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Registered: 01/18/10 Posts: 1,773 |
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After getting back from a summer of camping, festivals, and far too many drugs I found I was having some problems at night, feeling like I was being psychically attacked before I went to bed. Feeling something zapping my energy, along with impressions of faces and some weird smells, and dreams of being zapped by a strange being who was literally draining my lifeforce. I read up on psychic attack and tried to defend myself but it seemed I was getting nowhere and it was really started to wear me down so I went to see an energy healer who I'd visited earlier in the year.
When I went to see her, she told me that my aura was practically non-existent, in fact the only part that was still intact was the front, the rest was completely missing, and part of me knew she was going to say this. I already suspected I had holes in my aura as I was unable to defend myself, but not to this extent. She was also barely able to find my main meridian line amongst other things. She gave me a lecture about the drugs, and said she could fix it but that if I carried on with the drug use I would just get myself back into the same situation again. The session continued and needless to say she removed a HEAP load of entities who had attached themselves to me in my weakened state. Then all of a sudden she got very serious. She told me that she had just had a message from my guides, something to do with destiny and freewill. She said that I was at a choice point and if I took the wrong route the consequences would be "absolutely disastrous" and looked me straight in the eyes. She told me that it made her want to cry it was so sad. She basically said that I can never do any kind of drug ever again if I want to stay healthy, and she didn't need to say it but I knew she was talking about schizophrenia. I went back to see her a few days later and she elaborated and said she had been shown a vision of me at a festival, where I had tried some drug I'd never done before where I freaked out and felt something off about one of the people I was near.. I figured out it was when me and my boyfriend had done some 6-apb for the first time, and were feeling pretty spaced out when a guy sat down next to us and offered us some 2cb, which like complete idiots(!!!) we took, even though both substances were unknown/new to us.. I freaked out (for the first time ever) and had to get away from the fire we were sat around. It just felt so WRONG. And since then, whenever I've been at a festival I've always felt like I have a bad vibe, but couldn't really explain it as I never felt like before. So basically she said that when I took the 2cb I had opened a doorway to something, another dimension, and that every time I take drugs from now on that doorway will reopen, and there's nothing anyone can do about it, not even her. She said "listen, I don't mean that if you carry on you will end up schizophrenic years down the line, we are talking much sooner." And I trust this lady, she is true healer with real gifts, she wasn't just trying to scare me. And deep down I've known for a while that I've been getting myself into a sticky situation with drugs. But apart from that one night, and maybe one other when I took acid, I've never had many "bad trips". I've had uncomfortable trips but you know, I'm not the kind of girl who's prone to psychosis, or so I thought. Anyway it has all come as quite a shock to me. I will easily be able to give up all the "feel good" drugs, but the one thing that it will break my heart to give up is mushrooms. They have helped me so much in my life, given me real insights and I credit them with waking me up to spirituality. I am absolutely gutted, but at the same time I know that she is right. I already had inkling about this before she told me. I was just wondering whether anyone else has ever had a similar experience? -------------------- The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death. Tomorrow, when resurrection comes, The heart that is not in love will fail the test. ~ Rumi The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny. ~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir
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Jesus Christ Tacos Registered: 11/26/09 Posts: 2,131 Loc: Brazil Last seen: 10 years, 11 months |
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This interests me a lot..... when I do a powerful psychedelic other than K, DMT, or Salvia, I feel as if the anxiety, the need for ideal environments, the discomfort are all because of a weak or fractured aura..... I think this is how people that do stimulants a lot like cokeheads etc end up aging so much faster... and even L popping hippies you know?
Your story is straight out of a movie... do tell more..... I use an amethyst btw for meditation, healing, psychic shit, and psychic defense.... It seems to also keep me more sober (higher tolerance) to drugs and more self conscious about using said drugs..... Anyway, I believe if we dont give up substances completely, there is still a time when we need to really quiet down our use because the tools can only take you so far...... -------------------- I am a chronic liar.
Edited by Seanfu (09/21/12 08:56 AM)
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☾☼☽ Registered: 12/28/08 Posts: 2,401 Loc: A human sphere e Last seen: 8 months, 7 days |
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Yeah she's correct. After popping 2C-B once I too opened a channel that will never close. Full blown close encounter of the fourth(/5th) kind. On the flip side, there is something grand coming out of this. Your brain is wide open and recieving to such a point that you do not actually ever need to take a hallucinogenic substance again. I get psychedelia off all mind altering substances now, even alcohol.
The bad vibe you feel, you must listen to, absolutely must. She is totally correct: once you open the floodgates, they will never close again. This is the way the human brain works. Not only that but you see this vibe; it's a signal. Somewhere along the line, if you keep tripping, your mind will rip into two, it will shatter into a thousand pieces. It's hard to explain so I'll leave it at that. You need to work on being grounded more than anything. Such open channels basically mean your higher chakras would be surging with energy but they need a stable foundation to run on. At the moment you're like an upside down pyramid, it could topple whenever. You're at risk of several psychiatric disorders at the moment and I'd strongly suggest you stop all actively psychedelic substances, including weed. Generally anything acting on the 5HT2a receptors such as mushies or LSD or DMT, you should stay away from and also the NMDA dissociatives like ketamine and methoxetamine. There are a few more factors which will place you at risk: stress, sedentariness/stagnation and dietary deficiencies. You would do very well to do this as your brain is certainly in a highly sensitive state and requires all the nourishment it can get. Anyway, you might wanna start reading: http://revisionings.org/biologyo -------------------- "Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern." "THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker "If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific
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Registered: 01/18/10 Posts: 1,773 |
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Quote: Yeah definitely. My understanding is that the sudden artificial raise of vibration can cause rips and tears in the aura and that's certainly been my experience. It's the second time that an energy healer has had to fix my aura for me thanks to drugs. Certainly recently I've noticed that when I smoke weed it leaves me pretty much defenceless, like all my shields are down completely and I feel overwhelmed by negativity a lot of the time, hence why I've now stopped smoking, even before I realised the full extent of the damage I'd done! I was having a chat with my friend recently and we both found that using MDMA causes us to have sleep paralysis a few days later, both of us feeling like some massive negative entity is sat right on top of us and we can't move. I think it's something to do with serotonin depletion leaving you wide open to attack possibly?
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Jesus Christ Tacos Registered: 11/26/09 Posts: 2,131 Loc: Brazil Last seen: 10 years, 11 months |
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Quote: Those chemicals probably physically manifest part or at least regulate the aura... who knows. Here's a visualization technique for you. try me out -------------------- I am a chronic liar.
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Registered: 01/18/10 Posts: 1,773 |
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Quote: Wow, well I guess it's kind of nice to know I'm not the only one, not that I would really wish this on anyone. Can you elaborate on how you can use this to your advantage? Quote: Well, I've officially given up weed as of two weeks ago anyway. And I will grudgingly give up the rest I guess! I think would rather keep my sanity...To be honest I count myself very very lucky at the moment. The 2cb incident happened over a year ago and I've tripped countless times since then and been mostly OK (except blasting my aura to smithereens!), but recently have started feel like I am on a slippery slope...Have you found there's anything you can safely use besides alcohol? I feel like I've become very sensitive to energy over the last year or so. And I've already had some problems with intrusive thoughts and OCD which I thought I could put down to the entities and the feeling like something evil is inside me, but even though they've now been removed I am still having problems. It seems like a programmed response now, like I think I will have an intrusive thought and then I do. Hoping it's something I can work through in time... Thanks for the advice about the chakras, defo feeling like I am top heavy at the moment and need to work on it!
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Controversial Mystic Registered: 02/17/11 Posts: 4,826 |
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follow what you feel is right, however, I will say that this is not the end of your psychedelic experiences.
-------------------- Orgone Conclusion...Bringing OTD to PS&P since 2007.
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Stranger Registered: 09/26/12 Posts: 1 Last seen: 11 years, 4 months |
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I had a very similar experience with 6-apb, took some one night by myself and had hellish type visions and extreme paranoia. Drove myself to the ER and stayed there until my symptoms subsided but I haven't been the same since. That night, I literally felt a sudden "shift" inside my head, as if my brain had changed somehow, and now have constant pressure inside my head and altered perception of everything. Fast forward to today, taking 6-apb has left me with anxiety problems, paranoia, and slight hallucinations, + almost all the symptoms of beginning stage schizophrenia. I feel like I give off bad vibes all the time and people tend to avoid me like the plague, even @ work. My close friends/family say I'm "different" now. On top of that, I've recently become afraid of looking @ myself in the mirror, I see myself physically but I don't recognize my old self, like something else has taken it's place. I feel all the time, like my mind will burst into a million pieces @ any moment with the tiniest push and it scares me a ton.
I'm going to go see a psychiatrist fairly soon but I'd like to know how your energy healing session went, and if the symptoms went away. It's something I might give a whirl.
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Astral Traveler Registered: 08/17/09 Posts: 1,237 Loc: Bay Area Last seen: 7 years, 3 months |
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Quote: WOW THANK YOU. I am here now 6 or seven months after the first kundalini raising experience I've had in this life and the upheaval that resulted was unimaginable. I thank you so much for this resource and for your wisdom, you touch many with your words. From the Intro to the book: "Transmutation doesn't "accidentally" just happen, it is the ultimate outcome of all life. All life in all its trillions and trillions of molecular and atomic transactions over the last 4 billion years is an inevitable chain of events autopoietically undertaken by a hylozoic universe to ultimately lead up to the transmuting human bodymind. We are the Universe becoming aware, that we are the Universe becoming aware of itself." WOW. Thanks. -------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Super Chimpanzee Registered: 10/26/07 Posts: 418 Last seen: 2 months, 23 days |
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Hello pocketlady,
I've had a similar experience once when I took acid after a night of drinking (I knew it wasn't a smart idea but as I was drunk it was a fuck it moment). Anyway I'm not sure about the whole aura thing as I've never been to an energy healer and don't know much about auras myself, but what proceeded to happen was the scariest thing I've ever been through. I felt as if I had slipped through the veil into a state from which I could see everyone's true motivations even before they did anything, most of which are quite selfish and greedy and ugly and I felt the draining effect that this has on my own energy, at the time it was so sudden and unexpected that I did not know what to do with it and it just freaked me the fuck out because the people that I thought of as my friends turned into my worst enemies, and the worst part was that I was acting the same way also, so on top of not being able to trust anyone I could not trust myself either. When I woke up the next day it was still happening, I became super paranoid about everything and even smoking weed started having this effect on me. Stubbornly I did not quit and trying to hold on has caused me much suffering, but slowly I started to find my bearings. Really I am amazed that I am still in one piece after all that has happened and all the mistakes that I've made that have brought me back to the same place again and again. But slowly I've been realizing that this may have been one of the best things that has happened to me, I've learned that we can be remarkably strong and resilient, and learning to pick oneself up after such an experience can be a great gift, albeit a great challenge. I'm here to say to you that I think what has happened to you is a blessing in disguise, you now have an opportunity to be the master of your own energy, perhaps even become an energy healer yourself. What you experienced is just life, we get tugged and pulled all the time by outside things and this adversely affects and drains our energy so that we end up slaves instead of masters - you just experienced this in a really extreme and intense way just as I have. But now what you do with it is up to you - now you see and once you see you have the possibility to do something about it. let me know if you would like to hear more namaste
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Registered: 01/18/10 Posts: 1,773 |
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Quote: Wow, I always knew there was something off about 6APB. The initial euphoria is great but it's so powerful and it always left me feeling really shitty and paranoid once the euphoria wore off. What's happened to you sounds exactly like how I've been feeling for the past 18 months. I HIGHLY recommend you go and see a spiritual/energy who can remove entities from you. It has certainly changed my life for the better after 18 months of hell. More and more over the last few weeks have I been feeling like I will break at any second. The last time I smoked weed there was a point where I knew that unless I changed my thinking to something unbelievably positive that in that instant I would actually lose my mind. Thankfully I didn't and decided to quit smoking weed which helped a lot. I can totally relate to what you are saying about looking in the mirror. I started to see what I thought were flashes of evilness in other people's eyes (seeing myself in other people I think), but then when I went for my healing session she got me to look in the mirror and see if my eyes looked the same. And they didn't, one looked distinctly evil and menacing, but the other one looked like me. She fixed my aura which was in a right mess and removed all the negative shit that had attached itself to me. I left there feeling so pure and clean and like a bubbly bouncing ball lol. Honestly, it's been a little over a week now since my healing session but I feel back to my old self again, although I am having to learn who that self is all over again, as lot of my behaviours (programmed fear reactions etc) have become ingrained now and I am having to try and undo that programming and find myself again. Please please get yourself to an energy healer, but in the mean time just know that these things LOVE negativity and deliberately try and induce fear in you because it's what they feed on. The important thing to remember is that they don't actually have that much power, which is why they need to influence you gradually, you still retain complete freewill and if you can keep yourself happy and positive and try to ignore them you are taking that power away from them. -------------------- The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death. Tomorrow, when resurrection comes, The heart that is not in love will fail the test. ~ Rumi The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny. ~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir
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Registered: 01/18/10 Posts: 1,773 |
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Quote: Thanks for your lovely words of encouragement bloodbrother, just what I needed to hear right now. Since the initial shock last week of being told that I can never take any drugs again ever I feel like I'm slowly starting to realise that (annoying as it is!) this could be the start of a wonderful new chapter in my life, and that perhaps I truly don't need drugs any more and can start doing things I was previously subconsciously scared to try. I also feel like I slowly beginning to realise my power and trust in it, rather than being terrified of it. Syncronicities seem to be happening all over the place and for the first time in a long while I truly feel like I can do anything I set my mind to! I've even got an interview next week for what could turn out to be my dream job (at least for the time being!). And yes, I feel so in control of my energy. My intuitive skills have come on in leaps and bounds in just 10 days and I'm figuring out I'm quite empathic too. I think your right in everything you say, and it's so reassuring to find people who've been in a similar situation say it's been such a positive experience. Would love to hear more about how your life has changed for the better
-------------------- The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death. Tomorrow, when resurrection comes, The heart that is not in love will fail the test. ~ Rumi The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny. ~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir
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☾☼☽ Registered: 12/28/08 Posts: 2,401 Loc: A human sphere e Last seen: 8 months, 7 days |
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Quote: Your appreciation is appreciated . Believe me, there are a HUGE number of people on Earth presently awakening Kundalini whether knowingly or unknowingly.However this is very important so pay attention. When the energy is blocked, your body will explode and your life will turn into a pile of mush until you fix it. Any blockade of the energy will manifest in every area of life. Gut aches, depression, anger, stress levels you didn't think you could experience, random aches, pains, lots of new relationships made, even more broken etc, etc. Conversely when you give the energy a clear path free of resistance to shine, you will feel this white hot inner fire consuming you every waking hour and moment. It's a feeling of supreme motivation, power and clear sight that you will not know you had, it's hyperspace. When kundalini arises, it's like a dam has burst. But now there is this limitless reservoir of fiery water that must now flow, it MUST release itself. Check out all the links in the 'protocol' section at the bottom left sidebar. Personally I did not pay attention to this and so I suffered heavily for a few years. Your NUMBER ONE priority after breaking the dam is to detox the living shit out of your body and eat only the purest of the pure of foods. Heavy metal detox, parasite detox, preservative/artificial/'natural In fact I'll make this rather easy for you: pop down to the nearest GM free fresh organic grocer. Pick up one of every single green leafy thing, bright red thing, etc etc, as much as you can afford. Stick a portion of each into the blender and down that fuckin shake every day. -------------------- "Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern." "THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker "If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific Edited by crkhd (10/07/12 01:36 AM)
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Stranger Registered: 12/23/08 Posts: 8,292 Loc: Manchester, UK Last seen: 4 years, 7 months |
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These are my thoughts---it is up to you whether you take them or leave them. I wondered if you had already informed that healer beforehand and she cold-read you?
But whatever. I personally do not feel I am living in a universe where I need an aura 'forcefield?' around me to 'protect me from evil entities that wanna fuck wid me! No, I admit that we may veruy well have auras, as do leaves, and all beings, but that they are not like ARMOR to protect us from a hostile universe. I find that image abhorent, and it brings to mind the cops we are seeing now oppressing people worldwide with all that armor on. It is so uggggghhhhh. So no. I see the universe fundamentally interconnected and loving, and it is rather paranoia that makes it appear dangerous. Yes of course I'm aware there are dangerous people who will want to do bad things to you, but when you look at these peoples lives you find it isn't invisible entities who have got into their broken auras, but rather past abuses where their trust and love has been betrayed and stamped on and they then lose their soul. Admittedly I have never taken the drug you mentioned, but I TRUST life, and psychedelics for opening us up to love and not evil vampiric entities. Look at this for example: the shamanic initiation is reported to be a person who is vulnerable and sick ---their spirit body goes into the Otherworld and is attacked and torn apart by demons, and then s/he is reconstituted into a new body, with extrasensory abilities and powers to heal. Now, IF the universe was as hostile as you and your 'healer' are suggesting, how come that neophyte's shaman's experience doesn't have hir totally fucked with? Get me? I see it like this. There is no such thing as wholly evil spirits and wholly good spirits (or people or animals). It is more that good and bad are a dyanmic. You cant have one without the other. This is why there is life and death. We need death for regeneration. Yet some people will try and tell you death is evil, because they are not understanding the whole picture--which is not a static picture but dynamic experience.
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☾☼☽ Registered: 12/28/08 Posts: 2,401 Loc: A human sphere e Last seen: 8 months, 7 days |
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Fundamentally nature is a very warm hug, to put it lightly. You are totally cared for in every way, shape and form.
But as soon as you reject that love? Chomp chomp motherfucker. Total surrender is total acceptance of ecstatic bliss. But any element of non-surrender, any lack of faith is a path for suffering/evil to make its way in your direction. -------------------- "Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern." "THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker "If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific
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Jesus Christ Tacos Registered: 11/26/09 Posts: 2,131 Loc: Brazil Last seen: 10 years, 11 months |
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Quote: I believe its chomp chomp no matter what. -------------------- I am a chronic liar.
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Stranger Registered: 12/23/08 Posts: 8,292 Loc: Manchester, UK Last seen: 4 years, 7 months |
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Quote: So you saying that if you resist psychedelic experience you have a bummer? Is that what you mean?
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Registered: 01/18/10 Posts: 1,773 |
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Quote: Yes I'd been to see her before but never mentioned any drug use besides smoking weed. She knew as soon as I went in there from the state of me that I had been taking other things. Quote: In my mind there is absolutely no doubt as to the existence of auras. Everything gives off an energy field and that's all it is. If you didn't have an energy field at all you would be dead. And I'm not saying I believe we live in a completely hostile universe either. We all already have armour in the form of skin for example, which protects us from microbes and other infections amongst other things. Sure, the world can be a lovely place but there are still things out there we need protecting from. Shamans believe that illness is caused by a spiritual intrusion of some kind. And as much as this lady could be "cold reading" me, it's funny because I've had a pretty serious illness the past 18 months which started shortly after I had this incident. Even funnier is that over the last two weeks I've finally started to battle it off. Too many coincidences for me to right it off as nonsense. Add to the fact that I've had dreams of being attacked/could actually feel things attacking me whilst in bed. Quote: Yeah I agree, the universe is for the most part loving and interconnected and fear can be a very dangerous thing. But how do you know it's not entities if you can't see them? Shamans and energy healers alike believe that we are most vulnerable to these intrusions when we get stamped on and lose our souls. When we are weakened or in the fear they can come right in. For ages I thought "new age" types were trying to shirk responsibility, and that any darkness is ours and we must take responsibility for that and stop trying to blame it on outside forces. But I realised that in light of all this entity stuff that hasn't really changed. We let these things in when we are in darkness and we are responsible for them. Quote: Yep, I trust NATURAL psychedelics and am really really going to miss them. But man-made chemicals are just not designed for our bodies can damage them, either physically or on an energetic level, and I wish I had realised that sooner. Mushrooms, cactus etc are designed to take you to certain places, higher realms etc. They teach you true lessons because that's what they were designed to do for us, by nature. I think acid also has the ability to show you certain things and is the "nicest" synthetic chemical I've ever tried, but even that can't teach you things in the same way mushrooms can. But trust me when I say...6 APB is nasty...really nasty...The euphoria is great, but even then it feels a bit dirty and the comedown is horrid. And the 2CB, well either one of the these drugs on there own might not be so bad, as well as freaking out that night I also got uncontrollable leg spasms which I've never had before, and that to me hints that there was some extra energy in me that's not supposed to be there. Incidentally from that point on mushrooms also gave me these spasms... Quote: Yep, and the initiatory illness that shamans often get closely resembles schizophrenia, a calling to them, they are traditionally "chosen" to be shamans by the universe. And traditionally it is said that if the shaman does not follow their calling then often they will actually die. Quote: Yeah I totally agree, but you have to admit there are some dark people out there who have almost completely forgotten their good bits, and I think it's the same with spirits. Even though there is always light it doesn't stop these people or things from wanting to harm us. Sometimes they don't even want to harm us, we are just a source of food, just like parasites need to live off a host. My understandin is that there is also a range of other beings out there, from these small parasite like beings who just want to feed, to full on intelligent beings from other dimensions. The parasites are around us all the time, practically everyone has parasites of some form or another, but it would take something big (like a crazy drug experience for example) to end up with a problem with one of these highly intelligent beings. All in all very similar to the range of life-forms we find on our planet. -------------------- The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death. Tomorrow, when resurrection comes, The heart that is not in love will fail the test. ~ Rumi The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny. ~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir
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Registered: 01/18/10 Posts: 1,773 |
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Quote: Thanks for the info crkhd, and sorry if I didn't make my appreciation clear before. Really grateful to have found some people who've have similar experiences and are kind enough to share. When this happened to you did your kundalini awakened immediately or was it a gradual thing? Because although I might be showing a few of the psychological symptoms I really haven't got many physical symptoms at all. Anyway I've taken your advice and have been working on the lower chakras, two of which were completely blocked but I'm getting there and am actually starting to feel a lot more stable and grounded, so thanks. -------------------- The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death. Tomorrow, when resurrection comes, The heart that is not in love will fail the test. ~ Rumi The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny. ~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir
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Super Chimpanzee Registered: 10/26/07 Posts: 418 Last seen: 2 months, 23 days |
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Quote: I'll be honest with you: it definitely has not been easy, but it's been a trip since then and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel incredibly lucky to have realized through this, and other, experiences that what I really want and what I really need is on the inside, not outside. I was entirely too obsessed with other people's opinion of me and that's what made my experience so scary because I really didn't want OTHER people to think that I am crazy. Not to say that I don't still obsess over outside things from time to time as it is easy to get caught up in them, but slowly I've been turning my attention inward more and more and am now on the path to becoming my own person - which I think is the only thing that really matters in this life because how can we have anything if we don't even have ourselves? My life used to be nothing but obsession and I didn't even see it, I'm lucky because I think I could have lived my whole life that way. I've always had this dream to make the world a better place, before I had no idea on how to do it - now I know that it starts with me. When I started using psychedelics I did it to gain a greater understanding of myself and the universe, and ultimately I have received the insight that is leading me down the path of discovery, even though the journey has been more painful than I imagined it I know now that whatever happens I can handle it. I still have a good relationship with psychedelics, and I also felt the annoyance about having to stop before, but now I know that everything they did for me I can do for myself and that is so much more valuable because if I can do it for myself without any help, I can do it always, and now I don't even feel the need to do psychedelics anymore, I am more interested in reaching the states I've experienced on psychedelics on my own. Give it a little time, soon you won't feel so bad over giving something up, just remember that you are giving it up for something much more precious - yourself.
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. Believe me, there are a HUGE number of people on Earth presently awakening Kundalini whether knowingly or unknowingly.