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Evil Toadstool



Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 485
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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Getting an erection in a public place...
#15808487 - 02/14/12 02:40 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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???
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Big Worm
Perf



Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 7,642
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Evil Toadstool]
#15808494 - 02/14/12 02:41 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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hold that shit against your leg with your hand in your pocket.
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ImAcar
Stranger

Registered: 06/09/11
Posts: 8
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Big Worm]
#15808505 - 02/14/12 02:43 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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not gonna lie getting up with a boner makes it go away quicker
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Big Worm] 1
#15808511 - 02/14/12 02:44 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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anonymous: One time I jacked it while riding a bike... A car came and I almost crashed, 'Didn't finish' and I learned my lesson.
cool, I just figured out how to do annonymous
Edited by Anonymous (02/15/12 09:12 PM)
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King Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows



Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 7,267
Last seen: 6 months, 30 days
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15808594 - 02/14/12 03:06 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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^ I tuck it in my boxers.
-------------------- Your god is dead, and I killed him. When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Evil Toadstool]
#15812178 - 02/15/12 05:51 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm a fan of the waistband trick. I use that method when at all possible. Other ways make it obvious you're hiding something.
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Tranzfixed
Hunter/Gatherer


Registered: 07/27/11
Posts: 965
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15812185 - 02/15/12 05:56 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I can never do the waist band trick cuz I don't want to reach in my pants and people see me fumbling around. Everyones seen Superbad now soo its a dead givaway. I tend to just think of random stuff while waiting it out.
-------------------- "The True Guru has bestowed His most pure and sacred teachings. Chanting the name of the Lord, Har, Har, Har, my mind is transfixed and enraptured."
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Tranzfixed]
#15812203 - 02/15/12 06:13 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah, sometimes you're in a situation where it's probably inappropriate to stick your hand down your pants and start shifting your boner around. And if you can't just sit it out you're stuck with the hand in the pocket maneuver or covering it up with something.
The worst surprise erections happened in middle school, and to an extent high school. A kid going through puberty gets random boners about 300 times a day, many of them during class. When you get called up to the front of the class while you are in the middle of a raging boner, it's an awful feeling. Eyes are on you, so waistband trick is out of the question. If you stick your hand in your pocket while you're still sitting, you just gave yourself away. Crap I forgot how bad that sucked. I'd be all like "Go away erection!" but it'd still be
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tospace

Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 2,585
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15812368 - 02/15/12 07:42 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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lol funny ^, I thought it was called 'erect' when u get a boner. I usually only got boners in the morning so I never had problem that much. I did go camping once and in the morning we went hiking and this is what it was like. I couldn't be like... can we stop for a minuet? I needa let my boner go down.
-------------------- a teenage girl looking for guidance
Edited by tospace (02/15/12 07:42 AM)
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atayia
nom nom



Registered: 02/24/08
Posts: 1,319
Loc: Canada
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: tospace] 1
#15812726 - 02/15/12 09:38 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I heard from a nurse, apparently if you can tuck it upwards towards your belly it helps it drain quicker and return to normal. Something about preventing flow of blood one direction while encouraging it to flow the other way.
---Not an expert. I don't have a penis---
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Edited by atayia (02/15/12 09:39 AM)
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: atayia]
#15812991 - 02/15/12 10:56 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm not sure if that nurse was right, my experience at least would suggest otherwise. Part of it could be from the waistband putting pressure on the veins in the penis, causing blood to drain even slower than under normal erection conditions. Even if I'm wearing pants with a loose or elastic waistband, I've never noticed an erection going away faster than it normally would.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime] 1
#15815818 - 02/15/12 09:04 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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speaking of nurses.... I recall one telling me her method of dealing with excited patients she was preping for the doctor, a good whack on the dick with a spoon - ouch!!
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15817488 - 02/16/12 07:24 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I have a pretty awesome story involving erections and nurses.
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Phenom
Stranger


Registered: 02/07/12
Posts: 382
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15818874 - 02/16/12 01:48 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
MorphinTime said:
I have a pretty awesome story involving erections and nurses.
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atayia
nom nom



Registered: 02/24/08
Posts: 1,319
Loc: Canada
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Phenom] 1
#15819117 - 02/16/12 02:39 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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please share
--------------------

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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Phenom] 2
#15819294 - 02/16/12 03:20 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Alright, technically the story takes place in a county hospital, which is semi-public, so it's not derailing the thread too much.
I was just starting fifth grade at my elementary school. The first week I noticed that something was wrong on the playground during recess: my balls were killing me. I didn't want to tell anybody for fear of embarrassing myself, so I decided to ride it out and wait til I got home. As the day progressed, the pain dulled significantly to the point where I forgot about it. Got on the bus, made sure my little brothers were on, and was soon on my way home.
When my brothers and I get off the bus and start walking home, the pain picks back up, and it's much more intense compared to the playground episode. Once we get home, I see that my neighbor is visiting and talking to my mom. I decide to wait til she leaves to tell my mom. Our neighbor left several hours later, and by that time the pain had again subsided and I forgot about it. Spent the rest of the day doing kid things til bedtime.
The next day I wake up in excruciating agony. I can't keep it a secret, I'm pretty sure I'm going die at this point. I pull my pants off and my balls are the size of a fucking grapefruit. I'm like "WTF!? I am dying!" I run to my mom and tell her about my huge balls. She freaks out and rushes me to the county hospital. While waiting in the hospital, I do my best to take my mind off the pain. I was pretty unsuccessful. Ever been kicked directly in the balls? That's what it felt like the whole time.
After waiting an eternal 20 minutes of pain beyond what my balls could handle, they take me back to see the doctor. I try to answer her questions, but I really have no idea how or why this could have happened to me. I'm also really distracted with pain, and am likely sounding really incoherent. The doctor suspects some sort of insect/spider bite or an allergy. They take me to an ultrasound room to get a look inside and see if there's internal damage of some kind.
As they leave me in the room on the table, they tell me to pull up my gown for access. I comply and proceed to lay there. Not much later, a really pretty lady walks in. She describes what she is going to do and what the machine does. She asks if I'm ok with that and I say sure.
Well, she begins making preparations for the ultrasound. I'm kind of nervous. I'm laying on the table with my junk out and she's rubbing the ultrasound gel onto the thingy, which I know she is about to start rubbing all over my poor balls. She says "Here we go" in a reassuring voice and starts scoping out my sack with the ultrasound machine. To my surprise, it wasn't hurting as bad as I had expected it to, and in fact, it felt kinda good.
Now, at this point in my life (fifth grade), I had not masturbated, and wasn't aware of the practice. I had gotten the occasional erection, but I didn't really know what was going on when that happened. I had the flu during the week of sex ed in fourth grade, so I missed some information. As you can imagine, the woman is covering every square inch of my sack, trying to see what was causing the swelling and extreme sensitivity. Blood started to flow, and I realized I was starting to get a boner.
I didn't know what to do. I couldn't stop it, and I felt really embarrassed as I slowly grew bigger. The woman didn't break her concentration though, and continued on. I was breathing heavy, and was sure she noticed and could tell how nervous I was. And then she did something I wasn't expecting. She took the ultrasound thing and started slowly moving up my shaft. Nonchalant to the max. I wasn't sure why she was looking around there, my penis was completely fine. But I wasn't complaining. It was really starting to feel awesome.
As she continued to rhythmically move the ultrasound thingy up and down my shaft, my breathing was getting heavier. I wasn't really trying to control my breaths at this point. I was confused, but not confused about me liking what was going on. I tried my best to keep my eyes off in the distance, but I would keep sneaking glances at the woman. She stopped looking at the monitor as often as she had been in the beginning of the procedure, and was keeping most of her attention between my legs. I could tell she was trying not to let me see her sneak peaks at my face, but I have decent peripheral vision and could tell that she was doing it when convinced I wasn't looking at her. She had a relaxed look on her face. I could tell she was getting some kind of enjoyment out of what she was doing though.
I was breathing really hard now. She spoke for the first time since she started rubbing the ultrasound thingy on me and said "It's ok." Well she was rubbing me considerably faster than when she started, and I could tell something was going to happen. I just didn't know what. All of the sudden, my first orgasm ever put me in outer space. Up til that point I had no idea anyone could feel this good. My body hadn't matured enough to expel ejaculate at the time of orgasm, so it was a dry fire (anybody miss those?). I was speechless. I definitely forgot how bad my balls hurt.
She began cleaning up all the ultrasound gel with a smile on her face. Not a huge grin, just a subtle one. Mine wasn't subtle. Neither of us spoke during the awkward clean up portion of this story. When she was done, she asked if I wanted to ride in a wheel chair back out to my mom. I was like "Yeah!" She found a wheelchair and pushed me out to the waiting room.
And that is how I got my first handjob and subsequent orgasm from a pedophile woman in the hospital. Traumatic? No. Not even close. I wouldn't think of trading that experience out of my life.
They never did figure out exactly what happened to my balls, just that it was some kind of bite. They gave me stuff for the swelling and I was back to normal in a few days.
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Kissmegxxdnite
Breath in Electronic Fumes


Registered: 12/15/11
Posts: 190
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 11 years, 26 days
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15822064 - 02/17/12 03:01 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Epic story!!!
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Kissmegxxdnite]
#15824624 - 02/17/12 06:26 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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epic bs
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spoonbomb
Registered: 10/16/10
Posts: 2,058
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Anonymous #3]
#15824671 - 02/17/12 06:40 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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 I don't care if that's bullshit or not Its an epic story
-------------------- .
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: spoonbomb]
#15824847 - 02/17/12 07:16 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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No bs at all, though it's easy to see why one would think so. It wasn't exactly a common experience by any standards.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15827048 - 02/18/12 09:13 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Haha if that had been a guy everybody'd be like "gross, they should hang him from his balls and rape him in prison", but seeing as how it's a woman everyones all like: "whoo, good on you bro!"
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Kid_Orgo


Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 5,514
Loc: Hale-Bopp
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Anonymous #4] 2
#15827743 - 02/18/12 01:04 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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-------------------- He was a cowboy in one of the seven days a week fights. No business, no hangout; no friends, nothing; just what you pick up and what you need.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#15831936 - 02/19/12 12:09 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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When I was in jail I'd wake up with morning wood almost all the time. Having 4 man cells and weird dreams I know I was grabbing my shit in the middle of the night and probably talking in my sleep, so I didn't care to just wake up and stumble to the bathroom with it raging in my pjs. I'd always go to chow hall for breakfast and have it sticking out like a raised flag sometimes. No one ever said anything but people had to notice.
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Wishing Well
toss me some gold


Registered: 02/14/12
Posts: 238
Loc: spiraling
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: vandago]
#15831983 - 02/19/12 12:22 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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showers
cant say anything from experience here but this thread makes me laugh
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Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Evil Toadstool]
#15833225 - 02/19/12 05:14 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Cant tuck it in my belt, it goes over the belt. Usually just sit down and wait it out.
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Wishing Well
toss me some gold



Registered: 02/14/12
Posts: 238
Loc: spiraling
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Gumby]
#15833276 - 02/19/12 05:21 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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sounds painful
having a belt squeeze genitals I mean
Large gonads gather stares but are ultimately much more pleasurable for female company
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Gumby]
#15834410 - 02/19/12 08:26 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gumby said: Cant tuck it in my belt, it goes over the belt. Usually just sit down and wait it out.
Wait, if it didn't go over the belt then how would it stay tucked? Mine goes over the belt and it seems to work out.
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Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15834470 - 02/19/12 08:35 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Like it sticks out of my pants when I do that. People would see my dick hangin out of my waist line.
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Gumby] 1
#15834576 - 02/19/12 08:55 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gumby said: Like it sticks out of my pants when I do that. People would see my dick hangin out of my waist line.
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Wishing Well
toss me some gold



Registered: 02/14/12
Posts: 238
Loc: spiraling
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15834586 - 02/19/12 08:57 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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WHoa, explicit images
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BothHands
Dog Coffee



Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15834620 - 02/19/12 09:05 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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ahahahahahahahaha! You just made my day
And at the same time, you also creeped me right the fuck out.
-------------------- Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: BothHands]
#15834643 - 02/19/12 09:11 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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it seemed appropriate when I drew it
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BothHands
Dog Coffee



Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,177
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: MorphinTime]
#15834660 - 02/19/12 09:13 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I was referring to the hospital story, but the picture helped add another layer of hilarity and creepiness to the day, so it's all good.
-------------------- Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Aser
("")(-.-)("")




Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 2,814
Last seen: 7 years, 28 days
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Gumby]
#15834671 - 02/19/12 09:15 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gumby said: Like it sticks out of my pants when I do that. People would see my dick hangin out of my waist line.
You don't put it in front of your shirt. The shirt hides it (requires not having your shirt tucked in)
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Wishing Well
toss me some gold



Registered: 02/14/12
Posts: 238
Loc: spiraling
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Aser]
#15834726 - 02/19/12 09:25 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Aser] 1
#15834969 - 02/19/12 10:09 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Aser said:
Quote:
Gumby said: Like it sticks out of my pants when I do that. People would see my dick hangin out of my waist line.
You don't put it in front of your shirt. The shirt hides it (requires not having your shirt tucked in)
I only wear belly cut shirts, that would never work.
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Aser
("")(-.-)("")




Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 2,814
Last seen: 7 years, 28 days
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Gumby]
#15836205 - 02/20/12 03:35 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I guess you are pretty SOL when it comes to random boners then.
A friend once claimed to have "broken" a boner to make it go down. None of the rest of us really inquired about specifics. I would personally rather it be visible to all than broken, but I guess some situations are dire.
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Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Aser]
#15836498 - 02/20/12 06:58 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I had that happen once. Was drunk on tequila and having really rough sex with my ex. It slipped out and I hit her ass cheek, felt some really painful pop and my boner instantly went away. It was sore for about 3 days after that. No bueno.
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LSDXM
What Doth Life?



Registered: 08/20/08
Posts: 2,505
Loc: The 518
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: Gumby]
#15837216 - 02/20/12 11:49 AM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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I always tuck it in the waistline.
Popping the tendon will definitely make your woody go down almost immediately. It will also make it hang lower if it happens multiple times. I used to stick straight up with full force, totally defying gravity and what-not. Now it points almost straight out but slightly downward. It's cool cuz it looks like it's saying "I'm too heavy to point up", but still, I miss it.
--------------------
The number of times I edit my post is directly related to the number of times I've hit the bong
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Dr. P. Silocybin
Would you like fries with that?



Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 2,620
Loc: The Great Divide
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Getting an erection in a public place... [Re: LSDXM]
#15837286 - 02/20/12 12:05 PM (11 years, 11 months ago) |
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do sum keegels
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paulie_walnuts1
Stranger
Registered: 05/12/05
Posts: 508
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stick it in someone, fuck, man. Men don't give themselves boners....
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