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Offlineshr00m
junglisT 2 thefUll3st

Registered: 05/01/03
Posts: 801
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
fighting my social anxiety....
    #1579963 - 05/26/03 10:37 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

It all happened this year. I started getting social anxiety and all. it was a big bummer. It created many problems for me(and even a health problem)

I had the anxiety everytime I was out somewhere and not at my house. I tried to lie to myself that I had a health disease or something. my life sucked for sucha long time. I lost many friends. I lost my "coolness". and life was going completely down. yea I felt like ending it. who at one point in their life doesnt feel that way?

anyways. I wanted to live my life. I wanted to see another day. I wanted to stop being so miserable. I wanted my anxiety problems to go away. I turned to many things. Like getting drunk every weekend. To smoking weed. But all I did was run away from my problems.

So I thought to myself. Why do I care so much what other people think about me? Why am I acting this way? And this is just life. just be yourself. it really helped me a lot. We are all humans. why do we need to feel this horrid anxiety? as humans we are suppose to be social and all.

so instead of usually running away from my social problems. I started to face them. my mind kept on magnifying my anxiety problems 1000x then it really was. it was really nothing. it was just my mind.

and my life started getting better. its pointless worrying. and all. im still fighting the anxiety. its around 95% solved. i want it to be cured completely. but having some anxiety is ok. its like being happy or sad. but mine was completely way overboard.

what also helped me out was talking to someone. to let it all out. and soon you will think to yourself how stupid you sound when the problem isn't really that bad.

just thought i'd share....good luck to all of you people. its a fight. whoever said life was easy?

and one more thing....
BE YOURSELF!


--------------------
the only constant is change~ life goes on. so theres no point in staying back because you can always catch up. try,hope, and understand!

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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: shr00m]
    #1580020 - 05/26/03 11:03 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

Thats good to hear, shOOm! This was a problem (amongst others..) with me for a very long time, so I know how bad SA can suck! It sounds like you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, so keep up the good work! :smile: 

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Offlineshr00m
junglisT 2 thefUll3st

Registered: 05/01/03
Posts: 801
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: Le_Canard]
    #1580881 - 05/27/03 07:59 AM (20 years, 10 months ago)

thanks man. just what i need. some encouragement.


--------------------
the only constant is change~ life goes on. so theres no point in staying back because you can always catch up. try,hope, and understand!

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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: shr00m]
    #1586680 - 05/28/03 09:57 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

I went through a period in my life wher i was extremely depressed, shy, selfcontious, and antisocial. After a while i really just got to a point wher i couldn't stand it anymore and had to concentrate on controlling my own mental state and emotions. And really working on proggraming myself into living somewhat comfortably. I'm glad to hear you worked your way out of that rut too. Feels good to know how far you'v come don't it?


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OfflineBillowz
Fellow Shaman
Registered: 03/28/02 Happy 22nd Shroomiversary!
Posts: 91
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: shr00m]
    #1586692 - 05/28/03 10:00 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

I've felt this way at times but I guess I just pushed passed it. Although I still get it sometimes I tell myself to forget about it's nothing, it's a stupid voice from my head and believe it or not it will sometimes completely vanish.

Good luck with your troubles...and keep trying!

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OfflineMickel
enthusiast
Registered: 02/25/03
Posts: 242
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: Billowz]
    #1586941 - 05/28/03 11:08 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Does meditation help social anxiety? Does it get rid of it completley? I have had the worst anxiety for about 5 years. It started to get worse when I hit high school. Man, I thought I would be so cool in high school, but when reality struck, I had no place to hide but just quiver up and hope noone would see my red face. SHit so many embarrissing moments in high school that I have suffered through. WHen I look back.. I think that it wasn't that bad. I could of handled it better but what happened happened. I smoked weed everyday for about two years, after that I had no idea who I was. I am going to fight this though, I am going to try meditation everyday until its gone.

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OfflineJourney
newbie
Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 117
Last seen: 19 years, 4 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: Mickel]
    #1587007 - 05/28/03 11:28 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Meditation really helps, be experimental question yourself thoroughly as of why you have this anxiety. Try to reprogram yourself, I cant explain how you do it. Experiment while meditating and try to cover every angle.

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Offlineshr00m
junglisT 2 thefUll3st

Registered: 05/01/03
Posts: 801
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: ]
    #1590279 - 05/29/03 06:32 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

wow dreamer987. I never thought I could say it in that way of programming yourself to normality or what you want to achieve. but thats basically what i have been doing. meditation helps.

but i am just fighting this straight up. and its working pretty much. still have some problems here and there. but i know that i will never be able to 100% get rid of my social anxiety because some of it is normal.

mickel, do you have any songs you enjoy listening to? i really loved this song by jimi hendrix-the wind cries mary. and countless other relaxing mellow songs.

by listening to this music when i have anxiety it helps a lot and my anxiety dissapears. program your mind to just say fuck it. its nothing. just your mind.

when im out somewhere and my anxiety kicks in. i just relax. and play the song in my head and think of a nice place. and just totally relax and just not think about anything else. its hard at the beginning but you can do it. i did it and i had anxiety so bad. the first few days/weeks is hard but trust me. keep on trying. it really helps.

good luck man.


--------------------
the only constant is change~ life goes on. so theres no point in staying back because you can always catch up. try,hope, and understand!

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OfflineMindTrap
Disembodiedvoice
Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 349
Loc: It's all in your head...
Last seen: 19 years, 3 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: shr00m]
    #1590296 - 05/29/03 06:40 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

This is a problem I'm currently trying to deal with myself.

It's to the point where I find it more comfortable to just live alone than to associate with people. People of course find this strange which just exasperates the problem.

What techniques have you used to conquer this problem?

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Offlineshr00m
junglisT 2 thefUll3st

Registered: 05/01/03
Posts: 801
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: MindTrap]
    #1590334 - 05/29/03 06:53 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

if you read my above post ..... i have listed one method that "helped" as you can never cure social anxiety 100%.
because being anxious sometimes is human.

and i was at the point of being just comfortable by myself too. but you will soon learn you are wasting your precious life being locked up. you don't want to be like this forever.

so keep that in mind.
you arent gonna be all social one random day. deal with it now.

and yes. its all in your head.....well most of it is anyways :|


--------------------
the only constant is change~ life goes on. so theres no point in staying back because you can always catch up. try,hope, and understand!

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OfflineMindTrap
Disembodiedvoice
Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 349
Loc: It's all in your head...
Last seen: 19 years, 3 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: shr00m]
    #1590419 - 05/29/03 07:14 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Have you ever tried any of the medications touted to relieve social anxiety? SRIs like Paxil or whatever.

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OfflineMickel
enthusiast
Registered: 02/25/03
Posts: 242
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: MindTrap]
    #1591485 - 05/29/03 10:20 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

I tried paxil, helped a little bit. Just a little less anxious. Was on it for about three months. I never got any side effects that most people were complaining about. Except I would twitch my leg up and down when I got anxious. actually that happened most of the three months just twitching my leg after I stopped the twitching stopped. Anyways I want to know what type of meditation people use for social anxiety. I don't really want to meditate it is to hard but tell me anyways. I don't want to think about this anxiety anymore. I will try that music thing and download that song. Thanks for the idea

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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: Mickel]
    #1591651 - 05/29/03 10:56 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

There really isn't a techniqe or anything to get rid of it. Its whatever works for you. You just have to realize that you are in control of it, and you can change the way you think. Alot of it is learning to relax, and understanding that people don't pay nearly as much attention to you as you think. The world isn't centered around you. If you just do your own thing and don't care about what others think you'll be fine.
and just for shits and giggles check out Greatful Deads box of rain. That song has really touched me and helped me.


--------------------

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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #1592117 - 05/30/03 03:42 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

I agree with most of what you say except that I know that there are techniques to get rid of it as I have studied psychology.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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OfflineMickel
enthusiast
Registered: 02/25/03
Posts: 242
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: enotake2]
    #1594032 - 05/30/03 04:24 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

what are some of the techniques? can you describe them in detail

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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: shr00m]
    #1595886 - 05/31/03 09:26 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

I don't think "fighting" it is going to be the best way to get rid of it..


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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OfflineZeppelin
I'm Gonna BurnOne Down.

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 127
Last seen: 18 years, 11 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: shr00m]
    #1596123 - 05/31/03 11:36 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

It all happened this year. I started getting social anxiety and all. it was a big bummer. It created many problems for me(and even a health problem)

I had the anxiety everytime I was out somewhere and not at my house. I tried to lie to myself that I had a health disease or something. my life sucked for sucha long time. I lost many friends. I lost my "coolness". and life was going completely down. yea I felt like ending it. who at one point in their life doesnt feel that way?

anyways. I wanted to live my life. I wanted to see another day. I wanted to stop being so miserable. I wanted my anxiety problems to go away. I turned to many things. Like getting drunk every weekend. To smoking weed. But all I did was run away from my problems.

So I thought to myself. Why do I care so much what other people think about me? Why am I acting this way? And this is just life. just be yourself. it really helped me a lot. We are all humans. why do we need to feel this horrid anxiety? as humans we are suppose to be social and all.

so instead of usually running away from my social problems. I started to face them. my mind kept on magnifying my anxiety problems 1000x then it really was. it was really nothing. it was just my mind.

and my life started getting better. its pointless worrying. and all. im still fighting the anxiety. its around 95% solved. i want it to be cured completely. but having some anxiety is ok. its like being happy or sad. but mine was completely way overboard.

what also helped me out was talking to someone. to let it all out. and soon you will think to yourself how stupid you sound when the problem isn't really that bad.

just thought i'd share....good luck to all of you people. its a fight. whoever said life was easy?

and one more thing....
BE YOURSELF!





I went through a very similar experience in my life. It makes me sad to think about all the kids who have the same problem and are put on Paxil or something similar by their psychiatrist. Pills don't cure anything... they are just as bad as weed or alcohol in the sense that they don't change the problem, they just allow you to run from it.

That's a very cool story. Good luck with whatever you do.


--------------------
I'm afraid of losing my obscurity.
Genuineness only thrives in the dark.

Like celery. ~Aldous Huxley

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InvisibleArmFromTheAbyss
Old Hand

Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 1,368
Loc: Down here in Babylon
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: shr00m]
    #1596758 - 05/31/03 05:19 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

I've gone through this.

I basically told myself one nite that my life is mine to create. All that suffering and sadness is your fault because most of the time you create it. I'm not saying that there's never anything worth getting upset about, that depends on whats going on in your life. But most of the time, the suffering is useless. See, everybody is born into these certain boundaries and mental blocks. The real people are the ones that can get past them. The only thing stopping you from being happy is yourself.

As for social problems, I think of it this way:

In 20 years it won't matter.

It's hard though, to always remember what you've taught yourself. It always gets easier.


--------------------

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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: ArmFromTheAbyss]
    #1597281 - 05/31/03 11:32 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

heh yeah its all drama dude..


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: fighting my social anxiety.... [Re: Mickel]
    #1597738 - 06/01/03 03:43 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

This link describes a social anxiety therapy program. I don't think a group is necessary. The behavioural component can be done in individual therapy. And just cognitive therapy is useful for some people. The therapy doesn't have to take a long time either. With cognitive therapies - a therapist might ask you to at first identify situations between sessions where you felt anxious, and to identify what thoughts you had during those situations. Then the therapist will help you to challenge the thoughts you had. For example "I thought that my flatmate who was in the room when I was on the phone with Steve thought that I must be an idiot for being so nervous". And it might be challenged with "My flatmate was probably too busy to notice or care what I was doing. If he listened to my conversation at all, he might have thought Steve was an arsehole or that we were having a particularly difficult conversation. Besides, everyone gets nervous in some situations. I am still an OK person. I don't have to be perfect at everything I do and say". Then you might do your own challenges in a note pad at home every time you get anxious in a social situation. Later, you might make some positive statements based on the challenges you've made to replace negative thoughts. eg. "Most people are too busy with what they are doing to notice or care what I am doing" or "I don't have to be perfect at everything I do and say, mistakes are human". These can be written out every day so that they become automatic thoughts in anxiety arousing situations. A related behavioural experiment (mentioned in the link) might be checking other peoples reactions when you eg. spill your drink in a restaurant.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

Edited by enotake2 (06/01/03 09:15 PM)

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