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Anonymous #1

A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby...
    #18018647 - 03/27/13 11:45 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

So, I've been single for several years now up until recently. I got into a relationship with a coworker about 4 months ago after she repeatedly asked me out and even my boss told me to date her... "she isn't waiting for my invitation!" he once said.

I was hesitant due to my life circumstances. I am 27, she is 22. I want to further my career/switch careers entirely. I spend a lot of time doing things like studying, pursuing hobbies, keeping in shape, and consuming mushrooms. I explained all of this numerous times before finally caving in and going on a "date," something I never do.

Now, things started off great and it was nice to finally be getting out of my comfort zone. But after a month or so I began learning things about her that were a cause for concern but only furthered my will and desire to help her and be with her. She told me she was raped twice, and that she has serious fears and nightmares all the time and needs to sleep with a nightlight. She has also complained numerous times about her fears of being cheated on, that she was cheated on in her previous relationship (that she was still in prior to meeting me) and could only assume that nobody wanted her, etc. I did nothing but reassure her. I only mention this to give a bit of background on her mental maturity level.

We began having sex very soon into the relationship. At first I would drive 30 min home after work to have sex then drive her 35 min to her house and another 35 back to my place. That was over 2 hours of driving every day. This went on for 2 months. I decided to offer her the chance to move into my place, where I lived alone, for my own benefit and hers since she kept complaining about how she doesn't get along with her family anyway. She agreed and now things have been going much better for me health-wise. (I was seriously losing out on sleep/neglecting my lifestyle and it was incredibly stressful.)

Please note: about 2 weeks into the relationship she told me she wants to marry me and that we are soul mates and stuff.

So here's my dilemma: a month ago she told me she was pregnant. I kept telling her that birth control is not always 99% effective especially if she's not taking it right. I was visibly worried and suggested the use of condoms but she would have none of it, saying it didn't feel as good. She miscarried 4 weeks in, soon after finding out, much to my relief that I kept fully to myself because I felt really bad. (We discussed the possibility of her getting pregnant and I made it clear I was not ready for children, much as I have said that I am not ready to get married. But, I told her it is NOT my decision to keep the baby or not if she was. It was her decision. It's irrelevant now, but I am wondering: could she possibly be trying to get pregnant on purpose in order to "trap" me? All she talks about when she's not telling me how much she loves me is that she wants to have a baby. And get married.

tl;dr ~ Girlfriend of 4 months moved in and constantly wants sex. She cooks for me all the time, wants to be a "good wife," and have kids, but I am nowhere near ready for it (the cooking thing is pretty sweet though.) She got pregnant after only 3 months of dating, miscarried, and told me she wasn't even sure if she wanted to tell me about it. I really do love her, but can't help but wonder if she only wants sex all the time in order to get pregnant "on accident." I am very attractive and great at sex, or so she says, so I am thinking I might be a bit paranoid on this.

What the effing hell should I do?


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1] * 8
    #18018683 - 03/27/13 11:54 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

End it now. Honestly.


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OfflinePDU
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: VivaLaMushie] * 1
    #18018695 - 03/27/13 11:57 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

GTFO.

Holy bad situation narrowly avoided. The universe gave you a second chance, use it wisely.

I can't believe you are asking this - i am watching ALL my young friends getting "trapped," through thoughtless sex and unintended pregnancies, and count my blessings that my partner and I are on the same page in that respect.

Sounds like you know what's up, and are just looking for reassurance.


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OfflineUzziel
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: VivaLaMushie] * 1
    #18018708 - 03/27/13 12:00 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

You almost had a kid with this girl. THINK ABOUT IT. You said it yourself, you aren't ready. She isn't willing to let you use a condom. You have NO idea if she is actually using birth control.

Honestly man, not worth it. You dodged a bullet once, can you dodge it twice?

I mean if you feel like the sex is worth the kid and having her be your babys mamma than fine go ahead but its a weird situation and I wouldn't want to be the guy in the situation that is for sure.


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Anonymous #1

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: PDU]
    #18018792 - 03/27/13 12:23 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

PDU said:The universe gave you a second chance, use it wisely.




Quote:

Uzziel said:You dodged a bullet once, can you dodge it twice?




It's good to hear this sort of thinking from someone other than myself. Thanks.

On the one hand, I feel fully responsible for this situation. On the other, I feel as if the universe has set me up perfectly to get into it. It's strange how things go...


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OfflinePink_Mushroom11
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18018888 - 03/27/13 12:46 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

I have been with my husband 7 yrs been married for 3 yrs jus now having a child I wasnt able til now but we got engaged 3 months in to our relationship! The way I see it is if ur not ready make sure to tell her once more and I think she is jus maybe a lil immature about it but after a miscarriage weman tend to try to fill a void! I have had 10 or so in my 7 yrs with my husband! we feel there's something missing so we try to fill a hole that is not there its very hard on a woman after a miscarriage it makes us very emotional! Thats the best way to explain it in my experience! I see it as maybe she trying again because of her emotional state! Its ur choice how u want ur life to go if its not going correctly then the best way is to either step away or compromise! Life is hard when u love someone but arent ready for everything they want! I hope things get better!


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“I am... a mushroom; On whom the dew of heaven drops now and then.”John Ford :mushroom2:


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OfflineBikerfool
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18018896 - 03/27/13 12:47 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

I got out of a similar situation a couple months ago.
The breakup was terrible at first, but after a couple of months I feel better and am glad I got out of the situation sooner rather than later.
Hell is on earth. Hell is being trapped with someone you thought you loved, and wishing you had stayed true to yourself.

Turn and run. Keep improving yourself. Someone will come along with similar life goals.


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Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.


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Invisibletrekie
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Bikerfool] * 2
    #18019165 - 03/27/13 01:55 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

RUN THE FUCK AWAY

DONT CUM IN HER ANYMORE

RUN NOW


:cactuarrun:


--------------------
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.



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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: trekie] * 3
    #18019615 - 03/27/13 03:39 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

DONT CUM IN HER ANYMORE




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Offlinespoonbomb
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #18019861 - 03/27/13 04:32 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Do not get her pregnant.
End the relationship.

Don't stick your dick in crazy.


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Offlinetedthekid
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: spoonbomb]
    #18019960 - 03/27/13 04:53 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Dude, you sound a lot like my buddy who has gotten involved with a similar girl, but he's actually falling for it and is down with with all the ' we should get married' and ' I want to have you're babies' stuff. He's only known the girl for 4 or so months, too. And he wants me to be the best man at their wedding, which I don't know how to feel about. Luckily they don't plan on getting married for over a year so I'm thinking he'll have time to realize it's a bad idea, or maybe fully decide it's a good one. The chick is actually damn cool though, so I have mixed feelings.

Shit, if you actually like her, just demand that she respects your wishes to not have a kid and get married any time soon. If she can't deal with that, then ditch her and move on. And for the love of god, like those dudes have said, Do Not Cum In Her. She'll obviously take the opportunity to get pregnant if it presents itself. Don't put yourself at risk for having a kid with a confused much younger girl


Edited by tedthekid (03/27/13 04:54 PM)


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OfflineAser
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18020033 - 03/27/13 05:03 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Many have said it already, but I feel it needs to be said again to get the point across: Get out while you can!

Not letting you wear a condom for sex is a pretty strong indicator that she is trying to trap you with pregnancy. Put your foot down and wear one, or bail.


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Anonymous #1

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Aser]
    #18020294 - 03/27/13 05:58 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

It's tough. I really feel connected to her and love her a ton, but she just has really bad self esteem issues. She came home from work and I dropped what I was doing and ran to her to hug her and tell her I love her.

Then we sat down and I told her again I'm sorry about the miscarriage and I love her. And I tried to tell her to talk to someone because I just don't understand exactly how bad it must feel. But she said no. Then I asked her if she still likes me and she looked at me with this look of semi-worry. She said, "do you not want to be with me?" I said no no no I love you, I just am worried that I am not what you expected. (Not financially ready for marriage and not mentally ready for a child.)

She ran into the bedroom and hid in the closet. I brought her some ice cream and tried to talk to her, like tell her I'm sorry again about the miscarriage and it must make her feel empty but she just like glared at me almost seemed like hatred.

I told her I don't understand and she said that sometimes I act like I don't love her, or that I seem like if she wasn't there I would be 'ok'

I don't get it. I left her to finish sulking in the closet after she said that "it's just the way you act." She just came out while I am typing this to go to the basement to do laundry. I am a little worried and honestly bewildered as well.

Thanks for the comments. I definitely will avoid cumming in her. Will keep you updated.


Edited by Anonymous (03/27/13 06:01 PM)


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18020310 - 03/27/13 06:03 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

hid in the closet sounds like issues.


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OfflinePDU
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #18020940 - 03/27/13 08:50 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Really fucked up situation - she definitely has issues, and they will rub off on you. Beware!

In the OP you wrote how you wanted to help her.

I've been there and done that and it's a trap. It is not your responsibility to help someone, and honestly it's too much burden to be thinking like that. IMO.


Quote:

Hell is being trapped with someone you thought you loved, and wishing you had stayed true to yourself.

Turn and run. Keep improving yourself. Someone will come along with similar life goals.




This is good advice.


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OfflineEDM
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: PDU]
    #18021528 - 03/27/13 10:46 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

:vineclimb: GTFO


Or you will have a kid. No biggy, except you need to put a huge portion of what you make towards the kid. You have to do this for at least 18 years. Who cares? its just 18 years of your life. . EIGHTEEN YEARS of your life. .. Forget any other dreams depending on your income because you now have a HUGE investment. Not ready? Want to do some more things in your life that you have not done yet? Well, you can say fuck it once you have a kid. Whatever your dreams and free life you once thought you could have, are now gone. Have fun. :dawerp:


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Yahweh is lying to you... I will show you the way. Trust me.




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OfflinePDU
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: EDM]
    #18021664 - 03/27/13 11:16 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

The news had a projection of estimated tuition costs for a baby born in 2013: (so in 2031 when they are 18) a 4 year undergrad degree will be $140,000


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: PDU]
    #18023143 - 03/28/13 10:02 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

For just tuition?  And at what school?  There's a massive difference between schools.


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OfflinePink_Mushroom11
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18023783 - 03/28/13 12:50 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

:confused:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
It's tough. I really feel connected to her and love her a ton, but she just has really bad self esteem issues. She came home from work and I dropped what I was doing and ran to her to hug her and tell her I love her.

Then we sat down and I told her again I'm sorry about the miscarriage and I love her. And I tried to tell her to talk to someone because I just don't understand exactly how bad it must feel. But she said no. Then I asked her if she still likes me and she looked at me with this look of semi-worry. She said, "do you not want to be with me?" I said no no no I love you, I just am worried that I am not what you expected. (Not financially ready for marriage and not mentally ready for a child.)

She ran into the bedroom and hid in the closet. I brought her some ice cream and tried to talk to her, like tell her I'm sorry again about the miscarriage and it must make her feel empty but she just like glared at me almost seemed like hatred.

I told her I don't understand and she said that sometimes I act like I don't love her, or that I seem like if she wasn't there I would be 'ok'

I don't get it. I left her to finish sulking in the closet after she said that "it's just the way you act." She just came out while I am typing this to go to the basement to do laundry. I am a little worried and honestly bewildered as well.

Thanks for the comments. I definitely will avoid cumming in her. Will keep you updated.



I think maybe shes jus a lil immature I mean I have hid in the bathroom and cryed when my husband was a dick but nvr my closet! Idk dude I am a chick and dont get it best advice I got is Dont get her pregnant she needs to grow up a lil bit! Maybe she jus is emotional idk dude! Hope it gets better!:confused:


--------------------
“I am... a mushroom; On whom the dew of heaven drops now and then.”John Ford :mushroom2:


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Pink_Mushroom11] * 1
    #18023909 - 03/28/13 01:24 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

She doesn't sound like she's fit to be a mother if that is how she handles her problems.:thumbdown:


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OfflineMurzelpfrumpft
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: FishOilTheKid] * 1
    #18024022 - 03/28/13 01:48 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

The problem will be you can not trust her anymore.

She will probably pretend using birth control and then, surprise, pregnant again.

Get out now, you are lucky that you escaped once.

By the way, in my honest opinoin, wanting a baby at 22 years hints at serious problems in managing life.
Does she have no goals, are there no achievements to be made? Sounds like a desperate search for sense in life. A baby is probably not the right answer but let her find that out on her own, without you.


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Anonymous #1

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
    #18024643 - 03/28/13 04:09 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Ok last night she made like she was doing laundry but ended up leaving the basket at the stairs and next thing I knew she was gone. Took off in her car. I was really worried and texted her but got no response. 10 minutes later I was ready to go driving around looking for her and then maybe drive to her parents after but outside I ran into her.

She just went to the store...I was worried because lately she's been talking about driving off a bridge a lot. So I hugged her for a couple minutes outside and just told her I love her and then we went back inside. She seemed calmer.

I was just glad she was ok. We got in bed and she was talking about how she had a panic attack and was just driving aimlessly but came back home because she had no where else to go. We talked for a while about different things and I reassured her for the 100th time that I really care about her and she is not just a distraction but somebody I want to be a part of my life. As you can tell I did not take the advice to "end it now" however logical that sounds.

She ended up kissing me so I kissed her back and eventually it led to cuddling, which almost led to sex. I said that we should use a condom because she's not fully healed from the miscarriage. She refused again, I guess because the first time we had sex I used a condom and it broke and she got pieces of condom inside her that she had to pull out. (I wanted to always use them but after it broke we decided to just go without due to the birth control, which I knew was not always effective yet went with it anyway.) She absolutely refused and turned away from me and started having a panic attack. I basically ignored her as I am not about to get her pregnant again.

This morning at work she texted me that she had another panic attack and decided to cut herself. That worried the shit out of me again and I freaked out at work thinking she was bleeding to death or something. But she came in a couple hours later and was all smiles like nothing had happened and told me she loved me and crap.

It's pretty crazy. Oh, I guess she hid in the closet because that's where "all her stuff is" even though we are still trying to get settled in (I have a lot of stuff and there's not much space here.) She has a desk I gave her and I tell her she can always move anything around if she wants or feel free to buy any furniture she wants. As if she lived there....

I dunno either it's crazy.

I just got home and got a text from her still at work. All it says is: "Ummmmmm I have to tell you something bad." Great can't wait to hear what this is about.

Ok apparently she just misses me "reaaaally badddddd"


Edited by Anonymous (03/28/13 04:23 PM)


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OfflinePDU
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #18024804 - 03/28/13 04:43 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

You knew better than to stay in this relationship. Everything you have told us is a giant glaring warning sign.

Why do you put up with such juvenile behavior? There is no excuse.

I am 27 and am in a long term/live in relationship with a 23 year old - but there is none of this BS drama... like i said, there is no excuse. This girl will bring you down.


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GO OUTSIDE.


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #18025645 - 03/28/13 07:47 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

if you don't want to end up having a child with this woman you better start insisting upon condoms or break up.  actually, break up, she sounds KOOKOO


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Anonymous #2

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: PDU] * 1
    #18026172 - 03/28/13 09:25 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

PDU said:
Really fucked up situation - she definitely has issues, and they will rub off on you. Beware!

In the OP you wrote how you wanted to help her.

I've been there and done that and it's a trap. It is not your responsibility to help someone, and honestly it's too much burden to be thinking like that. IMO.





This.  I'm still recovering 9 months after the end of a 2 year relationship in which my soul was sucked out of me and I can barely function anymore.  Its better than it was.  I get depressed less and less and I'm not always angry.  My ex had two kids from two different deadbeats and I did as much as I could to be a good father to her kids and push her in the right direction. 

She was talking about having a kid with me and never wanting to be without me within 2 months.  I was skeptical about how quick she wanted to move but didn't bail, because other things were seemingly perfect.  However, after moving in with her I noticed more and more how she never disciplined her kids.  How she had her mother (who lived next door) do most of the parenting for her (such as giving the kids baths, getting them ready for school, watching them whenever she wanted/needed to do something) and when I tried to get her to work on that stuff, she started to resent me.  She was ALWAYS trying to get me to cum inside her, was conveniently allergic to latex, and reluctantly went on the pill.  I ended up finding birth control pills in the carpet.  I would wake up to her cussing her children out (they were 2 and 4 when we met.  Who the fuck cusses out a 2 year old and slaps them on the mouth?!)  There is more but I'll save that for another thread when its eating me up inside. 

tl;dr:
GET OUT NOW.


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OfflineBikerfool
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18026318 - 03/28/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

PDU said:
Really fucked up situation - she definitely has issues, and they will rub off on you. Beware!

In the OP you wrote how you wanted to help her.

I've been there and done that and it's a trap. It is not your responsibility to help someone, and honestly it's too much burden to be thinking like that. IMO.





This.  I'm still recovering 9 months after the end of a 2 year relationship in which my soul was sucked out of me and I can barely function anymore.  Its better than it was.  I get depressed less and less and I'm not always angry.  My ex had two kids from two different deadbeats and I did as much as I could to be a good father to her kids and push her in the right direction. 

She was talking about having a kid with me and never wanting to be without me within 2 months.  I was skeptical about how quick she wanted to move but didn't bail, because other things were seemingly perfect.  However, after moving in with her I noticed more and more how she never disciplined her kids.  How she had her mother (who lived next door) do most of the parenting for her (such as giving the kids baths, getting them ready for school, watching them whenever she wanted/needed to do something) and when I tried to get her to work on that stuff, she started to resent me.  She was ALWAYS trying to get me to cum inside her, was conveniently allergic to latex, and reluctantly went on the pill.  I ended up finding birth control pills in the carpet.  I would wake up to her cussing her children out (they were 2 and 4 when we met.  Who the fuck cusses out a 2 year old and slaps them on the mouth?!)  There is more but I'll save that for another thread when its eating me up inside. 

tl;dr:
GET OUT NOW.




Wow, that's trashy and terrible. I'm glad you had the good sense to move on. Fuck biology and fuck continuing this unquestioned cycle.


--------------------
Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18026879 - 03/29/13 01:24 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
It's tough. I really feel connected to her and love her a ton, but she just has really bad self esteem issues. She came home from work and I dropped what I was doing and ran to her to hug her and tell her I love her.

Then we sat down and I told her again I'm sorry about the miscarriage and I love her. And I tried to tell her to talk to someone because I just don't understand exactly how bad it must feel. But she said no. Then I asked her if she still likes me and she looked at me with this look of semi-worry. She said, "do you not want to be with me?" I said no no no I love you, I just am worried that I am not what you expected. (Not financially ready for marriage and not mentally ready for a child.)

She ran into the bedroom and hid in the closet. I brought her some ice cream and tried to talk to her, like tell her I'm sorry again about the miscarriage and it must make her feel empty but she just like glared at me almost seemed like hatred.

I told her I don't understand and she said that sometimes I act like I don't love her, or that I seem like if she wasn't there I would be 'ok'

I don't get it. I left her to finish sulking in the closet after she said that "it's just the way you act." She just came out while I am typing this to go to the basement to do laundry. I am a little worried and honestly bewildered as well.

Thanks for the comments. I definitely will avoid cumming in her. Will keep you updated.




your relationship will end in a few ways
1. you get her pregnant
1.a. you marry for the kid, then divorce because you are insanely incompatible (she has codependency/manipulation/daddy issues that will drive you insane, trust me) - then you will be a bitter man as you age stripped of your potential because you're stuck at a shit job paying for alimony/child support while she is off boning some other dude.
1.b. you don't get married but have a kid and cohabitation makes common law marriage anyway - see 1.a.
1.c. you knock her up, she gets an abortion, you feel like trash
2. you tell her condoms or no sex
2.a. sex with condoms (unfulfilling after raw dogging it, 1% chance of this happening)
2.b. no sex and relationship falls away

you went to fast into this relationship, especially the sex part.

think about it dude you don't know this chick at all. 4 months? that's nothing. i was with an ex for close to 5 years and I KNEW her true colors by  the end, it took about 1-2 years for the blinders of mushy "love conquers all" BS to subside and to deal with cold facts.

Deal with the cold facts - she is leading you to a grave.


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #18027279 - 03/29/13 07:13 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

I say sit her down and give her a big talk and do NOT bust inside her. I'm not going to say run because she cooks you meals and has mad sex with you. I like settled relationships, not women who come and go with the season. But make it clear you're not ready for a baby and it's too early to get married


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Anonymous #1

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #18028965 - 03/29/13 03:39 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Last night to my surprise we ended up having sex...with a condom.

I went out drinking kinda depressed before it happened but tried to stay optimistic. Got home and she was in  a good mood. She wanted sex really bad as usual but I kept insisting on a condom. Told me that if we don't have sex then she doesn't want a relationship. I said that she is being very demanding and again I felt bad about what happened and mentioned some stuff about how if she ended up having a baby I wouldn't have bailed (the truth) and that seemed to console her. But I didn't want to get her pregnant again. She reluctantly agreed to use condoms!

She pretty much made a face the whole time like it was the worst thing ever and I could tell she was trying as hard as she could to not enjoy it at all...but eventually I got her to at least make some noise.

Afterwards she said it sucked and didn't feel good at all but this morning and all day today she's been all smiles. She even apologized for being an emotional bitch. I never called her anything at all close to that, she seemed to come up with it on her own and it surprised me to hear it. Said she wants to get a different brand to try out. I actually used "Naturalamb" by Trojan brand...shit cost like 15 bucks for 3 condoms, thinking it would make her happy but I guess it didn't. So that's my plans for tonight.

Thanks for all the suggestions and advice. I figured most of you guys would say what's been generally said (to GTFO) but all in all I'm glad I posted because there's also some other posts that have been surprisingly helpful.

I know I should break up for my own good so I'm not even sure what I'm doing right now. Part of it is that we work together and live together (what have I done) so yeah it would be a messy breakup.

I never wanted to date her in the first place....she still mentions that's a reason why I don't even like her is because I "rejected" her so many times before finally caving in.

I have always considered just bailing out entirely on my whole life and moving to another country or something...maybe this is a good time.


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18029001 - 03/29/13 03:46 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

So was it a latex condom?


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Anonymous #1

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #18029044 - 03/29/13 03:54 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Uhhh latex-free. Shit are they like less effective or something? I know I over-paid but I was sold by the package's claims.

Also I wanted to be able to tell her I spent that much thinking it would help her understand how much it means to me and that I don't mind paying that in order to just use stupid condoms.


Edited by Anonymous (03/29/13 04:00 PM)


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18029092 - 03/29/13 04:03 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

I thought she might be making it up or something trying to have a baby...


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Anonymous #3

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18029093 - 03/29/13 04:04 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Be careful this girl seems to want to get prego im guessing one or more times these things will break.

Make sure there is air in the condom wrapper she could poke hole in it
:Awesketch:


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #18029121 - 03/29/13 04:09 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Shady.

I hope you two figure things out OP.:heart::peace:


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Anonymous #4

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #18029222 - 03/29/13 04:31 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Dude, jump to another country... It's a perfect time for it and would be awesome.


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Anonymous #5

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #18030265 - 03/29/13 08:24 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

If you are sticking with this chick, which it doesnt sound like you should, get her on implanon or something like the depo shot. That way she cant forget to take it and to get around it shows serious planning.

You are seriously just asking for this to go wrong. Not to make you too paranoid but I hope you tossed that condom where she couldnt find it.


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Anonymous #6

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18031423 - 03/30/13 01:22 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Time to end it dude...if that's not want you want dont string her along find another chick who wants the same thing as you for the time being.


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Anonymous #7

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #18031478 - 03/30/13 01:49 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

What if you told her you think she's trying to get pregnant on purpose?

It sounds like she really likes you, and maybe she is trying to have your baby, but i don't think she is trying to "trap" you in any way, at least not intentionally. If she wants to get serious then maybe it's time you get serious with her and tell her what is on your mind. If she can't handle the truth, then she can't handle marriage, and if she doesn't like it she'll leave. it's a win win.


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OfflineDr. Myco
The Grand Bat
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Registered: 06/06/10
Posts: 210
Loc: US Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: PDU]
    #18031786 - 03/30/13 05:52 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

PDU said:
Really fucked up situation - she definitely has issues, and they will rub off on you. Beware!

In the OP you wrote how you wanted to help her.

I've been there and done that and it's a trap. It is not your responsibility to help someone, and honestly it's too much burden to be thinking like that. IMO.


Quote:

Hell is being trapped with someone you thought you loved, and wishing you had stayed true to yourself.

Turn and run. Keep improving yourself. Someone will come along with similar life goals.







THIS THIS AND THIS PLEASE HEED THE ADVICE! (notice the caps lock to show how important this is)

This is good advice.


--------------------
I don't use drugs to fill or fix a void in my life because they become a crutch, I use them to enhance what I already love. :mushroom2:

awesome new sig by 28064212



Edited by Dr. Myco (03/30/13 10:13 AM)


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OfflineMurzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #18041258 - 04/01/13 05:40 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I hope you tossed that condom where she couldnt find it.




Those are the kind of thoughts you will have to think if you go on with her.
Mistrust, for decades maybe. This is probably not what you want.

I'd tell her you think she wants to go pregnant without your approval and wait for her reaction.
State you don't want a baby and you're going to leave her if she becomes pregnant and keeps it.

If she totally freaks out, you know whats going on.

Sounds cruel but it's your right and she can't decide what YOU should do with YOUR life.

I know it's hard and I'm really sorry, but the more time you spend the harder the (obviously) inevitable breakup will become.

You can't do this right, but you can do it very wrong.


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Anonymous #8

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18043662 - 04/01/13 07:46 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

RUN AWAY!!

This girl will baby trap you.  Do you want to commit yourself to her and the child for the rest of your life?  Then run.

If you insist on boning Crazy then definitely wear a rubber that you have supplied yourself. I wouldn't even trust her to purchase them and not pin hole them.  Girls prefer condoms because they don't have any mess to clean up. If she wants to go bareback it's for the baby.


Your're best to end it sooner rather than letting her become completely dependent on you otherwise the breakup will get worse. And the breakup is going to be hell too. Block her number so that she can't guilt you with cutting herself.

I used to date a cutter.  I could never get her to shift the habit.  Used to catch her taking scissors to bed.  She had similar childhood emotional issues.  She cheated on me at least once. At the time it killed me to break up but looking back i'm glad i don't have to raise a family with someone who has so many unresolved mental issues.


Let her down gently, help her move out to her parents, refer her to a shrink.  Block all comms


Edited by Anonymous (04/01/13 07:53 PM)


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Invisiblejack_straw2208
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Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 3,115
Loc: Earth
Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #18047157 - 04/02/13 03:20 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

i remember my first ever girlfriend's mom clearly trained her to find a meal-ticket..

her cooking skills were mediocre and she sorta had the princess complex a bit.

i would always have this stupid crazy strong fear of her spitting out my jizm and smearing it all up into into her young fertile pie so she can end my life (through parenthood, not like a praying mantis, but that was the imagry in my head at the time)

man i miss her, she had such a lovely rump.


--------------------
If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #18047226 - 04/02/13 03:33 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Girls prefer condoms because they don't have any mess to clean up. If she wants to go bareback it's for the baby.





:lolwut:

I have never spoken to a girl who prefers condoms.  It feels better for both parties bareback.


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Anonymous #1

Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #18066283 - 04/06/13 09:04 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

Ok so I haven't responded mostly because I have been busy having constant sex. I don't know how it ended up working out but I think a lot of it had to do with my listening to and understanding her emotional stress about the miscarriage and not judging her in any way.

She actually ended up telling me that she thinks she just really wanted a baby because she thought she couldn't have one and she just wanted to be able to. With the help of my step-mom, I managed to convince her that she isn't "broken" like she thinks and that someday she will have a baby. It's actually very common (miscarriage) and most people who have one and then conceive again right away end up having a healthy pregnancy.

So she understood why she was feeling that way and she told me that we should use condoms, even though we both agree it's not as good although we have been really enjoying it anyways. (She told me she had 8 orgasms last night in one session.)  I also managed to convince her that she is still so young and neither of us are in the best position to be having kids.

The thing is that I don't think she would have accepted all of this if I hadn't also agreed to someday get married and have kids with her. It's the sort of thing where I feel like I can say that because I really do want it to work out and hope that it eventually happens but I want to avoid it for the time being at all costs for obvious reasons. And if it doesn't work out then that's that I guess.

Another part of it that is helping the situation is that her older sister had a baby soon after moving in with her boyfriend and she saw that not work out and she doesn't want that to happen to her, even though I pretty much clarified that if we did have one on accident that I wouldn't bail out on her.

She's scared of living together and never getting married....I guess because her older brother (who is actually younger than me at 25) has been living with his girlfriend of 8 years and he does not intend to ever marry or have kids. I keep telling her not to compare herself to other's situations and to just focus on her own unique situation. I also want her to go back to school and finish her degree in aesthetics. So far it seems like we are both on the same track, so it's going pretty good for now!

It's been tough but everything is pretty stable again. Thanks to everyone for helping me get all my thoughts out. I wasn't sure what to do at first and then when pretty much everyone said the same thing it really forced me to question what the hell I'm doing. I'm lucky to have a pretty great dad who has taught me a so-called universal truth: All women are crazy. So I didn't let that unanimous vote alter my purposes, because I've heard it a million times before.

My contrary opinion has really helped me work it out. I believe that women are wired differently than men generally speaking (not always), but saying that they are all crazy is an unbending, rigid and entirely relative opinion. It's like calling someone with schizophrenia "crazy." Just because they see things differently doesn't give anyone the right to label them as if they are permanently screwed up or worse. She apologized at one point for being "crazy" but I told her what I believe to be the truth: Nobody is just simply crazy and I am certainly not one to judge. We are all dealt a different hand and have to play it with our preconceived notions and mental arrangements. Thoughts and desires and opinions are things that are meant to change.

Or maybe I am just crazy too so I think we are both normal. Either way I'm glad overall that she is so young. If she were closer to my age and acting like this I bet it would be much harder to get her to alter her perspective. I don't mean to sound totally ok, either. It is still a bit early to say for sure if this is a real change in her thinking or if there will be some form of relapse.

The next troubling issue on the horizon is that she keeps saying that I'm "perfect" and other bullshit. I'm a little worried but optimistic.


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Invisiblejack_straw2208
Doctor
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Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 3,115
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18067382 - 04/06/13 02:09 PM (10 years, 9 months ago)

its that extra hole, lets all the crazy in.


--------------------
If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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