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Invisiblemjshroomer
Sage
Registered: 07/22/99
Posts: 13,774
Loc: gone with my shrooms
Please post only the funniest Jokes Here (1 Joke only each)
    #1745098 - 07/24/03 05:26 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Three men died and went to heaven.
When they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter stopped them and said,
"Due to over population, I can only let one of you in. Whoever can tell me the best story of his death can enter Heaven."

The first guy began his story: "I lived on the 25th floor of a high rise apartment building. Every day when I went to work, my nosy neighbor called me and said that there was a stranger in my house and that he could hear wild, passionate loving making noises. I finally got fed up with it and decided to go home at lunch time and check things out. When I got home my wife was sitting on the couch naked. I got extremely upset. I went through the house searching everywhere. Under the table, in the closet, even under the bed. I couldn't find anyone. Then I heard a noise and looked outside on the balcony and saw two hands hanging onto the ledge. I ran outside looked down at him and noticed that he wasn't wearing any pants. I took off my shoe and started beating his hands. He fell 25 stories and landed on the canvas in front of the building. He wasn't dead. So I rolled the refrigerator out and pushed it on top of him. When I did, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man's story: "I am a window washer at a high rise apartment building. I was washing windows on the 27th floor one day when my scaffold broke. My pants got caught on the scaffold and ripped off. I managed to stay alive by grabbing a ledge of a balcony as I fell a couple floors down. I was okay until this guy suddenly started beating my hands with his shoes. I fell and landed on the canvas in front of the building. I was still alive. Then the next thing I know, a refrigerator landed on me and I died."

The third story: "Well, I was in this refrigerator minding my own business....


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

mj


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Offlineblowback
Nothing to lose,nothing to gein.
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Registered: 06/03/03
Posts: 376
Loc: Houston Tx.
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: Please post only the funniest Jokes Here (1 Joke only each) [Re: mjshroomer]
    #1745165 - 07/24/03 05:46 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Q: What's the worst thing about eating a bald pussy?

A: Putting the diaper back on.


--------------------
"Daddy, what's the difference between ignorance and apathy?"

"Son, I don't know, and I don't care"


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OfflineAislingGheal
A wave on the ocean
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Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 988
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Re: Please post only the funniest Jokes Here (1 Joke only ea [Re: mjshroomer]
    #1745597 - 07/24/03 08:19 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)


My favorite joke (that I can remember, someone else posted this a couple of months ago);

Superman was kinda bored so he just started flying around looking for something to do. He's flying over Wonder Woman's house and sees her bedroom window is open. He stops for a glimpse and sees her lying on her bed naked. She's lying there and squirming around looking real hot.

Superman was getting turned on looking at her so he decides what the hell, I can just fly in real quick, give her the ole' in-out and be out of there before she even knows what hit her. After all he is Superman. So, in he goes, wham-bam and he's out of there.

Wonder Woman knew something happened and says, "What was that?" The invisible man says, "I don't know but, damn, my asshole hurts!"


--------------------

"I hate having to pick between the lesser of two evils. But I'm glad Obama was elected. McCain was another war monger. I'd rather deal with our country going into debt than trying to take on afghanistan...oh wait FUCK!" - Fungus_tao


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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
Re: Please post only the funniest Jokes Here (1 Joke only each) [Re: mjshroomer]
    #1746191 - 07/24/03 11:46 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex?



She opens the car door  :smirk: 


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Offlinepattern
multiplayer

Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 2,183
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: Please post only the funniest Jokes Here (1 Joke only each) [Re: mjshroomer]
    #1746229 - 07/25/03 12:04 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Two blondes are walking through a forest, when they stumble upon some tracks. 

The first blonde says: "Those are deer tracks!"

The second blonde says: "No they aren't, they are bear tracks!"  The first blonde is upset and yells "Deer tracks!", but the second blonde isn't convinced, and they keep arguing with each other.

Half an hour later they are both killed by a train.

:lol: 


--------------------
man = monkey + mushroom


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OfflineFaaip_De_Oiad
as above, so below
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Registered: 05/29/01
Posts: 1,947
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Re: Please post only the funniest Jokes Here (1 Joke only ea [Re: pattern]
    #1746324 - 07/25/03 12:43 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

this thread is golden


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OfflineNoviseer
Percussion isFree
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Registered: 03/18/03
Posts: 3,994
Last seen: 2 years, 11 days
Re: Please post only the funniest Jokes Here (1 Joke only each) [Re: chodamunky]
    #1747223 - 07/25/03 08:12 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

chodamunky said:
How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex?



She opens the car door  :smirk: 




my personal favorite :grin: 


--------------------
_______________________________________________________________
namaste said:
no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped
_________________________________________________________________


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