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Offlineminusrestraint
i came to BRINGTHE PAIN. andthe punch :D.

Registered: 09/04/02
Posts: 1,093
Loc: a star but i see you fine
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
just cant shake it....
    #1643306 - 06/19/03 02:05 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

its feels like its been a long, long time since i posted here. but lately...i cant stop. i keep taking pills all the time. i feel out of place and like im out of whack until i take some. mostly vicodin. 10mg/650mg. blue, lorcets. im fucking my body up because im up to taking three to six of them in a row, over an hour time period. and ive been considering just seeing what happens if i up the dosage to say 10. i dont really care what happens. i have so much to lvie for, and yet i cant shake this. i cant even understand where it came from. everyday, i wrestle with the bottle and it always dumps in my mouth. i need help and no one believes i have a problem. "oh shean, why do you have to think there's something wrong when there's not?" but they can't see. sometimes i cant even stop shaking at night. i cant sleep. when i do , i cant wake up. everything around me feels like its part of my dreams and i cant bring myself to do anything.

i know you've all heard this before from others, and probably dont remember me, but i just had to say it.


--------------------
"is there a doctor in the house?
we like fuck that, nut sacks in yo mouth
lemme show you what a thug about
we can talk or we can slug it out"
-cisco kid


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OfflinetrendalM
King of Asides
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,142
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 5 hours, 23 minutes
Re: just cant shake it.... [Re: minusrestraint]
    #1643312 - 06/19/03 02:08 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

You have to stop taking them. You know it's the only way.


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BTC - 1KqrSHZ1C3NsQP4g3PkHhppBnhdgyXr6sB


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Offlineminusrestraint
i came to BRINGTHE PAIN. andthe punch :D.

Registered: 09/04/02
Posts: 1,093
Loc: a star but i see you fine
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: just cant shake it.... [Re: trendal]
    #1643325 - 06/19/03 02:13 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

i know trendal. but its so hard. i get so anxious and so twitchy without them anymore. its gotten to where if i dont have any, ill go find whatever sort of narcotic painkiller i can find. oxy, endos, percocets. something to make that craving go away. and then i hate myself. and then the next day the cycle repeats. no one wants to believe its a problem. i have no actual in person support to get away, and thats all i know i need. one person to punch me and make me not do it.


--------------------
"is there a doctor in the house?
we like fuck that, nut sacks in yo mouth
lemme show you what a thug about
we can talk or we can slug it out"
-cisco kid


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OfflinetrendalM
King of Asides
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,142
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 5 hours, 23 minutes
Re: just cant shake it.... [Re: minusrestraint]
    #1643360 - 06/19/03 02:23 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Well I do understand what you are going through.

Addiction is not an easy thing to get a grip on. The constant asking "why did I give in again?" gets me down even more than "where's my next dose?".

But here's what I've learned: YOU HAVE THE POWER!

Now say it with me.... "I HAVE THE POWER!"

:wink:

Because you truely do have the power. You don't need someone to punch you. It would help, I'm sure, but think of the sense of accomplishment than can come from KNOWING you kicked a habit BY YOURSELF.

I did it, so can you!

If you want to go cold turkey, which is IMHO the best option, there are a few ways to do it that I've found. One is through raw will-power. It takes a lot of it, more than most "addicted" people have (hey, why else are we addicted in the first place? :smirk: ). The other is to try tricking yourself into forgetting your "need".

You can also try to find out what "triggers" your need for another pill, and learn to avoid whatever it is until you are through the worst part.

If you smoke bud, try smoking a spliff to calm yourself down when you start getting antsy. Works wonders for me.


Just try and remember that MANY MANY people have been where you are now, and have pulled through perfectly A-OK.

All you have to do is make the decision  :wink:

Hope this helps, and I hope you find the will  :smile:


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BTC - 1KqrSHZ1C3NsQP4g3PkHhppBnhdgyXr6sB


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Invisibletak_old
Endo Smoke

Registered: 05/31/02
Posts: 609
Loc: State of confusion
Re: just cant shake it.... [Re: trendal]
    #1646321 - 06/19/03 11:37 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

You sound like you know the answer yourself. We can only nod our heads and say yup, you have a problem. I dont know you, I have no control over you. All I can offer is advise, and that is to stop. You spotted the problem, now you just need to collect the will power to initiate your recovery sequence. Quitting cold turkey is hard sometimes, but cutting down is not always the answer either. Opiates will give you one hell of a tollerence also... You obviously want it if you are posting here, now you just gotta do it (the hard part) Go at your own pace, but be safe man. I have faith in you.


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: tak_old]
    #1647006 - 06/20/03 03:24 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)



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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: just cant shake it.... [Re: minusrestraint]
    #1647112 - 06/20/03 04:24 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

"i feel out of place and like im out of whack until i take some."

the idea is to feel out of place and like you're out of whack WHEN you take some.... drugs shouldn't feel like normality IMO

Noticing that "woah holy shit I'm doing a lot of drugs a lot of the time!" is the "first step" to climbing out of this funnel


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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OfflineGOLDEN9locks
day tripper
Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 93
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: just cant shake it.... [Re: Strumpling]
    #1650048 - 06/21/03 01:23 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

my friend recently started realizing he was doing pretty much the same thing as you..too many pills, too often...his solution = hike into the woods..eat some mushrooms, come to grips with himself, basically told himself that he didnt need the pills...built a fire, and threw them all in it...watched them burn baby burn!

to me this seemed like such a good way to deal with it...i know when im alone with myself while tripping, i can actually be honest with myself and solve problems that i sometimes never even realized i had to begin with!
peace bro...and power to ya...fight the urge!!


--------------------
...Time is a stripper and she's doin' it just for you....


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