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Grapefruit
Freak in the forest
Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 5,744
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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The Ant and the Butterfly 2
#16350356 - 06/08/12 05:01 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.”
I have often been depressed that life seems to entail little more that working your butt off for a low hourly rate and then getting a decent chuck taken out by the taxman, even if it is due to my own lack of inguenuiety.
My philosophical quest has been pretty well oriented to sorting this problem of physicality out. On my first glance; which was lined with a kind of dumb mania, it seemed the answer would be in some greater spirtual meaning. Through meditation, and all kinds of other kooky practices - I would end up high up in the clouds, far away from the pull of gravity and the western nightmare, perhaps in the worst of fantasies I would even be waving congenially at those still stuck in there.
After actually trying a few of these things, including a pivotal solo camping trip with a few choice drugs involved I came to see that this was folly, I would probably never be able to blot the cycle of life from view. This has caused me to kick back retrograde for the past year or so. Life became a meaningless chore full of anxiety, mania and nostalgia from which I would never be able to escape. I had gone from looking for the paradise of the butterfly to being rooted in the land of the ant.
I think that's a problem which many people on a similar kind of path face and I think I'm starting to see something of a solution. This lies in actually looking at what life for what it really is and accepting it. Instead of being prone to making up a load of bullshit one way or the other and staying in a dreary dream. The ant and the butterfly are neither positive nor negative, they have no life style or intrinsic factor they aren't just chemicals and nor are they anything more and I cannot say what they are and I no longer wish too.
Best to take a leap across the abyss and create from what's available, this involves not whining and not hyping things but cutting my own path out into the unknown. Creating my own laughter, lifestyle and spontenaity, rather than relying on the universe or a far away dream to hand me one. This is the true meaning of self-reliance and has nothing to do with physically supporting yourself IMO.
And that's where I am at the moment. C'est la vie!
-------------------- Little left in the way of energy; or the way of love, yet happy to entertain myself playing mental games with the rest of you freaks until the rivers run backwards. "Chat your fraff Chat your fraff Just chat your fraff Chat your fraff"
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Sleepwalker
Overshoes
Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
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Re: The Ant and the Butterfly [Re: Grapefruit]
#16350434 - 06/08/12 05:48 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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I've been on a very similar path recently. I'm still not sure what is going to become of me in life, but at least I'm trying to face it head-on now.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: The Ant and the Butterfly [Re: Grapefruit]
#16350438 - 06/08/12 05:50 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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bingo!
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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Re: The Ant and the Butterfly [Re: Grapefruit]
#16351290 - 06/08/12 10:23 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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There I was with the old man Stranded again so off I'd ran A young world crashing around me No possibilities of getting what I need He looked at me and smiled Said "No, no, no, no, no child. See the dog and butterfly. Up in the Air he like to fly." Dog and butterfly Below she had to try. She roll back down To the warm soft ground laughing She don't know why, she don't know why Dog and butterfly Well I stumbled upon your secret place Safe in the trees you had tears on your face Wrestling with your desires frozen strangers Stealing your fires. The message hit my mind Only words that I could find See the dog and butterfly Up in the air he like to fly Dog and butterfly below she had to try She roll back down to the warm soft ground Laughing to the sky, up to the sky Dog and butterfly We're getting older the world's getting colder For the life of me I don't know the reason why Maybe it's livin' making us give in Hearts rolling in taken back on the tide We're balanced together ocean upon the sky Another night in this strange town Moonlight holding me light as down Voice of confusion inside of me No begging to go back where I'm free Feels like I'm through Then the old man's words are true See the dog and butterfly Up in the air he like to fly Dog and butterfly, below she had to try She roll back down to the warm soft Ground with a little tear in her eye She had to try, she had to try Dog and butterfly
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination
Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 6,016
Last seen: 20 hours, 21 minutes
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Re: The Ant and the Butterfly [Re: Grapefruit]
#16351473 - 06/08/12 11:08 AM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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For Sure
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Grapefruit
Freak in the forest
Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 5,744
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: The Ant and the Butterfly [Re: Sleepwalker]
#16352464 - 06/08/12 03:13 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sleepwalker said: I've been on a very similar path recently. I'm still not sure what is going to become of me in life, but at least I'm trying to face it head-on now.
Ah, I don't think we'll ever be sure, we'll all be living like that 'til death so if we're smart we'll stay well back from it all, take in the show, and count our blessings.
-------------------- Little left in the way of energy; or the way of love, yet happy to entertain myself playing mental games with the rest of you freaks until the rivers run backwards. "Chat your fraff Chat your fraff Just chat your fraff Chat your fraff"
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quinn
some kinda love
Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: The Ant and the Butterfly [Re: Grapefruit]
#16353568 - 06/08/12 08:19 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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cool poast GF
and you got OC to respond with some sembelance of emotional content
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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Memories
Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 10,484
Loc: Suwannee River
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: The Ant and the Butterfly [Re: Grapefruit]
#16353861 - 06/08/12 09:24 PM (11 years, 9 months ago) |
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I agree. I just try to accept things for what they are while keeping myself busy with my two passions, drugs and philosophy.
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