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EstimatedProphet34
Registered: 10/06/09
Posts: 154
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: koods]
#16455701 - 06/29/12 11:55 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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wow this thread was an emotional rollercoaster of a read, i can't even imagine what you went through OP. time will heal things, and im sure your soon to be mother in law will eventually begin to understand it was not your fault and her daughter chose to do drugs. Anyways I'm glad to hear that she is grasping reality again, and do not regret any of your actions, you did everything you could for her safety and well being.
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Project
Ride the Spiral
Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 1,429
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: psilocybeMAN]
#16455796 - 06/29/12 12:15 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
psilocybeMAN said:
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Nimpo said: You ruined someones mind, OP.
All in the name of trying out a drug
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PeaceLove said:
As for Nimpo... do you usually kick a person when they are down and asking for help?
Yeah, fuck you Nimpo.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker
Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,600
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Project]
#16456123 - 06/29/12 01:30 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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On the way out, I calmly explain to the mother that the day we took her daughter to the ER was the worst day of my life. That worst day was made unbearably worse by not having 1 sympathetic soul around me and her glaring into my eyes and reminding me every 30 minutes or so that her daughter was there because of me. She didn't reply and changed the subject as tears started to well-up in my eyes. I wonder if her mom and I will ever be able to have a functional relationship again?
Not trying to down you SL, but , this may not have been the best time to broach this subject with her mom. Don't you think that she's been through hell too. Now she'll probably always think that you were only worried about having your feelings hurt. Truth is, even though your GF has underlying problems....the mushrooms triggered this episode....I don't think she would have got that way from eating oreos. Her mom will forever see you as the culprit. You probably can't change that, nor should you try ....at least by discussion. Your future actions will speak much louder than any words you have to say, and, unfortunately, that takes time. You definitely sound like a good guy, and your GF is lucky to have you caring for her.....just keep doing what you're doing ...that is all you can do. Myself and a lot of others here wish you all the best.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Thayendanegea]
#16456667 - 06/29/12 03:44 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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I took S.'s and my mutual friend with me to visit her last night and sat back and enjoyed the show. Our friend is very big in the AA circles in my area and the first thing I do is point out the "Big Book" to her on the book shelf, at which point I knew she would start quoting from it. Lots and lots of "philosophical mumbo-jumbo." After she had exhausted that line of thought, she starts talking loudly about how her BMs have been a bit runny and continues that thread on and off for a good 30 minutes. Meanwhile, S.'s mom is trying to continue the baby-talk, but it feels off now because of the things our friend is talking about. Then, to push the envelope, she ask's S.'s mom if her and S. are allowed conjugal visits. Her mom looks helplessly at S.'s dad and he looks like he's holding back a laugh.
S. is having as good of time as I am through all of this and she seems to be her old self again, although a bit slow from the drugs. I'm going to encourage her tonight to press her doctors for a diagnosis, information on the remaining course of treatment, and planned release date. All useful information that I feel she is entitled to.
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Xocide
Stranger
Registered: 06/14/12
Posts: 46
Last seen: 4 months, 1 day
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16456705 - 06/29/12 03:54 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Wish yah luck dude! All that happens is meant to happen. Just focus on making things in the present better and the future will work its self out.
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mrjynxx
Shroomerer
Registered: 11/08/11
Posts: 784
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Vahn421]
#16457069 - 06/29/12 05:13 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Vahn421 said: Holy shit Jynx, that's one hell of a story.
Damn straight man.. I was going through a terrible time, I suffered a monster breakdown due to being worked 5am till 11pm every day for 5 months. I got into opiates and sedatives hardcore to try and relieve it, but it ended up pretty much destroying my life. I'm a lucky, LUCKY man to still be here now.
Taking up to 60mg vally a day along with the 12mg subutex I was on, mixed in with separating from my wife (also drug induced, she had a horrible oxycontin problem at the same time and we were both as fucked up as each other), led to me making some fucking STUPID decisions.
I owe my life to that intensive care unit, and the shame has never left me. Which is a GOOD thing. It's taken until literally 2 weeks ago to fully sort out my opiate and sedative problems.
Thank christ my wife has been through the same kind of shit, is a wonderful, forgiving person. We're back together now and as happy as ever. I'm not a religious man, but I fully believe in guardian angels, whatever they may actually be. Maybe it's karma? I'm not a bad person. I'm a kind, generous person. Trouble is, a kind, generous person with a dangerous propensity for making stupid decisions when under heavy stress.
Peace all, especially to OP!
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: mrjynxx]
#16457152 - 06/29/12 05:30 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Drug induced psychosis has basically been a life saver for me. After two years of smoking copious amounts of pot and half a year of doing other drugs (LSD, MDMA, mushrooms, ketamine, cocaine) I started noticing many changes in my life. I remember laying in my bed, about a week after my second acid trip and hearing a radio playing in the next room. Since I was trying to fall asleep I proceeded to turn it off only to realize it hadn't been on in the first place. At first I thought this was a brain fart. Soon after, I began hearing many voices as I attempted to fall asleep. I even gave them names. One voice sounded like someone yawning, the other like a radio, another said my name very slowly and emphasized certain letters, another was evil laughter, another very rarely presented itself as a group of people talking all at once. This might sound bad but the worst part is that these would all play over and over in my head like a tape recorder as I tried to fall asleep. I resorted to playing loud music and taking sleeping pills every evening to fall asleep and escape the transitional phase between awake and dreaming. The worst part however, was when I would smoke marijuana I would hear these voices in my waking state and even when I was sober I would hear these voices.
I forgot to even mention, during this entire period my ability to socialize and engage in normal conversations was greatly reduced. People would tell me that I would switch from one idea to the other, making loose associations between subjects. I began to go insane, I eventually had a panic attack and went freaking crazy and couldn't sit in one place for more than a second. The voices were overwhelming and I thought I was becoming schizophrenic and my life was over. I called my friends and said many things that were even said that I wanted to overdose and kill myself.. not the best day for sure. I then took a 8 gram dose of kratom and was brought back to reality and was able to relax. After this, I quit marijuana and all other drugs (a few minor relapses here and there) and since then I have been brought back to reality. I only hear the one yawning voice as I fall asleep and it is rather faint.
Moral of the story: these drugs, especially marijuana can bring anybody to a psychotic state. Don't think just because you have a stable mind you are immune to the negative consequences of these drugs. Trust me, I was that guy. You never know if you are one of those people that are susceptible to going crazy, despite you belief that you will not be effected. Sure, psychedelics and marijuana don't have the negative physical consequences of harder drugs. But what happened with me is my lifestyle and my friends and pretty much everything revolved around these drugs, so when I went crazy and had to give them up I was even more lost then I thought I would be. The key thing here as well is that pot is much worse than you think. I know for a fact that it gave me HPPD and has made any psychotic symptoms I experienced multiply a tenfold. The only times I ever really heard voices to begin with was when I was high on bud, and it took a long time after that for those symptoms to appear in my sober life as well. Anyways, I could ramble on and on about my experiences but I hope any readers who are debating whether or not they want to indulge in the psychedelic experience should consider my experience before they do so.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#16457168 - 06/29/12 05:32 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Now I am drug free, aside from kratom. I am happier than ever and visit this site much more frequently which has given more space for non drug related thoughts.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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mrjynxx
Shroomerer
Registered: 11/08/11
Posts: 784
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#16459970 - 06/30/12 10:19 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bitter Cactus said: Drug induced psychosis has basically been a life saver for me. After two years of smoking copious amounts of pot and half a year of doing other drugs (LSD, MDMA, mushrooms, ketamine, cocaine) I started noticing many changes in my life. I remember laying in my bed, about a week after my second acid trip and hearing a radio playing in the next room. Since I was trying to fall asleep I proceeded to turn it off only to realize it hadn't been on in the first place. At first I thought this was a brain fart. Soon after, I began hearing many voices as I attempted to fall asleep. I even gave them names. One voice sounded like someone yawning, the other like a radio, another said my name very slowly and emphasized certain letters, another was evil laughter, another very rarely presented itself as a group of people talking all at once. This might sound bad but the worst part is that these would all play over and over in my head like a tape recorder as I tried to fall asleep. I resorted to playing loud music and taking sleeping pills every evening to fall asleep and escape the transitional phase between awake and dreaming. The worst part however, was when I would smoke marijuana I would hear these voices in my waking state and even when I was sober I would hear these voices.
I forgot to even mention, during this entire period my ability to socialize and engage in normal conversations was greatly reduced. People would tell me that I would switch from one idea to the other, making loose associations between subjects. I began to go insane, I eventually had a panic attack and went freaking crazy and couldn't sit in one place for more than a second. The voices were overwhelming and I thought I was becoming schizophrenic and my life was over. I called my friends and said many things that were even said that I wanted to overdose and kill myself.. not the best day for sure. I then took a 8 gram dose of kratom and was brought back to reality and was able to relax. After this, I quit marijuana and all other drugs (a few minor relapses here and there) and since then I have been brought back to reality. I only hear the one yawning voice as I fall asleep and it is rather faint.
Moral of the story: these drugs, especially marijuana can bring anybody to a psychotic state. Don't think just because you have a stable mind you are immune to the negative consequences of these drugs. Trust me, I was that guy. You never know if you are one of those people that are susceptible to going crazy, despite you belief that you will not be effected. Sure, psychedelics and marijuana don't have the negative physical consequences of harder drugs. But what happened with me is my lifestyle and my friends and pretty much everything revolved around these drugs, so when I went crazy and had to give them up I was even more lost then I thought I would be. The key thing here as well is that pot is much worse than you think. I know for a fact that it gave me HPPD and has made any psychotic symptoms I experienced multiply a tenfold. The only times I ever really heard voices to begin with was when I was high on bud, and it took a long time after that for those symptoms to appear in my sober life as well. Anyways, I could ramble on and on about my experiences but I hope any readers who are debating whether or not they want to indulge in the psychedelic experience should consider my experience before they do so.
Weed has got to be the worst for drug induced psychosis because it is seen as a 'safe' drug compared to the rest of them. But, at the end of the day, it's a hallucinogen. And the stronger the strains get, the stronger a hallucinogen it becomes. I was a chronic smoker from my late teens to my late 20's. By the end, I had nasty ganja psychosis. I'd worry all the time that I was gay, even though I'm not. I worried about all sorts of abstract things that I haven't ever given a single thought to since I stopped smoking the stuff.
I was getting through between half to a whole ounce of strong weed a week. It was the same old cycle, day in, day out. Wake up, have a reefer. Go to work. Do work. At lunchtime, another reefer. Do more work. All the time with weird paranoid thoughts looping round and round my head. Get home from work, and smoke myself stupid until bed time. Lie in bed, worrying about everything and anything, paranoid as hell about got only knows what.
But, being a ganja addict, I was willing to attribute the thoughts to anything but ganja itself. Then, one new year, I decided to quit the shit cold turkey. I didn't sleep more than a couple of hours a night for 3 whole months. Then, I got sent off to LA to work on a film at Universal Studios for 6 weeks. Those 6 weeks were the best thing that ever happened to me. The Hollywood studios work you HARD, so I started getting natural sleep again through pure exhaustion. Plus, the complete change in lifestyle, and being there on my own, sorting myself out in the weird LA bubble (Hollywood folk aren't much like normal folk in my experience, especially being from the UK). Well, it all took my mind completely off ganja, which I'd been lusting after for 12 weeks.
When I got home from LA, I was cured. All paranoid, distorted thoughts completely gone. And they've never returned. I occasionally smoke the odd bit of reefer, or whatever smoking blend someone might have, but now it's a once in a blue moon type thing. And I've never felt healthier in the head!
When I was heavily into my pills and acid (this was late 90's, when pills were PILLS and acid was ACID), a wise friend of mine said not to worry about the intake of hard drugs I was taking, but be very fucking cautious about ganja. How right he turned out to be. The only problem I suffered is that I swapped ganja for beer, so I tend to drink a 4 pack a night most nights (to our US compadres, that's 4 pints of beer). Not particularly healthy on the liver, but far more healthy on my poor psyche!!
Edited by mrjynxx (06/30/12 10:21 AM)
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Vahn421
Awakening Moonlighter
Registered: 04/03/12
Posts: 2,162
Loc: Portland
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: mrjynxx]
#16460039 - 06/30/12 10:39 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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God, these accounts are fascinating.
Though Jynx, I must admit when you ended it all with, "Now I drink 4 pints a night!" I kinda had a "Doooh!" moment.
Of course, I AM the chronic pot smoker my self. My roots, however, are very, "Green." My pops has been growing for years and I live in Portland, so culturally speaking, there is far less reason to be paranoid anyway.
As far as being, "Careful of the Ganga." I can agree in a way. It's easy to smoke every day because there are no to incredibly little harmful physical effects., and being high is FUN. =3
I think with all drugs, Marijuana especially, the paranoia we have to deal with in American culture because of the Law and of watchful/nosey neighbors makes the High experience far less pleasant in many situations that it could be. I think these factors effect things like Psychosis, paranoia and schizo behavior more than we realize, too.
Alcohol is the ONLY drug in America that has a cultural advantage, currently. Something to consider.
-V
--------------------
Edited by Vahn421 (06/30/12 10:41 AM)
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mrjynxx
Shroomerer
Registered: 11/08/11
Posts: 784
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Vahn421]
#16460222 - 06/30/12 11:31 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Vahn421 said: God, these accounts are fascinating.
Though Jynx, I must admit when you ended it all with, "Now I drink 4 pints a night!" I kinda had a "Doooh!" moment.
Of course, I AM the chronic pot smoker my self. My roots, however, are very, "Green." My pops has been growing for years and I live in Portland, so culturally speaking, there is far less reason to be paranoid anyway.
As far as being, "Careful of the Ganga." I can agree in a way. It's easy to smoke every day because there are no to incredibly little harmful physical effects., and being high is FUN. =3
I think with all drugs, Marijuana especially, the paranoia we have to deal with in American culture because of the Law and of watchful/nosey neighbors makes the High experience far less pleasant in many situations that it could be. I think these factors effect things like Psychosis, paranoia and schizo behavior more than we realize, too.
Alcohol is the ONLY drug in America that has a cultural advantage, currently. Something to consider.
-V
Ha! I know what you mean, it's weak arse lager though, so I'm only drinking a couple of units more than the safe daily limit.. What can I say, I'm a fuckhead! Are you from the US? You should see the problems we have with alcohol over here in the UK. My intake is pretty tame in comparison to the majority..
Edit to add: In terms of what you're saying about paranoia being a cultural thing, that definitely wasn't the case with me. Ganja is not seen as a bad drug in the UK. If the fuzz find you with an eighth on you, 9 times out of 10 they'll just take it off you, tell you what a naughty boy you are and then send you on your way, no repercussions other than the fact that you lost your green.
No, for me it was definitely a slow warping of my brain over the course of 10 years that caused my problems. Take TV as an example. I'd try and watch a programme, but I'd be so stoned all the time that a statement in the programme would send me off on a thoughtful tangent, thinking about all and sundry to do with the comment and not concentrating on the programme. 10 minutes later I'd realise what had happened and try and get back to the programme, but I'd lost 10 minutes to random thoughts, so I'd be completely lost. I lived like that for about 4 years. Nightmare, really. I've heard elsewhere that for some people, ganja is always a calm, relaxing drug. It was like that for me, for about 6 years. Then, it was like a switch went off in my brain, and from there on in, it turned me into a paranoid zombie. Unless I got pissed first, but that was a rarity because I could never be arsed to go out on account of being knackered from work and stoned all the time.
But, of course, I was too addicted to the high to want to admit that to myself, so I just went on, staggering on as zombies do into a deeper and deeper pit of scatty thoughts and paranoia!
Edited by mrjynxx (06/30/12 11:47 AM)
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: mrjynxx]
#16460529 - 06/30/12 12:52 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Marijuana gives me racing thoughts, paranoia and anxiety. It's such a shame that everyone is downplaying it's negative effects. Once it becomes legal, even people that are prone or who have mental illness will think it's alright to go hard on the bud with no ill effects, but they will be surely surprised and in for much more of a shit storm than they could ever imagine.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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filthydee
Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 378
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#16460589 - 06/30/12 01:11 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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when i used to smoke reefer it ended up giving me lots of anxiety and paranoia. i realize i just was smoking way too much too often. moderation is a must. years of chronically smoking anything isn't going to help anyone.
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jack_straw2208
Doctor
Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 3,121
Loc: Earth
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: filthydee]
#16484350 - 07/05/12 08:13 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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update OP?
-------------------- If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.
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Saint Marcus
Stranger
Registered: 05/11/12
Posts: 765
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#16484943 - 07/05/12 11:36 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bitter Cactus said: Marijuana gives me racing thoughts, paranoia and anxiety. It's such a shame that everyone is downplaying it's negative effects. Once it becomes legal, even people that are prone or who have mental illness will think it's alright to go hard on the bud with no ill effects, but they will be surely surprised and in for much more of a shit storm than they could ever imagine.
propaganda much?
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Lord_McLovin
mad scientist on shrooms
Registered: 04/09/11
Posts: 3,071
Loc: infinite dimensional void
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Saint Marcus]
#16485219 - 07/05/12 12:49 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Don't underestimate weed. Yes, it's a very benign drug, if used responsibly, but equally it can seriously fuck you up if you abuse it for too long.
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PoisonCrazy
Stranger
Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 635
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Lord_McLovin]
#16486541 - 07/05/12 07:42 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Really gut-wrenching story OP. I wish you and your gal the best.
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Saint Marcus
Stranger
Registered: 05/11/12
Posts: 765
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Lord_McLovin]
#16486744 - 07/05/12 08:11 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lord_McLovin said: Don't underestimate weed. Yes, it's a very benign drug, if used responsibly, but equally it can seriously fuck you up if you abuse it for too long.
I don't I have been high as a motherfucker on hash oil! I was tripping balls I was so fucking high! neone who says weed isn't psychedelic hasn't tried smoking hash oil out'a a bong meant to facilitate such hardcore activities....
I experience extreme paranoia and anxiety that is unbearable and extremely uncomfortable and unpleasant. That is bc i don't smoke and when i do it is far to much for my fragile psyche. But to apply it to everyone is idiotic ! not to mention spreading that bullshit about how legalizing it would make people think everything is perfect and theres no danger. come the fuck on....then inciting fear by referring to a shitstorm worse then can ever b imagined? What a load of horse shit...I would expect that from a DEA agent but from a member of the shroomery? We are supposed to be beyond and above that level of ignorance
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,342
Last seen: 5 hours, 24 minutes
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Saint Marcus]
#16486863 - 07/05/12 08:27 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Last time I smoked Marijuana was a few years ago. I took 1 small bong rip and was literally TRIPPING for the next 2 hours. Full blown hallucinations, time dialation, the works. I honestly attribute it to a flash back from a bad mushroom trip I had, but either way weed IS VERY fucking psychedelic and should be respected as much depending on your brain chemistry
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
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psilocybeMAN
It gets so real sometimes.
Registered: 10/16/07
Posts: 1,249
Loc: California
Last seen: 8 months, 23 days
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Almond Flour]
#16486965 - 07/05/12 08:43 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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That's fucking weird, I smoke daily and just feel relaxed. Marijuana keeps me sane. Stick to Indica strains if you suffer from anxiety.
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