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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: Icelander]
#17963515 - 03/16/13 06:54 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Is retreating into complete isolation from people and society...
Reintegration has been difficult for me. I always wonder if I have things correct that I feel emotionally. Things that I think and don't necessarily experience seem like they come from somewhere else allot of the time. ...Like they are collective thought patterns that I have to be exposed to. I'm in a constant conversation with intelligent entities now that seem to want to control instead of me. I am in isolation most of the time now. There is a force driving people to insanity for pleasure and control. 'One, two, three and I come with the wicked.'
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#17963539 - 03/16/13 07:05 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Abducted ?
Let's hear that story 
Also , dont smoke DMT all the time, it sounds like you do it a lot
Reintegration is easier the less often you do psychedelics
the more often you do it, the more problems you get
would recommend every 3 weeks or so max, but I know I myself have ignored that thumbrule a few times  the less often the better, then slam it (like mckenna says, 5g in silent darkness:)
what do you mean intelligent entities that want to control instead of you?
Edit: I have never done DMT, and from what I heard reintegration is even harder than regular psychedelics so be careful, don't overdo it
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: lessismore]
#17963547 - 03/16/13 07:10 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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The way I try to integrate
If it makes me happy everyday I feel it is right
if it makes me unhappy I know I did something wrong
isolation is bad I think, unless you only want to evolve spiritually and not be a human anymore
I would recommend living and doing what you were put on this earth for, at least that is my choice
if I had another lifetime I would live that in isolation though and try to evolve as much as possible spiritually
it is a choice we each have to make
I can recommend meditation and lucid dreaming, then you don't need to live in isolation, at least not with lucid dreaming meditation can become your life(style) too and isolate you a bit if you overdo it, but people usually don't get unhappy from it.
peace
Edited by lessismore (03/16/13 07:18 AM)
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: lessismore]
#17963577 - 03/16/13 07:33 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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YES.
I ate 15 grams dried in silent darkness when I lived in Seattle. Something 'popped' loudly in the top of my head and forehead. Then I was surrounded by presences talking. I was hostile because some came to scare me. I laid in bed with my head above the population and my consciousness expanded to a giant sphere encompassing the city around me. I contacted a cousin and calmly said that we are taking over. When I woke up the house smelled like death and it was coming from my body. I remember being taken aboard some type of craft and being programmed. A voice said 'when you see this, say this' over and over again and they were showing me imagery while plugged into some type of machine that could take you out of body and test your knowledge base and patterns of thought.
I watched from 'above' as my physical form entered this pattern recognition system as a point of light then popped out of a pyramid structure as me again. It was a race to the top based on what I knew at the time. And like a thought response pinball machine footrace based on symbolism. I think my soul was taken from me. Then I was powered by more energy than I had ever felt and more rage than I had ever experienced. I felt as though the knowledge that connected me to my higher self was severed and lifted from my experience. I claimed I was running on light and didn't need to eat solid food. Then there was an oscillation that morphed into complete chaos and my mind was shredded by what I think was everyone thinking in voices at once in the city.
 I'm scared of DMT and have never tried it. Have never come across it or done any extractions or anything.
I have had some really interesting and terrifying experiences on psilocybe, A. muscaria, and Salvia.
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Reintegration is easier the less often you do psychedelics
This is why I recently quit smoking cannabis.
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what do you mean intelligent entities that want to control instead of you?
They are etheric beings that have more control over my mind and physical body than I would like or hope for. I can see them and hear them. If I look into my eyes in a mirror they can show themselves. When in trance they use me as like a doorway to somewhere else. Or someone else.
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if it makes me unhappy I know I did something wrong
This is part of what is being controlled.
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#17963645 - 03/16/13 08:07 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Usually ufo stories make more sense i think
I dont understand much of this one
Why do you think your soul were taken away?
Do you feel love or hate each day?
Did it change you as a person in certain ways and have you seen them since if so what do they reveal or do?
Do you think they are demonic or have you seen demons of any kind?
Sorry i write here gonna continue in priv cant cut this text on ny phone I am interested since I have seen both ufos and demons in trips And demons when smoking weed sometimes
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: lessismore]
#17963662 - 03/16/13 08:21 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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But i believe the higher self is the soul and eternal
If they removed that you would probably feel no joy and be without identity too and almost no interest in life And probably hate a lot of things
Especially yourself if you have no true self anymore
But I felt that way before egodeath then everything changed
I guess I am not gonna do over 5gs
Maybe you can get your soul back by trying to do what makes you happy or what used to
But good luck getting through it bad trips arent easy but they teach me as much as a good trip about myself what I need to sort out etc
Making others happy works too and having a pet..you will be happy when it is(and theyre always happy)
Houseplants is a good thing too so you can see the beauty of nature it reveals new things every day or any hobby
I often see trips as soul up or downgrade bad trip being a downgrade
Edited by lessismore (03/16/13 09:09 AM)
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: lessismore]
#17963745 - 03/16/13 09:16 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Why do you think your soul were taken away?
I woke up spirit-less, it felt, like I was in a waking death state. And I was pale and grey. It was the first time that I felt like I had no animating energy. Like I was just moving muscle and bone. It felt as though my reality was stolen.
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Do you feel love or hate each day?
I'm mostly annoyed by these 'baphomets' claiming that I'm baphomet and on and on. I feel allot of pressure in my head and moving through other people's energy is a battle. I'm forced into a somewhat vacant state, it feels, because the positive energy is channeled away from me by these beings or baphomets or whatever they are.
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Did it change you as a person in certain ways and have you seen them since if so what do they reveal or do?
Its like I had a chance to do what they wanted... But they insisted that I commit suicide to become one of them. They claim that they are also christian angels. What has been revealed is how they control our minds. People are inhabited by these beings and they have some control over decision making by way of thought insertion.
It has changed me to the core, like I lost something I can't get back. There are two beings that are most of the time yelling all the time for attention. They can read my mind almost faster than I can think and say in voices what I'm thinking as I think it.
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Do you think they are demonic or have you seen demons of any kind?
Some of them are for sure. I have.
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Maybe you can get your soul back by trying to do what makes you happy or what used to
I enrolled in school again last fall and I'm studying Network Security because I truly feel that we are telepathic and the human being is the weak link as far as security goes. We can be hacked and monitored and controlled. Information can be gathered or stolen by psychic forces.
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Making others happy works too and having a pet..you will be happy when it is
I really try to treat everyone with allot of respect. Its just hard to pull it off naturally when I'm literally in a sort of hell state most of the time pestered by these beings screaming. And, I really want a cat. Cats make me happy.
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bad trip being a downgrade
It was pure enlightenment for about 5 years then everything was taken away and a forced injection of Haldol wiped my mind. I didn't even know who I was anymore and I couldn't remember the simplest things let alone how it all fit together. I agree.
I picked some azurescens this winter and had the love back again after a low dose. I was told I was loved and that felt rewarding but I can't get away from this vocal fight for my attention.
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#17963768 - 03/16/13 09:30 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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I have seen baphomet in an acidtrip once Goat creature that looked human
It was completely silent and in mid air and just looked at down me curiously Actually i think there were 2 of them Both human/goat heads
It telepatically said to me reincarnation was real and i felt it Could only get answers i already had it seemed
Weird trip they came out of nowhere I found out that name of the creature as many who smoke dmt meet it
Have never tried dmt
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: lessismore]
#17963775 - 03/16/13 09:35 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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But that was the highest dose ive ever taken over a normal 10strip i think Got blasted through space into new dimensions
4-5 grey shiva which bluelight say is 220-250 mic each iirc
Edited by lessismore (03/16/13 09:47 AM)
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: lessismore]
#17963860 - 03/16/13 10:05 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Goat creature that looked human
For a while I had these horned goat creatures running at me as I was trying to fall asleep every night.
But these beings that maintain that they are baphomet act with what seems like stolen human emotion and personality and they simply say, 'We do not have to accept Jesus Christ. We don't want/have to be christian.'
Then they flip it and demand that I go to church and ask for forgiveness. Then they flip it again and scold me for being christian or believing it.
They wanted me to touch my penis to people with the imagination and corresponding energy exchange. This I think creates a sort of grid that they can travel on so that they can inhabit other people and build personalities.
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#17964268 - 03/16/13 12:27 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Wow thanks for sharing I believe you
Hope you get better ill send you my best thoughts
I know 4 schizophrenic people and i believe there is more to it than just chemical imbalances too
Only know 2 of them well but it was enough to not make me doubt it is real
I believe that living a clean lifestyle and doing the above can help anybody i believe it affects personality in every good way possible/soul Exercise does too, i always feel relaxed and good after walking/running/cycling
If none of it works i wouldnt recommend resorting to weed or drugs I heard many schizophrenics dont have luck with their first medication Sometimes they have to try many till they find one that works
Going to church doesnt sound stupid to me with those symptoms either, especially not since youre Christian It does sound demonic Gotta try every way and you already know what is right and what isnt probably Life is worth living and you know it dont let them take control
Especially i would recommend a pet
Peace
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: lessismore]
#17964320 - 03/16/13 12:42 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Think positively notice the beauty in nature and in people
See that you have everything in common with everybody
You are still human
You just need to break the social barrier possibly Isolating yourself isnt going to help you Maybe go to some sport and meet people there or via church Go out into the nightlife and meet people there
Dont believe every thing they tell you I know one schizophrenic pretty good that doesnt need his meds now He doesnt hear voices anymore either but he has lots of thoughts..sometimes...but only good ideas Like most schizophrenics
Maybe meditation without drugs can help to clear the mind of thoughts
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: lessismore]
#17965582 - 03/16/13 06:55 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Thanks man. I hear you.
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MarkostheGnostic
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: Fedor]
#17969352 - 03/17/13 03:24 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fedor said:
Quote:
Kickle said: I'm just making conversation that helps me understand you better. I've done my fair share of being a hermit and continue to.
Yeah, nothing's wrong man. Why are you a hermit, though? Doesn't it feel good to be around people?
My mid-1970s CB (Citizen Band) radio 'handle' was The Hermit, and I had The Hermit Tarot card (Icelander's avatar at present) in mind. I had returned from 4.5 years of being "a wild and crazy guy," as SNL's frequent skits used to portray 70s guys, in college. Suddenly I'm back in my parents' house and attending a Christian seminary. I turned my bedroom into a monastic cell, and watched no sitcoms on TV (besides SNL) for two years. I no longer had a girlfriend (only the occasional one-nighter, after which I would be filled with remorse and anger at my lack of self-control). After two years at home, I moved out of state, and for the first two years there as a graduate student, my social contacts were all about school. Then I met my ex-wife, who further isolated me from whatever social outlets were available. After I graduated, I married that woman, and she convinced me to move to Florida where I not only knew nobody, but there, she continued to foster my social isolation (I didn't realize that she was mentally ill). Because the move proved to be disastrous professionally, and I was unable to become licensed at the doctoral level, my professional acquaintances turned out to be middle school teachers, counselors, and administrators, all of whom I have discovered to be among the most insipid, non-curious, uninteresting, non-intellectual, dysfunctional 'professionals' that I could ever imagine! Perhaps the state of Florida has much to do with this, but the saying, "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach" must have been penned in Florida.
So, effectively, I have lived most of my life as a solitary individual, even though I still do have a need to have a circle of friends, which I have never had in this lifetime. The need for a social is still there, but it not nagging me much any more. I chose to marry a non-nurturing, non-maternal woman (my ex-wife), so I never really had a desire to start a family, which automatically connects one to other parents, children, play dates, parties, and the whole family trip. At my age, only my cousins remain (save one who died a few years back). I can't stand my only brother, a lawyer, who has been arrogant, derisive, dismissive, and condescending towards me for decades.
BUT, I have become very selective, and if you are not on any discernible path of Awakening, then I have no interest in spending any time with you as a friend. I may spent time with you if you need my help, but if your life is only about the mundane, and if there is no interest in, or worse, no awareness of the supra mundane, then you will only pull me down into your own boring existence. I am not interested in being invited to someone's house - someone who hasn't read but one book since college 30 years ago, who wants to watch his kids talk to the PhD. Don't invite me over because I'm in a mixed race marriage and so are you, and THAT is solely the reason. Who even identifies oneself like that at my age unless you're some social fuck-tard? I don't expect you to prepare a vegan meal for me, but don't be offended if I decline sitting at your holiday brisket dinner table, because you want to marvel at your daughter talking about mythology with your 'intellectual friend.' Enough is enough after 20 some years. If You and I can't be on the same page; if I serve some petty little agenda of yours, then fuck off! I'd rather spend the evening reading, and hanging out with someone's mind that I can relate to, or admire, or aspire to.
"My...name...is...Johnny. Johnny PIS OFF!..." - The Fugs
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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FishOilTheKid
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
#17969842 - 03/17/13 05:17 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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amen.
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crkhd
☾☼☽


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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#17970022 - 03/17/13 05:49 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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I practice a form of active control of the doorways of the senses. Many fruitful results. This is surely the way to inner peace. I feel sure of my footsteps and they feel firm on the ground. The sense of fear in response to the environment is kept minimal as one, by observing the nature of the appearances, their arising and disappearing while abiding in the Witness, assumes control of the appearances by means of surrender to the all.
Solitude allows you to iron out distractions. Thoughts spread as memes and you are only as good as the company you keep. Other people's mannerisms embed themselves into your own mind and yours likewise embeds in theirs, for good or for bad. Strict control of all the sense gates allows a person to truly behold silence, as it is not clouded by the restless chatter of past mental momentum.
Slowing down the mental momentum is of utmost importance; when it is truly slowed, silence is effortless and the senses are truly felt for their magnificent depth. You are constantly in awareness of the entire EM and sound spectrums, the gravitational fields, all the atoms around you and making yourself up, and their associated movements. To have a truly silent mind is to present your senses a noiseless canvas on which to display their input.
Essentially: "I can finally hear myself think!"
-------------------- "Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern." "THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker "If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: crkhd]
#17970034 - 03/17/13 05:51 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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How do you active these 'gates?'
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crkhd
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#17970074 - 03/17/13 05:58 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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They are always here... When you trip the gates open in many ways. A person of a schizotypal, autistic-savant or artistic/creative disposition will also have 'low latent inhibition' which is a reduction in the filtering of the brain.
To control the sense gates, you watch your feet and hands. You watch where your eyes look, where your hands point, where your body posture stands in reference to the center of balance at the pelvis, you watch the breath, you watch the ears, you watch the heart. You watch your thoughts, you watch your subconscious and slowy shine burning awareness onto these transient appearances. Eventually you will strip away everything and astral entities will lose their grip over you as they cannot really do anything to a silent fearless mind abiding in the Clear Light. That's when all the crazy Chi effects start sprouting forth.
The most important thing is celibacy; preservation of the sexual essence (Kundalini/Jing) which is also the creative force that is responsible for the vibrance of life. One continually channels this upward through the microcosmic orbit and gradually builds the electricity up. This will be felt as physical momentum, correct breathing will produce a good tinglyness through the whole body and movements should begin to feel easier and easier with practice until when silence is 'attained' and the movements become geometric, synchronised and truly effortless. At this point, one is asleep while awake and awake while asleep; the veil between the two worlds dissolves entirely and it becomes a single stream of eternal life.
-------------------- "Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern." "THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker "If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: crkhd]
#17970085 - 03/17/13 06:00 PM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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Awesome post!!
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Chakra Shock
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Re: The most important thing I've done in my life [Re: crkhd]
#17978957 - 03/19/13 11:21 AM (10 years, 11 months ago) |
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What are some of the crazy Chi effects that you could describe? Or do those coincide with the awareness of atoms and the gravitational field?
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