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 liquidlounge
Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
liquidlounge said:
Caring for each other does not reflect when one gets married IMO. Quite the opposite maybe? Control or caring...
A caring wife would control your music IMO. She shouldn't have to stand Pat.
They usually get wet when i play air piano looking them in their eyes thinking "i am your man"
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As far as I assume to know...
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teknix
πβπ
’ππ
π°π‘ πΌπ⨻
Registered: 09/16/08
Posts: 11,953
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I'm sure he does.
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liquidlounge
Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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 Re: Why even get married?  [Re: teknix]
#17776173 - 02/10/13 06:57 AM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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As far as I assume to know...
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
liquidlounge said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
liquidlounge said:
Caring for each other does not reflect when one gets married IMO. Quite the opposite maybe? Control or caring...
A caring wife would control your music IMO. She shouldn't have to stand Pat.
They usually get wet when i play air piano looking them in their eyes thinking "i am your man"
Quote:
liquidlounge said:
Later, they sing Homo on the Range in two part harmony.
Where the deer and the antelope play.
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word.
Cause they both have on headphones all day.
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Anxiety is what you make it.
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teknix
πβπ
’ππ
π°π‘ πΌπ⨻
Registered: 09/16/08
Posts: 11,953
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 Kickle
Wanderer
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 14 hours
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Re: Why even get married? [Re: topdog82]
#17776341 - 02/10/13 08:20 AM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
topdog82 said:
Quote:
Kickle said:
if you can get it without having to learn it the hard way you're miles ahead of the curve brother
to clarify, if I can understand the concept that I should change for another person, I am ahead of the curve?
Nah. There is no need to change for another person. Nothing stopping it either. Any and all change is for yourself, even trying to change for the sake of another. Being honest about this is the important part IMO and acknowledges you're making decisions for you, whatever they may be. No pushing that responsibility onto anyone else and any consequences or rewards are yours as well.
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Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Kickle
Wanderer
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 14 hours
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Quote:
Buster_Brown said:
Quote:
Buster_Brown said:
I don't believe the physical pleasure fades. May/December marriages prove that.
Quote:
Kickle said:
huh?
You're unaware of the terminology of a May-December wedding?
yah, what?
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Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out
Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: Why even get married? [Re: Kickle]
#17776501 - 02/10/13 09:06 AM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
Well it's monogamous so as long as we're together we're exclusive. It only makes sense to me from a disease standpoint as well as an emotional one. As far as finances, she has her own bank account and I have mine. I have considerably more money than her. Yet we split rent, utilities, food. I usually pay if we indulge in something extra like dinner out. But that doesn't happen more than once a month. I work mornings, she works mid-days, and we cook dinner together at night. We each have our preferred hobbies but they don't conflict because we're both introverted and don't mind keeping to ourselves.
She grew up on farmland and is competent, thrifty, and enjoys "roughing it". When we vacation we aren't looking to stay in hotels or hit the city, we're camping out and hiking. Her family is great and the first time I met her father he gave me a big ole hug. Every time I see him he still does that. My parents adore her. So inter-family relations are smooth.
Emotionally we both feel that the most important quality to reinforce in one another is a strong heart. To have compassion for others. And this enters right into our interactions with one another. We've spent a fair amount of time cultivating compassion in a wise way. I've posted before the story of my over-indulgence in this regard early in our relationship. She was depressed and I was a fledgling psychology student who couldn't separate out another individuals suffering from himself. I wanted to change the emotions. After years of working together and having good communication we've cultivated some wisdom to go with the compassion. Now when either of us becomes depressed we don't have to worry about those emotions becoming a burden. They have the space and support necessary to be and express themselves. We've both become pretty adept at giving the right nudges to help one another stay upright and balanced.
I sometimes think of our relationship as one of practice. Because we're not convinced we've got this figured forever, we are always trying to figure out what is working or not. In this way we've butted heads a few times. For example early in our relationship I told her that I wanted nothing to do with birthing a kid or marriage. She was mixed on kids and wanted marriage. I told her simply that she could find someone to marry if she wanted but it wouldn't be me. Same with having kids. I explained in more depth my feelings on each and she considered them. In the end I think that mutual benefit is what held us together. It's hard for someone as smart as her to willingly break away from something that's working well in the hopes of something working better in the future. And so we're still together and she has expressed a shift in her opinions about marriage as well as kids over time. I think seeing her friends grow up, get pregnant, get married, and fall into all sorts of unnecessary burdens/debts/hardship as a result has made her a believer in our financial freedom and the importance of flexibility in the relationship.
Right now we're in a very good place it seems.
I'm happy for you - you have it figured out.
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You are not special 
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Kickle
Wanderer
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 14 hours
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I talked to her about this thread last night while we lay in bed. I wanted to check and see if what I was saying was accurate or if I was indulging myself. It was incredibly moving to say the least and I'm glad this thread gave me the impetus to talk about these topics anew.
The shroomery has always been good to me in offering support for trying to be healthier as well as more honest and I want to thank you for the support. This community has helped me in so many ways.
 
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Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Why even get married? [Re: Kickle]
#17776561 - 02/10/13 09:31 AM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
I talked to her about this thread last night while we lay in bed. I wanted to check and see if what I was saying was accurate or if I was indulging myself. It was incredibly moving to say the least and I'm glad this thread gave me the impetus to talk about these topics anew.
The shroomery has always been good to me in offering support for trying to be healthier as well as more honest and I want to thank you for the support. This community has helped me in so many ways.
It's people like Pickle that keep me coming back to this sour vat of lactic acid infested brine. He floats with a buoyancy more than even Beyonce.
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Anxiety is what you make it.
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Kickle
Wanderer
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 14 hours
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very vivid
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Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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liquidlounge
Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Re: Why even get married? [Re: Kickle]
#17776601 - 02/10/13 09:45 AM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:Right now we're in a very good place it seems.
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As far as I assume to know...
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Kickle
Wanderer
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 14 hours
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true.dat
shit is still fucked up
including that voice 
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Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Buster_Brown
L'une
Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 7 hours, 5 minutes
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Re: Why even get married? [Re: Kickle]
#17777002 - 02/10/13 11:43 AM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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Millions wouldn't believe it if when I'm 65 and I marry a 15 year old purely for philanthropic reasons; I know my mother wouldn't anyhow.
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended
Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 16 hours, 4 minutes
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SeaShrooms
The dude
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1,989
Loc: Hitchhiking
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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To me, marriage symbolizes jealousy, and love and jealousy can never exist in the same sentence, therefore marriage is a lie.
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The life of a condemned soul is hatred.
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something super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
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Re: Why even get married? [Re: SeaShrooms]
#17778585 - 02/10/13 04:55 PM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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To you, I guess.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder
Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida 
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Why even get married? [Re: topdog82]
#17779752 - 02/10/13 08:28 PM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
topdog82 said:
before I begin my initial point, I would like to say I am a young college student
Due to this, my reasoning might seem naive as hell. Maybe because all the girls around me at this age are silly and immature?
Anyways, Why get married? At this exact point in time I couldn't see myself settling down with anyone whatsoever
Other than a constant stream of vagina not being in the equation, I would be down to get a house (assuming I am settled in this chaotic job market), adopt a kid or two, and get two dogs. Maybe hire a servant or get some help from my parents to raise the kid. Keep in mind that I mean this after I get out of college, not now
Assuming I had a steady stream of vagina once again (emphasis on this point), I would not mind just living on my own
Any older shroomerites have input they would like to add? Is there significant joy in marriage/wife/family?
I'm in my second marriage. I never thought I'd marry when I was 25, but I did at age 29. We were both in grad school, and she was tall, blonde, and bright. What I didn't know is that she was mentally ill, and soon to become alcoholic. I divorced when I was 39, and was at a loss at how to date in the real world. My entire love-life had taken place between age 18 and 29 - on university campuses.
We are not full-fledge adults until age 25. In one's 30s, you will begin to see that youth is past and one only becomes older. NaivetΓ© ends with experience. Unbounded optimism becomes tempered with realism. One's options perceptibly shrink as choice women seek out providers of life-style, often going to the highest bidder. Cynicism begins to set in.
If you are fortunate enough to win the affection and love of a woman with beauty, intelligence, and integrity, but owing to inexperience and ignorance, believe that there will be an endless stream of such women, all of whom are interested in YOU, not your assets or earning ability, then you will learn a hard lesson by NOT committing to her. You may never have another opportunity. It's not who YOU desire that matters, it is whether SHE has chosen you, for you.
I married my Lady of 15 years on 11/11/11. She was already beneficiary of all my worldly goods, lest I die suddenly, but any fantasy that engagement is a cage with the door open is ridiculous. At 59, I can't imagine a more compatible woman is going to appear, and I'm not into buying sex - that is no longer the driving chakra at this point of my development. Besides, had it not been for an outstanding loan that she never told me about, I would've finally gotten money back from the IRS ($4700). This year, I will get money back, since she paid off the loan, and she's not working. A practical concern, not a romantic one, but we are friends. We like and trust each other. Your sexual needs will mature with development to enjoin love. In Kabbalism, this is the marriage of Yesod with Tiphereth - Moon with Sun - a spiritual union, not just a social-legal arrangement. Remember, just because I still find 20-something girls desirable, they are not going to find me equally desirable. When I was dating after my divorce, I found other obstacles - inequalities in education level, values, differences in growing up - and with women closer to my age at the time. These perceptions can only be theoretical at your age. You'll have to mature to experience them as anyone of my age does.
I married a non-nurturing woman the first time. I never had a desire for offspring. Neither did she, though in my youthful ignorance, we never even discussed this before marriage. Then one day she told me she was having a tubal ligation, without discussion. My current wife had a 13 year old girl when we met. The 'girl' will be 30 on March 1st. BTW, my wife is still hot-looking (she's always getting flirted with and hit on), so don't take any of this as somehow somber or depressing. It's not.
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Ξ³Ξ½αΏΆΞΈΞΉ ΟΞ±α½ΟΟΞ½ - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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something super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
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My wife's hot too.
But she's only 24. I'll get back to you on that in 30 years with an update.
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topdog82
Death Spirit
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 1 month, 25 days
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Re: Why even get married? [Re: Kickle]
#17779837 - 02/10/13 08:42 PM (11 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
Quote:
topdog82 said:
Quote:
Kickle said:
if you can get it without having to learn it the hard way you're miles ahead of the curve brother
to clarify, if I can understand the concept that I should change for another person, I am ahead of the curve?
Nah. There is no need to change for another person. Nothing stopping it either. Any and all change is for yourself, even trying to change for the sake of another. Being honest about this is the important part IMO and acknowledges you're making decisions for you, whatever they may be. No pushing that responsibility onto anyone else and any consequences or rewards are yours as well.
OH ok thanks for the clarification. I meant "shouldn't" btw. Thats what people these days r doing
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