I'm actually in almost the same situation as you and i find san pedro cactus/mescaline works wonders mentally and physically for you and most people describe it as a mdma feeling but idk i've only taken smaller doses still w/ great results though, you for sure get the visuals but it's like organic is the best way to describe it, the whole thing is positive and you won't get stuck on any one thought for more than a minute or so, it's easy just to be the observer, and you feel as if the thoughts or beliefs you hold toward yourself or others is not even yours or it's more distant than usual, as to change your perception on whatever it is with ease. I haven't tried dmt, but i think that the intense amount of love and acceptance(that is if you accept)that one might feel doing dmt could heal or most definetly change your perspective to a more positive and accepting one for any situation your going through and maybe framework your spirituality and how you think and operate day to day to have a more positive and forgiving outcome for yourself. It's not a drug it's a molecule like any other molecule w/ certain properties. Idk though iv'e never done it. But good luck with whatever you end up doing. You'll get through it trust me. I can guarentee you, the only person that can change anything for you IS YOU - and maybe the help of nature because nature is a part of you, everything is ONE!! I haven't done therapy because i know they are going to tell me things i already know and try to church things up to make me feel better maybe the social thing can be helped by interacting of course. Your thoughts manifest your reality - because everything is mind - a universal mind/consciousness (infinite intelligence). The physical is only an illusion and is temporary. Life is but a dream. Energy can never be destroyed, but it can be transformed. YOU and only YOU have the choice and power to transform. Everything manifested externally (social phobias, relationships, caring what others think etc.) is a manifestation of your thoughts/mind/internal. I know it's hard and i really understand where your coming from. Hypnosis is good too. Check out probable future . com it's pretty cool stuff and works pretty well. Iv'e been considering doing dmt for about 2 years now - people say dmt finds you when the time is right - and you'll know when the time is right because you'll feel it - if your going to do it - my unexperienced suggestion is to wait till' it feels right and you just know in your heart it's the best time - use your intuition.
-------------------- "The world which we perceive is a tiny fraction of the world which we can perceive, which is a tiny fraction of the perceivable world, you see." - Terence Mckenna
Edited by PinealGland3rdi (07/13/12 05:41 PM)
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from probable future . com
A simple thought on Truth.
If you can start the day without caffeine, if you can get along without pep pills, if you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can get excited and cheerful when seeing you loved ones after a small absence, as if it were the very first time you set eyes upon them in ages, If your love for man does not erode with habit and time but always remain steadfastly the same, no matter how little or bad attention you are getting, If you can accept verbal and physical abuse without automatic resentment, desire for revenge, and the need to show your inborn physical power and ability to inflict harm, If you do not need to be proven "right" and others "wrong." If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can overlook it when those you loved ones take it out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him, If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend, If you cannot stand fear-thoughts addressed at you by others, and only relate to love, If you only read the intention and heart of man and not his external appearance, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, always expressing your true feelings, If you can always jump and get excited at the fragrance, beauty and eternal energy bestowed by the natural world, If you would even forgo your life away without a moment of doubt in the name of Love, If you realize that you are here to protect and guard the integrity and security of all your extended family, If you accept death and dying as a natural cycle of Eternity, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,
Then my dear friends you will have approached the level of spiritual development of your dog.
i.e. Why G.o.d. made a mirror image as D.o.g. to show us and express holographically in simple terms, as our best friend, what unconditional Love IS and should be. Or why A-dam's civilization should not continue making a mirror reversed image of Himself as A-mad world.
The Dog is wonderful, really in service. It is a manifestation of the Unmanifest in Manifested Creation.
He protects you alike God. And as such, he cannot make decisions and do much things for you, for you have to act, decide and do things for him, since you are the active part.
You feed Him because The Manifest (Man) feeds the Unmanifest (Godliness).
At the same time your dog loves you up to death, in the same way as the Unmanifest loves you unconditionally regardless of what you do including hurting Him.
And all your pet is asking from you, as a favor, is just to feed him with your actions and show him love and the simple recognition that he exists, and begs of you to give him an interesting and happy life, in the same way as the Godliness only asks of us to give Him loving recognition, and a variety of joyful and loving life experiences.
-------------------- "The world which we perceive is a tiny fraction of the world which we can perceive, which is a tiny fraction of the perceivable world, you see." - Terence Mckenna
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