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OfflineAll We Perceive
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No cigs, no booze: my mind's grow log
    #16624083 - 07/31/12 05:51 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Adopting a healthy lifestyle is fucking challenging.  I quit cigarettes 5 days ago and just have been soooooooo irritable.  My roommate ditched me last night at the bar to hang with his ex and I texted him that I was angry he ditched me like 20 blocks from home and asked for an apology and he was like dunno what you're talking about bruh.  It kind of escalated and he texted me in the morning saying he was moving out a fucking day before rent is due claiming I have anger problems.  The thing is, I have never had any problems with him at all in the month I've lived there besides when he went to the hospital after having a bad trip and not telling me where he went.

I even told him that I would be irritable for like a week due to not smoking when I quit.  In truth, he was a pretty bad roommate who was constantly dramatic and messy, but still, I kind of feel like I overreacted at him about ditching me.  I'm pretty pissed I came back after our tiff and smoked 4 cigs too.  Meh.  I was just so pissed off.  Haven't smoked any today so that's a plus.  The real bitch is that my current roommate owns all the furniture so I'll be left with pretty much nothing. 

Then, later today, I go to plug in my headphones into my computer and there's something jammed into my headphone jack.  No clue wtf it is or how it got there.  Pretty mysterious.  It looks like the end of my other male/male cord broke off inside of the port.  I love listening to my headphones with my comp so it's really a fucking bummer.  I'll try and get tweezers to get it out or something.  :sad:

Despite wanting to drink less, I have been drinking more.  Like ranging from 2-6 beers/day for the past month or so.  It really makes me feel like garbage the next day; yet, my social existence is built around alcohol.  It's really fucking hard to drink less while not becoming a recluse.  Thankfully, my best friend just moved here from Florida and we've been doing a lot of non-drinking things like making meals together, frisbeeing, biking, etc.  That's really cool.  I've decided to go on a 30 day sobriety run starting today to force myself to become acquainted with non-drinking activities.  I also just got a mountain bike to try and hit the trails and focus my energy into becoming healthy while having fun. 

I guess I've been using alcohol and cigs as my primary destressor and I'm really fucking stressed right now between hoping I passed the bar exam, finding a job, my fucking headphone port, finding a new roommate, and trying to change my habits to something more positive.  I just feel like my life is spinning out of control but on paper it doesn't really seem that bad.  Dunno.  :shrug:  I think it's related to not having a job and not being in school with no discernible mandatory goals besides finding a job.  It makes me feel very vulnerable.  I guess I made this post just to type all this out and consolidate my substances threads into one main thread.

I've felt like I have been on the verge of this change for several months now.  It is exciting to see it actually happening, yet very scary.  Thanks for reading.  :sunny:


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

Edited by All We Perceive (08/01/12 11:28 PM)

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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16624231 - 07/31/12 06:16 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Wow, I feel like I can really relate. I am in a very similar situation. I am a day into quitting drinking (even a day sober was quite a milestone for me) and I also recently lost my roomate who just up and moved out on me. Im also up in the air about work, and how ill be paying for my bills, and food over the next few months...


Yeah, it is really stressful, having life so up in the air with so many different shoes yet to land. I suppose I just try and hold fast to the hope that things will work out alright in the near future.

As for the social life revolving around alcohol, I feel the same way. Its so hard to be sober, and hang out with people. Youre right, lots of social activity revolves around drinking. I like your idea of getting a mountain bike, I was thinking of doing the same thing.

I think the key factor is somehow finding activities and things to do that dont involve drinking, and hopefully finding some new people that dont drink to do them with :smile:


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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OfflineAll We Perceive
Sea Cucumber
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: ZippoZ]
    #16624378 - 07/31/12 06:41 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, I agree.  I have one particular sound tribe show that I always fall back on when I'm feeling ultra stressed.  It's probably the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.  Someone requested I make a tribe soundboard thread so I'll post it probably tomorrow if you want to listen to it.  I was just so stressed when I moved here knowing not a single person, I would listen to it pretty much constantly.  It feels like hugging someone you really care about. 

I think I will replace alcohol with weed after my sober month is over.  That seems, in general, much healthier.  I'm going to try and get back into meetup as well to meet some people doing healthy things.  In truth, I'm really fucking bored with drinking and I'm usually just miserable at the bar.  People who go to the bar all the time are usually just fucking boring.  I also find photography to be incredibly relaxing.  As my old counselor used to say, to live a healthy life, you have to surround yourself with healthy people doing healthy things. 

Thankfully, I have a decent amount of money saved up so I can survive for at least 3 months without a job provided I can find a roommate.  I live in a super trendy part of town in a super cheap place so shouldn't be tooooooo hard.  The market is really fucking tight; hopefully, I can find something.  No pain, no gain I guess.  I detest people content with mediocrity so at least I'm not a hypocrite.

What is your attraction to boozing if I may ask?


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16624475 - 07/31/12 06:59 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

My attraction to boozing...

Well, it kind of makes life easier.... I have had issues in the past, with depression, with anxiety, and especially with insomnia...

Most of the drinking i did was from the evening till i passed out, It was to get me to sleep, to shut down my overactive ADD ADHD mind.

The day I quit (yesterday) was the day I went to the store to get some otc sleeping pills.

I have justified my drinking in the past, by the fact that I have a business to run, and that its a big fucking deal. Pretty much a once in a life time opportunity. And ive been running this company for years. After I get these deals done, ill probably be set for a long long time, and after that, I always promised myself id go to rehab, clean up.

Im just kind of afraid that if i stay sober, i might just loose my fucking mind... and while that has happened several times in the past in my personal life, if it crosses over into my professional life, ill have nothing left...


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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Offlinelovemug
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: ZippoZ]
    #16624559 - 07/31/12 07:17 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Good news on the stopping smoking. The hard part is over and the rage will subside in the next few days. I cant offer much advice on drinking as i have never been a drinker.

I have several alcoholics in my family and friends and have always wondered how anyone could get addicted to drinking. I see no fun in it at all and personally feel its socially pushed on people from a young age to help hold people over enough to keep up the daily routine.

Again congrats on the quiting smoking!! You fucking rock my friend. Every little thing will feel like the end of the world and its all the more reason to realize how nicotine effects us not only physically but mentally.

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: lovemug]
    #16624581 - 07/31/12 07:21 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I can empathize with that.  It certainly makes life easier while you're drinking it in most cases.  I too only really drink at night.  The problem is that I cannot limit my drinking.  If I have more than 2 beers, the come down is so bad that I cannot stop drinking until I pass out.  This is most problematic at pricier bars when I'm low on cash.  Plus, stores stop selling beer at 12 while bars serve til 2; this creates incentive to stay at the bar and booze more if I have none at home.  The problem lies in drinking much more at the bar than I otherwise would at home. 

Taking the edge off of life via booze is truthfully really hard to beat.  Life just seems much more rosy three beers deep.  However, I remember that there was a time when I didn't booze or smoke cigs, and I survived just fine.  Even those four cigs I smoked made my lungs KILL this morning.  It was really miserable.  I really want to get to the point where I don't booze or smoke cigs because it will obviously and immediately negatively impact things in my life and I actually believe that is taking place.  I talked to a lady at the bar exam who took 30 days off boozing and she still doesn't drink like a year later.  She said her physical health improved so much she didn't want to go back.  Maybe the same will be true for me as well.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: lovemug]
    #16624593 - 07/31/12 07:22 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

lovemug said:
Good news on the stopping smoking. The hard part is over and the rage will subside in the next few days. I cant offer much advice on drinking as i have never been a drinker.

I have several alcoholics in my family and friends and have always wondered how anyone could get addicted to drinking. I see no fun in it at all and personally feel its socially pushed on people from a young age to help hold people over enough to keep up the daily routine.

Again congrats on the quiting smoking!! You fucking rock my friend. Every little thing will feel like the end of the world and its all the more reason to realize how nicotine effects us not only physically but mentally.




Thanks dude!  I too have many alcoholics in my family.  I don't think my drinking is a "problem" per se; it's certainly on the road to one now though, and knowing where that path leads makes me want to change course.  Thanks for the good vibes on quitting smoking dude.  It really has been challenging.

Oh and zippoz, I ended up making a tribe thread so if you want to listen be aware that I didn't have time to upload the show I was referring to here because my internet shit out mid upload. 


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

Edited by All We Perceive (07/31/12 07:26 PM)

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16631467 - 08/01/12 11:25 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Day 2 of no booze, day 6 of no cigs.  I'm VERY impressed with myself that I made it through the stress of my roommate moving out and fucking me with rent without resorting to leaning on these substances for stress relief.  I unfortunately did smoke like 4 after we got in the argument precipitating him moving out but nothing post when I was dealing with all this shit.  :feelsgoodman:  Also got my bike back today so I'm going to be riding around town on the reg once I can find a suitable helmet.  Then, the trails once I can find a suitable car rack for cheaaaap. My best friend here has been very supportive thus far as well.  Having my crazy roommate out strangely feels like telling a gf you no longer like to beat it.  Freedom.  I also met this chick who was looking at moving in.  She seems pretty fucking cool but someone beat her to the punch.  I think we'll end up hanging though.  I'm feeling pretty up and up right now. :rebelride:


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

Edited by All We Perceive (08/01/12 11:27 PM)

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OfflineSimms
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16632191 - 08/02/12 04:12 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I don't drink anymore, eat healthily. But I started smoking, sigh. The truth about it is that I don't even like smoke, I hate it. I hate the fact that the smoke poisons my lungs and makes them dirty. I should look into pipe smoking, is that any better/healthier? I do like nicotine though.

Gosh, I want a smoke.


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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: Simms]
    #16633063 - 08/02/12 10:22 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah smoking cigs make me feel like 100% garbage.  Be aware that once you get hooked, switching to pipe will be tough because you don't inhale with a pipe usually.  Because of this, pipe smokers, like cigar smokers, are looking at mouth and throat cancer instead of lung cancer as a general rule.  I don't know what the comparative probabilities are though.  Of course, it would depend on what the seller adds to the natural tobacco before sale.  Hookah is also known to cause stomach cancer so you really have no safe alternative.  Any way I look at it, knowing I HAVE TO HAVE nicotine makes me pretty pisssed at myself.  I hate being chained down like that.  Don't get me wrong, I love the socialness of smoking and the stress relief but that is just a crutch for poor social skills in certain situations and poor stress management.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16640241 - 08/03/12 02:21 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Day 4 of no booze / 8 of no cigs.  Been doing great!  No cigs or booze for me.  The real test will surely be this weekend.  Going to an art walk this evening and then a concert tomorrow night.  I'll probably smoke a J before the show so that should keep me entertained.  :gethigh:  I feel immensely healthier and my sex drive has gone up pretty considerably.  :feelsgoodman:  I also have been gaining some sort of bodily intensity where I feel much more in control of my body.  Must be the increased oxygen or something.  Fuck yeah!!!!  I also dropped 30 clams on a lighting system for my bike so I can ride it at night.  I just need a helmet now.  My buddy ALMOST got owned on his bike by this car hauling ass out of the alley the other day sooooo I don't want to end up like a vegetable.  I have a $50 gift card to REI so hopefully I can get something there for south of $100.

I have the strangest feeling though.  I always felt meek and weak with a lung full of cig smoke and a brain full of old booze.  Now, I feel able to accomplish much more.  I guess I feel more mentally clear or something.  This makes me feel strangely vulnerable.  Like I'm illegitimately passing my lot in life or something.  Feels pretty fuckin weird.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

Edited by All We Perceive (08/03/12 03:28 PM)

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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16641011 - 08/03/12 04:52 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

props to you man!

Im a day ahead on the alchy, (i dont smoke cigs)

im finding myself more active. The time i would spend sitting in my appt drinking have pretty much turned into me working on projects, or lots of hiking and walks in the area.

I also find myself a little dazed sometimes... kind of in an altered state so to speak, one that im not used to. Its all gooood though. I think im going to strap on the camel back and go for a little walk


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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OfflineUzziel
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: ZippoZ]
    #16641078 - 08/03/12 05:03 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Good work gentlemen... I too am working on quitting the devils liquid.. so enticing.

I'm only day 2... keep telling myself not to do it, but I get so much free alcohol its hard to turn down sometimes. Oh well... I'm gonna try my best because I know you guys are trying to quit too, I'll try and stick with it :thumbup:

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Offlineashfiken
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: Uzziel]
    #16644949 - 08/04/12 11:22 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I used to be a habitual smoker/drinker for years.
Now I've quit smoking for almost 3 months.
And havent been a habitual drinker for a few years.
Now I'm training to become a warrior!
And feel great!
I really hope you guys can shake those shackles bc they prevent your body greatly from performing ts best!
Cigarettes are hard! Lil tip of my own?
Smoke a joint every now and then. Even if you are strictly a glass using pot smoker, smoking the joint gives the mind a rest on the want to hold and smoke something in your fingers.
Good luck ! Remember those pathetic substances are not worth the damage they cause. Way I see it if I'm gonna hurt myself like that I'd rather just either save it all for celebratory occasions, or go all out and snort speedballs.

1L



--------------------
hmm...

"I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked."

"life isn't worth living without the threat of death"

"I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be"

"nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters"

My Trade List

Edited by ashfiken (08/04/12 11:22 PM)

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: ashfiken]
    #16648390 - 08/05/12 04:36 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Day 6 no booze, day 10 no cigs.  Made it through the weekend much easier than expected.  On Friday, some people kept giving me weird looks as to why I wasn't boozing eith them.  That was pretty uncomfortable.  Saturday wasn't bad though either way.  I was pretty worried about it bc I always booze hard and smoke madddd cigs at shows.  The stress of not having a roommate is starting to build though.  I have learned that it is extremely difficult to find a roommate in the beginning of the month.  Fuck i am jonesing for a cig.  I think I'm going to start meditating before I go to bed and when I wake up.  Maybe that will help release some stress.  I've been riding my bike like crazy but these crazy plant spikes keep puncturing my tubes.  I'm trying to save money with my bike not spend even more.  I also got a 50 dollar parking ticket for parking in a street streetsweeper zone.  I also owe the library some money for overdue shit. God damnit.  I feel like I'm being attacked by zombies and they keep eating another small piece of me.  Just need to stay focused somehow.

Yeah, I have been smoking a decent amount of weed.  I've been careful to only smoke for a purpose though... Like going to a show or something.  I don't want to turn myself into a burnout.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16648428 - 08/05/12 04:41 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

sounds like your at that point where the little things really start to agitate you. this too will pass :smile:

I feel ya on the social awkwardness of being out with friends and not having a drink, im really not looking forward to that. I always hate how people actually pressure me to drink sometimes.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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Offlineashfiken
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16648441 - 08/05/12 04:43 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Refer to the comment in this same subforum about constant pot smoke and burning out.
I simply don't believe in it. Unless, however, you already are a burnout.
But that doesn't seem the case since you are intelligently, consciously making an effort to better your living situation in a number of ways I can see.
Fuxk that roommate you will find a better one.
And fuxk the money you owe, don't worry bout it, pay whenever you can.
Good vibes to ya bro.
I still crave a cig every now and again 3 months later, unless I've got some mj in my pocket.

1L


--------------------
hmm...

"I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked."

"life isn't worth living without the threat of death"

"I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be"

"nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters"

My Trade List

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: ashfiken]
    #16648563 - 08/05/12 05:02 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

ZippoZ said:
sounds like your at that point where the little things really start to agitate you. this too will pass :smile:

I feel ya on the social awkwardness of being out with friends and not having a drink, im really not looking forward to that. I always hate how people actually pressure me to drink sometimes.




Yeah.  I just hate waiiiiting for a roommate knowing I'm losing money each passing day.  I am really ready for this to be over and I keep telling myself that it will be soon.

Yeah!  It really is awkward.  My close friends are all very respectful of my choices and they never offer me drinks or torment me by blowing smoke in my face or something of the like.  It's mainly just the look on the face of people i don't really know when I say I don't drink.  It makes them uncomfortable.  I honestly find no cigs to be much worse as far as everything else goes.  Smokers know the challenge and are much more respectful by and large of me trying to quit but the anxiety is pretty killer.

Quote:

ashfiken said:
Refer to the comment in this same subforum about constant pot smoke and burning out.
I simply don't believe in it. Unless, however, you already are a burnout.
But that doesn't seem the case since you are intelligently, consciously making an effort to better your living situation in a number of ways I can see.
Fuxk that roommate you will find a better one.
And fuxk the money you owe, don't worry bout it, pay whenever you can.
Good vibes to ya bro.
I still crave a cig every now and again 3 months later, unless I've got some mj in my pocket.

1L




Burning out was the wrong term.  I was referring more to replacing smoking cigs with a massive weed smoking habit.  I really shouldn't be smoking too much as I'm looking for a job and, honestly, when I smoke too much, I don't do anything productive and it makes me slow in the head.

Yeah.  Thanks for the good vibes.  I'm really trying to keep everything in perspective. By December, ill know where I stand both with the cigs/booze and what I need to do to stay in Colorado and survive.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

Edited by All We Perceive (08/05/12 05:07 PM)

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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16648626 - 08/05/12 05:16 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Sometimes when im on a sobriety binge, ill go out to the bar and just drink a tonic and lime. ( i stole the idea from the movie 21, where they look like theyre drinking to the cameras, but maintain their sober card counting edge :smile: )

For what its worth, i really love the feel of a cold icey beverage in a tumbler, be it kentucky straight bourbon or a glass of coke.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: ZippoZ]
    #16649013 - 08/05/12 06:27 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

That's a good idea.  Tanqueray and tonic is my drink.  That sounds similar enough.  Thanks for the idea.  I'll try that next time I'm at the bar.  :sunny:


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"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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OfflineKing Klick
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16650050 - 08/05/12 09:12 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Those salted cashews are fuckin with your head to bro. Lay off em. :header:


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Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul


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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: King Klick]
    #16650308 - 08/05/12 09:53 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

:lolsy:  Damn salted cashews!!!!  Seriously though, I fucking love cashews.  So fuckin awesome.  :aweoverdose:


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"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16692743 - 08/13/12 11:26 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

How's everyone doing?  I am doing pretty well.  Still no cigs.  That makes it approximately 3 weeks.  Fuck yeah!!!!!!  I did have 2 beers with the fam last night for dinner though.  My mom just drives me craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy, and I couldn't resist.  I'm pretty glad I stopped myself there.  Other than that, I've been good.  I went to a show the other day and was completely sober the entire time.  That was pretty cool.  The entire point of this has been to clean my system out and find new ways to have fun, and I think I'm meetings those objectives.  I feel WAY healthier and for some reason, I am getting a decent amount of body definition even though I just run around the park and ride my bike.  I really don't think about drinking anymore when I'm thinking about ways to have fun which is pretty cool!  It would be a lie to say I don't jones for a cig sometimes though--especially if mad people are blowing it in my face.  I smoked a pack a day though for like 8 years so I suppose that is to be expected.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16737508 - 08/21/12 03:54 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Just checking in.  Still have smoked 0 cigs since July 26th.  Coming up on my one month anniversary soon!!!!  :rave:  In the past week, I have had precisely one beer.  Due to my increased appetite, I've been eating A TON and it appears to be going straight to my muscles as I'm getting much better definition.  Must be all the outdoorsy shit I've been doing.  Who would have thought I would become an outdoorsy person?  :confused:  Riding my bicycle is seriously addicting.  I love that thing.  :inlove:

Quote:

Those salted cashews are fuckin with your head to bro. Lay off em.




I also switched off the cashews by buying giant trail mix containers which, although not cheap, are way better and cheaper than cashews.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

Edited by All We Perceive (08/21/12 04:00 PM)

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Offlineashfiken
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16737620 - 08/21/12 04:11 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

AWESOMES bro.

:thumbup:
Keep that shit up.

1L


--------------------
hmm...

"I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked."

"life isn't worth living without the threat of death"

"I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be"

"nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters"

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OfflineManianFH
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16738230 - 08/21/12 05:35 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

thats awesome dude!! im really happy to hear that youve done this for yourself, and that there are at least two of us on here who have chosen to stop that shit.

i havent had a cigarette or alcohol in 59 days or so. I know for a fact i will never smoke again. and the longer i go without booze the less I want to drink again. my brother had told me 4 months back that he just went a year without a drink. being a family with a rather intimate relationship with alcohol, I was super impressed with that. I think its part of what fuels me to keep going without.

I dont even want the shit anymore. I just wanna hit the gym and get PUMMPED UPPPP


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Offlinelumadaylight9
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: ManianFH]
    #16740410 - 08/26/12 09:31 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

1 month no cigs? Congrats man I really hope I can do this one day soon.

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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: lumadaylight9]
    #16740764 - 08/26/12 10:53 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Thanks guys :sunny:.  Technically, I quit on July 26 but had four cigs on July 29 late night so 30 days will be august 30.  I'm pretty stoked!!!!  My pal explained that cigs hold you back and i completely agree.  I just keep repeating that mantra.  Cigs do nothing more than give th illusion of control.  You can do it luma!!  You will feel 8474839348393*47 times better than you do now.  Nice mick thats legit.  Drinking is certainly losing its luster.  I've lowered my intake to none to just a few a week and its been working well.  I would rather smoke weed but with looking for a job, I need to be able to pass a drug test.  Fucking lame.  It's great not feeling like shit all the time.  My skin even looks better.  I just look healthier.  Not having to deal with mad cigs/booze combined hangover is pretty great.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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OfflineLuc1d
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: All We Perceive]
    #19414053 - 01/13/14 07:40 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

All We Perceive said:
Thanks guys :sunny:.  Technically, I quit on July 26 but had four cigs on July 29 late night so 30 days will be august 30.  I'm pretty stoked!!!!  My pal explained that cigs hold you back and i completely agree.  I just keep repeating that mantra.  Cigs do nothing more than give th illusion of control.  You can do it luma!!  You will feel 8474839348393*47 times better than you do now.  Nice mick thats legit.  Drinking is certainly losing its luster.  I've lowered my intake to none to just a few a week and its been working well.  I would rather smoke weed but with looking for a job, I need to be able to pass a drug test.  Fucking lame.  It's great not feeling like shit all the time.  My skin even looks better.  I just look healthier.  Not having to deal with mad cigs/booze combined hangover is pretty great.




Sorry to bump this but a year and a half after this thread was made and I am really curious how this all turned out for you AWP? Still livin the moderation life? Did your positive growth continue?


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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: I feel like my life is spinning out of control [Re: Luc1d]
    #19607294 - 02/23/14 03:44 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Luc1d said:
Quote:

All We Perceive said:
Thanks guys :sunny:.  Technically, I quit on July 26 but had four cigs on July 29 late night so 30 days will be august 30.  I'm pretty stoked!!!!  My pal explained that cigs hold you back and i completely agree.  I just keep repeating that mantra.  Cigs do nothing more than give th illusion of control.  You can do it luma!!  You will feel 8474839348393*47 times better than you do now.  Nice mick thats legit.  Drinking is certainly losing its luster.  I've lowered my intake to none to just a few a week and its been working well.  I would rather smoke weed but with looking for a job, I need to be able to pass a drug test.  Fucking lame.  It's great not feeling like shit all the time.  My skin even looks better.  I just look healthier.  Not having to deal with mad cigs/booze combined hangover is pretty great.




Sorry to bump this but a year and a half after this thread was made and I am really curious how this all turned out for you AWP? Still livin the moderation life? Did your positive growth continue?




Sorry for the late delay to this.  It was surprising that this thead got shown to me as I had honestly forgotten about it.  It has taken a few weeks to reflect.  It seems the past year has been the longest, yet shortest of my life.  work has been fucking C.R.A.Z.Y.  The receptionist just got fired because she was fat the other day and tons of other people have been getting laid off so I'm just trying to survive.  I have thankfully not been drinking as much still.  I was getting drunk like 4 times a week last springs... now once a week maybe.  Much better for my work since I commute an hour+ per way and basically have to manipulate people all day so I have to be at the top of my game.  Work is yet to get crazier still as half the firm splits off to leave the firm this week it looks like. 

THANKFULLY I have my mom who listens to all my bitching and this and that.  It's very ironic that she of all people (she hated blacks, mexicans, gays, arabs, with a firey passion growing up) is my main source of solace.  In a drunken moment 2 years ago, I unleashed to facebook that I was was a bi acid head.  For better or worse, my mom read that and has been very supportive surprisingly.  It's nice knowing that, despite her prejudices, she will love me no matter what. 

All I know is that I want to be a trial lawyer and I will do whatever it takes to get that.  I've been developing some phenomenal contacts in the field.  I just did an entire damages hearing on my own.  My supervisor implied to me that she could not have done better in a million years.  I think I truly have a gift for being a lawyer in many respects.  I just need to cultivate it.  Finding my place in the world has been hard.  Especially because I moved so far from almost everyone I know.  Whomever said the late 20s were hard wasn't lying.

Thank you very very much for bringing up this thread.  It's really been food for thought.


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"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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