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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
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Fresh
    #1633569 - 06/14/03 07:33 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I've been pondering over this sort of rhythmic cycle I'm in.  Strange that I usually forget about it, but I just became aware of it again.

Anyways, when this cycle makes its revolution I find myself 'back to square one' so to say.  I guess it comes right after that moment of reflection, and then I start over again.  It's really comforting because I feel like I can freely move in any direction I want.  I feel totally in control of my life. 

But eventually junk starts to pile on.  More and more junk.  It takes awhile, (I really have no idea how long, I've never kept track... maybe a month or so)  It's like I have a filtering system, and most of the needless shit passes through harmlessly, but some of it just collects, and over-time my brain fires this mechanism and just washes it all out.

I guess, if I didn't have this mechanism than everything would just stay with me, which would be fuckin horrible, because I am always knee-deep in paranoia, hasteness, dogma, close-mindedness, etc. etc.  wading... wading..

Anyways, this is kinda a first for me because I noticed this cycle before it actually 'pushed back to square'.    So I guess I'm just waiting for that moment that's coming on...  I guess it might have something to do with the hiking trip I'm going on... like a little nudge from nature, as opposed to being here in this dead environment...

anyways...

ayut!  :smirk:



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OfflineMalachi
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Registered: 06/19/02
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Re: Fresh [Re: Grav]
    #1633583 - 06/14/03 07:42 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I just read this comic called johnny the homicidal maniac. in it, johnny finds out that he is the "flusher" of all waste of the universe, so when he dies it all gets flushed. My point is.... this whole recycling/the matrix-one/ reason for life thing may very well be about keeping the universe running much like your mind flushes to remain intact.


--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Fresh [Re: Grav]
    #1633614 - 06/14/03 07:53 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

They (those teachers) say that all thoughts go in cycles.

And that meditation, just observing these thoughts without interaction is the way to 'purge' them from your system.

Just a thought.


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OfflineGrav
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Re: Fresh [Re: Shroomism]
    #1633627 - 06/14/03 08:02 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I'm content with this cycle actually.
I feel like I'm learning alot about myself and where I fit into the world.. or where I DONT fit in, rather. Which routes my river doesn't flow.


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Fresh [Re: Grav]
    #1633632 - 06/14/03 08:04 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Ya.. good stuff.. just make sure you watch it flow, and enjoy.


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
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Registered: 05/28/02
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Re: Fresh [Re: Grav]
    #1633803 - 06/14/03 10:05 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I notice this cycle happens with me a lot, too.

It is sort of comforting in a way...


--------------------
Namaste.


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Anonymous

Re: Fresh [Re: Grav]
    #1633854 - 06/14/03 10:41 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I've noticed this too, but I think of it as a spiral. You're always going in circles and coming back to square one but at the same time you're always moving forward and learning in the process. It's impossible to move backwards along the spiral cause you're constantly learning and growing. The hard times in life are simply cleansing periods for emotional "junk" that builds up for everyone. The spiral is a very prominent spiritual symbol. It also represents the union of male and female aspects of the mind, both cyclical and linear progression melded into one.  :cool: 


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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: Fresh [Re: Grav]
    #1633910 - 06/14/03 11:17 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

"I'm content with this cycle actually.
I feel like I'm learning alot about myself and where I fit into the world.. or where I DONT fit in, rather. Which routes my river doesn't flow."

I make it practice to never become "content" with any function of my brain - I attempt to consciously and constantly refine my mind's processing abilities and habits - I've found that whenever I become "content" with a state of mind or a certain "cycle" of thought or a certain cycle of WAYS OF thinking, I start getting a type of tunnel-vision that is very difficult to realize and escape.


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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InvisibleClean
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Re: Fresh [Re: Strumpling]
    #1633925 - 06/14/03 11:33 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

so does that mean that you're content to be perpetually discontented?


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OfflineMurex
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Registered: 07/28/02
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Re: Fresh [Re: Grav]
    #1633929 - 06/14/03 11:34 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I get this too. Just yesterday I looked around and everything looked so ugly. This just lets me know that I should be somewhere else, somewhere where I'm confortable. Soon (2 days) I will be moving in with my brother in another city. This is a good thing for me to look forward too, considering I feel imprisioned where I am now.

Today, I felt better after inadvertantly (don't ask how) imagining a tranquil place. My mind reset the 'loop', and I'm back at the beginning again.

But it might not have been the beginning- because it's a loop. But yeah.

:grin:


--------------------
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?



Edited by Murex (06/14/03 11:36 PM)


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OfflineGrav
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Re: Fresh [Re: Strumpling]
    #1634628 - 06/15/03 07:57 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Yea Strumples, I don't like getting comfortable with any sort of perspective because there always seems so much more to see. Flowing with constant change seems to be the only way. It feels very natural anyways, I don't have to force myself to do anything.

I always feel like 'me' is just around the corner, and I can only get to him by dropping everything else.


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