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Registered: 02/10/02
Posts: 877
Loc: Nova Scotia, Canada
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
mushroomy side of things
    #1711739 - 07/13/03 05:14 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

fucking with me indeed. i go crazy when im sober sometimes, when i get tired and frustrated i go balistic like a mad man, breaking stuff smashing my head into tables busting ketchip packets in my hair. from a mushroomy side of life i find myself..or have entered , because thats how the flow went.. but it seems this mushroom sees things from a different perspective when he smokes herb. and it seems more clear everyday why i am where i am....why im who i am...how stuff has changed so much and continues to change. worrys the fuck out of me sometimes. sometimes i cry around a few times a week when i think about things..but its crying because i feel so much love yet dont feel i can do much..and ...sometimes it seems like things are changing too much...and im not seeming going with that flow of changingness...life....i tried...i tried my damn hardest, but with who i am, it just coulden't work. just the way it is. why the hell am i thinking like this? im a fucktard. i don't know who i am sometimes. somebody says something to me and i just dont know who i am. like im in my own lil world and isolate myself when im hanging out with people when i baked. but when im sober, i used to be depressed as fuck years ago. and angry thinking about killing people for giving me a hard time. fuck it. when i smoke herb all is good....without school, without all the fucked up stuff like that. without work. i can be a happy mushroom. i try and try to get myself into that other side of things. but it ends in me crying and going balistic everytime. when i smoke herb its like im saying i've had a fucking enough. and i finally feel peaceful, calm. not insane or crazy...

i got a girl now...shes the most beautiful loving girl i've ever met and when shes around i love her with all i got. and it makes me so happy. shes really smart and in grade 12 now. im back in grade 9 again this year...supposed to be in 11. cant handle the fucked up school stuff. i cant do it. i've tried all my life. it makes me so made, so flustered and frustrated. depressed and angry, everything fucked up that i dont like.

i like the mellow wonderful things in life, the happy loving giggly silly times. just like what my girl seems to me...shes everything i love..shes everything to me, i love her to death. is that what im supposed to say? shes really smart and has dreams and goals in life...shes going somewheres. she wants to travel and go around the world. seems as everyday goes by theres less and less for me on that side of this. the side of things i hate. like shcool and all the bullshit. the darkside of life if you will. and seems as every day goes by i keep on getting more of the things i love too. i've never had a girlfriend that meant anything close to what this one means to me. loving her is the best most wonderful time i spend in my life...feel the other side running out of gas....and that other side will take her away from me. by that time she will be all that i have going for me. and she'll take off and travel around the world. think if thats how its gonna work out, then when it comes , if it continues the way its comming. when it comes i think will be time this kid is no more, and just a loving ...love. love felt so mch i makes you cry. i want nothing to do with the other side of things...it has nothing for me. geting too clear these days. i talk to my best friend about how things are changing and he agrees with me..they are. and things are starting to take shape and go places...which i have no part of. im fucked. so i think im just gona keep loving my woman, smoke all the herb i possibly can and enjoy the things i love in life...seems to be the time for that...cause shit aint loking too bright in the future for this mushroom. this mushroom stops growing and dies. and goes back to where it came from with his memorries of unconditional love. kinda makes me sad at times you know...but i guess that just the way it goes. i aint done kicking yet. and i aint gonna be done kicking till they saw my legs off and tie me to a tree and raper me..which would be when the changing side, the darkside in my mind of life kills me.

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Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 2,183
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: mushroomy side of things [Re: NiGGy]
    #1712120 - 07/13/03 07:43 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

good post

Work, save lots of money, and go travel with her

man = monkey + mushroom

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EAT ME - I'm afungi

Registered: 05/14/02
Posts: 449
Loc: Right where I need to be
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: mushroomy side of things [Re: pattern]
    #1712983 - 07/14/03 12:47 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

well you obviosly see things from the outside perspective, now you need to take control of the picture.

I recommend taking a GED test, study to pass it. If you get it, there are job ops. you can take up and drop out of high school. But only if you get your GED should you drop it.

If you don't want to do anything but get high (which is also what it sounds like) then you have a weed problem and that could be the source of the rest of your problems. Mushrooms should teach you how to deal with life, and ignore the fact that others have egoes and that makes them who they are. There is nothing you can do about that but accept it and be positive towards people.

Its like karma.

AH HA....

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carbon unit

Registered: 01/23/00
Posts: 1,735
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 8 days, 9 hours
Re: mushroomy side of things [Re: NiGGy]
    #1713412 - 07/14/03 04:25 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done.

--Yoda the Jedi Master

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Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 7 years, 28 days
Re: mushroomy side of things [Re: NiGGy]
    #1714196 - 07/14/03 02:52 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

relax, don't give up, keep a goal in sight, and remember that you're still breathing :smile:

Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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