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Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Grav's Independence Day experience
#1689750 - 07/06/03 08:54 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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I feel damn good to be alive right now. There was some big block of fear in my brain for a long time that I really don't feel anymore. I feel weightless almost...
The trip (3.5 grams) I had was really phenomenal... It began with intense fear and anxiety when I went to watch the fireworks. I got lost in swarms of people and felt like such an alien to everyone. I was panicking. Trying to escape. I got in my car and just wanted to get far away...
Big mistake. I ended up getting lost on the interstate for what seemed like hours.. I was tripping hard and extremely paranoid. I didn't know where the fuck I was or how to get back home. I would get off on these side roads and pull over and shut the lights off and then freak out because I was worried a cop would see my car and pull over to check me out... I felt totally trapped. I even drove into a field at one point but figured that was the worst idea yet..
Finally by some stroke of luck I managed to get back to my town and booked it home. My dad was up, I said Hi and quickly ran up to my room.
And then... Euphoria... Bliss.... Reflection.... Revelation. It felt like one big confirmation that I was moving in the right direction and trying my hardest not to be afraid. I felt intense anger against all the shitty things in the world. I cranked up Deftones and RATM on the headphones and began dancing around and drawing.
I found my identity again. I don't think it was just the drugs. I think I have been trying my damndest to make sense of my life in daily sobriety, meditating alot, trying to make the right choices... Feeling so close to something but not quite getting there.. I think this experience gave me the final nudge I needed.
The intense fear and paranoia I felt at first seemed like a catalyst to let all this out.
Like I said I have never felt anything like this since the first time I dropped acid. Totally a life-changing experience... and just when I had lost all hope in psychedelics...
But yea... I'm not goin near drugs anymore.. or for a long time. I'm totally motivated to fix up alot of things in my life... concentrate on school, stop uh... selling tomatoes... Just pull things together in general, and stop analyzing shit to death.
I went out and bought a discman and DIDNT go into endless corridoors of questions about why I'm performing this action. I just did it. You may not understand, but that is very important to me considering my usuall thought processes.
peace
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Twirling
Barred Spiral
Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 2,468
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Grav]
#1689822 - 07/06/03 10:00 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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That's wonderful! I often feel trapped between the rest of the world and myself, and I'm constantly trying to bring out who I am, and my identity in order to feel more secure in the world. Nothing like a psychedelic experinice to get you more in touch with that, and I think you're wise to abstain from drugs for awhile and fix what you want to in life.
-------------------- The very nature of experience is ineffable; it transcends cognitive thought and intellectualized analysis. To be without experience is to be without an emotional knowledge of what the experience translates into. The desire for the understanding of what life is made of is the motivation that drives us all. Without it, in fear of the experiences what life can hold is among the greatest contradictions; to live in fear of death while not being alive.
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Boppity604
Stranger
Registered: 10/19/01
Posts: 1,056
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Twirling]
#1689842 - 07/06/03 10:22 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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While I'm glad this experience has helped you in very important ways...I hope you realize how stupid you were for driving while tripping. Sorry to sound like a bitch, but if people expect legalization, they need to prove they can handle themselves while dosed. I'm glad everything turned out okay for you...I just hope you'll never get behind the wheel while dosed again. That's simply assenine and puts plenty of other people at risk...and that's disrespectful.
Love & Light,
Boppity
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Dogomush
Barbless Aryan
Registered: 10/05/02
Posts: 1,286
Loc: The Canadian west coast
Last seen: 19 years, 26 days
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Boppity604]
#1690068 - 07/06/03 12:29 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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who expects legalization? hahahaha legal mushrooms good one.
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johnnyfive
Burning withCircles!
Registered: 07/02/02
Posts: 886
Loc: Hell
Last seen: 19 years, 10 months
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Grav]
#1690162 - 07/06/03 01:20 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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I feel trapped too, in my life im getting really REALLY tired of those around me that want to make my life for me. Im soo fed up im ready to do or die out in the world.
In the future, its my belief that one needs to know love,... I KNOW DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT LOVE.
Im doomed!
-------------------- And the gameshow host rings the buzzer (brrnnntt) oh and now you get a face full of face!
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Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Boppity604]
#1690228 - 07/06/03 01:51 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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I definately realize. I thought about it the rest of the trip.
I drove fine.. I mean if I couldn't have controlled myself I would have pulled over and walked no matter where I was.. I wouldn't categorize it with driving drunk but it was really fuckin stupid anyways and I would never do it again.
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Shroomism
Space Travellin
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: johnnyfive]
#1690246 - 07/06/03 02:01 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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Start with loving yourself. You must love yourself before you can ever hope to truly love anyone else.
--------------------
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder
Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Grav]
#1690290 - 07/06/03 02:20 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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*Click* *Click* *Click* "There's no place like home...there's no place like home...there's no place like home..."
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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There really isn't. It felt like I was arriving in heaven. I love my bedroom.
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 29 days
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Grav]
#1690357 - 07/06/03 02:39 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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I too ate some mushrooms on the 4th... 4 dried grams with a female companion. Tripping with the opposite sex can be absolutely mind-blowing. She was morphing into different beings, some of them demonic, it was quite intense. We somehow got our clothes off and started painting with some acrylics, I got paint everywhere including my body... Body art is fan-fucking-tastic!
At the end though I had some bad stomach cramps and had to go home and listen to some soothing musik, smoke some blueberry bud, and surf my beloved Shroomery.
-------------------- { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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Strumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Grav]
#1690392 - 07/06/03 02:55 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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rofl isn't it great how the best trips are the ones that say "stop tripping for a while and fix this list of shit; then come back if you want more stuff to work on"
-------------------- Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me. In addition: SHPONGLE
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DrubuShrume
EAT ME - I'm afungi
Registered: 05/14/02
Posts: 449
Loc: Right where I need to be
Last seen: 16 years, 6 months
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: Strumpling]
#1691396 - 07/06/03 09:47 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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>>>...but if people expect legalization...<<
Who in the fuck would expect legalized mushrooms?! I think they should be illegal and I consume them from occasion to occasion. Not everyone can handle mushrooms, and curiosity could kill the cats conscious if the wrong pussy indulges.
-------------------- AH HA....
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Sev
Astropath
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 1,426
Loc: NY
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: Grav's Independence Day experience [Re: DrubuShrume]
#1691419 - 07/06/03 09:54 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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...So then you think it's right that if you get caught with a dose of shrooms on you -- or worse, growing -- that you might get a decade in jail because of it, depending on the place you get arrested in?
-------------------- "Do we want the stars? We can have them. Can we borrow cups of fire from the sun? We can and must and light the world." --"On the Shoulders of Giants", Ray Bradbury All of my posts are full of fiction and blatant lies.
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