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Everything
(~} ;-}
Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 5,157
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Saint Marcus]
#16432592 - 06/24/12 07:35 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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sometimes i feel like its the people that never have any experience with anxiety,depression,psychosis,mania, ect. that weather the worst to the psychedelic storm. Its really too bad this is all happening from some innocent psychedelic experimentation.
I'm sorry the doctors and her parents are taking it out on you, She is 24, she is old enough to make her own decisions. While you did make the shrooms available it seems like you took every safe step in doing them with her.
I also am deeply sorry she is now in the hospital, that is what i would currently be worried most about. They may try to put her on all sorts of anti psychotics and tricky medications that could end up complicating the situation.
One of my friends started to slowly go nuts. He did a lot of drugs though. But the last time he tripped was when i gave him mushrooms, and i think it really sped up the process, though he was definitely already way off. I tripped with him and kind of played into this idea of him being haunted by a succubus. Long story short he tried to knife his dad and is now in a mental institution. He's talking way to crazy for anyone to let him out at the moment, he might be in there for a long time. its sad.
This may seem odd to say but the thing that would probably help her most is to be out of society, somewhere rural, or in the wilderness. This is pretty much completely unrealistic to actually happen but going back to our roots as humans is just about the healthiest medication you can take.
Edited by Everything (06/24/12 07:39 PM)
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Saint Marcus]
#16432635 - 06/24/12 07:44 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Update: Just went in for the second allowed visit today and S. had just come off of a 4 hour nap. She was pretty lucid, laughed at the thought of having a wedding in bath robes, and ate most of the fresh fruit I had brought in earlier. On the other hand, she's still violently grappling with thoughts of death. She ponders if sleep means death, if she is dead, if doing normal things will cause her to die, and if people and pets she cares about are dead. But, mostly lucid and many, many fewer non sequitur comments. I feel much better now than I did this morning.
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Lord_McLovin]
#16432643 - 06/24/12 07:47 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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We did the shrooms on Saturday, June 16th; over a week ago.
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: xzylocybin]
#16432656 - 06/24/12 07:50 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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xzylocybin,
I'm very worried that what you're saying is the case. I suppose something important to take from this is, if you're tripping with friends have a protocol for worst-case scenarios and get eachothers' backs if they occur. I should have had a sleep aid ready and I should have been prepared for what happened. If she had broken a leg, the ER would have been a good place to go. A broken mind, not so much.
Edited by SL28 (06/24/12 07:52 PM)
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Saint Marcus
Stranger
Registered: 05/11/12
Posts: 765
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16432691 - 06/24/12 07:58 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
SL28 said: xzylocybin,
I'm very worried that what you're saying is the case. I suppose something important to take from this is, if you're tripping with friends have a protocol for worst-case scenarios and get eachothers' backs if they occur. I should have had a sleep aid ready and I should have been prepared for what happened. If she had broken a leg, the ER would have been a good place to go. A broken mind, not so much.
Ya....but not a sleep aid...Benzos will do the trick. what the docs should of done is shot her with some thorazine and some ativan (IM)...that would knock her the fuck out for probably a day in a good way....I have been in the same mindset where I was afraid to sleep because I felt like I was going to die if I went to sleep. But the truth of the matter is she needs to be asleep.
I feel like u were responsible in introducing her to psychedelics.... u didn't start her on a large dose. U gradually, with her approval moved up in acceptable increments. U treated the situation responsibly... as u know psychedelics are very powerful things.....
What you have described leads me to believe that it is not schizophrenia bc the symptoms are not reminiscent of it....but remember what I said about having to go into state dependent learning to relearn and rewire the "broken" pathways. take it with a grain a salt. stay strong and focus on love
Edited by Saint Marcus (06/24/12 08:01 PM)
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Thayendanegea]
#16432709 - 06/24/12 08:01 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Baltimark and Saint Marcus,
I feel she does have some underlying psychological issues her mom classifies as "high-strung." On our first date, she talked about how she would like to be a hermit and doesn't like being around people. She's VERY sensitive with regard to all social interactions--the opposite of thick-skinned. If someone is careless in driving, the fact that someone would be inconsiderate will bother her for at least 10 or 15 minutes. She's also very sensitive to certain kinds of joking. When we used to work together, I came in one morning after a long night, groggy, and spoke quietly because I was tired. She had a hard time hearing me and asked if she was going deaf. I thought she was joking and I said, "You must be, I've been yelling at the top of my lungs all morning." This caused her to go into a fit of sobbing saying "I don't want to go deaf." On a related note, she had had little sleep the night before as well.
Those are just a few things that I have secretly worried about, but later dismissed as odd incidents.
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Saint Marcus]
#16432725 - 06/24/12 08:06 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yeah, probably not schizo since her speech isn't fragmented and makes sense in its own way, even when she's not completely with-it. I had thought about suggesting a re-dose to see if we could sort things out, but if that went awry I think I would be a pariah. It would be great if there were specialist that studied and dealt with the mind and were educated enough to treat this stuff. I suppose it falls to this community since the medical field hasn't standardize a method of treating things like this.
Edited by SL28 (06/24/12 08:08 PM)
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Everything
(~} ;-}
Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 5,157
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16432750 - 06/24/12 08:16 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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There's probably therapists/psychologists out there that are of help. Seriously though, the great outdoors is very therapeutic. She will know she's not dead once she sees a beautiful desert sunrise!
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Hygrocybe
Walkin Wonderland
Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1,227
Last seen: 6 months, 27 days
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Everything]
#16432850 - 06/24/12 08:45 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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There are still underground therapists using psychedelics, and many more who would understand this process. You aren't going to find them in a hospital because in the last 20 years the "medical model" of mental problems became trendy, and it says that what she is experiencing is a result of biology.
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Kupo
Kupop!
Registered: 08/07/08
Posts: 2,112
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16433327 - 06/24/12 10:06 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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OP's gf has now experienced ego death. She feels it is his fault because she is identifying him, man, as order.
I have a feeling OP may be slightly controlling, just based on reading through these posts. I could be wrong, however.
I hope you find rest.
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger
Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16433338 - 06/24/12 10:08 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
SL28 said: Baltimark and Saint Marcus,
I feel she does have some underlying psychological issues her mom classifies as "high-strung." On our first date, she talked about how she would like to be a hermit and doesn't like being around people. She's VERY sensitive with regard to all social interactions--the opposite of thick-skinned. If someone is careless in driving, the fact that someone would be inconsiderate will bother her for at least 10 or 15 minutes. She's also very sensitive to certain kinds of joking. When we used to work together, I came in one morning after a long night, groggy, and spoke quietly because I was tired. She had a hard time hearing me and asked if she was going deaf. I thought she was joking and I said, "You must be, I've been yelling at the top of my lungs all morning." This caused her to go into a fit of sobbing saying "I don't want to go deaf." On a related note, she had had little sleep the night before as well.
Those are just a few things that I have secretly worried about, but later dismissed as odd incidents.
honestly this shouldn't play too much into the psychosis. i get that "hermit" thing a lot and can be overly sensitive to social interactions. maybe not to the extent of the deaf thing but i do have some pretty hardcore social issues stemming from verbal abuse and bullying when i was younger as well as some physical defects which impacted my psyche greatly. if anything psychedelics helped me but certainly haven't hurt me. but who knows... perhaps at a deeper psychological level she was still more vulnerable than me. i still think the grandma thing sounds like the biggest known contributing factor here. when you've had your fair experience tripping it's easy to toss off bad trips and move on with your life. when you've never tripped before and take it as an escape from pain, i can't imagine what kind of stress that'd do on the psyche.
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Vahn421
Awakening Moonlighter
Registered: 04/03/12
Posts: 2,162
Loc: Portland
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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SL28, a suggestion:
Get a collection of songs you know your GF knows by heart. Play them, sing them to her. Get her to sing them with you. Music is powerful. In this case, I'd use lullaby-like songs in particular. We're talking songs that her heart knows so well she would be able to sing them in her dreams.
I felt the strong impulse to share.
Good luck.
-V
Edited by Vahn421 (06/24/12 10:24 PM)
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Comradez
stargazer
Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 615
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Vahn421]
#16433542 - 06/24/12 10:46 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Wow, this story has really made me re-think the idea of ever introducing psychedelics to anyone ever again. I guess you just never know how some people will react to the experience. Thanks for sharing, and hope it all turns out ok.
I'd be really curious to hear what her experience has been like, once she gets better. The way in which people undergoing psychotic breaks make sense of their mental state fascinates me. I figure, getting that perspective from someone who has already been there would be one possible way for preparing oneself to deal with such a circumstance, should it ever arise.
-------------------- They say that life's a carousel / Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well / The world is full of kings and queens / Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams / It's heaven and hell - Ronnie James Dio (RIP)
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gornyhuy
A Myth Intrepidly Met
Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 2,933
Loc: USA
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Comradez]
#16435274 - 06/25/12 10:54 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Have you considered contacting the researchers at Johns Hopkins who are currently doing psychological experiments using psyclocybin? They woudl certainly know what to do in this case AND would carry the weight of a respected institution and of "modern medicine" to have some sway with the people that are treating your friend.
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: Everything]
#16435569 - 06/25/12 12:12 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Everything,
the hospital has her stuck indoors. Though she did freak out enough when they put her in a windowless room that they decided it would be better to let her sleep in the conference room that had a window facing some trees.
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16435595 - 06/25/12 12:17 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hygrocybe,
I'll probably talk to her about finding one of those "underground" psychologists when she gets caught up on rest. Once she gets back completely, it will be her choice which route she wants to take for further treatment--the doctors have really been shoving the "drugs bad" mantra down her throat and she feels guilty now for having done mushrooms.
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16435629 - 06/25/12 12:23 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Kupo,
the concept of ego death is something I'd like to talk to her about once her mind can handle the thought process again. I suppose I could be a bit controlling, though when a decision affects more than me I always try to evaluate how everyone feels and get an idea of what they think before making the decision. I have never told S. she must do something unless it's something she doesn't want to do, but needs encouragement (like calling her mother). I dunno, it's hard for me to differentiate between being controlling and decisive.
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16435643 - 06/25/12 12:26 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Vahn421,
the doctors don't allow electronic devices of any sort. They claimed cds could be broken to slash wrists and headphone cords used for strangulation. I proposed bluetooth headphones and an mp3 player when she was first brought in and they said 'no.' She does love music (she's a pianist and percussionist) and I feel it would have helped her out immensely. But what do I know, I don't have a degree in medicine, right?
Edited by SL28 (06/25/12 12:26 PM)
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16435659 - 06/25/12 12:30 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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JacksonMetaller,
she was a band dork and looks pretty young for her age. I'm not sure, she may have been bullied. As for family history, aside from an overbearing mom, she comes from a healthy family.
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SL28
Psilonaut
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 35
Loc: St. Louis, MO
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Re: Complete psychotic break of friend [Re: SL28]
#16435679 - 06/25/12 12:34 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Comradez,
I'm not sure this should turn you off of introducing friends to psychedelics, but it should make you cautious. You should know everything you can about the substance you are providing your friends, and everything that can go wrong. You should know how to handle things if they go wrong. Really, I thought I knew enough going into this experience and I did not.
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