Home | Community | Message Board


Magic-Mushrooms-Shop.com
Please support our sponsors.

Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> Mushroom Cultivation

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Amazon Shop for: The Doors

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
Offlinehyper_dermic
stranger withcandy

Registered: 06/26/02
Posts: 736
Loc: the land of excess
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues
    #1679302 - 07/02/03 07:12 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

ok, so i along with a few other growers have been having problems with bugs eating up our mushroom patches...
this shit has been pissing me off...
well today i got my revenge. :devil:

i just happened to wake up at around 4:30 am.... i couldnt fall back asleep so i putzed around the house for a bit... it started to get light out around 5ish so i went out in the backyard...  i love this time of the mornin, its beautiful, the sun's bitch ass isint fully out yet so hes not all in your face n' shit...

anyhow, i walked down to my little mushroom patch to check up on its progress, everything seemed fine... there werent alot of bugs near it.. infact less bugs than during the day.... then i noticed these funny lookin rocks....

:wtf: are these little things i wondered... so i picked one up for further inspection....

Hmm small, about a quarter inch if that..... wait a min.....
Oh NO!!! NO YOU DIDNT' :alert: a mother fuckin SNAIL!!!!! all this time im thinkin bugs, beetles, birds, and its a mother FUCKIN SNAIL! thats jackin my shrooms!!

just then my garden gnome stumbed down the driveway....
i looked at him and said "late night huh?" "ya get lucky?"
he proceeded to vomit on his pointy little shoes....
ah well, gnomes never could hold their liquer....

after his purge i told him about my findings......
we crouched down and checked out the patch
shure as shit, i counted atleast 5 snails....
"OH NO THEY DIDNT!" said the gnome.
"Thats what i said."
"You know what we got to do, right"
the gnome looked up at me...
Gnomey: "Itz Time to REGULATE!!!!!"

We busted out the doors strapped with 2 cans of Salt
Gnomey wanted to just roll up like gangbustaz and light the whole place up, but i convinced him to chill and play it smooth, the out numbered us 2 to 1, and who the fuck knows whats hidin under the soil.....

so we crept up on em... playin like we just 2 drunk ass fools walkin home...  we came up on the patch and split up... he circled left and i circled right
BAM! :evil: we popped open the cans and made a perimiter!!! these slimey fucks aint leavin the patch alive!!!!

the ring of death was set up... the snails knew they were done.. but they had heart... they was fixin on takin us down too...
like really really slow lightening they were all headin straight at us... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 DAMN!!! Where all these motha fuckas come from!!
"they must of heard us setting up the perimiter from underground!"
Just then 3 of the BIGGEST MEANIST NASTIEST Fat-Ass, Snot-drippin, Pus-colored Slugs Bursted out from the dirt!
"looks like we're the ones that are trapped!" i screamed
Gnomey just looked at me with that crazy fuckin look gnomes get.
"Just try to keep up" he says.

and before i could blink an eye this fool was saltin the shit out of everything thing that moved! dodgin snails left and right as he concentrated on the slugs....
he just kept on taunting them as he melted their asses like ice-cream on a hotplate, in your grandma's basement (ok so i need work on my metaphores..)

i just stood there, jaw open, watching this little freak do backfips and drop kicks....
i was amazed he destroyed every single one of those snials and slugs.. i mean he fuckin pwned them!
he was a crazy fuckin ninja on crack with a pointy red hat.

"Dont just stand there FOOL! Lets get the fuck out of here! I aint takin the heat on all these bodys!"
gnomey was right, i could hear the sirens in the distance.... it was a graveyard... slime and melting bodies everywhere... i almost lost it...
just then i felt his stone hand come crashing down on my face....
"WAKE UP FOOL! LETS ROLL!"

just what i needed to bring me to my senses.....

we ditched the salt in a sewer and headed to the safehouse for a while (my uncles toolshead)
"yo u think they comin for us?" i asked

"the cops or the snails?"

"shit, i dunno, either one"

"well the cops aint gonna care, just a bunch of crooked ass snails n' slugs gettin salted. shit like that goes down all the time in my hood."

"well i aint from your hood gnomey... i cant afford to have no damn cops OR snails comin for me"

"yo, chill.... gnomey gonna take care of all dis mess"

"aight then, im gonna head back home, i think the coast is clear.... and gnomey... thanks for steppin up back there..."

"what are gnomes for" he replyed.

and just like that, my slug problem was solved....

[hyp]
 


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,360
Loc: In the jungle
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: hyper_dermic]
    #1679314 - 07/02/03 07:21 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

*LAUGHING MY ASS OFF* You are a great narrator!  :smile:  Glad you found your problem, lol!  :grin:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleMycoCakeEater
Old Hand
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/16/03
Posts: 1,572
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: MOTH]
    #1679631 - 07/02/03 10:10 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

1 word...........MOVIE! :cool: 


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleMycoFactory
Mr MycoBag

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 549
Loc: NC, USA
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: MycoCakeEater]
    #1680083 - 07/02/03 12:57 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Ha! thats a great story.  :lol:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblejojoba
RockMoNsTa

Registered: 07/07/02
Posts: 941
Loc: SPaCE
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: MycoFactory]
    #1680095 - 07/02/03 01:02 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Damn that is some funny  as shit man.. write us some more of you ventures. :smile:


--------------------
CLICK HERE FOR MY HUGE TRADE LIST ~~ CLICK HERE
Looking For These Items
Various Plants and Seeds.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineresin
Ghetto Monster
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/12/02
Posts: 2,815
Loc: Ca$hville
Last seen: 19 days, 17 hours
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: jojoba]
    #1680280 - 07/02/03 02:08 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

You sound like Moe....I just cut those fucks with a knife


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleCracka_X
Spiritual Dirt Worshipper
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 8,780
Loc: Swamp
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: hyper_dermic]
    #1680555 - 07/02/03 04:23 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

hahahaha, awsome... I aint got slugs attacking my patch tho. is yours on marshland or something?


--------------------
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao        ~Daodejing


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinehyper_dermic
stranger withcandy

Registered: 06/26/02
Posts: 736
Loc: the land of excess
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: Cracka_X]
    #1681432 - 07/02/03 10:20 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

wow im glad u guys actually liked this story, it started out as a normal post, but i really wanted to work the gnome into it (see previous post about the 200,000th shroomery post and me winning the contest).

so one thing leads to another, and next thing i know im totally engrossed in writing this story.....

i got to the end and almost deleted it, i was like, "man these kids are gonna think im weird" then i realised... "um, im posting this on a board that discusses growing magic mushrooms"..
DUH....
i AM weird....
and so are all of you!



Man as far as the movie goes,  i will only sell my rights if i can have complete control of which actors play the parts...
so far i can only think of ONE person for gnomey, i think all of you know who im "talkin about'" :hint:hint:

thats right!

gary coleman!!!!!
dude, seeing him in that pointy red hat would make my little heart swell with joy!! :heartpump:

cracka_X....

my patch is in a shady spot next to my patio.. no water or nothin... i have no friggin clue where they came from.... it was like a fuckin army spawned from hell, they just kept comin and comin..

i cleaned up all the twigs and leaves from the area, set some beer traps, and drew lines of salt all around my patches.

now my patches look like some weird fuckin ritual sight with salt offerings and beer and dead buried chicken heads... i cant wait, my fuckin neighbors are gonna see this shit and call the cops on me....
maybe they will have an intervention with the local preist.


there are new neighbors movin in next door AND across the street... maybe THEY brought the fuckin snails with em!
maybe THEY ARE SNAILS!!!!!!!!

holy shit man! i better stop them before they take over my whole fuckin block!!!

ive got to act quick!
im gonna go throw salt and beerbottles at their house.. that should drive them away....

wish me luck!!

[hyp] 


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleMycoCakeEater
Old Hand
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/16/03
Posts: 1,572
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: hyper_dermic]
    #1681436 - 07/02/03 10:23 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I think maybe you should start eating all of the bugs in your crop. Show them who's boss! LOL j/k :cool:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinehyper_dermic
stranger withcandy

Registered: 06/26/02
Posts: 736
Loc: the land of excess
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: MycoCakeEater]
    #1685493 - 07/04/03 02:49 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

man ive been havin so much bad luck with my growin lately.....
ive pretty much given up on the outdoor patches.... i won the battle, but i think they may win the war..

i cant be wakin up at 5AM every fuckin mornin to wreck their slimy asses.... and gnomey got busted on an outstanding warrent, so hes down at county for the next 2 months...

heres a real fuckin treat....
i had a moldy caseing (pre-first flush.... see i told ya im having bad luck)
so i put it in a little flower pot and covered it with vermicuite wet it down and stuck it in the backyard.... lets see the fuckin slugs climb up that fuckin thing...

anyways, im walking around my yard lookin for a nice place to put it, and what do i see... a whole fuckin patch of mushrooms growing about 30 feet from my poor eaten patch....
WTF!!!!!!!! why do the fuckin snails have to eat MY shit...
its gotta be MY FUCKIN PATCH DOESNT IT!!!! GOD DAMN THEM!!!!
and god damn those other mushrooms for taunting me!
so i took a leak on em and walked away.....

well my luck has to change sooner or later!


[hyp]



Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: hyper_dermic]
    #1769159 - 08/01/03 01:48 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Whooo :lol:  thats the funniest shit i'v read in a long time


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,360
Loc: In the jungle
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: Dreamer987]
    #1769195 - 08/01/03 02:02 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I know!! He got 5 shrooms from me for a great laugh!!!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibletripndicular
My Minds Eye IsRhizomorphic

Registered: 08/25/02
Posts: 2,791
Loc: Bowels of HELL
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: hyper_dermic]
    #1769230 - 08/01/03 02:09 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Keep up those apocaliptic slaughterings of the snails , THEY WILL BE BACK ! Snails and slugs can smell that yummy shit from miles away , they will be back I promise you that .
Good Luck and Happy Bug Hunting
May The Mushhroom Goddess Bless All Your Endeavors !
Trip n D


--------------------
Any information I give is not intended to aide you in the production of potentialy illegal substances !None of my exp comes from growing illegal varities , so take it as you will .
So with that said here is our mission statement .

Then the priest fell into a trance or swoon,& said unto the Queen of heaven ; Write unto us the ordeals; write unto us the rituals; write unto us the law !


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous

Post deleted by papaver [Re: MOTH]
    #1769238 - 08/01/03 02:13 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)



Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibletripndicular
My Minds Eye IsRhizomorphic

Registered: 08/25/02
Posts: 2,791
Loc: Bowels of HELL
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: ]
    #1769253 - 08/01/03 02:16 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I think Ronny James Dio would make a great gnome for this tale ! :wink: 


--------------------
Any information I give is not intended to aide you in the production of potentialy illegal substances !None of my exp comes from growing illegal varities , so take it as you will .
So with that said here is our mission statement .

Then the priest fell into a trance or swoon,& said unto the Queen of heaven ; Write unto us the ordeals; write unto us the rituals; write unto us the law !


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinehyper_dermic
stranger withcandy

Registered: 06/26/02
Posts: 736
Loc: the land of excess
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: THE BUGS! THE BUGS!!! THE BUGS!!! part II The saga continues [Re: tripndicular]
    #1769845 - 08/01/03 04:37 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

OMG this post is back... lol

im glad to see the post outlived my outdoor patches....

gnomey is still in jail ATM, but hes appealing on monday...
i wish he was around, cuz my bug problem has moved from outdoors to indoors recently
ive lost a 2quart casing to some little flying black gnat fucks.

ive never had problems like this before cuz i never grew in the summer time before....
i tell ya, nothin but headaches..

as far as the movie deal is going, i have not heard anything from warner brothers yet, but gary coleman says he loves the part of gnomey, and is intersted in the role.....

[hyp]


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

Amazon Shop for: The Doors

Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> Mushroom Cultivation

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* the bugs THE BUGS THE BUGS!! (need OUTDOOR GROW ADVICE)
( 1 2 all )
Cracka_X 2,638 29 07/06/03 09:54 AM
by jojoba
* Outdoor grow ???'s...rolly pollies/sow bugs/pill bugs psilog 1,593 4 04/03/07 01:48 PM
by Psychoslut
* Quicky Colonization II (Please post responses!!!) Smokemon 1,456 8 05/26/15 09:19 PM
by R0B0G3N3S1S
* Buckaroo Bulk Nugget Tek - grain to bulk in one sealed container
( 1 2 all )
buckaroobanzai 13,604 23 09/12/06 06:27 AM
by fingers
* Re: wierd bug morlahere 367 3 04/09/01 02:35 PM
by did alot of acid
* Pressure Cooker II JazzMatazz 596 6 01/31/03 04:06 AM
by JazzMatazz
* Re: Mycelium Syringes For Sale II oOjonahOo 1,363 13 03/08/01 11:14 AM
by Myceliumcake
* spore production part II decadude 552 5 05/11/03 09:04 AM
by Mike Elium

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Magash, Shroomism, george castanza, Prisoner#1, RogerRabbit, Citric, total, FooMan, 13shrooms, stonesun, EvilMushroom666, cronicr, PussyFart
1,156 topic views. 17 members, 94 guests and 16 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Mushrooms.com
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2016 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.064 seconds spending 0.004 seconds on 14 queries.