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Anonymous #1

What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else?
    #15548360 - 12/20/11 11:45 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

So I've been hanging out with one of my best friend's sister since mid-August, but we've known each other for a long time and had more of a rapport the past several years. She's a few years older than me and one of the coolest girls I've had the pleasure of being friends with.

Since August it's been clear that there's something between us and for the past 1 to 1.5 months it's been clear she's been wanting me. Well she went for the kill on Saturday, she asked if she could kiss me, and after steaming up the windows of my car we ended up saying fuck what people think and spending the night together despite non-optimal living arrangements on both sides. The sex was some of the best I've ever had and certainly the most sensual/spiritually rewarding in 5+ years if not ever.

We're both relatively fresh out of long bad relationships: codependency issues on her end and abusive bitch on my end. I was partially worried that she would want to take things to the next level, but I was somewhat relieved when she told me today that she wanted to be clear that she didn't want a boyfriend and that sort of commitment. That's what I had figured and a serious future-focused relationship would be terrible for both of us at the moment.

For me there has been little difference in the past between my very good friends and my girlfriends besides the sex; I've always gone from very good friend to relationship. I'm not the sort to pursue emotionally meaningless sex. I have very strong feelings for her though long-term at this point I don't know her well enough which makes not wanting to be in that sort of future-focused relationship quite easy. I enjoy her company, I enjoy the sex, I don't feel like I need her, and I want to be good for her.

I've never subscribed to labels so I don't know exactly what she means by not wanting a boyfriend and that level of commitment. As I see it we hang out often, we sleep together now, and we encourage and support each other to reach our personal goals; we definitely haven't and don't seem to be trying to change one another. But I'm definitely not okay with her sleeping with anyone without telling me after the fact and/or still expecting to sleep with me. Then again if the sex ended our relationship would stay the same for me.

The only difference between this arrangement and "boyfriend / girlfriend"  seems to be more realistic expectations and a healthier perspective from both of us given our current respective situations in life.

Am I missing something or misinterpreting what she's looking for?


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Anonymous #2

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15548481 - 12/21/11 12:26 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Assuming your perspective of her is accurate, I'd say you know what you're into, no need to read into it anymore.

I'm in a similar situation.  It's just easier/smarter not to complicate things when there are other priorities in your lives (school, career, etc).  The relationship can always grow later, or as you said, you can continue to be friends if you part ways.

You're like me, though.  All I really want from a relationship is honesty.  I am always clear in all my relationships up front about that.

Have fun :smile:


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Anonymous #3

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #15551602 - 12/21/11 04:10 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Sounds amazing.


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Invisiblecateyes
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Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15551703 - 12/21/11 04:36 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

if you've had sex with her after the first experience and she doesn't want attachment, she wants FWB... if you can't cope with her being with others during the same period you're sleeping with her, then you need to stop sleeping with her.

Kensho :psychsplit:


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InvisibledeCypher
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Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: cateyes]
    #15551711 - 12/21/11 04:38 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

cateyes said:
if you can't cope with her being with others during the same period you're sleeping with her, then you need to stop sleeping with her.




Or be a true badass and keep on sleeping with her and other women while forbidding her to sleep with anyone else but you.  :cool:


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


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Invisiblecateyes
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Posts: 2,754
Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: deCypher]
    #15551731 - 12/21/11 04:43 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

deCypher said:
Quote:

cateyes said:
if you can't cope with her being with others during the same period you're sleeping with her, then you need to stop sleeping with her.




Or be a true badass and keep on sleeping with her and other women while forbidding her to sleep with anyone else but you.  :cool:





:aweyeah:

Kensho :psychsplit:


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Anonymous #1

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16463412 - 07/01/12 02:02 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

And now  I find myself just "a good friend" because she "doesn't know what she wants" and wants "to be single".

I guess my apprehensions about being just a rebound for her were warranted after all. The last time I heard those phrases was when my long-term girlfriend broke up with because she was fucking someone else. That's what I'm assuming this girl will be doing soon if she isn't already. I had to shoot her disapproving eyes tonight when she started talking about some wanker flirting with her the other day.

I don't know why the end bothers me. I suppose it's some sort of innate self-analytical flaw where I'm looking for the reason this "relationship" came to an end. If she still wants to be friends and I rock(ed) her world in bed then why the shift? Why did she give me a thinly veiled and very disingenuous let's just be friends talk that I recognized immediately? Why did I have to call her on it a few days later? Why did she decide to try to hook me with "but I'll still call you when I need some loving"?

Despite what I said in my OP now that the sex is gone and I had ~6 mo. to get in deeper with her, I don't want to be friends. It was mostly fun, but it didn't work out because she is indecisive, crazy, and non-committal. If she does change her mind, I won't have a problem with telling her to not even bother try coming back.

I think the end really bothers me more than it should because most of my friends have moved away, I've been busy running a marathon down my career path in addition to taking on lots of personal responsibilities, and she was someone I spent a lot of time with so I'm pretty socially isolated. Unfortunately as a result I probably can't tell her to fuck off as she is my connection to one of my only remaining social circles down here. I hate the feeling of needing to maintain a friendship with simply to avoid isolation. I absolutely detest it.

Over the past few weeks she started to show some real ugly aspects of her personality that are huge warning signs to me as a result of my last relationship. The reasons for her string of very unhealthy and self-described co-dependent relationships preceding our FWB situation became really clear. She's not that cool after all. So I had already started to emotionally distance myself in anticipation of the eventual need to ditch the crazy and abusive girl I feared she would become. The other day was a melodramatic nightmare where she melted down in public after I told her sternly but not in an asshole way that I was sorry she had a bad day, but that it was entirely unacceptable to take it out on me when I was trying to cheer her up. You know that whole "I'm a horrible person. You hate me. I just want to die. So that's it, it's over!? No, I'm going to walk home miles in the rain instead of letting you drive me for 4 minutes" thing... :facepalm:

It's good though actually to have these sorts of experiences again. I've been able to see just how far I've come from my ex where I would fall into that trap and start to fight back. It was way to easy to remain calm, but stern at the same time. I wish I could have done that way back when.

The end of the FWB "relationship" isn't a huge loss because the sex wasn't that mind blowing for me after the first encounter... must have been all of that mescaline the first time. She was not really adventurous or as wild in bed as I'd prefer, and I think I only got a pseudo-bj once. Still it sucks that it was just long enough to develop some pesky feelings to tug at my heart strings despite the bad behavior and somewhat lackluster sex from her. Of course now that I've started treating her with a no-nonsense attitude and calling her on her shit she's acting somewhat interested and going for body contact again. :facepalm:

It's bizarre how sexual relationships always seem to end in almost exactly year or half-year increments in my life though this time I only noticed because of the post date. Also women seem to end things or want breaks around the summer solstice only to latch on to me around the autumnal equinox. I bet you she tries to rekindle something around the autumnal equinox.

You know the problem with the rule "Don't stick your dick in crazy"? It's that crazy unfortunately usually doesn't surface or present itself clearly until well after you've stuck your dick in it.


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Invisiblemetalfaith
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Registered: 03/30/11
Posts: 1,842
Loc: FL
Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16463466 - 07/01/12 02:24 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
It's that crazy unfortunately usually doesn't surface or present itself clearly until well after you've stuck your dick in it.



Or perhaps you failed to see it? She wasn't for you, cool. Lesson learned. You don't have to bad-mouth her (not like I care) in order to convince yourself and everybody else that she 'wasn't that great anyway'.

IMO just isolate yourself completely from her for the time being and find a new social circle to jump into. Shouldn't be too hard.


(sorry if I got a bit preachy. I'm currently in a very similar situation, unfortunately.. :hugitout:)


--------------------


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Anonymous #4

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16463601 - 07/01/12 04:13 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
And now  I find myself just "a good friend" because she "doesn't know what she wants" and wants "to be single".

I guess my apprehensions about being just a rebound for her were warranted after all. The last time I heard those phrases was when my long-term girlfriend broke up with because she was fucking someone else. That's what I'm assuming this girl will be doing soon if she isn't already. I had to shoot her disapproving eyes tonight when she started talking about some wanker flirting with her the other day.

I don't know why the end bothers me. I suppose it's some sort of innate self-analytical flaw where I'm looking for the reason this "relationship" came to an end. If she still wants to be friends and I rock(ed) her world in bed then why the shift? Why did she give me a thinly veiled and very disingenuous let's just be friends talk that I recognized immediately? Why did I have to call her on it a few days later? Why did she decide to try to hook me with "but I'll still call you when I need some loving"?

Despite what I said in my OP now that the sex is gone and I had ~6 mo. to get in deeper with her, I don't want to be friends. It was mostly fun, but it didn't work out because she is indecisive, crazy, and non-committal. If she does change her mind, I won't have a problem with telling her to not even bother try coming back.

I think the end really bothers me more than it should because most of my friends have moved away, I've been busy running a marathon down my career path in addition to taking on lots of personal responsibilities, and she was someone I spent a lot of time with so I'm pretty socially isolated. Unfortunately as a result I probably can't tell her to fuck off as she is my connection to one of my only remaining social circles down here. I hate the feeling of needing to maintain a friendship with simply to avoid isolation. I absolutely detest it.

Over the past few weeks she started to show some real ugly aspects of her personality that are huge warning signs to me as a result of my last relationship. The reasons for her string of very unhealthy and self-described co-dependent relationships preceding our FWB situation became really clear. She's not that cool after all. So I had already started to emotionally distance myself in anticipation of the eventual need to ditch the crazy and abusive girl I feared she would become. The other day was a melodramatic nightmare where she melted down in public after I told her sternly but not in an asshole way that I was sorry she had a bad day, but that it was entirely unacceptable to take it out on me when I was trying to cheer her up. You know that whole "I'm a horrible person. You hate me. I just want to die. So that's it, it's over!? No, I'm going to walk home miles in the rain instead of letting you drive me for 4 minutes" thing... :facepalm:

It's good though actually to have these sorts of experiences again. I've been able to see just how far I've come from my ex where I would fall into that trap and start to fight back. It was way to easy to remain calm, but stern at the same time. I wish I could have done that way back when.

The end of the FWB "relationship" isn't a huge loss because the sex wasn't that mind blowing for me after the first encounter... must have been all of that mescaline the first time. She was not really adventurous or as wild in bed as I'd prefer, and I think I only got a pseudo-bj once. Still it sucks that it was just long enough to develop some pesky feelings to tug at my heart strings despite the bad behavior and somewhat lackluster sex from her. Of course now that I've started treating her with a no-nonsense attitude and calling her on her shit she's acting somewhat interested and going for body contact again. :facepalm:

It's bizarre how sexual relationships always seem to end in almost exactly year or half-year increments in my life though this time I only noticed because of the post date. Also women seem to end things or want breaks around the summer solstice only to latch on to me around the autumnal equinox. I bet you she tries to rekindle something around the autumnal equinox.

You know the problem with the rule "Don't stick your dick in crazy"? It's that crazy unfortunately usually doesn't surface or present itself clearly until well after you've stuck your dick in it.





Yeah, I see similar pattern in my life. It sucks so bad and I hate it.


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Anonymous #1

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: metalfaith]
    #16465445 - 07/01/12 02:04 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I was mainly joking about the last part, but you're right in a way.

She's a decent chick, but I knew from the beginning that in the long run she wasn't for me. She's terribly indecisive, but she's really not that crazy though the last couple of weeks have me thankful I'm not sticking around to find out how crazy she could be. I have no desire to stir up drama or bad mouth her in real life, but it's been frustrating so I needed to vent.

I just have no desire to stay friends especially since her idea of a friend is a person you can use or who might come in handy later. We weren't really friends before the sex so why should we be after? My feelings are pretty much summed up by "it was fun while it lasted, but it's not working for you and as a result it's no longer working for me. Time spent with you is time I should be doing other things and spent meeting other people." I'm not going to be the nice guy and wait around or do stuff for her in the hopes of getting into her pants, but I think she knows that after the last few times we've interacted.

Time for me to suck it up, bear the temporary social isolation, and keep on doing what I need to do. Finding a new social circle is much easier said than done right now with work and other responsibilities, but I'm sure I can figure something out in time. On that note it's probably time to stop spending time on forums and online in general.

Sorry to hear you all have or have had similar experiences. It's not fun.

:bunnyhug:


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Anonymous #1

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16532810 - 07/14/12 11:45 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

All of the bridges to that social circle were apparently already set on fire so I don't need to worry about burning them myself.

I ended up going to an event she was having because she called me and told me it would mean a lot if I came. I didn't make any promises, but I managed to squeeze it in. That was a mistake. That was one of the most uncomfortable social situations I've been in a in a very long time. I guess she didn't want to be single after all and told her friends some BS about why it ended or what a jerk I am. Not even people I had a good rapport with in the past would interact with me when I tried to engage them, and most of her friends just didn't acknowledge my presence. The girl herself was standoffish and bitchy.

Why did you invite me again after no contact for two weeks? I wasn't going to come except for the fact that you personally called me and essentially begged me to come. I was already skeptical, but after that nonsense, fuck meeting up to talk next week like you suggested. What's there to talk about?

Good riddance!


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Offline999
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Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16538024 - 07/16/12 04:55 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
All of the bridges to that social circle were apparently already set on fire so I don't need to worry about burning them myself.

I ended up going to an event she was having because she called me and told me it would mean a lot if I came. I didn't make any promises, but I managed to squeeze it in. That was a mistake. That was one of the most uncomfortable social situations I've been in a in a very long time. I guess she didn't want to be single after all and told her friends some BS about why it ended or what a jerk I am. Not even people I had a good rapport with in the past would interact with me when I tried to engage them, and most of her friends just didn't acknowledge my presence. The girl herself was standoffish and bitchy.

Why did you invite me again after no contact for two weeks? I wasn't going to come except for the fact that you personally called me and essentially begged me to come. I was already skeptical, but after that nonsense, fuck meeting up to talk next week like you suggested. What's there to talk about?

Good riddance!





Wow, da fuq was her problem?
I think you're muuuuch better off without her, just make some new friends, man.
You've got this!


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Anonymous #1

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16564062 - 07/21/12 11:41 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Pro Tip: Don't take your last hit of really bomb L with the intention of enjoying yourself and then agree to meet up with a pseudo-ex. It probably won't end as well as you thought it was going to.

It actually started off really well, and I was lost in the moment so remaining detached but friendly was very easy. It's very fun to walk around and flirt with a girl on acid especially when they are a little loopy themselves and none the wiser. It reminded me of how we used to spend time back before the whole FWB. Too bad it couldn't have lasted longer like that.

At some point she brought up some past relationship stuff before us and kept on prying so that began to bring back from the magical acid kingdom to reality. I tried to steer things away, but in the end she ended up wanting to vent about some weird heavy friend drama. All I wanted to do was go back to her apartment, put on some really psychedelic records, get naked, hand her some markers, and let her draw on my skin while I melted into her bed. I probably should have asked her since she's strange enough to have gone for it. It was a weird experience to listen and watch her vent while peaking. I was more interested in the spider spinning its web behind her, and the baby possum darting around the bar, but I couldn't help but think how incredibly nuts she sounded. No, the irony of declaring someone nuts while tripping balls is not lost on me.

I tried to get her to go to a park with me and hang out since it was still early, but she declined so I bounced there myself. Walking I started thinking about the things she was venting about and how parallel the drama she was venting about was with the unspoken tension between us so I called her and told her that. A mistake? I don't know. It ended up with a long conversation that really looked grim because she was defensive and angry at first. Like before I kept my cool and steered things well especially considering I was still frying.

Her motivations and actions became more clear. Apparently she became very attached, started to feel like she was going to be co-dependent, and decided to try to see where I stood. Apparently she wanted me to put up some sort of a fight when she needed space and wanted to be single or whatever; it was a test of sorts. She swore up and down she didn't say anything negative, but I know that awkwardness (sober) was not all in my head. Eventually she relented that she had been acting very weird and her friends probably picked up on it.

I was probably too open, a personal flaw exacerbated by L. Pretty much what I was trying to say boiled down to if you want to be friends then let's go back to how it was, and while I understand you need to emotionally distance yourself, that frame of mind is inconsistent with true friendship; if you want to be my friend then act like one. We can be friendly and meet up occasionally or we can be friends. If you want to be friends, hook me up with your cute friends who will take L with me and get freaky because that's what I would do if I were you and you were me.

At the end of the conversation something still didn't feel right, and I just stayed up all night post-trip mulling over the things that we both said. I sent her a  note clarifying things and explaining some back story to give her context. In written form it's much easier to express things without interruptions so that went over a lot better, and it seemed to click when she read it.

Whether or not it will be possible for us to mutually follow through as friends is a different story. While I'm sure I'm romantically and sexually over her for reasons I mentioned in other posts above most namely getting to know her better, I'm not sure she can fight the romantic urges she's been actively poisoning. It was amusing even in my tired-as-fuck post-trip state to hear her keep on injecting "friend" into everything to try to battle the raw emotional intimacy that comes with those sorts of long exchanges.

We made a pact to try to simultaneously broaden our individual and combined social horizons by making an effort to meet new people and introduce each other to new and enjoyable people, place, and events. I think we might head out to a concert later.

What's really missing from my life at the moment is good friendship, not sex or a romantic relationship. I figure the only negative that can come out it is she doesn't pull through and everything goes back to how it was before last night. I cut her out and move on, but at least I put myself out there and tried to reconcile. Hopefully it will work out and lead to better things.

Wish us luck.


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Anonymous #1

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16564174 - 07/21/12 12:11 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

P.S.

Getting older sucks in a lot of ways especially how people drift apart as people move away and SIGNIFICANT others and offspring become (and admittedly rightfully so) your friends' main and almost sole priories.

If you're still in your 20s, enjoy your time unattached, put yourself out there, make some really good friends, and have fun. Don't waste years in a relationship that isn't currently working for you. There's no point wallowing in shit. Don't dwell, don't hold grudges, just let go, and remember tomorrow's a new day. Keeping moving up and forward.


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Anonymous #5

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16564991 - 07/21/12 06:49 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Fuck buddies rarely make good relationships, FWB can, but only when both of the people involved evolve into these feelings at the same time.  FWB are tricky because you're already emotionally involved, and now you're adding sex to the mix.


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Anonymous #1

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16569161 - 07/22/12 03:57 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

A little bit of sober distance and after seeing her again, I think my empathy towards her and her actions were completely unwarranted.She wanted a relationship, a distraction from the loss of her previous relationship, not me.

I was a sucker and believed the lies when she said she wanted me. Looking back it was clear she just wanted someone and I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.  I remember distinctly she said she just wanted to kiss "someone, anyone"--no I didn't kiss her then. I was damn clear that I couldn't handle a casual "fuck you" relationship after what I came out of with my ex. Now I've relapsed into the same depressed state I was in after my ex. Nothing that once did gives me pleasure anymore.

Now I understand why she kept on trying to re-enforce the "this is not a relationship". It's so she could not feel guilty when she decided to unilaterally end it when she decided to focus on herself. She whined about how much she missed her ex and the good times with him today. What the fuck? It was annoying enough when she talked about him and their relationship earlier, but now it's just maddening.

I got used as a rebound plain and simple, and she couldn't care less because she's so self-absorbed. Why do I always fall for the shallow, spoiled, and selfish ones? Our ideas about friendship are incompatible. I don't want to be friends with someone so callous and narcissistic; been there, done that. It's hard to move forward with a foot in the past so it's time to pick up and move on. I'm tired of being played with when she's lonely, bored, or sad; it just messed with me. Time for no contact.

My earlier feelings were spot on. I need to trust myself more and stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. I always end up disappointed when I do.


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Anonymous #1

Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16604780 - 07/28/12 08:46 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Moral outrage when she found out I blocked her number when she called me less than 5 days after I told her in no uncertain terms it was time to say goodbye and she agreed no contact was best.

Yes, I blocked your number just in case you tried to send me texts or call me like you said you wouldn't. It's not because you are that crazy, but rather it's easier to forget you completely when I don't see or hear from you ever. Emotional outbursts like that make me glad I blocked your number.

Fuck you unnamed cell provider for notifying blocked numbers that they are blocked instead of just letting them ring through to an empty line forever.

I guess it's not going to be pretty when the old-ex does when she finds out her number is blocked, but it will be amusing if she does manage to find a way to contact me.


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Invisiblemetalfaith
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Registered: 03/30/11
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Re: What am I? Friend, FWB, or Something Else? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16605534 - 07/28/12 11:35 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Good to see you finally cut all ties with her. :thumbup:
Now you can truly work on moving forward.


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