only thing I am certain of is that I am sick of trying so fucking hard to be a manwhore on the surface when deep down it is painfully obvious to me that it is absolutely not who I am or what I want.
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3Cajun1Mo8
Fung Padawan


Registered: 11/07/10
Posts: 698
Last seen: 15 days, 5 hours
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Your just over thinking it. They all want to sleep with you they are just to scared to admit it
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Sexuality as an Identity [Re: 3Cajun1Mo8]
#18078335 - 04/08/13 06:07 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yeah, you're just over thinking the whole thing.
It's pretty normal for a dude to go after hot annoying girls for the sake of getting laid. Next time make a move. Why not?
I think the reason why our egos are linked to our sexuality is that getting laid a lot supposedly makes you cool.
That, and getting laid makes you feel good because getting laid feels good and it's nice to know someone out there wants to be with you on that level. So, getting laid boosts our confidence.
It's normal, man. But why try to be a man whore on the surface? So your friends will respect you more? So you'll respect yourself more? Drop the manwhore act and maybe you'll start meeting more girls who you can actually connect with.
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Rhizohunter
myco-nerd



Registered: 04/22/11
Posts: 7,894
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Probably saving yourself a lot of trouble since you don't seem to care about pussy.
If you aren't into the girls just say it. Leading a fake persona of being a women man and not getting woman is pretty retarded.
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funegi
Stranger


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,063
Loc: lat: right, long: hi
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Re: Sexuality as an Identity [Re: Rhizohunter]
#18078583 - 04/08/13 06:52 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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your most intimate connections came from girls too far away from you to even have a relationship with....and the ones you pursue and bed that are accessible, you don't desire. sounds like typical "want what you can't have" scenario. but in the even that it isn't that....the only thing I could offer as a suggestion is stop trying to be a "player" (i.e, stop trying to conquer chicks for the sport of it) and just enjoy the people that come in and out of your life and eventually that special thing will hit. (but I know how fun that being a "player" can be)
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mpd
Lammen Gorthaur



Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: Sexuality as an Identity [Re: funegi]
#18078764 - 04/08/13 07:27 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hey, it happens. When I was your age I was the spitting image of Alfred E. Newman. I looked so much like him that everyone on our ship called me, "Alfred E". They even stenciled it on my flak jacket.
And everywhere I went the gay guys were giving me the eye and finding excuses to touch me or run into me or give me the stink eye in the showers. Man, I am telling you this because I am part lesbian, because I love women more than the lesbos do.. Can't get enough of them. Love 'em all and done my share of having fun. So, here I am pretty darn certain that I was your average heterosexual guy in the middle of a sea of manly sailors and all these gay boys were after my ass. The straight guys gave me the dickens about it and the jokes certainly made me grow a thicker skin.
You know what you are and what you are is not defined by anyone else other than you. Keep that in mind and you will be okay, young master.
-------------------- There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Sexuality as an Identity [Re: mpd]
#18081152 - 04/09/13 10:17 AM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
mpd said: Hey, it happens. When I was your age I was the spitting image of Alfred E. Newman. I looked so much like him that everyone on our ship called me, "Alfred E". They even stenciled it on my flak jacket.
And everywhere I went the gay guys were giving me the eye and finding excuses to touch me or run into me or give me the stink eye in the showers. Man, I am telling you this because I am part lesbian, because I love women more than the lesbos do.. Can't get enough of them. Love 'em all and done my share of having fun. So, here I am pretty darn certain that I was your average heterosexual guy in the middle of a sea of manly sailors and all these gay boys were after my ass. The straight guys gave me the dickens about it and the jokes certainly made me grow a thicker skin.
You know what you are and what you are is not defined by anyone else other than you. Keep that in mind and you will be okay, young master.
Lol, what an interesting story. I definitely understand what you are saying, though.
Thanks for the input guys.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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LOL at MPD ...love your way with words lammen. To OP....perhaps you are simply the type of person who needs feelings for a woman before being intimate. If so, I think that is a attribute and not a detriment. Sex, at least, for me ...is so much more incredible with someone you love. 21 is a awkward age....try not to read too much into it...like lammen said, You know what you are....go with your heart...not your dick. 
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Cabinet_Sanchez
Stranger



Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 371
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I try to come up with an elaborate scheme to convince them to sleep with me.
This is counter-productive and unnecessary. "Convince" should never be a word you use with respect to sleeping with women.
Quote:
Anonymous said: women - especially the ones that I am consistently trying to coerce into sleeping with me.
No. Coercing women to do things is incorrect.
If you don't like how you're acting I would suggest not trying to sleep with everyone. It's super effective!
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mpd
Lammen Gorthaur



Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Don't listen to this numbskull. All you have to do is kidnap love them in your own special dungeon place. Make Maybe things go on from there.
-------------------- There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.
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