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Offlinecybrbeast
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All my shroom experiences have been bad
    #1615619 - 06/06/03 10:11 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I've done shrooms three times in my life, and every time I had a bad trip. I basically made a fool out of myself, and this is the first time I'm sharing it with people besides my trip buddies.

I'm almost 18 now and my first shroom experience was when I was 16, I think. Me and two friends (also first-timers) took a standard dose of cubensis. I don't know how much it was, but it was the normal dose you bought in Holland, when they still sold dried shrooms. Anyone know what this dose was?
We blended it with OJ and drank it. We got seated and listened to some music. It was around 8 o' clock I guess. The come-up was really nice. Colors became more intense and I felt waves coming on. We chatted, laughed and were generally amazed by the effects. I saw clear visuals, the floor was made up of layers and colorful fractal patterns lined the wall.
I don't know exactly how long into the trip it was, but I figure it was at the onset of the peak. We got up and explored the room, that was when things started to go off. I got serious mindfuck.
I don't know all the details because it was a long time ago, and there are things that I didn't remember I did after the trip. I was getting weird and asking my friends if they were allright a lot.
I think I started to get some ego-loss and I was convinced I was in a dream or something. In my daily life I was also trying to get lucid dreams. Sometimes when I got one I would do crazy stuff like wreck things just for the heck of it, maybe this influenced what I was about to do.
I had a glass in my hand and I just threw it up in the air. I can still clearly see one shot of it hanging in the air in my mind. I was testing physics or something. The glass ofcourse broke into a zillion pieces.
I don't exactly know in which order the following things happened. My friends who weren't as far gone as I was started to clean things up. They put the large pieces of glass in a bin, and hoovered the rest of the floor. I then proceeded to pick up the bin and throw that into the air. We then went into my room where I'm told I grabbed a mirror and nearly broke it. I threw an ashtray through the room, which luckily didn't hurt anyone or break anything. I also threw a handful of coins at my friend.
After that my memory is mostly blank. I was sitting in a chair and blacked out or something.
When I awoke some time had passed. I still felt unhappy and the room had a weird atmosphere to it, things didn't feel right. My vision was totally fucked. I remember catching one frame a second of my surroundings. It was like playing Unreal II on a pentium200. During what felt like a half hour I kept seeing more frames until my vision was fluid again. I thought I had dreamed everything and that we were about to trip later that evening.
Imagine my embarrassment when I found out all the stuff I did. Luckily my friends somehow managed to stay relativily calm during the whole experience, and no one got hurt.
I figured it was a one off bad trip and was willing to try it again sometime.

The next time was some months later, I guess. We were in a hired bungalow. I took a standard dose again. The come-up was nice again. I saw the woodwork melt and morph. The black spots in the wood moved like little hurricanes. I saw really small black dots walking over a white surface. They radiated rainbow colors.
At some point things began to get worse again. For some reason I began to feel unhappy and couldn't see the fun of shrooming. I clearly remember entering never-ending thought spirals of negative thought. I pondered the reason of life and couldn't find a reason. I felt insecure of my future. My mind was totally fucked. Then I think I had big ego-loss, I just didn't know who or what I was. My hands morphed into one scary bonded structure when I held them close. I started to drift away.
I can't remember much after that. I kinda blacked out again. My friends told me I made stupid sounds, and banged a wall or something. Luckily I didn't get violent this time.
I do remember phasing into reality like in the previous trip. The room looked wrong and I was still very unhappy. I thought I was in a dream again but I wasn't sure. I couldn't really form words but I said stuff to my friends to test if I was dreaming. When they responded I became aware I was not. I also found out that I had wet myself during the black out. That was first time that happened to me beyond the age of 4.
Imagine my embarrassment..
I proceeded to take a shower and then I just stood in my room for an hour, reflecting on the experience.

My third time was at home again and basically went like the second one, including me wetting myself again. I took a little less than the standard dose. I don't recall much of this one.

That was my last time shrooming, besides one time I took one shroom to see if something would happen. Nothing did. I feel like I've put that behind me now and that's why I was finally ready to tell this. I'm unsure what to do in the future. I really want to have a good shrooming experience but I don't want to go through that hell again, and embarrass myself. I can accept a bad trip now and then, but all of them?

After shrooms I have tried Salvia a couple of times which was really intense and really enjoyable for me. I also smoke pot regularly without paranoia or bad effects, even on the really high doses.
I guess I might be really sensitive to shrooms and dosed too high. I also only weigh 60 kilo's. Or maybe I was too young. Or maybe I'm just crazy..
Have you ever heard of people getting three bad trips in a row? Would it be wise to try a lower dose some time?

Thanks for reading and letting my clear my mind..


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Edited by cybrbeast (06/06/03 10:16 PM)


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InvisibleLucidDream
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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1615694 - 06/06/03 10:58 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

You're either doing too much or too little. You should try smaller doses and get used to them before amping up like that. You're asking too much of your psyche. Some folks are much too sensitive to this. Ego-loss is an acquired taste, not for noobs. It's like lifting weights: you don't start out bench-pressing 300 lbs. Use some caution and you'll be fine.


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Edited by LucidDream (06/06/03 10:58 PM)


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: LucidDream]
    #1615700 - 06/06/03 11:03 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Thanks for the reply. It's strange about the ego-loss, with Salvia I've also had really intense ego-loss but it wasn't bad. I mean I became my own bed. But Salvia gets me so out there, that there is no right or wrong anymore just neutral. Also it's a lot shorter than shrooms.
I might do that. Start with low doses and slowly work my way up to a comfortable level. But on the really low doses I would probably waste a couple of nights. Better keep some weed close then :smile:


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OfflinegeokillsA
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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1615730 - 06/06/03 11:32 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

You mention a "standard dose" of mushrooms.  I am curious as to what dose this is.  If memory serves me correctly, you can purchase varieties of psychoactive mushrooms more potent then cubensis over there in Holland... so if you're gauging your doses on a cubensis scale, you may want to reconsider.

Other than that, it just seems like you had a hard time letting go of reality... why, I have no clue :confused:

I wish you the best of luck on any future endeavors - definitely try a slightly lower dose and make sure you're in a good mindset and comfortable setting.  Read this and this if you haven't already :cool:
 


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: geokills]
    #1615827 - 06/07/03 12:44 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I don't exactly know the dose. It was some time ago and my friend did the buying. Now a standard dose in the shops is a packet of 30g fresh. I don't know how much was in there in the time of dried shrooms..


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OfflineAdamist
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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1616086 - 06/07/03 04:51 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

There are shops that sell psychedelic mushrooms?


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: Adamist]
    #1616168 - 06/07/03 06:52 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Yes there are shops in Holland that sell shrooms and also peyote and san pedro. Also we have shops that sell weed, you must have heard about it. We also have legalized prostitution. So come and visit sometime  :tongue:


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1616207 - 06/07/03 08:45 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I'm one of cybrbeasts trip buddies and i do remember the dosages.

The first time we bought 6-8g cubensis and split them into 3 portions. Our dose was between 2g and 2,7g.

The second time you bought a standard dose (cubensis). I don't know in which smartshop you bought them so i don't know the exact dose, but a standard dose(cubensis) in smartshops is always between 2,5g and 3g. I don't know if you ate them all. But it wasn't more than 3g.

The third time we also bought a standard dose (cubensis). I remember you only ate 1/2 or 2/3 of the 2,5-3g. So the third time you only ate 1,5-2g.

We were 16 when we had our first trip. But we were careful and responsible. We weren't some stupid irresponsible guys who liked to try a new drug to get fucked up. Set and setting were pretty perfect.


Edited by Annom (06/07/03 08:48 AM)


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: Annom]
    #1616221 - 06/07/03 09:26 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I think I took 2/3rds in the last trip. Maybe I should try one gram sometime. If I'm just really sensitive to shrooms, that will save me a lot of money. I dunno..


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1616264 - 06/07/03 10:32 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

another thought: at your age, your personality and psyche are still developing...not yet fully formed. It's been a long time since I did any reading on the subject, but younger people are more susceptible to problems like this than those of us who are ossified old farts already set in our ways.

Plus, it could be that shrooms aren't for you. It took me two years to figure out that I HATE acid with a purple passion. My number one rule of life: if it isn't any fun, then why the hell am I still doing it?

Try playing some Yes, next time. I've always found that "Wondrous Stories" calms me down when things get bad, and if they get really bad, a glass of milk helps, too.


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1616321 - 06/07/03 11:35 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I didn't read the above replies so this may have been already stated, but if you don't wanna embarras yourself, try to do the shrooms alone. That way, if you pee yourself or make stupid sounds or whatever, you won't have to worry about what your friends will think. If you go into a shroom trip thinking "I wanna control my actions so I don't look dumb" you may just be doing the opposite. Hope your next trip will be more enjoyable, here is a great lyric from a TOOL song that can apply to your situation:

"You won't do what you'd like to do, you won't feel like you'd like to feel, lay back and let me show you another way."


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: chodamunky]
    #1616342 - 06/07/03 11:54 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I have been thinking about that. But as my actions during trips have been pretty unpredictable it might not be safe to trip alone. I think I'll try it once more with a low dose and if it fucks up, then shrooms just aren't for me.


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad *DELETED* [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1616374 - 06/07/03 12:12 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Post deleted by poke smot!

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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: poke smot!]
    #1616424 - 06/07/03 12:41 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Some people don't really respond well to mushrooms. One of my friends (very experienced tripper with acid and other things) was with me and i told him i had some fresh amazon at the house. He was so excited he flew to my house we split some only about 20 grams fresh between us. It was his first time. We got back in the car 15 minutes later it hit us like a ton of bricks we laughed and gigled got lost on the way back to his house. We started getting some pretty good visuals we were really having a good time when we got back to his house. The next thing i know his brother walks in and tells my friend to suck his dick (jokingly)
he jumps up hits him in the jaw then grabs a pan from the kitchen and beats him over the head with it. this all happened in less than two minutes. I won't say what happened after that. but mushrooms can have very different effects on people.


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: poke smot!]
    #1616494 - 06/07/03 01:39 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah some change in activity might have been good. But I was really far gone. Extreme mindfuck. Not knowing where I was, who I was, that I even had shrooms. It all felt like a dream. Then just floating away into blackness.
But the visuals I had before the peak were very enjoyable and interesting/


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1616701 - 06/07/03 03:49 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

"But as my actions during trips have been pretty unpredictable it might not be safe to trip alone."

The unpredictability is a big part of every trip for me - this is why I make it a mission not to move much on a trip :wink: because who knows what I'll do if I get up and forget what's going on :smile: - when I'm tripping if I start doing one thing and forget what I was doing, I'll sometimes figure out something else to do so I don't look stupid (even though that's stupider than just sitting/laying back down).

I think you have to expect more unexpectedness - The fact that you've addressed this on this forum should actually already be helping you :wink: Just remember that shrooms CAN be spooky, but they can be blissful as well, and as long as you remember that its all up to you; your mood will be all up to you - its weird man you kind of have to get ahold of yourself AND LET GO of yourself at the same time.. that's the best way I can explain it heh

On your next trip, try tripping with just one other peaceful quiet person and plan on just laying down and relaxing the whole time, observing the experience and your body's reaction to the substance :smile: - Don't forget to laugh at the insane perspective-shifts you undergo, and don't forget to smile :smile:

Don't try to avoid the fun - because then you won't have fun :laugh: lol


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: Strumpling]
    #1617654 - 06/08/03 03:47 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I've had the same thing happen, you know the answer?

The answer is to stop them for a while, and get to know yourself or get in touch with yourself better.

Bad trips are a sign that something is wrong, I find. Once you've had your first bad trip, it's kinda hard not to think about that same trip the next time you induldge on some mushrooms, beleive me its happened to me, and I have had many many many many bad experiences with this drug (not doing mushrooms until I figure out my life). So maybe just cut down a little...

Don't try to avoid or approach anyhting while you are tripping. You then put your mind into a 'game' state, and you will start tricking yourself.

If you arn't having a good time, roll with the flow, and as bad as it goes tell yourself that nothing you see is reality you're just high. Do not try to label yourself as good or bad...just cut down, and if your not doing them alot, still, cut down.

It did help me until this past month I had a mind altering experience, bad trip, crazy fucking thoughts, not cool, not fun at all. Therefore I have stopped mush until I can handle them more easier. give it a try.

peace./

Sorry if you cant really understand this, just try to get the thought. I'm supreme baked right now.


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Edited by MistaSmokupalot (06/08/03 03:49 AM)


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: MistaSmokupalot]
    #1617738 - 06/08/03 05:40 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Thanks for the advice guys, I'll let you know how it goes sometime..


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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: cybrbeast]
    #1621804 - 06/09/03 08:53 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I'm pretty sure something along those lines would happen to me if i had eaten 3g of shrooms my first time...

The first time i ate 3g was my 4th trip, and even so it was too much. Sometimes during that trip i wish i could have a minute of rest from all that mindfuck...

Just start with 1g and work your way up...

Some people here at the shroomery swear that 1g of shrooms is less than a threshold dose but for me and EVERYONE i know in real life 1g of homegrowns is perfectly fine for a good night of giggles and fun.

Believe me, you get a lot higher from a gram of shrooms than from a gram of good weed (at least from the P. Cubensis me and my friends grow).

Of course you won't have a deep, insightful trip with all sorts of spiritual revelations, but hey don't expect to get there the 1st, 3rd or even 10th time you're doing shrooms.

Right now i can handle a 3 - 5g trip just fine but i had A LOT of 1 - 2 g trips before that to prepare me.

Don't rush into the mushroom experience. Proceed carefully.
IMHO 3g is way too much for a first timer. Seriously.

Most people i know from the portuguese psychedelic community would refuse to eat 3g of good cubensis mushrooms at a time. In fact a lot of them call me and my friends crazy because we do it.
Some of the most experienced do eat 5 - 6g and sometimes even more but they will eat them little by little over the course of a whole night...


Edited by esin (06/09/03 09:27 PM)


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OfflineMistaSmokupalot
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Re: All my shroom experiences have been bad [Re: esin]
    #1622863 - 06/10/03 03:08 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

agreed.



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