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Olgualion
Shaman-In-Training
Registered: 11/13/01
Posts: 1,253
Loc: Currently Earth...
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Tough days ahead...
#1614701 - 06/06/03 01:25 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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My mind is hardly able to concentrate. Moments of flashing memories, and the tears are welling. It's been 5 years. Almost twenty percent of my life, and now, the end. 5 years of living with someone whose faults I accepted and loved unconditionally; five years of living with someone who is unable to do the same. Even though I know it for the best, the pain remains the same. I felt a sense of relief at first. A feeling of freedom and visions of the things I will now be able to do. But the pain came back quickly. Looking at my posessions, out-of-place on my mothers floor, and remembering where they were. I think it is for the best. I can't deal with the bullshit anymore. I can't deal with the lack of trust. I want to call her, but I don't want to call her. It hasn't even been a day, what will tomorrow bring?
I don't know. Writing this for the past few minutes seemed to help relieve the pain I feel from a very recent breakup with my girlfriend. We have been living together for the past 5 years, but I know the end is here. I can't stand how I feel inside. How long does this last? I need a bowl!
-------------------- Study the past... See the future...
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Scvotto_Turellskey
officially old
Registered: 03/03/03
Posts: 136
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Tough days ahead... [Re: Olgualion]
#1614726 - 06/06/03 01:34 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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I broke up with my gf of 7 years about two months ago, and I really know what you mean about the "feeling of freedom and visions of the things I will now be able to do. But the pain came back quickly."
All I can say is two months on and I'm a happy bunny. Best thing to do is just get out more with your friends, and don't fret too much. Oh yeah and try going bowling instead of doing a bowl. I've met some great gals out bowling!
-------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "They think we are retarded - they are retarded." - The Sultan of Spin.
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Olgualion
Shaman-In-Training
Registered: 11/13/01
Posts: 1,253
Loc: Currently Earth...
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I hope you're right.
As the day passes, it is only getting worse. I try to take my mind off of things by organizing my things. I look for my babies, and see that two were cut in half during the move. They were nearly 11 month's old. One peyo and one peruvianus. I had planned on having them for the rest of my life. I cried more over it than I did my girlfriend, or maybe it was the two combined. I know the emergency graft won't work. It can only get better from here. i hope.
This has to be one of the worst days of my life!
-------------------- Study the past... See the future...
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DailyPot
Trip'n Time
Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 2,207
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
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Re: Tough days ahead... [Re: Olgualion]
#1615070 - 06/06/03 03:49 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Sorry about cati Its still possible they can survive...mine have come from near death back to life, actully I think they were dead but w/e, they're not anymore.
Like you said, you dont know what the future will bring, hang in there for better or worse. Usually after bad shit happens good stuff comes...just what I've noticed.
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DailyPot
Trip'n Time
Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 2,207
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
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Re: Tough days ahead... [Re: DailyPot]
#1615081 - 06/06/03 03:50 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Opps lol, the 2nd paragraph was mostly about the ex hehe. Sorry, she matters to
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Scvotto_Turellskey
officially old
Registered: 03/03/03
Posts: 136
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Tough days ahead... [Re: DailyPot]
#1615421 - 06/06/03 06:33 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Look, girlfriends come and go. Don't worry! We humans can get over these things pretty quickly! As for the plants....well you sound like my younger sister! She has "women's problems" and once even attacked me for eating her pickles! Look....you'll get another girlfriend! Sometimes men and women aren't ment to be together....we don't fit! We might think we're perfect but really we want something the other person can't give. You'll find someone else, who will fill the gap and then some! You just have to "hunt" in new pastures!
Try bowling! Serious! I've met a gal I am very into while bowling! BOWLING! I'd never done it much before, but whooooooooah, it was fun.....(and so is she!)
-------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "They think we are retarded - they are retarded." - The Sultan of Spin.
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Olgualion
Shaman-In-Training
Registered: 11/13/01
Posts: 1,253
Loc: Currently Earth...
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I think just talking about it a bit has helped! I went out for awhile and felt pretty good, but I still have the feeling that something is missing. For some reason, I don't want to have that feeilng gone just yet. I don't know why, but I feel that the low-down feeling that comes along with the memories is beneficial to my growth in some way. I don't know.
I am not interested in meeting anyone else just yet. I need to find myself and get to where I need to be first.
the cacti were just an added punch, but at least one made it and hopefully the other will survive the graft.
thank you Scvotto, you have helped to make me feel a bit better, and brought a few smiles to my face.
-------------------- Study the past... See the future...
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mike
iHugTrees
Registered: 01/14/03
Posts: 171
Last seen: 20 years, 5 months
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Re: Tough days ahead... [Re: Olgualion]
#1615543 - 06/06/03 07:40 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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i think a person nees to kno wwhat he/she really DOESNT want, before it can know what it DOES want. what can you expect whn our society is pumping out broken children, flailing to find their face, let alone their love.
if the time has come, fare thee well.
-------------------- Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. -Albert Einstein
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MushMushi
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 480
Loc: Canada
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Re: Tough days ahead... [Re: Olgualion]
#1615651 - 06/06/03 08:28 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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I wish sometimes I didn't have any attraction to girls It hurts so much...
There is only a solution that will take away your pain: time Distractions (going out with friends, having sex with other girls, etc) will make you feel good for the moment but then the pain comes back.
Geez, I wish sometimes I didn't have feelings.
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Tough days ahead... [Re: MushMushi]
#1615680 - 06/06/03 08:47 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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>but I still have the feeling that something is missing. hehe... just my opinion but that might not be due to your girlfriend. I've had the subtle sensation that something is missing for the last 15 years it's our longing for something higher... it's what we incesantly try to cover up with girlfriends, drugs, booze, work, etc someone one quoted a beautiful line from Twin Peaks: girls sez seductively to guy who's always reading: "we'll there's some things we can't find in books..." guys sez: "there's some things we can't find anywhere... but we convince ourselves that we can find them in others" I thought this was one of the most profound lines I've ever heard. Sums up my feelings completely... I wish u all the best Olgualion, may u have peace and fulfilment, and everlasting joy.
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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the free thinker
salesman
Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 1,877
Loc: twin cities
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: Tough days ahead... [Re: lucid]
#1615999 - 06/07/03 12:52 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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you could always show up at your ex's house right now and try to get her back.
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Journey
newbie
Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 117
Last seen: 19 years, 4 months
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Quote:
I wish sometimes I didn't have any attraction to girls It hurts so much...
Maybe LSAuser was right about that whole nonsexual thing
I know how your feeling, give it a month or so meet some new girls and you'll get over her
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