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One of the rarest types of UFO encounter is an onboard experience or a face-to-face encounter with an actual extraterrestrial.
So rare, in fact, that is never actually happens.

In my twenty years of UFO investigations, I have uncovered only a handful of these types of very close encounters.
Or is it more accurately, a "clawful"?

Surprisingly, in the vast majority of these encounters, there is little or no conversation between the humans and the aliens.
Hell yeah, I am totally suprised.

In the cases where there is conversation, it is often one-sided and limited to the extraterrestrials giving platitudes to the frightened witnesses. It?s the same phrase over and over again. I?ve heard it a thousand times. It?s almost like a broken record. The first word out of the aliens? mouths (or minds) is invariably, "DO NOT BE AFRAID. WE WON?T HURT YOU."
"Now bend over while we shove this giant probe in your backside..."

While the aliens are usually very tight-lipped, occasionally they will engage people in brief conversations or relay brief messages.
The aliens are actually "no-lipped" - heh, heh.

On the first encounter, Kelly awoke to find four gray-type ETs standing around her bed. One spoke telepathically, telling her."Do not be afraid. Come with us. You won?t remember this."
Isn't this rather redundant? The aliens must not be using the newer model X1000 Memeory Destabilizer because:

Kelly, however, was a very feisty, independent twenty-year-old, and like twenty percent of abductees, she did remember.
Feisty and good memory are linked characteristics.

She recalled being taken into a small round room and placed on a table. They told her, "We?re going to take your memory away. You?ll not remember this...Don?t be afraid. We?re not going to hurt you. You can?t remember this."
Ah, frat boys and rophynol - what a combo!

This argument went back and forth, with the aliens telling her she couldn?t and wouldn?t remember, and Kelly screaming back that she would.
Sounds like your average American family at dinner.

They then cut her arm.
But, but they promised not to hurt her.

She woke up the next morning and immediately looked at her arm. A neat two-inch scar was exactly where she remembered the aliens cutting her.
Self-mutilation is a terrible affliction and denial is a part of the pathology.

Two weeks later, the aliens returned, telling her, "We?re going to take your memory."
The aliens forgot that they already told her this; a clear sign of radiation damage from space travel.

Kelly screamed at them, "No, you?re not. I?m going to tell."
"Mo-om, the aliens cut me. Honest, they did."

"Sure dear, come take your Paxil"

Kelly screamed out that she would tell her father.
My dad can kick your puny grey ass!"

They said, "No, no, no! You can?t."
"Earth gravity weakens us and wouldn't give us a fiar fighting chance."

A few weeks later, they came again. As usual, they attempted to erase her memory of the incident. They told her, "You?re going to forget everything."
Are these "advanced" beings pathetic, or what?

However, as usual, Kelly had some recall of the events. Says Kelly, "I don?t know specifically what they asked me. They were asking me things about what we do, but you know, I can?t specifically say.
"However, I do remember them asking me, if it was good for me, too; and asking me if I wanted a smoke and if I had plans for next weekend."

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There are times and places to be unpredictable (in combat or sports for instance), but this is not one of them.

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And this is what they said: ?Why are you so involved in this [Ross Perot] campaign?" At the time, Sarah was heavily involved in the Ross Perot presidential campaign.
They continued, "Don't you know that Ross Perot is a half-human, half-Ferengi hybrid?"

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I always suspected as much! Damn Ferengis!!