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 boredboy
The Reverend DoyBuh
Registered: 11/04/02
Posts: 142
Last seen: 19 years, 7 months
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 Educate yourself-Depersonalization 
#1681806 - 07/02/03 10:39 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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After reading these forums for about a year ive noticed that many people posting "Im feeling fucked up and I dont know whats wrong and my doctor doesnt know" and I feel that some of these cases might be depersonalization, a mental health disease. It can come about from just about anything, but in a lot of cases drug usage (esp weed) can trigger a full blown assult. The feeling can be described as this-
"It may happen when you first wake up, or while flying on an airplane or driving in your car. Suddenly, inexplicably, something changes. Common objects and familiar situations seem strange, foreign. Like you've just arrived on the planet, but don't know from where. It may pass quickly, or it may linger. You close your eyes and turn inward, but the very thoughts running through your head seem different. The act of thinking itself, the stream of invisible words running through the hollow chamber of your mind, seems strange and unreal. It's as if you have no self, no ego, no remnant of that inner strength which quietly and automatically enabled you to deal with the world around you, and the world inside you. It may settle over time, into a feeling of "nothingness", as if you were without emotions, dead. Or the fear of it may blossom into a full-blown panic attack. But when it hits for the first time, you're convinced that you're going insane, and wait in a cold sweat to see when and if you finally do go over the edge."
So anyway, because I think that people on this board may suffer from it and if you dont you still might find it intresting, read up at
http://www.depersonalization.info/main.html
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Happy on the pull of the past
Just before the future comes
Hoping for the rush of some experience
That could elevate me
Up above the daily hum
-The Flaming Lips
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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 Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: boredboy]
#1681816 - 07/02/03 10:41 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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sounds like bad stuff 
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the free thinker
salesman
 
Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 1,877
Loc: twin cities
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: Dreamer987]
#1683763 - 07/03/03 11:25 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thank you boredboy, I have recently wondered what was going on inside of my head, after seeing that site, I guess I have DP. It's not that bad, in fact, I feel like I am more able to see the world as it really is now.
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 Ripple
Ripple
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: boredboy]
#1683812 - 07/03/03 11:47 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thanks for posting!
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The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada 
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: boredboy]
#1684580 - 07/03/03 05:24 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yes that was an excellent read!
Looks like I have DP though, if what it says is true 
But if that's the case...I kinda like having it.
Sometimes cold detatchment shows more of the picture 
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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BOBs
bobby digital
Registered: 07/24/99
Posts: 843
Loc: CO
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: boredboy]
#1685079 - 07/03/03 09:41 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Sounds familiar to me.
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Crass
Explorer of theMind
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 626
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: boredboy]
#1685166 - 07/03/03 10:36 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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I just want to remind all of the teen shroomerites who are reading this that many times you might experience what you think is a mental disorder but really is just part of growing up... also everyone has a few symptoms of having a mental disorder, but that doesn't mean they actually have it, it's just part of being human.
I hope that made sense 
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monoamine
umask 077(nonefor you)
Registered: 09/06/02
Posts: 3,095
Loc: Jacksonville,FL
Last seen: 18 years, 6 months
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: boredboy]
#1685706 - 07/04/03 02:35 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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I believe I have some form of depersonalization disorder,but it was diagnosed as panic disorder. I had it long before I ever smoked weed or did any psychedelics. I can't say they've helped, but they haven't really hurt either.
Anyway, what you wrote describes my "panic attacks" almost perfectly. I get them every once in awhile and I totally feel like I'm loosing my mind (similar to high dose of DXM or ketamine).
My doc and I think I may have some kind of siezure disorder where I get minor localized siezure activy in my brain that may have caused these symptoms. I take a benzo (Ativan) that works like an anti convulsant and it really helps. When I take my meds,my symptoms are almost completely gone.
The only problem is: now I'm seeing a different doctor. He's a real asshole and he thinks I'm just trying to get benzos to get high,so he never gives me enough to last until the next visit. So about a week out of every month, I run of of meds and all that shit comes back with a vengance. I swear,if that fuckin' quack doesn't give me more meds,I'm going to wring is neck. I'm completely serious. 
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People think that if you just say the word "hallucinations" it explains everything you want it to explain and eventually whatever it is you can't explain will just go away.It's just a word,it doesn't explain anything...
Douglas Adams
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DiMiTriSouljah
No left turn unstoned
Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 1,122
Loc: ked in a Skin Pinata
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: monoamine]  1
#1685816 - 07/04/03 04:47 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Take some 5-MeO-DMT and you might realize that depersonalization isn't all that bad after all. Shit, I'd rather be one with the cosmos, infinitely stretched in all directions throughout all space and time than have the only windows of my perception be two sullen eyes, on any given opportunity.
Suddenly, inexplicably, something changes. Common objects and familiar situations seem strange, foreign. Like you've just arrived on the planet, but don't know from where.
This used to happen to me as a kid all the time (and to this very day, but the strongest drug I took as a kid was tylenol and I doubt that that's what caused me to hallucinate from time to time). This is a strange, foreign place to all of us and we're still very much just waking up in our minds and in the world around us.
It's as if you have no self, no ego, no remnant of that inner strength which quietly and automatically enabled you to deal with the world around you, and the world inside you. It may settle over time, into a feeling of "nothingness", as if you were without emotions, dead.
I would say it's the exact opposite. People often argue the same thing about meditation, that it's nothing but a 'blank' state of mind...when really, in my opinion, it's a state of complete and total awareness. This 'nothingness' that is described is no more than a merging with the tao in my opinion (which, I may add, is nothing like nihilism in any way). It's the ability to step outside of one perspective and see things in a fourth-dimensional, all encompassing, anything-is-possible kind of light.
I don't know, just my take on it. I don't mean to offend anyone who has this particular disease and I am in no way making light of a serious situation. I was just pointing out that we still have a lot to learn about ourselves and people are often very ready to scapegoat drugs as the culprit for any 'negative' change in their situation. I have personally felt very similar things to the above text, but have never in any way considered it a negative thing.
*climbs off soapbox*
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In the end, my friend, we will all be together again.
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funwithdxm
Registered: 11/25/02
Posts: 523
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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 Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: monoamine]
#1686225 - 07/04/03 10:17 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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I was thinking that this sounded just like a high dose dxm trip. I find these affects pleseant, Maybe Dxm causes this even when not high on it? if that made sence somehow.
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..respect the elders..
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boredboy
The Reverend DoyBuh
Registered: 11/04/02
Posts: 142
Last seen: 19 years, 7 months
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: DiMiTriSouljah]
#1686276 - 07/04/03 11:03 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
DiMiTriSouljah said:
Take some 5-MeO-DMT and you might realize that depersonalization isn't all that bad after all.
Although I dont have it personally, my friend recently devoloped it and he assures me that its no stroll thru candy land. I think one of the resaons chancing our perception is enjoyable is because it is indeed a change, a change from "normal" to "3rd eye open". Also, you can controll this change quite well, aka whenever you put a substance in your body. At first my friend would just get little "flashes" of depersonalization, saying that he suddenly felt completely dead and very robot like, peoples faces would look cartoonish, he would become disassioated with common objects etc. Then one day a few months ago he got a wiff of bud and he was thrown into that same feeling/state for the last 4 months. Constantly feeling fucked up/stoned/semi tripping? No thanks. He claims he cant think straight because he just gets caught in thought loops and he feels completely debheliated from everyday life (he cant go to concerts, he cant go to parties (smelling bud makes it a lot worse he says), hes on a whole new level of functioning. And remember, this feeling is constant, from when you wake up to when you go to bed. And finally, considering this guy and I have been extremely good friends for 6 years and the fact that I have noticed a severe change in his personality I am very convinced that this is a real sympton, a lot different from the feelings that you get from growing up or just being depressed.
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Happy on the pull of the past
Just before the future comes
Hoping for the rush of some experience
That could elevate me
Up above the daily hum
-The Flaming Lips
Edited by boredboy (07/04/03 11:06 AM)
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Jared
Stranger
Registered: 04/22/01
Posts: 8,783
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Re: Educate yourself-Depersonalization [Re: boredboy]
#1688320 - 07/05/03 03:59 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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