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OfflineEdge
I like plants

Registered: 04/13/03
Posts: 972
Loc: Machu Pichu
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
there is something very wrong with me...
    #1657231 - 06/24/03 12:27 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

i dont know what is happening to me. my body feels very different these past few weeks, as well as my mind. its summer, i should feel great... i should feel free to do what i want without the preoccupations of school and the usual bullshit that comes with it. instead, i feel very lonely... i have a few friends, i have a girlfriend who loves me very much... but i feel so distant. i think it might have something to do with the phychadelic use. i have only shroomed twice, and have taken salvia a few times.... the last time i shroomed was a bad trip, i felt lonely when i did it and was alone when i did it... and the loneliness became overwhelming. the last time i shroomed was about a month ago.... these past few days i have beein feeling overwhelmingly lonely and distant from everybody... from everything, except my girlfriend. i long to see her and be with her and talk to her every single moment of the day that im not with her. i never used to be like this... in fact i was very independant. i was very spiritual and i felt one with everything and anything. i loved everything.... i felt everything... and it was so wonderful. now, im so scared... i keep getting waves of anxiety when im not around my girlfriend because im not with her, and i long for it so much... i dont know whats happened in my head the last few days. something is just very very wrong.... this anxiety gets to the point where i can't sleep... my chest gets tight, i feel uneasy and sick inside... constantly i am feeling that i dont want to do anything but i dont want to feel like i dont want to do anything. i do things like ii've always done and i can't shake this lonliness feeling. i have been becomming more and more increasingly suicidal. this is not me... i used to be happy... my beliefs and practices based on mayan beliefs. everything was wonderful... and now everything is so sad. the only exception being my girlfriend. although im paranoid. im paranoid about her and other people... scared of her hooking up with past people she wants to be friends with now out of the blue...(which im not goign to stop if she wishes that). im so afraid... and i dont know what to do about anything. even pot doesnt make me feel good anymore... it just makes me have more anxiety when im comming off of it. i dont even have a desire to smoke pot anymore... i dont have a desire to do anything. i dont know whats happened.... has anybody else gone through this because of shrooms? is anybody else like this? somebody please help me... im so fucking scared of whats happening, not happening, and what i make up in my head to the point that i dont know the difference. somebody please help...


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: there is something very wrong with me... [Re: Edge]
    #1657289 - 06/24/03 12:57 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

You should talk to a doctor about getting some medicine or something, spend more time with your friends, family. Definately don't take any more psychedelics for a long while. Sorry to hear all that, hope you feel better :heart:


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OfflineFliquid
Back from being gone.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/18/02
Posts: 6,953
Loc: omotive
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: there is something very wrong with me... [Re: Edge]
    #1657658 - 06/24/03 03:58 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Something is under the surface of you.
Ask yourself why you are afraid, and keep on asking untill you see...
That all this fear is not needed.
Its just a feeling, and right now your making it stronger.
Realise this, and your grow as a person.
Suffer this, and you'll have the problem for a long time.

You tripped before.. Go somewhere sunny a silent place with only birds around. Smoke some hash (if you can't get it smoke weed) and try to remember the highest wonderfull feeling you had during your first trip.
When you've recaptured that feeling stand in it and think connecting thoughts. Concerning that feeling. Then use it to blow away the fear.
And get rid of the problem.

Helps for me, maybe for you also.


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: there is something very wrong with me... [Re: Edge]
    #1657801 - 06/24/03 05:18 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Watch out for the war on drugs ruining your good time


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
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OfflineEdge
I like plants

Registered: 04/13/03
Posts: 972
Loc: Machu Pichu
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: there is something very wrong with me... [Re: Strumpling]
    #1658036 - 06/24/03 10:09 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

i try to get out with my friends... but when i do i just feel distant and alone. i used to fix everything on a spiritual level, but i cant even do that. i dfeinately wont be doing phychadelics for a bit... and medications scare the shit out of me. i might force myself to get on some though... even though i really dont want to.

man, what the fuck happened to life...


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Check Out My "A Report w/ pics and links--FAE, RH, Casings, Cakes, Polyfil, And A Simple Setup And More!"

"For every action there is a reaction; and a Paykie reaction, is quite a fuckin thing"
--Turkish of Snatch


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Offlinebaraka
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/16/00
Posts: 10,708
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 10 hours, 2 minutes
Re: there is something very wrong with me... [Re: Edge]
    #1659603 - 06/24/03 10:13 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

OK ive went thru somthing fairly similar to you after tripped every weekend. One day after a bad trip i just felt somthing wierd about me. I do not want to blame mushrooms, but i feel they where directly related to why i started feeling the way i did. Its hard for me to even put to words how i was feeling, but it wasnt right... anxiety.

The worst thing was to worry about it more. It just compounds the issue. Most of my paranioa and fear was that i was going crazy. And the constant fear of me thinking about that i was going crazy, was really starting to make me go crazy.

After a month or 2 i returned to normal. I used distraction techniques and 5-HTP to help. I believe 5-htp helped my overall mood and distraction stuff really is what solved it. Every time i started feeling that anxiety i would play war3, drums, or whatever was close by that i had to concentrate on to do. Eventually i just stopped worrying about it and i returned to normal.


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This is the only time I really feel alive.


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: there is something very wrong with me... [Re: Edge]
    #1659643 - 06/24/03 10:24 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds like depresion, every body gets it sometimes. Some longer than others. I'v been diagnosed as severely depressed at one point, but i feel just fine these days. If you aren't happy with your life more than you are, than something IS WRONG.
It feels like shit almost all the time, and thats not the way its supposed to be. I didn't dig having to "be normal" by taking drugs either. They put me on some anti-depresants. Zoloft :pill:,Prozac :pill2:, and i hated it. It made me feel like a zombie. adventually i got to a point where my life was back on track and i felt i could control the way i felt for the most part. 
I got on celexa, and found while it dosent take control of the way i feel, it puts me in a better mood, and helps me deal with things better when stuff goes wrong.  Try it out, give it a few weeks to kick in, and see if you don't have a little better control over your depresion. 

and no, i'm not a rep from the pharmacuticle company


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