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Offlineshaggy101
Male

Registered: 08/17/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
fuck logic fuck faith
    #1790882 - 08/08/03 03:27 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

Im sti,l me.
I cant even communicate. came home? prayed for death on the floor.
im just a dude.
it is I shoulda stuck around, ive gone to an understandsing that I know few have reached, yet what is the realization withouit the application.

Its like I can see thru it yet still cant change it, the emotion? it is
how fuckin pitiful.little broken bitch
slammed some beers to numb it but fuck i
still am there
it aint just that im fucked up.I thrive off it, healed, let go of hate only to grasp despair
back to the begginin hel
love could save Is what drives me .
the meaning behind the face, inside and around the cliche or beyond
meta
what do I love? me,god,life
U?
who are you, observing, percieving?
the combo hurts
so strong inthe know yet so weak in the face , connect
just to get me to say I dont believe
This still is!!
FUCK
2 that cant be right, just fucking connect.
and she lines 2 stories are being written. does the truth lie in between

we want to be be part of the game no matter how far we come ,play


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OfflineAzmodeus
Seeker

Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 3,392
Loc: Lotus Land!! B.C.
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: shaggy101]
    #1791820 - 08/08/03 12:56 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

I think we need a translator... :rolleyes:


--------------------
"Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.

Lest we forget. "


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Offlineshaggy101
Male

Registered: 08/17/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: Azmodeus]
    #1792038 - 08/08/03 02:13 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

it like if I communicate it, it makes it real, then it will become me.
and all I have is me.
I guess no one wants to admit they need help, it hurts my pride makes me weak and my story errored.
somewhere in me I am strong enough, but thats the know the egoless where undirected pride flows.
but it manifests in this world, the face, as fake as it seems it is what we call reality. That me is so weak, without returned love I will die.

I guess it is much harder to humble myself and say I need help. I already feel bad writing this, its programmed in me.
I should be stronger then circumstances, what kind of man lets the world break him.
I have been working on it for awhile ..being me without need. yet I never let go of this world, I always wanted to play.
and when she broke me I lost myself. this isnt working, i lost


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Invisibletak
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Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: Azmodeus]
    #1792044 - 08/08/03 02:15 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

i like it how it is :smile:


--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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Invisibletak
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Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: tak]
    #1792069 - 08/08/03 02:23 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

Admitting you need help is being strong on its own. The fact that you choose to push your ego down for a minute and concentrate on what really matters shows that your heart is in the right place. Its only a game to those who are playing, you can come and go as you like. Its often times hard to see the love that people have for you, and you need to stay strong no matter who thinks what of you, its what you think of yourself. If you get caught up in the game, you may lose yourself, but it aint to hard to go sit on the sidelines for a minute and have a moment to catch your breath. Everyone is a winner, its those who try to be the only winner that end up losing. Dont be fooled by those people. I love you, and everyone else. This is a cool place to be if you let it, and as far as im concerned, you win.


--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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Offlineshaggy101
Male

Registered: 08/17/00
Posts: 1,816
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Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: tak]
    #1792175 - 08/08/03 02:57 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

thank you.

I have all but abandoned the way of wisdom and understanding. I find myself wanting to be more shallow.
I know that sounds wierd, but its like when your a kid you see the other kids playing and you want to join, your willing to abandon anything just to be part.. that wasnt me though.
I always knew and loved myself, because of how great life is, and I knew it.
I became something stronger be using my mind- I didnt need, or want to be apart of them. to fight furiously for the right of cool.. yet I always was, and I never cared for it- the fake world of appearances
which I think made me sub-consciously fill with pride.

but I dont care now..and I dont understand.
I remeber reading about how love was one of the basic human needs..I didnt get it.. I always had enough love within me ?
isnt loving others the same as being loved.
I feel bad, I dont get that? I cant see through it, my emotion has won over my mind, where did my faith go. things changed to quick . I am unrooted and alone..where always before logic and faith would have saved me i feel only something physical can now


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OfflineAzmodeus
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Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 3,392
Loc: Lotus Land!! B.C.
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: shaggy101]
    #1792596 - 08/08/03 05:04 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

shaggy101 said:
thank you.

I have all but abandoned the way of wisdom and understanding. I find myself wanting to be more shallow.





NO! never abandon the path of knowledge...what is there in this world besides you? Not your parents or anybody else chooses what transforms you time on earth into special meaning...this realisation comes from within.... You are all you need, you have the will and ability to live however you choose. You may realise that whatever you do is meaningless, but that is what makes it so special. Because nothing means anything....then in a sense everything means something because this life is all you have. All you can do is live how you wish, and be true to yourself. Never forget that!


--------------------
"Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.

Lest we forget. "


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Offlineshaggy101
Male

Registered: 08/17/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: Azmodeus]
    #1792813 - 08/08/03 06:05 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

it is my applied life that is hurting, My false view of there true view? always evolving, its the egos story that doesnt add up.
like I have never focused on image rather dwelling with the applications of knowledge.
but I am just as simple as anyone, and I cant stand the way my story is going.

OK.I am letting a image control me?
The actions should root to the thoughts and to being..or
its my objective view of my life that is broken.

Fuck I am bad at explaining myself :confused:

feel bad
like before I could step out of the choas of emotions and thought,
but it just isnt working now.
I think I have reached a climax of my own promblems and can either deal or fail.
ANd I cant seem to fuckin deal!
does anyone see?
my emotions are controlling me
I have waaay to much passion let it be without thought..its fucked

I always before made the choice to humble myself and go within, rather truely heal then decieve myself with the physical 
It all built up to me just  needing the girl I love to show me ..she cares

Even all the Awesome things I have learned holds nothing against the love of my girl
I would give it all just to know she loves me
I feel like Maeglin from the Silmarillion, and my heart is darkening.
I even felt Jealous? Thats NOT ME!!
How can I love her more than love itself?
I physically hurt..but there are so many people suffering, how can I care about me
people still need my help, they know me as strong but I am breaking




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OfflineAzmodeus
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Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 3,392
Loc: Lotus Land!! B.C.
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: shaggy101]
    #1792887 - 08/08/03 06:28 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

Ahhhhh, so it a female thats making you lose your previous 'control'....

If it makes you feel any better i have read that anyone who truly follows the path of knowledge can only do so my thierself. Unfortunately that means great pain for many as they leave the women, and in some cases family that they love...with all thier heart. But they sacrifice themselves in a sense and give themselves to power. Mabye this is a test in your life....mabye the reason you were able to ignore the other things is because they didn't really matter, but obviously this girl does matter to you. It is the giving up of something that matters, that wounds us so deeply, but from these ashes a new person is formed. I don't believe you are breaking.....rather you are only being flexed. Life is mysterious for all the positives and negatives we experience...in the end this girl doesn't matter...nothing does....

don't know if thats relevant, your grammers kinda bad, but keep talking...


--------------------
"Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.

Lest we forget. "


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Invisiblepsilocybe cubensis
Blood, guts, andbroken teeth.

Registered: 08/10/00
Posts: 1,220
Loc: Lost Angels
Re: fuck logic fuck faith *DELETED* [Re: Azmodeus]
    #1793077 - 08/08/03 07:16 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

Post deleted by psilocybe cubensis


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Invisibletak
geo's henchman
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Registered: 11/21/00
Posts: 3,758
Loc: nowhereland
Re: fuck logic fuck faith [Re: psilocybe cubensis]
    #1794316 - 08/09/03 02:11 AM (13 years, 3 months ago)

A female! That will do it! Power to you my friend and good luck, but always remember what confuseus or einstein or someone i forget who said: "Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks"

peace


--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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