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well it sounds to be like you're both way too polar.
as in, you seem to very a very left brained, intellectual, thinker
sort of guy, as you stated.
but she, on the othr hand, seems to be very emotioanl.
IE, she gets emotional about debates, doesn't seem to understand
the concept of constructive criticism.
so yes, you do have a communication problem,
you're both speaking different languages.
as for what to do about it, you can't really talk to
her, can you? she's jsut going to take it as critisism
or what have you, and clam up, likely.
so, in your situation, i think i would
simply try to see things from her angle more,
try to speak that emotional language, etc.
when you become more adept at it,
try very subtle ways of letting her
know what's going on. obviously direct
approaches will result in a clamming up,
(it sounds a bit underhanded and unhealthy,
i know. but she doesn't seem to respond
well to the direct approach)
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