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InvisibleHarveyWalbanger
Demiurge
Male

Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 3,070
Loc: 8b
George W's Resume. MUST READ!!!
    #1785807 - 08/06/03 06:38 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

This is a chainletter circulating, that I first read posted by nhdevildog on nan's nook




GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House
USA

RESUME

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for congress and lost.

I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.



With my father's help (and his name) was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.

I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I attacked and took over two countries.

I spent the surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.

I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history.

I set an economic record for the most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set an all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

My first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

I set the record for the most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in US history.

In my first two years in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any president in US history.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).

I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force One).

I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911 and, in less than a year, made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

I, with a policy of 'disengagement', created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.

I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months, I have no leads and zero suspects.

In the 18 months following the 911 attacks, I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

In a little over two years I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US history, and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

For personal references, please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)


--------------------


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InvisibleIrradiated_Feces
doomedgeneration
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 4,278
Loc: Great White North
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1790480 - 08/08/03 12:10 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I can't say I'm shocked, I've read much about his tyranny already. It seems we're at a moot point where we either take our world back as best we can, or watch it continue to crumble before our eyes. If I were an aloof spectator I'd put my money on the latter. Either way we're in a pretty crazy time in history, it's interesting to see it all unfold (if you can sift your way through oceans of lies). Entropy always increases with time...


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OfflineDemiurge
creator ofworlds

Registered: 04/11/03
Posts: 693
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1790787 - 08/08/03 02:31 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

OMG! I'm totally speechless. He'll probably get re-elected too.


--------------------
Just another animal embeded in a technological coral reef extruded psychic objects...


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Invisiblewhiterasta
Day careobserver
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/09/02
Posts: 1,780
Loc: Oregon
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1791497 - 08/08/03 10:56 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Nice work! the Apologists will have a time answering each of those points.It'll take a lot of doublespeak to defuse them.Despot is the term which come to my mind.
WR:rasta:


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To old for this place


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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1792623 - 08/08/03 05:09 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Is Bush getting butt fucked by Satan or what?


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InvisibleFungushungry
Addict

Registered: 07/17/02
Posts: 2,014
Loc: Whispering Winds
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: chodamunky]
    #1797083 - 08/10/03 02:19 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

*Speechless*  :shake:


--------------------
"Early man walked away
As modernman took control
There mind's weren't all the same
And to conquer was their goal
So he built his great empire
And he slaughtered his own kind
He died a confused man
And killed himself in his own mind"


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InvisibleHarveyWalbanger
Demiurge
Male

Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 3,070
Loc: 8b
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1797970 - 08/10/03 01:20 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

And to think... they tried to impeach clinton for getting a hummer...


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Invisiblez@z.com
Libertarian
Registered: 10/13/02
Posts: 2,876
Loc: ATL
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1801559 - 08/11/03 02:09 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

HarveyWalbanger said:
And to think... they tried to impeach clinton for getting a hummer...



Or more accurately for committing a felony and lying under oath making a mockery of the system he is sworn to uphold.


--------------------
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." - C.S. Lewis

"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniencies attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson


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Invisibleiglou
enthusiast
Registered: 03/08/02
Posts: 295
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1801858 - 08/11/03 03:29 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

what we have witnessed is the neocon coup of the US Federal government. Spokesman Bush is a pretty-faced puppet with name recognition.


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InvisibleHarveyWalbanger
Demiurge
Male

Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 3,070
Loc: 8b
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: z@z.com]
    #1802290 - 08/11/03 05:23 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

My mistake...  atleast Bush is honest with us :wink:  ever heard about his pending rape lawsuit?


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InvisibleIrradiated_Feces
doomedgeneration
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 4,278
Loc: Great White North
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1803961 - 08/12/03 01:42 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

hahaha bush is honest, whew that was a good laugh. ever heard about his fling with cocaine?


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OfflineTheHobbit
Pot Head Pixie

Registered: 09/04/02
Posts: 863
Loc: the Oily Way...
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1804872 - 08/12/03 09:44 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

It just shows the tremendous power of marketing; anyone can be President if they have enough money to saturate the airwaves with propoganda, and Bush has shitloads to work with again. Just has to make sure that no one with a brain debates him, like Ralph Nader.


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OfflineTwista
Fire it up
Male

Registered: 04/05/02
Posts: 554
Loc: Central Florida
Last seen: 3 months, 7 days
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: Irradiated_Feces]
    #1805016 - 08/12/03 11:20 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Irradiated_Feces said:
hahaha bush is honest, whew that was a good laugh. ever heard about his fling with cocaine?




it not cool to be drug free and its not cool to ride around in a wheel chair either.


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Offlinest0nedphucker
Rogue State
Male
Registered: 04/17/03
Posts: 1,047
Loc: Wales (yes it is a countr...
Last seen: 9 years, 11 days
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: TheHobbit]
    #1805114 - 08/12/03 12:11 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Although the majority of the info is "correct" it's facts have been distorted and confused plus its had a few additions since itsl ast run


--------------------
The punishment which the wise suffer, who refuse to take part in government, is to live under the government of worse men.


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Invisibleblackroselobo
Stranger

Registered: 04/30/02
Posts: 1,458
Loc: Sioux Falls SD
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #1849449 - 08/25/03 09:19 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I am totally not shocked. Didn't he also chock on a snack food and almost die? Damn pretzels.
They'll get you every time.


--------------------
Rock on! .


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Offlinelife
shit head

Registered: 07/28/03
Posts: 52
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: George W's Resume. MUST READ!!! [Re: blackroselobo]
    #1863528 - 08/29/03 07:47 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

everyone has opinions


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