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 Manic626
Stranger
Registered: 09/07/12
Posts: 326
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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 I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... 
#17384770 - 12/13/12 09:30 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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So I went and got me some KFC. Them chemicals usually do a good job of opening up the bowels. I got hungry and figured, "hey I can knock out two birds with one stone"
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 Aerial Boundaries
Wildlife Analyst
Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 333
Loc: London
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Manic626]
#17384789 - 12/13/12 09:34 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Prepare for the ride of your life.
  
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"The issue is not whether people are 'good enough' for a particular type of society; rather it is a matter of developing the kind of social institutions that are most conducive to expanding the potentialities we have for intelligence, grace, sociability and freedom." - Paul Goodman (1964)
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gary gnu
Stranger
Registered: 09/16/12
Posts: 315
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Aerial Boundaries]
#17384807 - 12/13/12 09:40 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Holey shit, ever since they changed the oil to eliminate trans fat at KFC, I can't eat the shit. I spend the entire next day puking out of my asshole. Hope it works out for you.
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Nitrous Monkey
selftitled
Registered: 09/21/12
Posts: 3,150
Loc: USA 
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: gary gnu]
#17384820 - 12/13/12 09:43 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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If that doesn't work get some Epsom salt follow the directions for using it as a laxative on the back. I went from being constipated beyond belief, to nonstop squirts in 6 hours. I recommend using either lemon or lime to mix in with the water though as it tastes horrible.
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YSHServant
I Wanna Shoot Something
Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 3,941
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Nitrous Monkey]
#17384821 - 12/13/12 09:44 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Bisacodyl and Dolace.
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Riboflavin
Registered: 03/05/05
Posts: 1,388
Loc: Midwestish
Last seen: 5 months, 25 days
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: YSHServant] 3
#17384848 - 12/13/12 09:51 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Don't make the mistake I did and drink half a pint of mineral oil, I couldn't stop pooping for like 12 hours, towards the end it just started to look like chicken soup broth with oil floating on top and had the worst intense smell in the world, and the next morning these things that looked like little green rocks came out.
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All that groks is God.
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thoughts
imagining.
Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 16,816
Loc: here.
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Manic626] 2
#17384853 - 12/13/12 09:54 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Shittiest thread ever.
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I need Jesus.
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Manic626
Stranger
Registered: 09/07/12
Posts: 326
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: thoughts]
#17384865 - 12/13/12 09:57 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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its very uncomfortable, it feels like my large intestine is jampacked full of shit.
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 5,491
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: thoughts] 2
#17384870 - 12/13/12 09:58 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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L2fiber?
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West
"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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Manic626
Stranger
Registered: 09/07/12
Posts: 326
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Rewindicus]
#17384921 - 12/13/12 10:16 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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aahh yeah, I managed to get a third of it out of my asshole. I feel good enough to smoke a bowl right now. 
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Nitrous Monkey
selftitled
Registered: 09/21/12
Posts: 3,150
Loc: USA
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Manic626]
#17384947 - 12/13/12 10:24 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hopefully you didn't strain too much if ya did don't be surprised if you get hemorrhoids.
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claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine
Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Nitrous Monkey]
#17384961 - 12/13/12 10:27 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Nitrous Monkey said:
If that doesn't work get some Epsom salt follow the directions for using it as a laxative on the back. I went from being constipated beyond belief, to nonstop squirts in 6 hours. I recommend using either lemon or lime to mix in with the water though as it tastes horrible.
dude i'd rather just be constipated than have the hershey squirts for 6 hours
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Riboflavin]
#17385176 - 12/13/12 11:18 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Riboflavin said:
Don't make the mistake I did and drink half a pint of mineral oil, I couldn't stop pooping for like 12 hours, towards the end it just started to look like chicken soup broth with oil floating on top and had the worst intense smell in the world, and the next morning these things that looked like little green rocks came out.
Those are the old turds, the ones that have been stuck in the folds of your intestine for weeks, months, possibly years.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,836
Loc: Ottawa 
Last seen: 12 hours, 26 minutes
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: MisterMuscaria]
#17385219 - 12/13/12 11:32 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Do an enema.
Also, post it on the internet, some gy will pay you to see it happen.
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s240779
Registered: 12/07/10
Posts: 12,934
Last seen: 4 hours, 28 minutes
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: gary gnu]
#17385227 - 12/13/12 11:34 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
gary gnu said:
Holey shit, ever since they changed the oil to eliminate trans fat at KFC, I can't eat the shit. I spend the entire next day puking out of my asshole. Hope it works out for you.
What exactly was the change?
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Tomkin
Sire
Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 407
Loc: England
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: s240779]
#17385313 - 12/13/12 11:52 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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take 4 laxatives and your ass will turn into a vagina for 2 days
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Chairman Meow
Concern Pork
Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 39,658
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Manic626]
#17385333 - 12/13/12 11:56 AM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Just use a laxative. If you want something natural, try drinking senna tea. They usually sell it in the diet section of a drugstore, under the name "super dieter's tea" or something similar. Drink a strong cup of that and you should be good to go. If that doesn't work then it's time to pull out the heavy artillery and do an enema or something.
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Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: MisterMuscaria]
#17385425 - 12/13/12 12:13 PM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
MisterMuscaria said:
Quote:
Riboflavin said:
Don't make the mistake I did and drink half a pint of mineral oil, I couldn't stop pooping for like 12 hours, towards the end it just started to look like chicken soup broth with oil floating on top and had the worst intense smell in the world, and the next morning these things that looked like little green rocks came out.
Those are the old turds, the ones that have been stuck in the folds of your intestine for weeks, months, possibly years.
If they were green then they were probably gallstones.
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Riboflavin
Registered: 03/05/05
Posts: 1,388
Loc: Midwestish
Last seen: 5 months, 25 days
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Gumby]
#17385601 - 12/13/12 12:55 PM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gumby said:
Quote:
MisterMuscaria said:
Quote:
Riboflavin said:
Don't make the mistake I did and drink half a pint of mineral oil, I couldn't stop pooping for like 12 hours, towards the end it just started to look like chicken soup broth with oil floating on top and had the worst intense smell in the world, and the next morning these things that looked like little green rocks came out.
Those are the old turds, the ones that have been stuck in the folds of your intestine for weeks, months, possibly years.
If they were green then they were probably gallstones.
It was the damndest thing, after 12 hours of pooping and then just generally leaking, morning brings these little green rock looking things, like some sort of prize at the end for enduring it.
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All that groks is God.
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: I'm constipated to the point where I cant even fart... [Re: Riboflavin]
#17386577 - 12/13/12 04:00 PM (11 years, 4 months ago) |
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did you eat them?
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