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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: FishOilTheKid] 1
#18024022 - 03/28/13 01:48 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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The problem will be you can not trust her anymore.
She will probably pretend using birth control and then, surprise, pregnant again.
Get out now, you are lucky that you escaped once.
By the way, in my honest opinoin, wanting a baby at 22 years hints at serious problems in managing life. Does she have no goals, are there no achievements to be made? Sounds like a desperate search for sense in life. A baby is probably not the right answer but let her find that out on her own, without you.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#18024643 - 03/28/13 04:09 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Ok last night she made like she was doing laundry but ended up leaving the basket at the stairs and next thing I knew she was gone. Took off in her car. I was really worried and texted her but got no response. 10 minutes later I was ready to go driving around looking for her and then maybe drive to her parents after but outside I ran into her.
She just went to the store...I was worried because lately she's been talking about driving off a bridge a lot. So I hugged her for a couple minutes outside and just told her I love her and then we went back inside. She seemed calmer.
I was just glad she was ok. We got in bed and she was talking about how she had a panic attack and was just driving aimlessly but came back home because she had no where else to go. We talked for a while about different things and I reassured her for the 100th time that I really care about her and she is not just a distraction but somebody I want to be a part of my life. As you can tell I did not take the advice to "end it now" however logical that sounds.
She ended up kissing me so I kissed her back and eventually it led to cuddling, which almost led to sex. I said that we should use a condom because she's not fully healed from the miscarriage. She refused again, I guess because the first time we had sex I used a condom and it broke and she got pieces of condom inside her that she had to pull out. (I wanted to always use them but after it broke we decided to just go without due to the birth control, which I knew was not always effective yet went with it anyway.) She absolutely refused and turned away from me and started having a panic attack. I basically ignored her as I am not about to get her pregnant again.
This morning at work she texted me that she had another panic attack and decided to cut herself. That worried the shit out of me again and I freaked out at work thinking she was bleeding to death or something. But she came in a couple hours later and was all smiles like nothing had happened and told me she loved me and crap.
It's pretty crazy. Oh, I guess she hid in the closet because that's where "all her stuff is" even though we are still trying to get settled in (I have a lot of stuff and there's not much space here.) She has a desk I gave her and I tell her she can always move anything around if she wants or feel free to buy any furniture she wants. As if she lived there....
I dunno either it's crazy.
I just got home and got a text from her still at work. All it says is: "Ummmmmm I have to tell you something bad." Great can't wait to hear what this is about.
Ok apparently she just misses me "reaaaally badddddd"
Edited by Anonymous (03/28/13 04:23 PM)
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PDU
travel kid vs.amerika



Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#18024804 - 03/28/13 04:43 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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You knew better than to stay in this relationship. Everything you have told us is a giant glaring warning sign.
Why do you put up with such juvenile behavior? There is no excuse.
I am 27 and am in a long term/live in relationship with a 23 year old - but there is none of this BS drama... like i said, there is no excuse. This girl will bring you down.
-------------------- GO OUTSIDE.
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yogabunny
fancy cat


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#18025645 - 03/28/13 07:47 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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if you don't want to end up having a child with this woman you better start insisting upon condoms or break up. actually, break up, she sounds KOOKOO
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Anonymous #2
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: PDU] 1
#18026172 - 03/28/13 09:25 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
PDU said: Really fucked up situation - she definitely has issues, and they will rub off on you. Beware!
In the OP you wrote how you wanted to help her.
I've been there and done that and it's a trap. It is not your responsibility to help someone, and honestly it's too much burden to be thinking like that. IMO.
This. I'm still recovering 9 months after the end of a 2 year relationship in which my soul was sucked out of me and I can barely function anymore. Its better than it was. I get depressed less and less and I'm not always angry. My ex had two kids from two different deadbeats and I did as much as I could to be a good father to her kids and push her in the right direction.
She was talking about having a kid with me and never wanting to be without me within 2 months. I was skeptical about how quick she wanted to move but didn't bail, because other things were seemingly perfect. However, after moving in with her I noticed more and more how she never disciplined her kids. How she had her mother (who lived next door) do most of the parenting for her (such as giving the kids baths, getting them ready for school, watching them whenever she wanted/needed to do something) and when I tried to get her to work on that stuff, she started to resent me. She was ALWAYS trying to get me to cum inside her, was conveniently allergic to latex, and reluctantly went on the pill. I ended up finding birth control pills in the carpet. I would wake up to her cussing her children out (they were 2 and 4 when we met. Who the fuck cusses out a 2 year old and slaps them on the mouth?!) There is more but I'll save that for another thread when its eating me up inside.
tl;dr: GET OUT NOW.
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Bikerfool
Your Local Edgelord


Registered: 11/21/05
Posts: 1,577
Last seen: 5 months, 12 days
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #2]
#18026318 - 03/28/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
PDU said: Really fucked up situation - she definitely has issues, and they will rub off on you. Beware!
In the OP you wrote how you wanted to help her.
I've been there and done that and it's a trap. It is not your responsibility to help someone, and honestly it's too much burden to be thinking like that. IMO.
This. I'm still recovering 9 months after the end of a 2 year relationship in which my soul was sucked out of me and I can barely function anymore. Its better than it was. I get depressed less and less and I'm not always angry. My ex had two kids from two different deadbeats and I did as much as I could to be a good father to her kids and push her in the right direction.
She was talking about having a kid with me and never wanting to be without me within 2 months. I was skeptical about how quick she wanted to move but didn't bail, because other things were seemingly perfect. However, after moving in with her I noticed more and more how she never disciplined her kids. How she had her mother (who lived next door) do most of the parenting for her (such as giving the kids baths, getting them ready for school, watching them whenever she wanted/needed to do something) and when I tried to get her to work on that stuff, she started to resent me. She was ALWAYS trying to get me to cum inside her, was conveniently allergic to latex, and reluctantly went on the pill. I ended up finding birth control pills in the carpet. I would wake up to her cussing her children out (they were 2 and 4 when we met. Who the fuck cusses out a 2 year old and slaps them on the mouth?!) There is more but I'll save that for another thread when its eating me up inside.
tl;dr: GET OUT NOW.
Wow, that's trashy and terrible. I'm glad you had the good sense to move on. Fuck biology and fuck continuing this unquestioned cycle.
-------------------- Just an angsty teen contributing to the pubs decline with contentless posts.
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JesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18026879 - 03/29/13 01:24 AM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: It's tough. I really feel connected to her and love her a ton, but she just has really bad self esteem issues. She came home from work and I dropped what I was doing and ran to her to hug her and tell her I love her.
Then we sat down and I told her again I'm sorry about the miscarriage and I love her. And I tried to tell her to talk to someone because I just don't understand exactly how bad it must feel. But she said no. Then I asked her if she still likes me and she looked at me with this look of semi-worry. She said, "do you not want to be with me?" I said no no no I love you, I just am worried that I am not what you expected. (Not financially ready for marriage and not mentally ready for a child.)
She ran into the bedroom and hid in the closet. I brought her some ice cream and tried to talk to her, like tell her I'm sorry again about the miscarriage and it must make her feel empty but she just like glared at me almost seemed like hatred.
I told her I don't understand and she said that sometimes I act like I don't love her, or that I seem like if she wasn't there I would be 'ok'
I don't get it. I left her to finish sulking in the closet after she said that "it's just the way you act." She just came out while I am typing this to go to the basement to do laundry. I am a little worried and honestly bewildered as well.
Thanks for the comments. I definitely will avoid cumming in her. Will keep you updated.
your relationship will end in a few ways 1. you get her pregnant 1.a. you marry for the kid, then divorce because you are insanely incompatible (she has codependency/manipulation/daddy issues that will drive you insane, trust me) - then you will be a bitter man as you age stripped of your potential because you're stuck at a shit job paying for alimony/child support while she is off boning some other dude. 1.b. you don't get married but have a kid and cohabitation makes common law marriage anyway - see 1.a. 1.c. you knock her up, she gets an abortion, you feel like trash 2. you tell her condoms or no sex 2.a. sex with condoms (unfulfilling after raw dogging it, 1% chance of this happening) 2.b. no sex and relationship falls away
you went to fast into this relationship, especially the sex part.
think about it dude you don't know this chick at all. 4 months? that's nothing. i was with an ex for close to 5 years and I KNEW her true colors by the end, it took about 1-2 years for the blinders of mushy "love conquers all" BS to subside and to deal with cold facts.
Deal with the cold facts - she is leading you to a grave.
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And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger

Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: JesusIsLord]
#18027279 - 03/29/13 07:13 AM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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I say sit her down and give her a big talk and do NOT bust inside her. I'm not going to say run because she cooks you meals and has mad sex with you. I like settled relationships, not women who come and go with the season. But make it clear you're not ready for a baby and it's too early to get married
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Anonymous #1
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: JacksonMetaller]
#18028965 - 03/29/13 03:39 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Last night to my surprise we ended up having sex...with a condom.
I went out drinking kinda depressed before it happened but tried to stay optimistic. Got home and she was in a good mood. She wanted sex really bad as usual but I kept insisting on a condom. Told me that if we don't have sex then she doesn't want a relationship. I said that she is being very demanding and again I felt bad about what happened and mentioned some stuff about how if she ended up having a baby I wouldn't have bailed (the truth) and that seemed to console her. But I didn't want to get her pregnant again. She reluctantly agreed to use condoms!
She pretty much made a face the whole time like it was the worst thing ever and I could tell she was trying as hard as she could to not enjoy it at all...but eventually I got her to at least make some noise.
Afterwards she said it sucked and didn't feel good at all but this morning and all day today she's been all smiles. She even apologized for being an emotional bitch. I never called her anything at all close to that, she seemed to come up with it on her own and it surprised me to hear it. Said she wants to get a different brand to try out. I actually used "Naturalamb" by Trojan brand...shit cost like 15 bucks for 3 condoms, thinking it would make her happy but I guess it didn't. So that's my plans for tonight.
Thanks for all the suggestions and advice. I figured most of you guys would say what's been generally said (to GTFO) but all in all I'm glad I posted because there's also some other posts that have been surprisingly helpful.
I know I should break up for my own good so I'm not even sure what I'm doing right now. Part of it is that we work together and live together (what have I done) so yeah it would be a messy breakup.
I never wanted to date her in the first place....she still mentions that's a reason why I don't even like her is because I "rejected" her so many times before finally caving in.
I have always considered just bailing out entirely on my whole life and moving to another country or something...maybe this is a good time.
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18029001 - 03/29/13 03:46 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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So was it a latex condom?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#18029044 - 03/29/13 03:54 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Uhhh latex-free. Shit are they like less effective or something? I know I over-paid but I was sold by the package's claims.
Also I wanted to be able to tell her I spent that much thinking it would help her understand how much it means to me and that I don't mind paying that in order to just use stupid condoms.
Edited by Anonymous (03/29/13 04:00 PM)
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18029092 - 03/29/13 04:03 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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I thought she might be making it up or something trying to have a baby...
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Anonymous #3
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18029093 - 03/29/13 04:04 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Be careful this girl seems to want to get prego im guessing one or more times these things will break.
Make sure there is air in the condom wrapper she could poke hole in it
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #3]
#18029121 - 03/29/13 04:09 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Shady.
I hope you two figure things out OP.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#18029222 - 03/29/13 04:31 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Dude, jump to another country... It's a perfect time for it and would be awesome.
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Anonymous #5
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#18030265 - 03/29/13 08:24 PM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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If you are sticking with this chick, which it doesnt sound like you should, get her on implanon or something like the depo shot. That way she cant forget to take it and to get around it shows serious planning.
You are seriously just asking for this to go wrong. Not to make you too paranoid but I hope you tossed that condom where she couldnt find it.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18031423 - 03/30/13 01:22 AM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Time to end it dude...if that's not want you want dont string her along find another chick who wants the same thing as you for the time being.
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Anonymous #7
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #6]
#18031478 - 03/30/13 01:49 AM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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What if you told her you think she's trying to get pregnant on purpose?
It sounds like she really likes you, and maybe she is trying to have your baby, but i don't think she is trying to "trap" you in any way, at least not intentionally. If she wants to get serious then maybe it's time you get serious with her and tell her what is on your mind. If she can't handle the truth, then she can't handle marriage, and if she doesn't like it she'll leave. it's a win win.
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Dr. Myco
The Grand Bat



Registered: 06/06/10
Posts: 210
Loc: US
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: PDU]
#18031786 - 03/30/13 05:52 AM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
PDU said: Really fucked up situation - she definitely has issues, and they will rub off on you. Beware!
In the OP you wrote how you wanted to help her.
I've been there and done that and it's a trap. It is not your responsibility to help someone, and honestly it's too much burden to be thinking like that. IMO.
Quote:
Hell is being trapped with someone you thought you loved, and wishing you had stayed true to yourself.
Turn and run. Keep improving yourself. Someone will come along with similar life goals.
THIS THIS AND THIS PLEASE HEED THE ADVICE! (notice the caps lock to show how important this is)
This is good advice.
-------------------- I don't use drugs to fill or fix a void in my life because they become a crutch, I use them to enhance what I already love. awesome new sig by 28064212
Edited by Dr. Myco (03/30/13 10:13 AM)
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
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Re: A little worried. Girlfriend wants baby... [Re: Anonymous #5]
#18041258 - 04/01/13 05:40 AM (10 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I hope you tossed that condom where she couldnt find it.
Those are the kind of thoughts you will have to think if you go on with her. Mistrust, for decades maybe. This is probably not what you want.
I'd tell her you think she wants to go pregnant without your approval and wait for her reaction. State you don't want a baby and you're going to leave her if she becomes pregnant and keeps it.
If she totally freaks out, you know whats going on.
Sounds cruel but it's your right and she can't decide what YOU should do with YOUR life.
I know it's hard and I'm really sorry, but the more time you spend the harder the (obviously) inevitable breakup will become.
You can't do this right, but you can do it very wrong.
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